Sunday, February 21, 2010


I remember reading these a few years ago, and had to randomly search until I found them on some forum. They are pure gold. Here are some of my favourites (Just a warning - there is a whole mess of these quotes, so this will run long. I can't stop laughing at these):

" ran a contest involving Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. I'm actually not sure what the contest was for. Anyway, we got numerous reports from people who said that if you vote for Flair, the total number for Hogan automatically increases by five." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: Februaru 28, 1999.

"Oklahoma then threw BBQ sauce in Madusa's eyes to set up Madusa vs. Oklahama in a feud over the cruiserweight title" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 10, 2000.

"It wasn't Bret Hart driving the monster truck nor was Sid in the car that was being run over, although both were the original plan. Hart was told what part of the car to drive over and where Sid would be in the car so as to not drive over him. Hart refused saying he wasn't an experienced stunt driver. There was no problem with his decision and he was apologized to for being asked" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 10, 2000.

"The crowd didn't care about this program and the stretcher aspect of the match was preposterous. Daffney did a hurricanrana and her blue wig flew off in the process. At one point they put David (Flair) on a stretcher and he was halfway to the back. He got off the stretcher, totally revived, and didn't sell it like he'd even been beaten. Finally they taped David to the stretcher and had to sell that David couldn't get off with this athletic tape that wasn't even holding. The bell rang for no reason. Crowbar got carried off in a stretcher with that ridiculous tape. The funny thing is that the stretchers had restrainers that could have locked the guys in that would have at least looked better than that silly athletic tape. Then they put Daffney in a wheelchair and taped her up. Her being taped was the silliest of the three in that the tape didn't hold but she still had to sell it." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 28, 2000

"Jarrett introduced Russo as the guy who turned the WWF around and called him Vince McMahon's best kept secret. Russo came out to the Road Warriors music. He talked about getting screwed by the good ol' boys while a great percentage of both the live and TV audience had no clue what he was talking about. Bischoff came out to tease a confrontation, but they hugged. They announced that all of the titles were vacated. When Sid was teasing he was going to hit Bischoff, Bischoff made a comment about Sid not having scissors. Bischoff was so clearly stunned that the crowd didn't react to the scissors line that he must have thought that they didn't hear it the first time, so he said it again, also to no reaction." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 17, 2000.

"Meng speared a life sized poster of Goldberg. Meng used the poster to block Knobbs spraying him with a fire extinguisher. Meng then threw Knobbs off a 30-foot balcony" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 24, 2000

"The big finish was totally screwed up. The idea was that Jarrett and Page were to climb the scaffolding. Arquette would climb the scaffolding, hit Jarrett with the guitar, who would take the bump through the gimmicked part of the stage that they would fall through. When leaving the ring, by accident, Asya stepped on the set and fell through, so everyone could see that it was gimmicked. Arquette than ran out and apparently wasn't given directions as to what to avoid, and fell into the gimmicked part of the stage. So Jarrett and Page improvised up there with Page deciding to save the show and take the bump into what was already evident as the gimmicked hole in the stage. No idea at press time how this will be edited" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 08, 2000.

"Terry Funk won a handicap match for the hardcore title over Norman Smiley and Ralphus. Most of the match was backstage with Ralphus, dressed in a catchers outfit with a catchers mask, just standing there. The height of the silliness was them (Funk and Smiley) throwing cardboard boxes at each other and selling it. Finally, Funk brought Ralphus in front of the curtain and into the ring, and unmasked him and pulled his pants down. Ralphus basically stood there with his butt showing...Ralphus by this time looked like he was going to have a heart attack" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 15, 2000

"Madusa vs. Liz were supposed to have a cage match but Luger came out dressed as a cage repair man and saved Liz. Russo came out and hit Luger with a low blow, but he was wearing a cup so he no sold it and rubbed the cup in Russo's mouth. The security maced Luger. Palumbo attacked Luger with that 60's comic book twister deal. Awesome attacked Nash. Nash called him Eddie Money, who was a rock star probably when Nash was in college, and challenged him to an ambulance match. Scott Steiner went outside for a street fight with Tank and Rick. The Goldberg monster truck made the save. Nash nearly killed Awesome with the greatest power bomb in the sport. Just before Awesome faced sure paralysis, DDP made the save to help Nash do the move before he dropped the guy on his head. The (ambulance) match ended with Awesome never put in the ambulance." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 22, 2000

"During the commerical, they soaked the ropes with gasoline. Sting came out, then Vampiro came out and called him Steve, and said they would have an inferno match on the PPV. Sting said that's nuts and he isn't going to do it. At this point the ropes were supposed to set on fire but they didn't. The fans started laughing and booing," - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 22, 2000

"Russo then came out to confront Nash, and basically tried to take 100% of the credit for creating the 'Diesel' character that made Nash a star. Blood fell from the ceiling, most of which fell several feet to the side of Nash and much of which fell on front row spectators." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 22, 2000

"On the 12/4 Nitro (where wrestlers were told to stop mentioning Scott Hall), when the crowd was chanting 'We Want Hall' during the DDP & Nash vs. 3 Count match, on the closed captioning, it read, 'We Want Hall'." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: December 18, 2000

"Beginning this week, Nitro is going head-to-head with Thunder in Australia" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 22, 2001

"In a TV commercial in the Nashville market for the 2/18 PPV, the voiceover really says 'expect a night of run-ins'." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 12, 2001

"Ace (had) an exchange with Luger. Luger compared himself to a Ferrari and said that if you keep hitting a Ferrari with a sledge hammer, pretty soon it's worthless. Ace's reaction was something to the effect of having no idea what it meant" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 26, 2001

"Michael Buffer came out for absolutely no reason. See, he was there to announce the main event. But get this, there was no main event. Flair, at this moment, fell out of the turnip truck, grabbed a hoe and kept falling down" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 22, 1999

"Wrestlers are making bets backstage over who will be the first to trip on the new set" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 12, 1999

"WCW ordered a ton of new business card, stationary etc. with the new logo and the address on all the cards spelled 'Altanta'." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 12, 1999

"They showed Hogan going in for knee surgery. Hogan was walking into the hospital, not selling it" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 03, 1999

"WCW is coming out with Goldberg, Hogan, Savage and Sting Air Fresheners. And Nash. The company that is marketing them wanted the first four. WCW begged them to include Nash." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 10, 1999

"Flair showed up with the mental patients and a roided up girl, and was nearly the first casualty of the ramp" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 10, 1999

"Flair is about to be dropped from the Time Magazine Man of the Century INTARNET balloting where he is currently in second place behind Jesus Christ. More than 20 million people have voted, making it the biggest web poll in history, with Flair getting more than 310,000 votes as of 3/31. Flair is being dropped because Janice Castro, the editor of, said his showing is due to unfair lobbying from wrestling web sites. Jesus is about to go down as well, as religious organizations have gotten members to flood the ballot box too. is planning an exit strategy, however with the God of wrestling and the Son of God removed, the big winner in the poll appears to be Adolf Hitler, who would become the front runner" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 12, 1999

"They traded hard garbage can shots. Tony Schiavone in his infinite retardedness killed those by saying that they sounded great but really don't hurt. After Schiavone explained how the garbage can shots don't hurt, Bigelow went out and killed Hak dead with a wicked shot. Schiavone then (again) said it made a great noise , but didn't hurt as bad as it sounded" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 12, 1999

"Savage's girls seduced Savage. Stupid Nash jumped into the limo and they slammed the door. Savage drove it a few yards and jumped out and a Hummer ran into the limo. They spent $100,000 to get a 2.7 quarter" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: June 14, 1999

"Steiner undid the protective mats around ringside. He then piledrove Sting on a protective mat." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: June 14, 1999

"When Sting said 'I've got two words for you' and the crowd responded 'Suck it' in New Orleans, he thought the cameras were off. Boy did that come off as a lame finish to the TV show" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: June 28, 1999

"Buff has got to be the geekiest babyface in the business. He was kissing up to the crowd unmercifully. At the end, Buff told them to hit his music, and they didn't" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: July 12, 1999

"The fans booed Hogan a lot. Sting asked the fans if he should team with Hogan. They booed heavily. Sting, listening to the advice of the fans, then agreed to team with Hogan" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: August 02, 1999

"The Demon vs. Vampiro feud was scheduled to go like this. Demon was to be revealed as the Son of the Devil, I swear I'm not making this up, who had turned good because he turned his back on his father. Vampiro would be revealed to have been sent down, or up, however the geography goes, to garner revenge. On the New Years Eve PPV, Demon would toss Vampiro into a vat of holy water, and when he got out, he'd change to a new character" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: September 20, 1999

"Bagwell then came out, without his gimmick, wearing an 'I'm doing a job' face, wrestling La Parka in a grudge match from Thursday, visibly showing he wasn't allowed to do anything on offense, and making La Parka look like an idiot, then laying down for the pin, getting right up and saying something to the effect of 'Russo, did I do the job right?'." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: September 25, 1999

"It was apparent within five minutes that we can add color commentator to the list of things (wrestling, doing interviews and booking) that Kevin Nash can't handle. He started by saying that everyone said he was a bad booker but he was smart enough to book himself into a retirement angle so he doesn't have to take any bumps and still makes big money. He spent the rest of his show doing his 'I'm too cool for wrestling' gimmick, which would work if he was funny. Nash spent the rest of the show mocking Tenay's call of Duggan's finisher as the 'old glory' by calling Misterio's move an 'old glory huricanrana' and the like so many times that Tenay even told Nash he wore the joke out. Nash continued with the line the rest of the show" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: September 25, 1999

"Scott Hall had a mishap wrecking a rented Cadillac in Orange County, Florida. He fell asleep at the wheel. The car rolled over three times. They took a breathalyzer and he wasn't even intoxicated." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: December 7, 1998

"The Giant was accused by a hotel clerk of coming up to her and saying 'Do you know why they call me The Giant?' and she responded 'Because you're so tall' and he responded by allegedly whipping it out and rubbing it on her. Because of The Giant's size, the police were scared to death and sent 24 officers to the Mid South Coliseum to pick him up" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: December 14, 1998

"On the Time Magazine INTARNET balloting for Man of the Century, Ric Flair is now in third place trailing Jesus and Adolf Hitler. Raven is in ninth place" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: November 11, 1998

And then there are some that feel a little too relevant today...

"They did a show long skit of them (Hall & Nash) trying to sneak into the building, including once with Nash acting like he was drunk and supposedly throwing up on Doug Dillinger" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: September 25, 1999

"Hogan came back and suggested doing an old vs. new angle, largely because he wants to shoot on the new guys for never drawing money"- The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: June 7, 1999

"Hart and Bischoff tried to work the people and the wrestlers backstage that the angle was a shoot as they argued backstage with no cameras on in front of the wrestlers, but Bischoff has done that so often now that the wrestlers consider it a pathetic joke and no one bought it" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 05, 1999

1 comment: