Tuesday, August 3, 2010

RAW REVIEW 08/02/10: AND THEN THERE WERE FIVE... ER, FOUR AND A HALF?

Khali is caught halfway between Team Cena and the Nexus. Edge and Jericho quit - but joined together. John, you're gonna have to make a big, troop-rallying speech next week, and we all know it's coming...

Also, if you want to remember what happened on RAW, don't watch ROH On HDNet right after. Your mind will be wiped, trust me. I had to consult WWE.com for results to re-jog my memory. And it wasn't even a terrible show! ... uh, kinda.

RAW - 08/02/10
LIKE: YOU ARE A STUPID MAN!
DISLIKE: I'M BACK!
Photo - WWE.com

LIKED
- Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. This was a great match with, or so I thought, a really clever ending. I originally thought that Jericho tapped before Cena locked in the STF because it was his plan all along - take Cena to the limit, get him hurt (he hurt his leg right before going for the STF), and watch him fail at SummerSlam without Jericho by his side, thus proving that he should've been the leader all along. But then what followed kind of disproved that theory, so there goes that. Still liked the match, though!
- John Cena's LEGENDARY acting chops being put to use once again. From his displeased, saddened "...no." when Edge was quitting, to his humbled, sombre-toned "Chris, a minute, please." - he was building his actor's portfolio like a young Brando!
- John Cena standing backstage. I like the idea that if someone asks to be left along at ringside, John Cena will just stand in an arbitrary spot backstage with his finger up his nose.
- Randy Orton vs. The Miz. The Miz is becoming a legit star in my eyes, which would be shocking to me not only two years ago. I thought he was THE WORST. And now look at him! Unlike Sheamus, when Miz speaks, I listen. And don't feel my eyes glazing over. Also, that RKO got yet another RABID reaction from the crowd. Pretty crazy considering they'd sat through two tapings and had been relatively quiet throughout the show.
- Orton intercepting Sheamus like a lion marking it's territory.
- The WWE not just forgetting about the history that Sheamus and Goldust had on ECW. Good to see that we can call back to things that happened a year ago and not try and shy away from them.
- Natalya Neidhart throwing more suplexes in one match than anyone else combined on the rest of the show. I think. Who cares, she rules.
- Gail Kim's show-stealing plancha, and selling of the bump into the ringpost. More Gail, plz!
- Will Ferrel and Mark Wahlberg being hilarious.
- And finally, "YOU ARE A STUPID MAN!"

DISLIKED
- Melina. Ohhhhh boy. I... I can't... I don't even. I don't know where to begin. First, whenever she comes out, it's like she's spamming the taunt button on SVR online. She has more poses than an arena full of Hulkamaniacs (ha?). And she is the Batista of women. She gets hurt and makes a surprise return with a big shit-eating grin because she's about to win the strap back. But it's fitting that she's the Batista of women, because the Batista of men, Batista, had sex on her.
- The crowd. They were either dead or canned for most of the show. But it's not their fault. Sitting through two RAW tapings would be exhausting. Doing anything for four hours is exhausting, but hearing that email noise for that long is enough to make you throttle yourself.
- The Sheamus squash match. Like I mentioned, watching ROH On HDNet right after RAW can nearly ruin the show. We threw on last week's show and saw the Kings of Wrestling run a clinic on two tag teams in two glorious squashes with some staggering strikes and just dominating offense. Kinda put Sheamus' squash in perspective.
- Sheamus' promo. I'm hating on the Celtic Warrior, I know, but he's still never made my ears perk up when he speaks. Acknowledging Triple H, cool. Speaking in vague, boring, overused cliches "DOMINAYTING" - not so cool. The things he says, he says well. But it's just what he's saying that doesn't do it for me.
- Edge is out in the ring saying how he doesn't want anyone to come out and get involved. R-Truth comes out and gets involved. Edge: "What part of "don't come out here and get involved" didn't you understand?" Truth: "I was gonna ask you the same thing." ... huh?

- Great Khali being considered a threat. I think I'm in the minority when I say I'm not really buying this particular sub-plot in the Nexus storyline. I like the idea of trying to poach a member of Team Cena, but I feel like it would've worked better with someone else. I understand why they would use Khali. He's big and dumb and easy to influence, maybe with the help of his turned-no-wait-now-I-turned-back manager/brother/translator/dance partner, Nexus could bring him to the dark side.


But I do believe the angle would be more compelling if, say, Christian were on RAW, and had been down on his luck, losing consistently, feeling under-appreciated, maybe even beginning to lose faith in Cena. Nexus could swoop in and prey on the impressionable babyface.


With Khali, I'm just not that interested. In this same angle, Edge has explained how Khali isn't a threat - in fact he's the weakest member of the team. And the way he's been booked over the last few months has been as a comedy guy, so why should we believe he's capable of anything other than making out with Carol Brady?


Oh well. Just another case of a nerd getting his panties up in a bunch because the show didn't go the way I planned in my armchair.

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