Tuesday, March 16, 2010

CATALOGING THE BRYAN DANIELSON MANLINESS METER

"AMERICAN DRAGON"

BRYAN DANIELSON

Photo - WWE.com


The Bryan Danielson Manliness Meter (BDMM) is a 1-10 scale that is inversely proportional to intelligence, and it is the only TRUE way to measure manliness. Placing your own initials in front of the MM will earn you negative points. Being Bryan Danielson will earn you more.


BDMM: 10

- No data


BDMM: 9

- No data


BDMM: 8

- Sleeping THROUGH AN EARTHQUAKE

- Choking on PROTEIN

- Training CATCH WRESTLING TAKEDOWNS with David Hart Smith

- The Seattle crowd for NXT, when Bryan made The Miz FLINCH

- Wacking the CRAP out of a TIRE with BROKEN RIBS

- Lifting weights, GRAPPLING, growing big and strong (maybe)

- Putting "I HEART SUBMISSIONS" on a T-SHIRT


BDMM: 7

- A heavy squat workout BEFORE 9AM

- Training Asparagus the Wonder Dog for the 2012 OLYMPICS

- Allowing MANLINESS to interrupt you from PACKING to move to VEGAS

- The song "Waitin' Around to Die" by Townes Van Zandt

- The song "DC Comics and Milkshakes" by Art Brut

- Eating a messy veggie burito WITH YOUR HANDS like a REAL MAN

- MONGOLIAN STEW

- Wrestling in Chicago after driving through a beautiful lightning storm

- Two hours of grappling training with one of the best grappling coaches in the world, Neil Melanson

- Two hours of grappling with Neil Melanson, followed by a trip to the GYM

- Reading about Economics because they are MANLY.


BDMM: 6

- Shaking a fist AT THE HEAVENS

- Looking forward to reading "Dreams From My Father" ON A PLANE

- Having friends that are the kind of friends who help you move

- The song "Ten Things" by Paul Baribeau

- The song "Oh Me, Oh Me" by Ghost Mice

- The song "Oxygen" by Willy Mason

- Sleeping a ton and waking up feeling REALLY good.

- Boarding a plane, about to read "Veronika Decides to Die"


BDMM: 5

- Sitting in first class reading a book

- Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer"

- "Trying" the internet and failing at computers

- Spicy dance-inducing Thai food

- Getting upgraded on a ten and a half hour flight to London

- Loving the song "Punk Is Dead" by Jeffrey Lewis

- Losing to Skip Sheffield, but winning at life!

- Reading with Kiefer Muffintop, putting homemade veggie burgers in the oven


BDMM: 4

- Perfect weather, good company

- Homemade vegan tacos

- Folk music

- Pink neck pillows

- Loving Charles Bukowski


BDMM: 3

- Going to bed at 8 p.m.

- Vegan pizza (this tells us that tacos > pizza, potentially because of their Lucha roots)

- Eating at Pasta Bar

- The song "Here's Lookin' At You Kid" by Gaslight Anthem

- Loving the song "Jorge Regula" by Moldy Peaches

- Loving the song "Underneath the Weeping Willow" by Grandaddy


BDMM: 2

- Reading a vegan cookbook in your hotel room at 8 in the morning

- The song "Dance, Dance, Dance" by Lykke Li

- Being so horribly sick that you're willing to trade winning matches for good health


BDMM: 1

- The song "Animal" by Ani DiFranco


BDMM: 0

- No data


BDMM: SYSTEM FAILURE

- No data

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