ROYAL RUMBLE REVIEW A GUIDE TO THE NEW BIZARRE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA

THE OLD

ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA

January: Outlast 29 other men and win the Royal Rumble Match!

February: Train, prepare and become the best wrestler you can be to face your ultimate rival at WrestleMania!

March/April: Face the World Champion in the main event of WrestleMania!

THE NEW

ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA

July: Suffer a debilitating injury that is SURE to put you out of action until after WrestleMania!

Remainder of year: No mention of you.

January: SHOCK THE WORLD and return from your career-threatening injury to win the Royal Rumble Match in it's final minutes!

February: Train, prepare and become the best wrestler you can be to decide what World Champion (because there's TWO champions of the entire world now) you want to face at WrestleMania! Unless he loses in the Elimination Chamber match. Or you win the Title in one of the two Elimination Chamber matches. I mean, you'll still get your shot at WrestleMania. That's sweet and stuff. But there will be about ten other guys getting a shot at No Way Out Elimination Chamber. But you'll get your shot! Honest! And go on to face your ultimate rival at WrestleMania! Or maybe another guy might be thrown in!

March/April: Face the World Champion (or YOU might be the champ already!) in the main event of WrestleMania! Actually, well it might be the second to last match. Or sometimes a Divas match might go after you. It's really a crapshoot. But it's like a main event because you're wrestling sports entertaining ACTION ENTERTAINING for the title (or you ALREADY HAVE it)!

You know what, you might just be better off begging Vince McMahon the general manager the cast of Degrassi Junior High or Fred Savage or whoever the FUCK is in charge of putting together World Title matches this week, to give you a shot. Because they will. They have that power. Just mention whatever new feature film DVD straight-to-DVD straight-to-download movie they have coming out, and I'm sure they'll be happy to oblige give you your title shot tag with you and ruin wrestling for me!

55 days guys!