Sunday, March 7, 2010


Updated graphic courtesy of Mike (HumbleEmpire)

Tomorrow night TNA will throw the first second punch in the sequel to the Monday Night Wars of the 90's, that will pit David (TNA Impact) vs. Goliath (WWE RAW). Unless if there is someone even larger and more vicious than Goliath. So maybe some kind of Goliath/Godzilla/Triple H hybrid that Pedigrees people off of buildings. And David will only fight once every two weeks. Pussy.

And instead of it just being David vs. Triple Godliath, David called up everyone he knows that is fat and old, thinking for SURE that they will help him conquer this evil beast. And if those guys don't get the job done, he's got a bunch more SURPRISE old guys that he'll unleash on the beast.

Because that's all it takes to beat a giant, unstoppable beast! OLD GUYS!

David must still be reeling from his last battle.


This has spiralled out of control. All I meant to ask was, how will you be watching wrestling this Monday night?

I ask how instead of what, because my guess is that if you're watching wrestling tomorrow, you won't be watching just one show. It used to be that way, but it just isn't anymore.

Will you DVR Impact, watch RAW live, then watch Impact?

Or will you DVR RAW, watch Impact live, then watch RAW?

Or will you watch both live by some combination of TVs or Justin TV streams, switching the audio back and forth?

Or will you watch one and flip during commercials to try and recreate the feeling of the original Monday Night Wars?

Or will you watch ROH On HDNet and go to bed? (This is the best option for those who are not under the Thursday Raw Thursday spell)

The last time this chaos went down (Jan. 4th) I admitted to being more genuinely entertained by Impact than RAW. I put aside any thoughts of "what's good for business (because honestly, how often can you watch a show, analyze it, and THEN decide how much you enjoyed it based on what you analyzed?)", and had a hell of a lot more fun watching the insanity that was Impact, AND the fun wrestling had by the Knockout Tag Champs, and of course, AJ and Kurt.

This time around could be a hell of a lot different. But at the same time, I could just bust a gut laughing at Hogan/Abyss vs. AJ/Flair and enjoy that more than whatever RAW puts together.

But I'm willing to bet I'm more into RAW, come Monday. With WrestleMania XXVI shaping up to continue the "every-other-year" trend of WM's (25 = crap, 24 = awesome, 23 = crap, 22 = awesome, 21 = crap, 20 = awesome (essentially)), I think there will be some good stuff to build to the biggest show of the year. Plus Criss Angel will freak our minds!

No matter what order you watch it in, you will see some of these things, according to the company's respective websites:

With your guest host... Criss Angel MINDFREAAAAK!
- John Cena vs. Vince McMahon
- Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes

- Triple H invades Sheamus' home
- Batista chuckles at John Cena
- MITB qualifier

Won't Happen
- Daniel Bryan taps the Undertaker to set up HBK/Danielson.

- Hulk Hogan & Abyss vs. AJ Styles & Ric Flair
- Sting will appear, apparently
- Surprises (surprises being announced beforehand is FUCKING hilarious)

- Rob Van Dam
- Jeff Hardy drives his car
- Shannon Moore hangs out with Jeff Hardy

Won't Happen
- The Nasty Boys apologize to everyone

Non-Spoiler Match Listing
- Claudio Castagnoli vs. Andy "Right Leg" Ridge
- Quarter Final TV Title Tournament: Kevin Steen vs. Rhett Titus
- Kings of Wrestling vs. Bravado Brothers
- Rasche Brown vs. Caleb Kay
- Quarter Final TV Title Tournament: Kenny King vs. El Generico

These live Monday nights of wrestling are turning into bi-weekly events that I am getting more and more excited for. I hope it stays that way.

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