Monday, August 2, 2010

GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS FT. JCW BLOODYMANIA IV IS A REAL THING

This exists. And it sounds like the craziest mish-mash of insanity rammed into one place at one time. Don't know about the Gathering of the Juggalos? Me neither! Let's find out together. First, a history lesson...

GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS
FT. BLOODYMANIA IV!

Apparently, the Gathering of the Juggalos has been going on for ELEVEN YEARS. It's where people (sorry, "Juggalos" - and "Juggalettes" too, as I've just discovered) go to party. Founded by the Insane Clown Posse and their label, it began as a music festival, but has expanded to include four days and nights of pretty much anything you can imagine.

The gathering includes one of the most bizarre pro wrestling cards ever put together, featuring the likes of Bryan Danielson and the Kings of Wrestling, as well as Butterbean, and actor-turned-wrestler Todd Bridges. Try and wrap your head around this lineup for BloodyMania IV, which may be just as strange as BloodyMania III, which featured the Juggalo World Order teaming with Sid Vicious, Ken Shamrock fighting Jimmy Jacobs, and Abdullah the Butcher's retirement match!

BLOODYMANIA IV
August 15th, 2010 at the Gathering of the Juggalos
JCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Corporal Robinson (with Terry Funk)
VS.
Challenger Mike Knox (with Scott D'Amore)
VS.
Challenger Bryan Danielson (with Todd Bridges(!))
TAG TEAM ULTRA-DEATHMATCH
Mad Man Pondo & Necro Butcher
VS.
Balls Mahoney & Masada
SINGLES MATCH
Isabella Smothers VS. Isis (with Sugar Slam)
SINGLES MATCH
Tracy Smothers (with Isabella Smothers)
VS.
Booker T (with Boondox)
SINGLES MATCH
Butterbean VS. Twinkie Hop
FATAL 4-WAY: JCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Champions The Haters
VS.
Challengers The Briscoe Brothers
VS.
Challengers Kings of Wrestling (In the promo video for this festival, Chris Hero was called "Chris Herio" and Claudio was called "Claudio Casanova" and there was a picture of Hero and Delirious shown. Not even joking.)
VS.
Challengers Ring Rydas
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
Shawn Daivari (with Truth Martini)
VS.
Joey Ryan
VS.
Road Dogg Jesse James
SINGLES MATCH
Officer Colt Cabana
VS.
Weedman (with Johnny Richter of Kottonmouth Kings)

So I know what you're thinking: "That doesn't seem like enough indy-meets-crazy wrestling for me! IS THERE MORE?" THERE IS. You can check out Ladies Oil Wrestling, Half Pint Brawlers, Oddball Wrestling (I do not know what this even means), and Flashlight Wrestling (I do happen to know what this means though - it's drunk wrestlers in the ring at four in the morning, lit only by the flashlights of the fans, fighting it out for you to laugh at!), plus one press release also lists Bob Orton, Kevin Thorn, Gangrel, Jimmy Snuka and the Rock N Roll Express as appearing! HOLY HELL!

That doesn't quench your thirst for... whatever it is this fucked up festival is attempting to do? Then there is EVEN MORE juggl-tainment!

- Carnival rides
- Midway games
- Juggalo karaoke (distinguished from regular karaoke by the hygiene of who is singing)
- Helicopter rides
- Hog Daddy's Hellfire (no explanation on their site as to what this is - maybe you're just supposed to know?)
- Autograph signings
- Open mic
- Juggalo karaoke (listed twice in case you drank to much Faygo and forgot)
- Wet t-shirt contest (good god)
- Ms. Juggalette Competition
- Movie screen (ft. Big Money Hu$tlas & Big Money Ru$tlas)
- AND SEMINARS!

...

I'M NOT EVEN DONE

- "Ladies Night" with Tila Tequila & Lil Kim!
- Mike E Clark Murder Mix Party!
- DJ Clay's Bubble House Party!
- Shaggy's Old School Super Jam!
- Tom Green
- GALLAGHER
- RON JEREMY
- AND I THINK MUSIC

Okay, I gotta catch my breath. This has me all psyched up you guys! And now I just found the card for the Flashlight Wrestling. I stress to you that this is indeed real, and I am not making this up:

NIGHT ONE
Flashlight Wrestling at 4 a.m.
MATCH ONE - "SCREAMS IN THE NIGHT"
The Haters & Kamala
VS.
The Rock N Roll Express & Tommy "Wildfire" Rich
MATCH TWO - "WHO'S STILL GOT IT?"
"Cowboy" Bob Orton VS. "Bullet" Bob Armstrong
MATCH THREE - "REVENGE ON THE BULLY"
"Richie Boy" Bryer Wellingston VS. Eugine (This is how they spelled it. Yes, it's Eugene.)
MATCH FOUR - "GOOD OLE SCRAP"
Tracy Smothers VS. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
MATCH FIVE - "OUT FOR BLOOD"
Gangrel & Kevin Thorn
VS.
Corporal Robinson & 2 Tuff Tony

NIGHT TWO
Flashlight Wrestling at 4 a.m.
MATCH ONE - "TAG TEAM TANGLE"
Bull Pain & Ian Rotten
VS.
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & "Hands of Stone" Ronnie Garvin
MATCH TWO - "CLASSIC CONFRONTATION"
"Dirty" Dutch Mantel VS. Gypsi Joe
MATCH THREE - "STOP THE HATIN'"
The Haters VS. Kamala & The Weedman
MATCH FOUR - "LATE NIGHT NITRO"
Bugg Bagwell & Disco Inferno VS. PG 13
MATCH FIVE - "A SERIOUS ISSUE"
Balls Mahoney & Masada
VS.
Terry Funk & 2 Tuff Tony

Plus Vanilla Ice and Coolio will be there and Tila Tequila will be rapping.

Not sure what the food situation is this year, though.

1 comment:

  1. Whoop whoop to the juggalo fam And tiLa tequila is a dumb bitch should of listen to shags mmfwcl seen it this year can't wait

    ReplyDelete