THINGS I LOVE: WRESTLERS AS WRESTLING FANS

Everyone remembers the more talked about instances where wrestlers reveal their love for wrestling when they were young - Mick Foley sneaking in to Madison Square Garden to watch Jimmy Snuka leap off the steel cage, Edge as a sixteen-year-old attending WrestleMania VI in the eleventh row with his future kayfabe brother Christian, and so on.

But there's some you might not know. Like Shawn Daivari being interviewed by Mike Tenay on Nitro when he was fourteen:

Or Jeremy Borash as a teenage smark:

Or CM Punk getting his picture taken with Stone Cold Steve Austin (and incidentally, Davey Boy Smith - sweet glasses, Bulldog!):

There's gotta be tons more I'm missing. WWE Magazine just had a feature on Zack Ryder who mentioned he's visible at SummerSlam 2002 decked out in classic Heartbreak Kid gear (hat, wristbands, glasses, holy crap), but I can't find him anywhere. But there's a picture of Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins dressed as Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect somewhere on the internet that gets the same sentiment across... but I can't find that either so that helps in NO WAY. DAMNIT.

Anyway, the point of this is that I like seeing wrestlers who had a love for wrestling when they were young, and they got to grow up and live their dream as a professional naked fake fighter (my dream job too), whether it's seeing Daniel Bryan and Derrick Bateman reference Steve Blackman on NXT, or Kevin Steen marking out for Diesel on Twitter, or a young Undertaker honing his gimmick as a child.

Got any other examples?

UPDATE: Thought I'd add to this with two new discoveries.

How about this awesome picture of a young Chris Jericho with Ricky Steamboat?

Credit - We Watch Wrestling (Tumblr)

Or, if you squint and look closely, you can see Colt Cabana in the crowd at WrestleMania 13 when Ahmed Johnson and Savio Vega are brawling in the crowd [3:06] (credit: Brian).

That Colt Cabana find is a timely one, as he just posted on Twitter a signed Hart Foundation poster he's about to hang up on his wall. Not if I can steal it first though.

Keep those examples coming!

MATT HARDY VS. VAL VENIS IS THE NEW SHANE HELMS VS. SHAWN MICHAELS

In case you haven't been obsessing over pro wrestling internet feuds instead of things that actually matter like I have, let me get you up to speed.

Shane Helms had this to say about Shawn Michaels. It's a lot to read, but essentially what I gather from it is that Helms is mad at HBK for being a bad Christian and for not being his fwend :( . Shawn Michaels had nothing to say in response, probably because he doesn't give a fuck what The Hurricane says. Especially when every other word is a swear. Wassup wit dat?!

Also, I love when people say things like, "I was this close to beating him up." What the fuck does that even mean? Anybody could say that. "I was this close to beating him up and embarrassing him in front of all of his friends and throwing him off a building and into traffic and lighting him on fire!!!"

Anyway, Helms just comes off as a guy who wished he could be best buds with Shawn Michaels, but Shawn didn't want to be his friend because ew, it's Shane Helms. So Helms talks about how close he was to beating Shawn up, but when asked what Shawn did to make him so mad, Helms says he wants to save it for his "shoot interview DVD," which means he didn't do anything and Shane Helms is just being ridiculous.

Then, enter Val Venis:

And, never to be outdone on YouTube, Matt Hardy's response:

In case you're too lazy to watch ten minutes of wrestlers calling each other names, here's what happened. Sean Morley called Matt Hardy talentless, and made fun of him for being such a weirdo on the internet. Matt Hardy, then did the unthinkable, and essentially TATTLED ON VAL VENIS.

Matt's video opens up on an email from a promoter that knows both Morley and Matt, with Matt saying he's going to expose the fraud that is Sean Morley. The email has texts from Morley to the promoter that are typed out verbatim. They say that Morley has no real heat with Matt, but that he just likes messing with his fans, and he's potentially building to an angle they can do on the indies someday. Morley also says that the promoter can tell Matt, but not anyone else, and if Matt or Shane find out, they should bury him in every way to keep this thing alive.

Matt Hardy then seemingly ignores that and takes it all to heart, and starts talking about how great his life is and he has a million dollar house and could retire right now if he wanted to and his life is great guys just like he says in every single tweet he does so how could his life be bad if he keeps saying how great it is it's fine it's sweet my life rules you guys IT'S GREAT MY LIFE IS GREEAAAAAAAAT

I don't understand what's happening here.

Val Venis: "Matt Hardy is talentless and trampoline wrestling is lame! (psst, hey Matt - go with it! It's an angle!)"

Matt Hardy: "I WAS IN WWE FOR 12 YEARS AND MY HOUSE IS SWEET SO FUCK YOU"

Val Venis: "..."

Anyway, these internet feuds aren't doing it for me. Someone call me when they get to DIE SLOW MOTHERFUCKER proportions.

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE PART III - THE TRILOGY!

I've made quite the habit of leaving and then making a triumphant return by writing a 300 page screenplay about what happened while I was gone. This post is the third in that vein, and completes the trilogy (until I go away and come back again, which will undoubtedly happen. I'm like your stepdad.). Also, I feel the need to point out that I had to look up whether to use "vein" or "vain" in that turn of phrase by going to a site called "UsingEnglish.com". Derp.

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE

I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING

Photo - WWE.com

Every time I peace out for a while, something big seems to happen. The first time, the match of the year happened in Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler (not to mention Stephanie McMahon's fever dream of fucked up shit). The second time, the Miz cashed in his Money In The Bank briefcase and became WWE Champion. This time?

MATT HARDY GOT DREADS

STOP THE PRESSES

Photo - TNAWrestling.com

I'm about to be the eleventy billionth person to tell you that he looks like a fat Tyler Reks because (here I go) he looks like a fat Tyler Reks. Matt Hardy said he was going to reincarnate himself, but instead he just went to Sandals Jamaica. I hear the grapes are good there. But I think I prefer the Cher look myself.

Something actually big happened while I was gone (but I will admit I was most excited to write about Matt Hardy's new hair you guys):

CM PUNK IS NEXUS

AND NOT AGAINST THEM (WELL SOME OF THEM)

Photo - WWE.com

If anyone can take something shitty and turn it unshitty (I think there's a less crude, more fruity phrase for what I just said), it's CM Punk. He took Festus and gave us Luke Gallows. He managed to sit next to Michael Cole on commentary, and not just survive, but flourish. He took Darren Young and let him die because some birds just weren't meant to fly.

I fully expect Punk's alliance with Nexus to take the Punk/Cena feud to stupid-good heights. It's started off a bit slow with Punk being hurt, and with John Cena being a jackass. He's all over the map with his swearing and poop jokes and "now I'm inexplicably angry" voice - and by doing so, he's literally proving CM Punk right at every turn.

I'm pretty sure I called Cena out (not to his face, I would never do that in fear of THE POWER OF A THOUSAND SUNS RAININ' DOWN ON ME AND I WILL BE COMPRUHMISED) on his word being bullshit a while ago. Let's see if I can rustle that up:

"John Cena is a strange character. Going into a match, all he cares about is the WWE Title, the WWE Universe, the WWE, etc. It's the most important and most serious and most preacher-voice-worthy thing ever. He's our hero and will only settle for victory. Then the next night, after he loses, he jokes and plays it off and doesn't really care. He smiles and passes his loss off as nothing. How long can this go on before people are like "why should I believe that you care about something when you show time and time again that you don't?" Maybe I'm nitpicking, but the video package for Night of Champions had about twelve quotes from Cena saying THIS IS ALL I GOT!!! and then he lost but it doesn't matter." - Me, 09/21/10.

Anyway, I'm sure Punk will reach inside this one-part-goofy one-part-angry John Cena and pull out the same John Cena that Roddy Piper managed to one week before Survivor Series, and this feud will be epic. Until then, I'm just waiting for Cena to flub "CM Sucks" and say "Cena Sucks."

RAW VS. SMACKDOWN

SMACKDOWN SHINES, RAW DOES WHATEVER THE OPPOSITE OF SHINING IS

Photo - WWE.com

I was going to say sweat like some cheese you left out on the counter, but that was way too specific (even if it's kind of accurate).

Watching four hours of each show back to back makes this sentiment very clear: these are two HUGELY different wrestling shows. While RAW was fading countless backstage segments together, SmackDown was bringing the wrestling in fucking fistfuls. RAW seriously did this: -fade to- the Miz and Alex Riley arguing -fade to- CM Punk talking to a cameraman -fade to- Daniel Bryan, the Bellas and Tyson Kidd posturing -fade to- Randy Orton slow talking (he's got a David Caruso thing going right now) -fade to- commercial.

Meanwhile, SmackDown decided to have wrestling matches. Last week's show in particular was one of the best I've seen in recent memory. From Kofi's Intercontinental Title win(s) against Ziggler, to the 2 out of 3 Falls match between Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio, to the Fatal Fourway #1 Contender's match for the World Heavyweight Title (which featured Big Show ENTERTAINING ME FOR REAL), to even Edge vs. Kane in a Last Man Standing match, I was never not loving this show. The week before even had Trent Barretta jumping over the top rope to the outside like he's trying to put out an imaginary fire on his back - can this show do any wrong? Ever since they murdered Paul Bearer and let the wrestlers wrestle instead of rub food on each other, this show has been right back to where it's been in the past - golden.

RAW, on the other hand, has been less than golden. Maybe less than bronze. It's kind of just a waterlogged piece of driftwood right now. Aside from the Falls Count Anywhere match between John Morrison and The Miz, Miz cutting a scary real promo on the "WHAT" chanting crowd, and Shawn Michaels making a surprise appearance for his 2011 Hall of Fame announcement (and kicking Alberto Del Rio in the face so hard that I think in his time off he forgot that wrestling is fake)... what has there been? The answer is nothing. Or boring crap. I would have also accepted "stupid boring crap."

Having both Cena and Punk nursing injuries, and the fact that they're inexplicably demoting Daniel Bryan to "already in the ring" status for meaningless matches definitely does not help. But still, it's pretty bogus to see SmackDown own RAW in every conceivable way. Even the promo between Kingston, Ziggler and Swagger from two weeks ago was as good as any promo on RAW, and those guys aren't exactly known for their personalities.

MOVING ON

ROH ON HDNET

NO MORE?

Photo - Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

First it was taken from my precious YouTube. Now, right after I get HD (uh... but still not HDNet - but Jason Mann of WrestleSpective just got HDNet, so let's all feel his pain), the show gets dropped.

This is, in a (outdated) word, a bummer. I'm curious as to where ROH goes from here. Is anyone interested in putting their show on TV? Is ROH interested in being on TV (dumb question)? HDNet was definitely a great tool in promoting their iPPVs, if not through their actual show, then through the promos they were able to make and release online. Hopefully things bounce back and they're able to find a network that works well for them. If you're interested in hearing about this, you should check out today's episode of The Fight Show (literally airing as I type this) by searching for the podcast on iTunes. Until that goes up, you can check out these details from 411Mania.

THE CORE GROUP

TO TNA!

With every single one of these long-winded "since I've been gone" recaps, there's been more and more talk of the entire "core group" (Hardys, Helms, Moore, Kimo, etc.) showing up in TNA. And I think... seeing as I just witnessed Gregory Helms sign a contract on YouTube (the future is now!), my dreams are about to come true (unless if the contract was for somewhere else, but c'mon now). And just in time for me to DVR Impact and fast forward to whatever must-see, bonkers, accidentally-hilarious shit that these esteemed fellows come up with. Already Matt Hardy got dreadlocks and Jeff Hardy smoked a cigarette on the way to the ring at Genesis - I can't even begin to wonder what kind of Megazord of crazy that the core group will form when they get together.

Thank you, mythical wrestling gods, for answering my prayers. I only hope my DVR can process the lunacy that will inevitably come.

Welp, that's it. One more enormous return blog for you to read (or, more likely, scroll through and look at the pictures). Did I miss anything? If it's Matt Hardy related, it's okay, I think I got enough.

COMING SOON: 2010 IN REVIEW

I have already mentioned the first annual Brain Buster Awards (did you vote yet? GOGOGO), and you may have already seen WWE.com's day-by-day look back at 2010, but I will be doing my very own Year In Review in the coming days (second annual! suck it, Brain Busters! (I should keep in mind that I am a part of the Brain Busters)).

If you read my 2009 Year In Review, you've got a pretty good handle on what this year's will entail. I try to make it unlike any other year-end wrap-up out there, but not in any kind of controversial Eric Bischoff crappy way, but just in the fact that it won't be awards or lists or any of that stuff that's popular and people like to read, ah crap I'm already regretting this.

But seriously. I find it hard to make lists of any kind, so ranking an entire year's worth of events is a task I'm not up to. What I try and do is just look back on what I found the most interesting, entertaining, and memorable moments and people of the past twelve months. Here's how it'll go:

As I feel like it (it's a tight ship I run here), I'll toss up a post with a tag and a subject and just go with it. No countdowns or rankings or whatnot. Last year's tags were Moments, Stars, News, Feuds, Transformed, FML, Letdowns, Live, Videos, and Matches. Those will likely stay pretty similar, maybe with a couple added in.

I look forward to talking about probably the exact same things that everyone else will be talking about over the next couple of weeks. Sweet!

I'VE RETURNED AFTER A LONG ABSENCE - NO, I'M NOT WINNING THE RUMBLE

I'm just back! This seems to happen every few weeks, with me getting busier and busier with my job, which as I've mentioned before, requires me to travel quite a bit. In fact, I'll be off again over the holidays and into the new year, which may put my 2010 Year In Review in a bit of jeopardy - but I'm way too excited to let it go totally by the wayside.

But, if I do somehow let my year-end deal get cut short, there is a contingency plan (it's better than Edge's current master plan of dumping chicken wings on Paul Bearer then pinning himself at Survivor Series). It's the first annual Brain Buster Awards!

2010 BRAIN BUSTER AWARDS

BROUGHT TO YOU BY WRESTLESPECTIVE

Image - Jason Mann

The nominations were decided by the WrestleSpective (now Future Endeavours) Power Poll voters, which includes me, and my blogging Chris Jeri-bro (have we used that one?!?) TH of The Wrestling Blog, who I feel like I owe about 1,004 bro-altered nicknames after weeks of missing the Power Poll. Don't worry, bro. I'll get on that in bro time. No time. Whatever.

Back to the BRAIN BUSTAHHHH!!! Awards. You can vote right now by heading over to WrestleSpective and checking on the nominations. I've already sent in my votes, which I'll have a post up about soon - but first, let's get to what's gone down in the wonderful, wacky, don't-tell-my-dad-I-still-watch-it world of wrestling, since I've been gone.

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE

I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING

Photo - WWE.com

This is hopefully not going to be a monster of a post that Michael Cole puts over to win the Rumble, when you know that everyone's going to band together to throw it over the top rope, but this post will take a bit longer than usual as a lot has happened in the three weeks that I've been gone. Daniel Bryan got his own dressing room for god's sake! And he may have inherited Lance Storm's genitalia.

Either that or submissions are an aphrodisiac. Anyway, what else happened? I know something cool must've happened. What was it again? I remember it being pretty awesome. OH RIGHT

AWWWWWEEESOOOMMMMMMEE

THE MIZ CASHES THE F IN

Photo - Mike-Mizanin.org

The absolute hardest thing about following wrestling while on the road is avoiding spoilers. Because I can't watch anything live, everything has to be downloaded and watched later. Then, without fail, since all I do is watch and talk about wrestling all day everyday, I'll accidentally go to a site, or receive an email, or whatever, and something will get spoiled. Needless to say, Miz becoming WWE Champion was spoiled for me.

I can only imagine how much more awesome it would've been watching it without knowing what would happen. It didn't ruin it for me by any means, in fact it may have saved me from going into cardiac arrest at the prospect of him losing.

But let's take a step back for a second. I'm sure you've already asked yourself this, but did you ever think this guy...

Photo - TheMiz.net

Would EVER be WWE Champion? Even as recently as last year he was still pegged as the Jannetty to Morrison's HBK, what with his douchey gear and stupid face and everything else. But now he's the friggin' Shawn Michaels, and Morrison is the Jannetty, hanging out with R-Truth (the Leif Cassidy, I suppose? All of these comparisons are making my brain hurt).

With Miz as champion, A-Ri by his side, and Michael Cole taking RKOs like his face has magnetic properties that attracts it to the canvas, RAW's main event scene has had a Costco-sized injection of fresh air shot into it. Combine that with John Cena giving Nexus a hilarious taste of their own medicine (which I'll get to in a second), CM Punk on commentary and Bryan Danielson wrestling ANYBODY, and RAW has been more entertaining in the past two weeks than it has been in months.

And one quick thing on Michael Cole. He is giving the kinds of heel promos that Sheamus and Kane and Wade Barrett and every other heel on the roster who speaks at that exact same pacing and pausing that you can't help but tune out, wishes they could give. Last week on RAW he had the crowd frothing at the mouth just by acting like the little prick he is. I don't tune in to hear Cole commentate, but I sure as hell tune in to see him get beat the fuck up. Good. Friggin'. Job.

JOHN CENA IS FIRRRRRRREEEED

KIND OF

And I don't care. Leading up to Survivor Series, all I wanted was two things: one - for John Cena to make good on his promise, and beat the holy piss out of Wade Barrett, and two - for the stipulation, no matter the outcome, to be honoured.

Now, with Cena running around RAW, showing up even though he's fired, you'd think I'd be working myself up into big old smarky stink (I honestly thought I would be too!). But no. This is way better than Cena going away for a few months and coming back anyway, while Nexus wrestles Sheamus or something and creates a series matches entirely comprised of stomps and shoulder moves. I would like to see John Cena beating up a lip-biting David Otunga in his hotel room on repeat for the rest of my life than any amount of Nexus wandering around with nothing to do.

And really, as far as John Cena not beating the holy piss out of Wade Barrett at Survivor Series like he promised, they've just prolonged that, which will make for a great moment when it happens.

So give me John Cena smashing Justin Gabriel's haircut into a car window and winking into the camera, give me John Cena taking advantage of technicalities and bending real life laws, and I'll thank you for not giving me Nexus vs. anyone but John Cena.

THE CORE GROUP

REALLY RAISES IT'S STOCK

So Shane Helms rips on Shawn Michaels, a completely shmammered Jeff Hardy shoots on CM Punk, and Matt Hardy continues his crusade of fucking insanity. I wish I could just spend one night at BCR just to see the kinds of conversations these guys have. Oh wait, I already know!

I will start watching TNA the day that the Hardys, Helms, Shannon More and Kimo are a stable. I am more than positive that they'll create more segments of accidentally entertaining TV than the amount of taunts they do per second.

MVP RELEASED FROM WWE

BAWWWWWLIN

Photo - Online World of Wrestling

I hate on MVP a lot. But I will say that him teaming with Kaval was the coolest shit he's done since his real talk promos about getting out of jail. So it sucks that it seems like he was onto something cool before being released, but in all honesty, I'd had enough of his smiling, pointing, indiscriminate offense, slow-motion wrestling, stutter-step-run-to-the-ropes, and just about everything else for a while now. Hopefully this also means I'll stop having to see him crouch in rubble and point at himself every fifteen minutes too.

ROH FINAL BATTLE 2010

CARD GETS FLESHED OUT, SITE LAUNCHED

Visit the official ROH Final Battle 2010 minisite here

The feud that's been one year in the making (more if you count them teaming before then) is coming to a violent, bloody, emotional end in eight days. Kevin Steen and El Generico's Fight Without Honor at Final Battle may not be the main event of the card, but it's the match I believe that most people are invested in, what with the Mask vs. Career stipulation, and all of the incredible build up since last year's event.

In addition to that almost certain show-stealer, we've got Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong for the ROH World Title, The Kings of Wrestling with Shane Hagadorn taking on The Briscoes and their old man, Eddie Edwards vs. a returning Kenny Omega, legends Christopher Daniels and Homicide going at it, and a BLOCKBUSTER Women of Honor tag match in Daizee Haze & Awesome Kong teaming to face the "Queen of Wrestling" Sara Del Rey and Serena Deeb.

And there's still Colt Cabana vs. TJ Perkins, and The All Night Express (easily my favourite new tag team name of the year) vs. the tandem of Kyle O'Reilly and Adam Cole, who I saw for the first time in person a few weeks back at ROH in Toronto, and these guys know how to fucking BRING IT.

Do as I do and order Final Battle from Go Fight Live. No one knows how to hype a supercard like ROH, and likewise, no one knows how to deliver like them either.

Also, in one final ROH note, they have moved their Toronto date that was originally scheduled for April 30th, to the next weekend. Why? Maybe because the UFC will be debuting at the Rogers Centre, looking to obliterate their live attendance record by drawing over 50,000 people. Good move, ROH. Now I don't have to make an awkward decision (although to be fair, I'd still go for ROH).

OTHER THINGS HAPPENED TOO

FELLA

Photo - WWE.com

There's still a whole butt load of stuff that happened that I won't get to. Sheamus won King of the Ring (see absurd photo above), Tyson Kidd and DH Smith had a great match on Superstars (and Tyson debuted a new bodyguard on RAW that Brandon Stroud hilariously summed up here), there is dissension in Nexus, Survivor Series also happened (with a stellar Bryan/Dibiase match and a polarizing opening video - I was totally gay for it), Nick Dinsmore will be taping a match for ROH (can't wait to see him as anything but a retarded man), and TNA still exists I think.

But the last thing I want to get to is this:

EDGE VS. KANE

VS. ME

Photo - WWE.com

Just in time for the year end awards, this feud slid in to be the worst thing ever. Literally everything about this feud is excruciating to me. The promos; Kane weirdly passing himself off as a good person in that one promo; Paul Bearer's weird faces; Edge's master plan consisting off covering Paul Bearer in pizza and chicken wings, leaving him in a minivan, then trying to jump on Kane; Edge pinning himself at Survivor Series; the referee counting the pin, which I guess technically makes sense, but they seem to forget about all kinds of other rules, so why couldn't they have forgot this one?; seriously, Paul Bearer's weird faces.

But, the one saving grace of this feud, are the video packages. Not because they're good, but because they are hilarious on a level that even they couldn't possibly understand. If I were to just watch this feud in video packages, I'd be screaming for more, because it is fucking MENTAL.

That's pretty much it. So much can happen in three weeks of pro wrestling. But, obviously, so much more can happen in a year. Which means I'll be getting to my Year In Review any day now, so keep checking back for that. PEACE.

LISTEN TO ME ON WRESTLE SPECTIVE RADIO!

Last night, Jason Mann of WrestleSpective and myself recorded an interview for WrestleSpective Radio, and since he is ninja-fast, it's already online!

We talk about TONS of things, including how we each got into wrestling, why we're defending the new TNA title, 1997 WWF (and why I believe it's the greatest year in WWF history), how I'm on an ROH DVD cover and I slam Jeff Jarrett for no apparent reason at the end of it all! Sorry bud.

Definitely check it out, I had a blast doing it - thanks to Jason for having me as well.

In other WrestleSpective news, I've been missing out on the Power Poll for the last little while, but I should be back on track very soon.

So yeah. You can hear the interview here, and you can visit WrestleSpective here! Do those things.

OKAY, WHO CAN MAKE THE BEST JOKE ABOUT THE NEW TNA WORLD TITLE?

Is this real life?

Really.

I'm a little late to the joke-party, but this new belt seems to be the billionth punchline to the forever-running joke that is TNA.

New TNA World Title recipe:

1 part Divas Championship

1 part World of Warcraft commemorative plate

4 parts sheriff badges

Fold in Jeff Hardy's armbands, let simmer for IWC to make fun of

I'M BACK! IT FEELS LIKE I'VE BEEN AWAKENED FROM A COMA!

Nothing like that has happened in wrestling lately, has it? Nah, that'd be crazy!

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE

I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING

Photo - Stephanie McMahon's limbic system

Well, it's been a solid month, but I'm back. First thing I should probably get to - the WWE PPV Prediction Game. I totally dropped the ball on that one, not once, but twice. Travelling and keeping up with things like that are certainly not easy, but hopefully I'll have my shit in order for Survivor Series. If I don't, I give you permission to blind me with an urn that may or may not steal my soul and/or powers.

DANIEL BRYAN VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER

BRAGGING RIGHTS, RAW, SMACKDOWN

Photo - WWE.com

You don't need me to tell you how great this was several weeks after the fact, because you already know. Bryan Danielson is currently filling a Matt Hardy-sized void (he's still fat right? I've been gone for a while) in the WWE by putting on the kind of wrestling matches you don't see in this wrestling company. The kind of wrestling matches you see in this wrestling company have shoulder offense and David Otunga slow motion scoop slams. This match didn't have any of that! It had fans reacting and responding to legitimate wrestling moves and holds. For a match that had maybe a week of build, it tore the house down by telling a story in the ring.

I truly feel like this match will be the Dynamite Kid/Tiger Mask equivalent when we look back on this time and go "WOW, that was going on while I was watching John Cena sell an insult for three and a half minutes?!"

UNDERTAKER AND KANE

PUSHING THE LIMITS OF SANITY (UNTIL VINCE MCMAHON'S DREAM COMA ON RAW)

Photo - WWE.com

This feud bounced back and forth between being completely un-paul-bearable (lol?) to being legit viral video worthy. I can't tell if I loved it or hated it. The Paul Bearer promo that looked like it was edited by Tim Heidecker where he challenged Undertaker to a Buried Alive match was accidental comedy GOLD. But then all of the whiffed punches and punch-drunk selling that came in between the voodoo lightning bolts and arena-climbing took up so much time that I think I'll stick this in the "hated it" column. And that's hard for me to do, because so much of this was so camp and cheesy that it was fun to watch when you're blind drunk.

RING OF HONOR NEWS

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, FINAL BATTLE, TYLER/DAVEY

Incredible photo - Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

We're heading into yet another exciting couple of months for ROH, and I'll be seeing some of it live. I'll be hitting up both events next weekend - Survival of the Fittest in Michigan and the Daniels/Strong title match in Toronto, both of which I'm vibrating with anticipation for. Yep. Vibrating. I'll have some kind of preview up for those shows sometime soon.

While I was gone, a few awesome things happened, and one not so awesome thing happened. The not so awesome thing would be ROHBrazil's YouTube channel getting suspended. I was so psyched to throw on Tyler/Davey from a couple weeks ago and have a shouting match with my laptop (in excitement), but that didn't happen, DID IT?!

The awesome things, however, are these two badass hype videos. One is for the final encounter (or battle, I guess would be a better word) between Kevin Steen and El Generico at Final Battle - mask vs. career:

The other video is more of a music video. It's taken from Glory By Honor where the Kings of Wrestling had their theme music performed live by Cody B. Ware:

MATT HARDY RELEASED

CORE GROUP TO TNA?

Photo - MATTHARDYBRAND

There's nothing like leaving for a month and coming back to enough Matt Hardy YouTube videos to fill every pocket of your designer cargo pants. My personal favourite has to be this one, just for how it starts. I won't say how it starts since it caught me off guard and I spit up on my laptop in hysterics.

Now the question is, where does Matt go from here? Well, he wasted no time in telling us. After he assured us that he's doing great, he's better than ever. He's awesome. Never felt better - he's great guys! So great, so happy. So happy and great to be released - glad even! Guys, I'm fine. I love it. Fine guys. Never felt better, look at me. So happy. I'm fine. Fine. Great.

After he did that, he dropped some very subtle hints (watch carefully, you might miss the hints!) about where he may end up.

EDIT: I don't think I surveyed the situation properly to find my actual favourite Matt Hardy YouTube entry that went up while I was gone. Because I just watched this one. To quickly summarize, it begins with him in the shower and ends with him holding a gun over a bed full of money. And there's a giant broadsword. You're welcome.

ALSO THIS HAPPENED

HULK HOGAN RAPSTAR COMMERCIAL, FEATURING BROOKE HOGAN AND THE THING THAT MADE BROOKE HOGAN

Video courtesy of Kotaku - click image to watch

No, not Jimmy Hart - Hulk Hogan's genitalia! What a strange commercial. This, in addition to his "full-blown evil on your ass/draw money/start shootin'/fake ass wrestlin'" twitvid, and in addition to all of the insanity floating around TNA about concussions and brutal chairshots and "THEY" being these guys, goes to show that I haven't missed a thing in TNA in the last month. Business as usual.

That's definitely not all that happened this month. Smackdown! continued to produce the best mainstream wrestling show going, highlighted by a PPV-headlining-worthy main event contest between Alberto del Rio and Rey Mysterio. Evan Bourne and CM Punk were both injured, thus making RAW about 500% less watchable over the next few months. Lita ruined a game of diva-twister, Mark Henry revealed he needs to write "R" and "L" on each of his hands, Johnny Knoxville pulled some pranks, Undertaker was murdered and Freddie Prinze, Jr. is back with WWE as the resident medical doctor, specializing in Stephanie McMahon's fucked up dreams.

I love pro wrestling.