Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Holy jesus damnit crap. This review is about to flow from my fingers like the words of the lord.


I'll be honest.

Last night, I enjoyed the Royal Rumble. I thought it was fun to watch, and I was entertained for the most of it.

But tonight, I am shocked to say, RAW was EVEN MORE entertaining.

I'm not even going to do my usual like/did not like, because I literally liked it all.

Edge's promo killed, and we still don't definitively know if he's our fresh new face, or our even more dastardly "I told you so" heel. Pitting him in the opening segment against Sheamus drew instant cheers for Edge, yet he acted as his usual self - what could happen next? I DON'T KNOW!

The Elimination Chamber Qualifying matches were awesome - through the night, I had no idea how many they'd do, so each time a new one came up, I got excited! The winners weren't too shocking, but what do you expect? A PPV headlined by Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Big Show, Jack Swagger, etc.?

Tonight's show felt like a fucking WRESTLING show for once, where the majority of the stories (a.k.a. ALL OF THEM) were told in the ring, much like this past week's Smackdown! The addition of seeing CM Punk surprise Miz and Big Show backstage was like finding a twenty in your jacket.

William Shatner was the best guest host maybe ever, probably because of how little he appeared, and how awesome he was when he DID appear. His spoken word theme songs were comedy genius, his interaction with the Straight-Edge Society and Miz/Show was AWWWWESSOME (pun intended) and him, Jerry Lawler and Bret Hart all on television together (or at least on screen within the same minute) was nostalgia you could get high off of.

And to cap it all off, Bret Hart and Vince McMahon finally set this feud ablaze, dropping truth-bombs (and A-BOMBS! Bret said ASS like THREE TIMES!!) - but more importantly, we can thank...

(My past self literally is intercepting this comment for all of my past comments on this man-- but I will still continue)


What the fuck?! Where did you come from, buddy? Big Dave laying a beatdown on Bret just infuriated my twelve year old self to the point of heart failure. This MUST set up some sort of Batista/Vince vs. Bret/Cena match (or at the very least and equally as acceptable, Cena vs. Batista with cornermen Bret and Vince, respectively) for WrestleMania.

I couldn't be happier with tonight's show, unless if Bryan Danielson came out and thumbsed up to the camera at the end.

The Road to WrestleMania is easily the best time to watch WWE TV. And now, with the triple threat Tag Title match next week, and the Cutting Edge feat. The Undertaker to appear on Smackdown! this week, you can count me in for the long haul.

The. Fucking. End.


  1. That should be Danielson's gimmick. He comes out at the end of each show and gives the thumbs up. It would be AWE$OME! (dollar sign used BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE MONEY)

  2. Oh it would rake in the dough by the armful! Mostly my money.

    I'd just donate to them to keep Danielson on TV in any capacity.