Showing posts with label nxt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nxt. Show all posts

Saturday, December 18, 2010

LETDOWNS 2010: THE NEXUS AS "RENEGADES"

Monday, June 7th, 2010. The craziest FUCKING thing the WWE has done in years happened. This:


After two solid years of PG programming lacking any kind of edge or true realism (save for the epic Jericho/Michaels, which happened pretty much right smack dab in the middle of the big switch to PG), the Nexus was born in the realest angle of all time. Or so it felt. Between Triple H's over dramatized home invasion/hunt for Randy Orton, and countless John Cena comedy feuds, it felt like we hadn't seen anything "real" in a long time.

And in came the Nexus. Wade Barrett and the seven other NXT Season One rookies eerily appeared, one by one, at ringside on RAW that fateful night. What followed was one of the most intense attack angles in WWE history. They took out everyone. Wrestlers, announcers, security, staff, you name it. They tore up the set, broke down the ring - and the glorious soundtrack to it all was the silence from the announcers' headsets and the shrieks from the crowd.

What made it especially terrifying (I was scared, okay? I peed a little. Alright, a lot.) was that these were familiar faces. We just watched weeks of these goofs flipping their hair and hanging out with Matt Hardy and trying to get terrible catchphrases over on NXT. But that night they were different. They were scary. Why were they so crazy?! What happened to the hair flipping?! It was like a creepy alternate universe for one night only.

Yep. One night. Because in the weeks and months that followed, we didn't get this scary, show-destroying "renegade" group. We got something different.

Like David Otunga singing on the George Lopez Show.


Or tweets from the Nexus Twitter about all the sweet deals we can get!


Or countless sitcom-like backstage segments where the Nexus talked and emoted like the cameras weren't there. I can't take David Otunga's lip-biting anymore. What the FUCK happened?

I will concede that sure, maybe it wasn't possible to give Nexus that same presence they initially had for an entire year. But did they have to get WWE brand t-shirts and theme music and a titantronand a catchphrase so quickly? Not to mention the fact that they went back to just the same old beatdowns that every other heel does in the company.

It's just such a change from how they debuted. I wish there was a way for them to truly commit to their characters. The Nexus could've been true renegades, and it would've been awesome. It seems like they tried at first. Even the second beatdown they did felt crazier than normal, run of the mill WWE beatdowns. And there was a rumour that they were told to not give autographs to fans and stuff - that's good enough for me! Just stick with that! But no, they had to get their stupid fucking theme music and lose everything that was ever special about them.

The John Cena/Nexus feud had some of the most memorable and goosebump-worthy moments of the year for me. But the feud also asked you to look the other way on so many small, logical details. I feel like if the Nexus were treated as true renegades, and kept as scary and unpredictable as they were that first night, it would've been a lot easier to overlook John Cena reading a novelty-sized scroll and the fact that the GM would ever legitimately agree to allowing Wade Barrett try and force John Cena to cheat for him or else he gets fired - think about that, that makes no sense.

Sure, the stipulation is that John Cena has to do what Wade Barrett says, get him water, raise his hand in the dressing room to make him feel good, whatever. But once it's "help me cheat to beat Randy Orton for the title" shouldn't the GM be like "uh, no, because that's breaking the rules and I'm the GM and won't allow that, or at the very least I won't fire John Cena for not helping you break the rules." I get that they wanted to put John Cena in a situation where he had to make a tough decision, and it's admirable that they wanted to do anything with him that wasn't about John Cena rising up and toppling insurmountable odds (it sure made for some epic video packages and fan reactions), but there was some definite plotholes that were hard to ignore once you thought of them.

WOW I've gone on forever about this. The Cena/Nexus feud wasn't even supposed to be the main focus of this post. This is about the Nexus as "renegades" and that's it.

Anyway, I'm going to cap this off with an excerpt from one of my own RAW reviews from earlier this year, where I think I summed up what I'm feeling right now better than I just did:

I still feel like it would make sense to call the Nexus a renegade group if they didn't have their own graphics and t-shirts and titantron videos and shitty music shit. If they're going to be a renegade group, keep them that way. Make it truly seem like they don't belong. Don't create Nexus brand crap. Have them come out to complete silence. Think about logic and believability before you think about selling a fucking t-shirt. Maybe when you do that, you'll sell more everything everywhere. Instead of just being like "WELP HE NEEDS A T-SHIRT" because everyone has one, think about the fact that these guys are called (by YOUR announcers!) a RENEGADE GROUP. Not a PRETEND RENEGADE GROUP JUST KIDDING GIVE US YOUR MONEY.

And I won't even accept the idea that it makes sense because they can sell the shirt to those smarks who oppose Cena and stuff, because it's not like that at all. That idea made sense for when Miz had his anti-Cena shirt. Then you sell that shirt to the anti-Cena smarks and you sell the Cena shirt to the Cena marks and everyone in the world has a WWE shirt. This needs to be kept as a "hey, these guys are fucking with our shit and we can't get rid of them and they're the scariest group ever created" not "hey these guys are fucking with our shit let's make them some t-shirts."

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

THE BIPOLAR MICHAEL COLE

What has happened to this man?

Photo courtesy of this guy's website

Has it been the years and years of verbal and physical abuse from both fans and wrestlers? Or the years and years of witnessing baffling events unfold before his very eyes? Maybe it's all of the telekinetic mental vibes of rage I sent him whenever he replaced JR on RAW when I was twelve (I sent a lot of rage vibes). Whatever it is, Michael Cole has officially gone postal.

And I don't even mean just in kayfabe. Sure, he's lost his marbles on NXT - but that's the most entertaining thing he's done in his entire career. I'm more talking about the two sides of his ever-evolving character.

How can the same guy absolutely derail one show and make another show completely unmissable? Not only that, but how can he do that by bouncing back and forth between heel and babyface behaviour? I don't know, but Michael Cole is doing it.

On NXT, he is a complete and utter genius. He's quick, clever and actually biting with his commentary. All of this started with his burial of Daniel Bryan on the first season of the show, that gave that entire season a level of emotion that wouldn't have been there without him. But on RAW, flip on that bipolar switch because Cole is a mess. He's confusing, constantly babbling and inconsistent. There seems to be no rhyme or reason as to who he hates, likes or gives a shit about, and his commentary detracts from matches more than it adds.

With NXT, Cole's direction is clear. He began as the regular old company man he is, getting his back up when everybody starts talking about an "internet darling," a man who's made his name on the independent scene. This of course makes sense, because Michael Cole will defend the WWE to it's death, and this Daniel Bryan guy hasn't done squat until he does it in the WWE. Now, after being subject to another season featuring an "internet darling" in season two, Cole is watching the third season of NXT flush down the toilet, and he snaps. It all makes sense.

What doesn't make sense is the guy that we see on Monday nights. Cole is forced to continue this same character on a show that requires him to do more than just hate on everything. He needs to promote RAW, it's wrestlers and the WWE in general. But now he's also weaving in this character that buries the Hart Dynasty, hates "What's Up?!" but still gets behind John Cena and Randy Orton.

There is serious conflict in the 2010 Michael Cole - both in the quality of commentary he produces, and conflict within the character himself. Something needs to be done. I don't know what that is.

What I do know is that the little bit we got to see of Michael Cole in a feud all on his own was certainly special. The way he cut down Daniel Bryan ("because losers have no HEART!") was stellar. So if we were to see Cole as a manager (or even just hanging out with Miz and Alex Riley), it would be phenomenal. It would cure us of the seriously frustrating commentary on RAW, and would give us a character that the WWE Universe is already conditioned to hate. Whether there is someone ready to take his place at the announce table on Mondays is a whole other question, but if Cole were to step out to really embrace this new, outspoken character, I think we'd have something far better than what he's doing on RAW right now.

Maybe, to go full heel, he'll go back to the frosted tips and round goatee.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

BELATED 09/06/10 RAW THOUGHTS + OTHER NOTES

Welp, I've managed to pry my 360 controller out of my own hands, uncross my eyes, and take a few minutes away from NHL 11 to give some desperately needed attention to my blog. But then it's back to you, precious Xbox!

To quote Patton Oswalt, "my geekiness is getting in the way of my nerdiness." Here we go, fellas and fellettes (note to self: don't attempt to coin "fellettes"):

MONDAY NIGHT RAW 09/06/10
A BELATED (AND TRUNCATED) REVIEW
Photo - WWE.com

There wasn't too much to say about RAW last night, so I decided to keep it short (although I've been known to branch off into a foaming incoherent rant before).

The biggest thing that sticks out in my mind about last night's show is the promo battle between The Miz and Daniel Bryan. Normally this is where I'd go on to describe how awesome Miz was on the mic (as usual), but that isn't the case. And it makes me feel weird. Because somehow, Bryan Danielson came out on top in that back-and-forth.

I really liked Miz's career retrospective and the entire premise behind the promo (get heat so Danielson can come in and promise to shut Miz up at Night of Champions), but Miz had some really uncharacteristic flubs and stutters and jumbled lines that brought things down. It was totally unlike him and that's what made it so weird. Had this been a David Otunga or Melina promo, it would've been STELLAR, because they suck. But because Miz has been so consistently flawless on the mic, a stumble or two brings things to a halt.

It's okay. Everybody gets one.

Other than that, not too much to write about. John Cena almost broke Justin Gabriel's neck out of his neck after slipping on the second rope as he delivered a SUPER Attitude Adjustment. That would've put a damper his "smirk-while-I-chain-wrestle-you-and-teach-you-a-thing-or-two, kid" schtick at the start of the match. Bryan's domination of Miz and Alex Riley was cool, Randy Orton's five (five? twelve? I don't know) RKO's to close the show was just sheer chaos, and Edge talking to the all-knowing omnipresent General Manager was hilarious. And bonus points to Michael Cole for calling out Great Khali's DOIIII move of eliminating himself from the Over the Top Rope Challenge, and Mike Chioda not making the call. Pretty strange WCW 2000 stuff right there.

WWE NXT DIVA ALOISA
"FIRED" AFTER EROTIC PHOTOS DISCOVERED

Just thought I'd throw my two cents in, even though they're pretty much identical to everyone else's: Why the FUCK would you hire and promote this person and then be like, "durr, did anyone check if this mythical creature did any freak porn?"

ROH GLORY BY HONOR IX
THIS SATURDAY

I'll be doing some kind of preview/write-up/fanboy gushing over this iPPV sometime in the next day or two, especially since the card seems to be fully fleshed out. And someone on the ROH board fantasy-booked the best ending to the Tyler/Roddy title match that could possibly happen (and not just be an EWR nerd-out of some kind), and that got me excited.

But seriously. If you're reading this right now and aren't planning to order the show, I officially disown you.

PIZZABODYSLAM NEWS!
RECURRING FEATURES

And lastly, I've just had a few new ideas for more recurring posts that are getting me fired up like Brent Albright off a hot tag. I don't know if you like the idea of recurring features, or don't really care, but if you're feeling particularly social, hit up the comments and let me know what you do or don't like.

But for now, I'm going to watch Teen Mom and curse the girl who let her baby fall off the bed. G'night.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

SO LONG, SUMMER: THE TOP TEN WRESTLING MOMENTS FROM JUNE TO AUGUST

Welp, September 1st is here and Summer has come and gone like faster than Eric Escobar. But hey, there was some great stuff from this Summer (unlike Eric Escobar). While I know I probably missed some smaller things/things I haven't seen yet (PWG: Seven, for example), here are my top ten favourite moments from the past three months:

NUMBER TEN
CODY RHODES BECOMES DASHING
Photo - WWE.com

You too can be... Dashing
Incredible what one little word can do for a guy. Well, one word, a digital mirror, a mirrored jacket, a handful of hilarious vignettes, the world's catchiest Eddie Money/Def Leppard/any other 80's rock ripoff theme, and the ability to cut an amazing promo helps too. This is my favourite WWE gimmick shake-up in a long time. Cody Rhodes kills it in every aspect and he should be on the fast track to the Intercontinental Title, and not being dragged down by Drew McIntyre's stupid boring self.

NUMBER NINE
KINGS OF WRESTLING VS. WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM ANNOUNCED

ROH Glory By Honor IX: Sept. 11th, 2010 - New York, NY
Just the sheer announcement of this match has perked up the ears of those who haven't been following ROH since the glory days of 05/06. How awesome is that? I've been hoping for Team Angle in ROH since Charlie Haas planted that seed in my brain, and now it's a reality. With the Kings of Wrestling continuously claiming to be wrestling's greatest tag team, and Haas and Benjamin going by that very moniker, there is a TON of hype around this match that writes itself. And I believe it will deliver (shocking!).

NUMBER EIGHT
MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS VS. BEER MONEY

The Whole F'n Show: Match 5 of the Best of 5 TNA World Tag Team Championship Series - Orlando, FL
I don't mention TNA very often on here. Because I value my mental health and don't watch TNA. But, I was intrigued by the Whole F'n Show concept, considering that the ads for the show said everything they could say without outright saying "no Orlando Jordan cumshots this time! we promise! plz watch." This match seemed to only have one gear, and that gear is called "the running as fast as you can hitting insane double team moves without fucking up gear." Fantastic match. I can only hope TNA continues to showcase they're "homegrown" stars like these two teams in order to present a true alternative to WWE on cable TV.

NUMBER SEVEN
THE RISE OF THE MIZ

... has been AWESOME!
And you know it, and everybody KNOWS IT (sorry I just love that clip). US Title. Money In The Bank. He is NOT the Jannetty. The Miz can't be stopped on the mic. Nobody can touch him. Maybe CM Punk can, but he's been proving that for yeeeeaaars. It's been a thing of beauty to see the Miz prove he can ride without the training wheels of a tag team partner. He is doing nothing but improving with every single match, promo, appearance, whatever. And I want to throw this out there - a lot of people are expecting him to a) cash-in and fail or b) cash-in and win as a heel. Do you think it's possible that the Miz holds onto this briefcase until next summer when he's full-blown face... and then cashes in? He's getting some hot reactions and people are starting to realize his potential. It can't be long until we see the Miz in a Chris Jericho make-fun-of-the-heels babyface role.

NUMBER SIX
THE INDIES INVADE THE WWE
Photo - WWE.com

Vanilla midgets are everywhere, you guys!
Low Ki wins NXT. Bryan Danielson main events SummerSlam. Matt Sydal teams with John Cena. ROH World Champion Tyler Black signed to a contract. CM Punk is a three time WWE World Champion. And now Alex Koslov has been signed, BxB Hulk, CIMA and Naruki Doi have been given tryouts, and William Regal is praising Chris Hero and the Kings of Wrestling on Twitter. Never before have the Indies had such high profile attention - especially when you consider all of the Indy dates Danielson did in the period of his firing from the WWE. Would anyone have thought all of this would happen so quickly just a few short years ago? We are entering the era of the vanilla midget, and I use that term with the fondest of affection. Let the days of the smaller wrestler BEGIN!

NUMBER FIVE

CHRIS JERICHO VS. EVAN BOURNE

WWE Fatal 4-Way - Uniondale, NY
I don't know if it was because this match was not advertised or what, but I popped HUGE for this entire thing. This match stole the entire PPV and sold it on the streets. Nearly fifteen minutes of fantastic professional wrestling (and maybe the first bridging German suplex since WWE went PG) with Bourne going over Jericho clean? Yes please! The only thing holding this match back was the WWE smarks (there is such a thing - I will address this in my future Mark-Scale post, potentially based on the Kinsey Scale) were so behind Jericho that it made Bourne's win a little less awesome.

NUMBER FOUR
SSPRKO

Randy Orton & Evan Bourne on RAW
It doesn't take a write-up from me to tell you how awesome this was. Just watch the crowd react like a bench of NBA players when Shannon Brown blocks the shit out of someone.

NUMBER THREE
NXT INVADES THE WWE
Photo - WWE.com

And begins the feud of the Summer...
This angle was accidentally spoiled for me by my girlfriend, although it's not her fault - the angle was just that damn good. I was away, and had to watch the show downloaded the next day. The day after RAW, before I watched the show, my girlfriend texted me asking if John Cena getting stretched out was real or fake. I was of course like "WTF SPOILERS SHIT GODDAMNIT" and she then just explained what happened because of her real concern. I was still taken back when I watched the angle unfold, even though I knew what was going to happen, because it was one of the best executed things the WWE have pulled off in YEARS. It was so good that they fired Bryan Danielson for it in the heat of the moment (I fully believe that when the guys got to the back, Vince McMahon was so fired up that he was just like "OH HELL YEAH THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT YOU'RE FIRRRRRED WHOOO!!" because it's his catchphrase and everyone just believed him).

NUMBER TWO
TYLER BLACK VS. DAVEY RICHARDS

ROH World Championship - Death Before Dishonor VIII, Toronto, ON
No other one-on-one match this Summer has had this kind of heat behind it. The Toronto crowd were 99.9% behind Davey and violently against Tyler. Not only that, but the match itself was simply brilliant. I had no idea who was going to win this match, and after it was done, it really didn't matter. Two of wrestling's best athletes, best performers and best wrestlers put it all out there in front of a roaring hot crowd and tore the house down (this is starting to sound like a Tyler Black promo). It was my favourite match of the Summer, and maybe even the year. But why doesn't it get number one?

NUMBER ONE
DANIEL BRYAN RETURNS

And completes the greatest story of the Summer...
When Danielson was fired, I, like every other ROH fanboy/IWC smark, was more livid than 100 Triple H's morphed together, to form about three hundred H's, I s'pose. I thought that maybe one day he'd be back, but I wasn't even sure I wanted him to come back, considering the way he'd gone. Steve damn near boycotted the WWE for three months. It was devastating. It put the sourest of sour tastes in your mouth. I didn't want to believe it. And then, come the main event of SummerSlam, they turned it all around. Everyone was expecting Triple H. Some thought maybe it'd just be the Miz. But no. The "American Dragon" was the seventh and final member to Team WWE, and it all made sense. Sure, it wasn't a work from the beginning, but that isn't the point. The point is they gave Bryan Danielson the shot he deserved after being thrown out as a scapegoat on a flimsy-ass bullshit policy. And they kept it all a secret at the same time too.

So that was pro-wrestling for me, this past Summer. What did I miss? Anyone agree/disagree? Let your voice be heard. But last, and certainly not least - my honourable mention:

HONOURABLE MENTION
MICHAEL COLE PICTURED OUTDOORS

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

CODY RHODES KILLS IT AT THE END OF NXT (08/17/10)

Excuse me... "Dashing" Cody Rhodes.

Now if you're in Canada (like me) and don't want NXT, which airs on Thursday, to be spoiled for you (unlike me), then don't read past this picture of Cody Rhodes:

YOU TOO
CAN BE DASHING

After Husky Harris was eliminated (along with Percy Watson earlier in the night), Cody Rhodes went absolutely postal on the mic. This entire segment has a sense of "I don't know if they know what's going on" and I like it. Cody is proving over and over why he's the breakout star of NXT Legacy, and that he totally deserves his big push on Smackdown (squeaky clean victories over Christian and Matt Hardy in consecutive weeks).

His facial expressions in the ring are so good. Last week on SD! when Cody was avoiding shots to the face all match from Christian, until he was finally stung with a slap - he looked like he wretched into his own mouth. But then when he won, it was a look of relief and conceit and pride all wrapped up into one dashing smile. Take a look for yourself (and watch all the way to the pinfall).

And, as for the video from NXT, you can check it out here at CodyRhodes.net.

Before I go, I want to mention how much I think this class of rookies is better than the first NXT group. Wade Barrett and Bryan Danielson were truly the only standouts on that show. But I see more in Alex Riley, Kaval (no duh), Michael McGuillicutty (ugh, that name), Husky Harris and even Percy Watson than I do in Otunga, Tarver, Young, Slater, Sheffield and Gabriel.

Eli Cottonwood, however, makes me wretch into my own mouth.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

DRAGON: THE BRYAN DANIELSON STORY

I throw out a lot of hyperbole on this blog. Pretty much everything I talk about is either the worst thing I've ever seen since the dawn of man or the greatest thing that ever lived. But I will go on record and say that this is the BEST VIDEO IN THE WORLD (Best in the world! Best in the world!).

All kidding aside, this near nine minute tribute to Bryan Danielson, as edited together by YouTube user th3rdMV (real name Billy Bodin), gave me goosebumps through the entire goddamn touching thing. Damn you Billy, for making a grown man cry.

This is a call to arms. If you are a Bryan Danielson fan, a Ring of Honor fan, or just a fan of good pro wrestling, spread this video. Spread it as far as the Internet will allow. Tell your friends. Tell some strangers. Scream the url from a mountaintop while holding a stereo that blares the Final Countdown.

I hope I didn't hype this too much. Don't let me phase you. It's just a good video. Here:

DRAGON
THE BRYAN DANIELSON STORY
Credit: Billy Bodin (TheMVZone.com)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

FUCKING UP THE FAMILY NAME

Being a guy who travels for a living definitely makes it hard to keep up with blog posts. But here is one that I rattled off in the van the other day, since I just watched the premiere episode of NXT Season Two (and saw episode two yesterday).

Another quick disclaimer: I've yet to watch Fatal 4-Way, so results and junk from the prediction game will most likely go up tomorrow/next day or something. Once I get home I'll be right back on track for consistent posts - honest! Anyway, on with the show:

NXT ROOKIE
MICHAEL MCGUILLICUTTY
Photo - WWE.com

While season two of NXT kicked off with a loud, rotten fart of an excuse for an episode, the thing that maybe bothers me the most is the new name that Joe Hennig has. I truly don't understand that logic behind changing a guy's name when his gimmick is based entirely on the names of his father and grandfather.


Why Michael McGuillicutty? That is literally as if Stone Cold Steve Austin had a son who then came into the WWE and was like "my name is Geopphrey Jahosephatts!"


So here are some fake names I propose for the fake children of second and third generation wrestlers:


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE MAIVIA FAMILY NAME

Photo - WWE.com


PETER MAIVIA


And his son in law...

ROCKY JOHNSON


And his son...

ROCKY MAIVIA


And his son...

TAD GLENNINGSMAN


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE ORTON FAMILY NAME


BOB ORTON SR.


And his son...

BOB ORTON JR.


And his son...

RANDY ORTON


And his son...

SHEMP JONAS-DERP


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE STEAMBOAT FAMILY NAME


RICKY STEAMBOAT


And his son...

RICHIE STEAMBOAT


And his son...

DESHAWN FEINSTEIN


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE DIBIASE FAMILY NAME


"IRON" MIKE DIBIASE


And his adopted son...

TED DIBIASE SR.


And his son...

TED DIBIASE JR.


And his son...

CHUD LIMPLE


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE HART FAMILY NAME


STU HART


And his son...

BRET HART


And his son...

DILDO RICKLES


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE LEVESQUE FAMILY NAME


TRIPLE H & STEPHANIE MCMAHON-LEVESQUE


And their daughter...

AURORA ROSE LEVESQUE


And her demon spawn...

ZUUL


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE COLE FAMILY NAME

Photo - LavaLife.com


MICHAEL COLE


And his son...

N/A (NO SEX)