Friday, April 2, 2010

SMACKDOWN!: LIVE ONGOING REVIEW (4/2/10)



Little late getting this idea going, but after seeing the first half hour, I couldn't resist.

So, if you haven't already gathered...

SPOILERS
- Jack Swagger's win was amazing.

- Cryme Tyme breaking up was amazing.

- Jack Swagger backstage making everyone congratulate him was amazing. And his shot at Shelton made me almost cream in my jeans for a future match, or even my fantasy angle of Team Swagger coming to fruition (not getting my hopes up).

- Shad just goobered some sweat all over Josh Matthews' microphone.

- Holy fack I love Drew McIntyre's entrance. Does anyone else just picture him as Link if Link was a wrestler? Maybe Link wears Scottish Flag-undies under his tunic.

- So far we are getting Impact-like times on these matches.

- John Cena on Nickelodeon shows makes way too much sense.

- I love Swagger's celebration - just totally no-selling the win. Normally he's got a smile on his face the size of Michael Cole's boobs.

- This Shawn Michaels' video isn't going to make me cry, is it?

- It is.

- HAHA. Oh man. Michelle McCool and Layla applauding Swagger made me lofl all over the place. BAHA the cheek-kiss was priceless. I am loving Swagger.

- Reading my HAHAs back sounds retarded.

- Dolph as a giant-killer is pretty funny. He looks completely insane whenever he puts on that sleeper - one of the most fun guys to watch just for his facial expressions. And all of the times he goes "NOPE!!!"

- Kids must be hating this show so far - Swagger wins, McIntyre squashes Hardy before the match starts, Dolph owns Khali with a sleeper, and now Khali is going home :( AND NOW CM PUNK

And now an update from Shad, courtesy of Twitter:

@Shadbeast
MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!! MY TYME!!!!

Thanks Shad. Now back to Smackdown.

- Punk gets heat just for holding a microphone.

- Holy fucking lord, Punk looking into the camera after Serena saying "If you would just look into his BEAUTIFUL eyes" was CREEPY AS ALL HELL. I feel like I just accepted Punk in to my life via TV rape.

- Oh yes. That promo was so goddamn good. Punk sacrificing his hair to goad Rey into one more match because he CARES so much about him makes me want to hug whoever is responsible for this feud.

- Has there a been a time where there were as many great heels as right now? Or just recently even? Jericho, Swagger, Punk, Batista, ShoMiz, even Michelle McCool and Layla get more heat from marks and smarks alike than any diva in recent memory that comes to mind. Maybe WM22-era Mickie James.

- Tiffany walks weird.

- Haha. Striker admits the way he called Beth Phoenix hot was creepy. Agreed, you fucking CREEP.

- Layla bumps as hard as Davey Richards.

- I'm super curious as to what will happen with Jericho/Swagger/Edge.

- That Hart Dynasty promo was good. (I don't have the gene that lets me hate on anyone associated with the Hart family).

- Kane's bored. Me too Kane! At least you got new pants.

- Kane vs. NXT Roster. Daniel Bryan with MMA Elbows for the victory plz.

- Glad to see this hasn't just been a chokeslam factory so far.

- Skip Sheffield definitely looks like he might have an extra chromosome or seven. yipyip yipyuipiu wutitdo!!@e3erf3

- Kane took quite a beating. Otunga did nothing but somehow was on camera more than anyone else.

- Did You Know That: Photos of the Undertaker/Shawn Michaels match at WrestleMania have already been jerked off to over 16 million times?

- I have an unshakeable fear that Jack Swagger is going to lose the title next week or something. He always seems to have these "one week hot one week cold" angles going. "I'll be undefeated until next year!" - loses next match, etc.

- This Title address is gold. That man in the fedora just booed in the gayest manner I've ever seen. I'm sorry if I offended anyone who wears fedoras.

- It's like a grade eight speech! This is AWESOME. People are hating the shit out of this. What a pompous jackass. Oh fuck, Shawn Michaels namedrop.

- Jericho is killing it (no one is surprised). "Give it to me. Okay give it to me."

- Teddy Long get out here and solve this problem!!!!

- Nice. Jericho/Edge next week to see who faces Swagger. Perfect. See you next week and the week after that, Smackdown.

- I am fucking SHOCKED at how hard Swagger is being put over. This is insanity. It's like no one in creative actually watched his ECW Title run, then saw it for the first time on Tuesday and were like "oh fuck what have we been doing" and put Swagger over like he's the most powerful man since John Cena piled Legacy on his shoulders in one of those "hope my dad doesn't walk in on me watching this" moments.

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