Friday, January 1, 2010


After a lengthy Christmas break (I got Scrabble SLAM!), I'm back to write about naked men fighting each other for fun.


Let me set the scene.

Final Battle 2009. Kevin Steen & El Generico have just lost to the Young Bucks for the first time. Rumours are that Steen is retiring due to a nearly crippled knee after ten years in the business.

He launches into the most real (real talk) speech, thanking everyone in the business, breaking kayfabe in mentioning the Briscoes by name, and listing his loss against Nigel McGuinness in Canada as his favourite match.

Steen then hugs his longtime tag team partner and friend, El Generico, and both men are in tears.

I am pretending something is in my eye because this is the warmest goddamn embrace I've ever seen.

Then, in one swift-yet-in-slow-motion moment... he turns to Generico, (see title) tears my friggin' heart out, and says:

"I hate your fuckin' guts."

BOOM - kick in the balls, chairshot to the brain, a kiss for Colt Cabana, and he licks a fans fingers like an ice cream cone whilst making his psychotic exit.

And there goes the greatest heel turn in recent memory.

I mean, there have been some great heel turns...

But this one takes the cake for me. Maybe it's because there's no restriction on what these guys can do, or maybe it's because I was played like the mark I am... but nobody has ever gone this full-blown heel in my mind.

He tricked us all with his stupid good acting and playing on the rumours of his retirement. He turned on the never-hated El Generico by kicking him in the balls. And then he went GAY (which no wrestling fan likes, m i rite), by kissing Colt Cabana right on the mouth, to silence those idiots that cheered when he turned on his best friend.

Think back to Batista turning on Mysterio. It was a pretty good heel turn. He freaked out (YOU'RE SPOSEDA BE MY FRIENNNN) and said he was going to rip his head off. But people still cheered the hell out of it.

Now imagine if R-Truth ran down to console Mysterio, and Batista, clearly out of his mind crazy, kissed him right on the lips and peaced out. Don't think people'd be cheering now.

So I think that 2010 will be the year of Kevin Steen. Even though he made me cry. Bastard.

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