WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON WIKIPEDIA: PPV CAGE MATCHES

With Lockdown coming up on Sunday, I thought it might be a good time to spend an unhealthy amount of time scouring the Internet for facts about steel cage matches on pay-per-view. Cool, RIGHT?!

This will just include TNA and WWE, for obvious reasons (ROH has only had a few PPVs), and for less obvious reasons (I don't like to shame ROH by including them in these silly ass comparisons too often). The only way I can explain that, is this:

It's like if you were comparing these three girls.

One was pretty hot, but with fake boobs and hair extensions and completely orange, but you've loved her all your life for some reason you can't explain. But she says stuff that doesn't make sense constantly, and she does not put out at all. And you're like, "but I could've sworn like ten, eleven years ago, you were such a slut!" and she's like "no way, never happened" and hangs out with these weird celebrities and you feel sad for her.

Then there's this other girl that just started hanging around kinda recently, but she's not hot AT ALL, and still has fake boobs and hair extensions, and she's totally fucking crazy and you just wish she'd get a hold of her life. But she also will do ANYTHING in bed, stuff the first girl would never even dream of, so at first it seems appealing, but after a few minutes you're too nauseous to continue. And she seems to hang out with all of your coolest best friends and turn them into big jerks with face tattoos, and you're like, "why are you treating my best friends like shit?!" and she just starts bragging about how she has six tits and how six tits are better than four tits and you are even more confused, but you still hang out with her because you just want to see your friends, but you don't really see them anymore, and if you do see them, it's only for like three minutes, tops.

And then there's this last girl who's not crazy hot, but she's pretty and natural and doesn't have a fake thing about her, and she's so smart and cool and likes all of the things you like, but the other two girls don't even know she exists. This girl wouldn't be caught dead with fake boobs or hair extensions or annoying friends or weird celebrities or caring about how many boobs you should have and you just want her to make up with her half-Japenese girlfriend because they got in a fight over this one guy and you feel like you can't hang out with them both at the same time, even though their both totally cool.

So obviously you can't compare the last girl to the first two because it's just demeaning. Right? Make sense? …

On with the show.

All stats cover from November 2004 to this Sunday, for both companies, as to properly compare them during the same time period.

NUMBER OF PPV STEEL CAGE MATCHES

WWE: 5

TNA: 46

Photo - WWE.com

This includes any standard steel cage setup. For TNA that means anything within the Six Sides of Steel, as long as there's not a change to the physical structure of it (i.e. electrifying the sides of the thing).

And just to clarify, that means in five and a half years time, the WWE has had five steel cage matches on pay-per-view, and TNA has had 46. Like one a year for WWE, and like 9 a year for TNA. Just... yeah.

NUMBER OF PPV STEEL CAGE MATCHES (ALL CAGE VARIATIONS INCLUDED)

WWE: 25

TNA: 49

This includes every steel cage match, plus anything that's a different shape. For WWE that means Elimination Chambers and HIAC's, and for TNA that just means the Steel Asylum.

NUMBER OF DIFFERENT STIPULATIONS/NAMES THERE HAVE BEEN FOR PPV CAGE MATCHES

WWE: 6

TNA: 16

Photo - TNAWrestling.com

WWE

- Steel Cage

- Hell In A Cell

- Elimination Chamber

- Barbed Wire Steel Cage

- Extreme Elimination Chamber

- Punjabi Prison

TNA

- Six Sides of Steel

- Steel Asylum

- Lethal Lockdown

- Three Degrees of Pain (Third Fall - Escape The Cage!)

- Xscape

- Six Sides of Steel - Weapons

- Six Sides of Steel - 2/3 Falls

- Six Sides of Steel - Tables

- Six Sides of Steel - Strap

- Six Sides of Steel - Anthem

- Six Sides of Steel - Guest Referee

- Six Sides of Steel - Blindfold

- Six Sides of Steel - Electrified

- Queen of the Cage

- Cuffed in the Cage

- And finally, Steel Cage!

You'd think that TNA having an event where every match is a cage match, but generally they don't have any other cage matches on PPV the rest of the year, that it would then average out to be the same as the WWE's PPV cage match frequency.

But nope.

I wonder how many years I'd have to go back through WWE PPVs until they caught up to TNA. I also wonder how long it takes until TNA does a reverse cage match.