SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE
Photo - Stephanie McMahon's limbic system
Well, it's been a solid month, but I'm back. First thing I should probably get to - the WWE PPV Prediction Game. I totally dropped the ball on that one, not once, but twice. Travelling and keeping up with things like that are certainly not easy, but hopefully I'll have my shit in order for Survivor Series. If I don't, I give you permission to blind me with an urn that may or may not steal my soul and/or powers.
DANIEL BRYAN VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER
BRAGGING RIGHTS, RAW, SMACKDOWN
Photo - WWE.com
You don't need me to tell you how great this was several weeks after the fact, because you already know. Bryan Danielson is currently filling a Matt Hardy-sized void (he's still fat right? I've been gone for a while) in the WWE by putting on the kind of wrestling matches you don't see in this wrestling company. The kind of wrestling matches you see in this wrestling company have shoulder offense and David Otunga slow motion scoop slams. This match didn't have any of that! It had fans reacting and responding to legitimate wrestling moves and holds. For a match that had maybe a week of build, it tore the house down by telling a story in the ring.
I truly feel like this match will be the Dynamite Kid/Tiger Mask equivalent when we look back on this time and go "WOW, that was going on while I was watching John Cena sell an insult for three and a half minutes?!"
UNDERTAKER AND KANE
PUSHING THE LIMITS OF SANITY (UNTIL VINCE MCMAHON'S DREAM COMA ON RAW)
Photo - WWE.com
This feud bounced back and forth between being completely un-paul-bearable (lol?) to being legit viral video worthy. I can't tell if I loved it or hated it. The Paul Bearer promo that looked like it was edited by Tim Heidecker where he challenged Undertaker to a Buried Alive match was accidental comedy GOLD. But then all of the whiffed punches and punch-drunk selling that came in between the voodoo lightning bolts and arena-climbing took up so much time that I think I'll stick this in the "hated it" column. And that's hard for me to do, because so much of this was so camp and cheesy that it was fun to watch when you're blind drunk.
RING OF HONOR NEWS
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, FINAL BATTLE, TYLER/DAVEY
Incredible photo - Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography
We're heading into yet another exciting couple of months for ROH, and I'll be seeing some of it live. I'll be hitting up both events next weekend - Survival of the Fittest in Michigan and the Daniels/Strong title match in Toronto, both of which I'm vibrating with anticipation for. Yep. Vibrating. I'll have some kind of preview up for those shows sometime soon.
While I was gone, a few awesome things happened, and one not so awesome thing happened. The not so awesome thing would be ROHBrazil's YouTube channel getting suspended. I was so psyched to throw on Tyler/Davey from a couple weeks ago and have a shouting match with my laptop (in excitement), but that didn't happen, DID IT?!
The awesome things, however, are these two badass hype videos. One is for the final encounter (or battle, I guess would be a better word) between Kevin Steen and El Generico at Final Battle - mask vs. career:
The other video is more of a music video. It's taken from Glory By Honor where the Kings of Wrestling had their theme music performed live by Cody B. Ware:
MATT HARDY RELEASED
CORE GROUP TO TNA?
Photo - MATTHARDYBRAND
There's nothing like leaving for a month and coming back to enough Matt Hardy YouTube videos to fill every pocket of your designer cargo pants. My personal favourite has to be this one, just for how it starts. I won't say how it starts since it caught me off guard and I spit up on my laptop in hysterics.
Now the question is, where does Matt go from here? Well, he wasted no time in telling us. After he assured us that he's doing great, he's better than ever. He's awesome. Never felt better - he's great guys! So great, so happy. So happy and great to be released - glad even! Guys, I'm fine. I love it. Fine guys. Never felt better, look at me. So happy. I'm fine. Fine. Great.
After he did that, he dropped some very subtle hints (watch carefully, you might miss the hints!) about where he may end up.
EDIT: I don't think I surveyed the situation properly to find my actual favourite Matt Hardy YouTube entry that went up while I was gone. Because I just watched this one. To quickly summarize, it begins with him in the shower and ends with him holding a gun over a bed full of money. And there's a giant broadsword. You're welcome.
ALSO THIS HAPPENED
HULK HOGAN RAPSTAR COMMERCIAL, FEATURING BROOKE HOGAN AND THE THING THAT MADE BROOKE HOGAN
Video courtesy of Kotaku - click image to watch
No, not Jimmy Hart - Hulk Hogan's genitalia! What a strange commercial. This, in addition to his "full-blown evil on your ass/draw money/start shootin'/fake ass wrestlin'" twitvid, and in addition to all of the insanity floating around TNA about concussions and brutal chairshots and "THEY" being these guys, goes to show that I haven't missed a thing in TNA in the last month. Business as usual.
That's definitely not all that happened this month. Smackdown! continued to produce the best mainstream wrestling show going, highlighted by a PPV-headlining-worthy main event contest between Alberto del Rio and Rey Mysterio. Evan Bourne and CM Punk were both injured, thus making RAW about 500% less watchable over the next few months. Lita ruined a game of diva-twister, Mark Henry revealed he needs to write "R" and "L" on each of his hands, Johnny Knoxville pulled some pranks, Undertaker was murdered and Freddie Prinze, Jr. is back with WWE as the resident medical doctor, specializing in Stephanie McMahon's fucked up dreams.
I love pro wrestling.