HOW FAR DO YOU WANT YOUR CURTAIN PULLED BACK?

That sounds kind of strange, and I'm sure Triple H could twist that into a kayfabe-breaking gay joke, but it's a serious question. How much do you let yourself know?

I've been completely burnt out on writing about wrestling for the past few days, and tonight I'm just going to watch some wrestling for the sake of watching wrestling and not to dissect and ruin it for myself. But this question just came to me, and I'm curious as to what people say.

For the longest time (I don't know how long, but long) it seemed that if you were a wrestling fan and had the Internet, you would want to know everything. I was definitely one of those people. I wanted to read every spoiler, every shoot interview, and seek out every single morsel of information about how wrestling works - how do matches get put together? How much do they call in the ring? What is calling it in the ring? Is Stone Cold really going to shoot Vince McMahon in the head on live television because I pissed my pants before Vince did. TELL ME EVERYTHING.

If you want to know something about the inner workings of wrestling, you can find it pretty easily on the Internet. That is cool. But only if you want to know that stuff.

I've come to the point where I don't want to know stuff. I want to keep the magic untouched and unmolested and unruined, so I can still watch wrestling and get the feelings it gave me when I was eleven. Lance Storm (who I site like a peer-reviewed journal on here) has said in many Q & A's on his blog that he doesn't want to reveal certain aspects of the business in order to protect it - even though he'll answer pretty much anything out of kayfabe. One person asked how near falls are best used int matches, and Lance said he wouldn't say. I like that there's some stuff we'll never know. Or if it does come out, I don't want to know it, so I'm going to go put on my Vader mask backwards and plug my ears until it's safe to stop.

How about you though? Do you keep things from yourself? If a spoiler on a dirtsheet comes up, do you click on it? Or do you avoid it in hopes of keeping some part of the magic of wrestling in tact. Whether it's a storyline spoiler or a taping spoiler or even a small note on why something happened during a match - they're all called a spoiler for a reason. They spoil wrestling (er, well, that's how I see it anyway).

It's a hard balance. I like reading about wrestling because I love it so much, but I don't want to take away what makes it great. But on the other hand, knowing more about the inner workings of a match can make you enjoy wrestling on a whole other level, which once again makes it one of the strangest and most unique forms of entertainment ever. Take Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker from WrestleMania XXV. In kayfabe, the point of a wrestling match is that the guys are supposed to hurt each other and try and win. But when Undertaker takes a nosedive over the top rope and accordions himself on his own head, you start to wonder if he's really hurt. This adds a whole other layer of drama to this match, where if you weren't aware of wrestling being "fake," you wouldn't understand.

Same for spotting things like guys calling things on the fly, or blading in a way that you could never, ever catch them. Those weird little things can make a match more interesting and more fun to watch, so there are pros to knowing more than the "average" fan.

Clearly, I'm on the fence. I have things I like knowing, and things I never want to know. What about you?

And if this is the first time you found out that wrestling is fake, I'm sorry. My grade three teacher had to apologize to me for saying Santa wasn't real, so I'll apologize to you. Thanks, Mr. Mac. Fuck.

WHOA: EPIC UNDERTAKER VS. STING PROMO SHOT

Via Arda Ocal's Twitter

Image - @TheRaviKhanna

No idea if this is fake or real or fan-made or fan-found or whatever, but HOLY JESUS. If your body didn't go fully erect as one giant goosebump after viewing this, you can DDT yourself and forget ever being a wrestling fan again.

Or maybe you just don't like Sting or something.

EDIT: I threw this up here in a mark-out frenzy and didn't even take a second to think about this.

Undertaker vs. Sting has been a rumour (pipedream?) for a while now, and this image looks ridiculously professional - is it legit? I don't know. But what I do know, is that this promo aired on RAW last night:

Sorry for the crude nature of the video, it's all I could find for now.

I think the answer is obvious. Even the "2 21 11" numbers form in such a way that the letters "STING" could replace them.

Sting has always been against coming to WWE, but maybe after seeing the sendoff and Hall of Fame treatment guys have been getting as of late, he won't be afraid of the Sting character being bastardized by Vince McMahon for the years of opposing the WWF that Sting has done. Is that sentence worded properly? I can't tell because I'm having SENSORY OVERLOOOAD

FUCK IT I LOVE IT

LAST EDIT I PROMISE: Wow. Immediately after posting this, the rumour mill is SWIRLING (spinning? Do rumours swirl? FORGET IT) that the "2 21 11" mystery man is...

(this is going to spoil it for you)

...

(so stop scrolling if you don't want to be spoiled)

...

(although spoilers in wrestling don't really make sense because how can you spoil something that hasn't happened yet)

...

(but this is still a spoiler)

...

(so stop right now)

...

(if you've read this far you clearly want to be spoiled so here it comes)

...

(or what if I just keep going on like this forever?)

...

(how far would you keep scrolling?)

...

(you'd probably just scroll to the bottom like a smart person)

...

(okay here we go)

...

(...)

...

THE UNDERTAKER. Wait, what? Not Sting? I should've seen that coming. Apparently, the website for the arena that's hosting the February 21st RAW is advertising the return of the Undertaker, and dirtsheets everywhere are reporting this as the answer to the "2 21 11" mystery. But I won't give up hope. That poster is too awesome to just die on the internet and not come to life and entertain the shit out of me.

Not only that, but maybe... just maybe (this is me refusing to let go), the WWE is getting better at swerving the internet, by sending out false rumours, like Wade Barrett being set to face Undertaker at WrestleMania, or the Undertaker being the man in the "2 21 11" promo, or whatever else. Maybe they're trying to keep a lid on this surprise.

I just don't see that being the Undertaker. I guess I should. Just why the fuck do we need a mysterious hype video for the Undertaker? He comes and goes all the goddamned time! I only know one dark brooding character that hangs out in the rain in a black trenchcoat, and that's my perverted neighbour at my window I mean Sting.

I want shit like this to happen every year (even though it's not happening this year). People from all over the fucking world want to come and end Undertaker's Streak like it's some kind of Super Smash Bros. BRAWL event and Sting is Snake hiding in a cardboard box giving me a nerd boner the size of GIGA BOWSER. I want to see someone draw up a poster for next year's 'Mania with Kenta Kobashi looking into a broken mirror with Undertaker's distorted reflection looking back at him, and "STREAK" written in blood or some crazy fucking shit. Or maybe a poster where Undertaker perched atop a skyscraper looking over whatever city the next 'Mania is in and in the fog behind him is a shadow in the exact shape of BATMAN AND THE LIGHTS ON THE BUILDING SPELL OUT "STREAK" AND I'M THE REFEREE AND AHAHHHHHHHAHAHAHJDKHVBEHR,.JF

I hope Sting comes some day. If only so we could finally get that Sting/Undertaker/Cena rematch we've been clamouring for since the first one happened - remember that?

LATE NIGHT REBLOG: FEAT. "WE WATCH WRESTLING" TUMBLR

The latest addition to the sidebar is yet another fantastic pro wrestling Tumblr, this one simply called "We Watch Wrestling." Mike, the main contributor to the site I believe, has all kinds of wrestling photos up, all intended to celebrate the great sport of fake fighting. Want a picture of Batista and Masahiro Chono? Got it. Maybe a shot of Adam Pierce with long hair? It's yours. How about the funniest fucking picture of the Four Horsemen in Four Horsemen sweaters? LOOK NO FURTHER.

Here are some of my favourites. Check out We Watch Wrestling right here.

I'M BACK! IT FEELS LIKE I'VE BEEN AWAKENED FROM A COMA!

Nothing like that has happened in wrestling lately, has it? Nah, that'd be crazy!

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE

I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING

Photo - Stephanie McMahon's limbic system

Well, it's been a solid month, but I'm back. First thing I should probably get to - the WWE PPV Prediction Game. I totally dropped the ball on that one, not once, but twice. Travelling and keeping up with things like that are certainly not easy, but hopefully I'll have my shit in order for Survivor Series. If I don't, I give you permission to blind me with an urn that may or may not steal my soul and/or powers.

DANIEL BRYAN VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER

BRAGGING RIGHTS, RAW, SMACKDOWN

Photo - WWE.com

You don't need me to tell you how great this was several weeks after the fact, because you already know. Bryan Danielson is currently filling a Matt Hardy-sized void (he's still fat right? I've been gone for a while) in the WWE by putting on the kind of wrestling matches you don't see in this wrestling company. The kind of wrestling matches you see in this wrestling company have shoulder offense and David Otunga slow motion scoop slams. This match didn't have any of that! It had fans reacting and responding to legitimate wrestling moves and holds. For a match that had maybe a week of build, it tore the house down by telling a story in the ring.

I truly feel like this match will be the Dynamite Kid/Tiger Mask equivalent when we look back on this time and go "WOW, that was going on while I was watching John Cena sell an insult for three and a half minutes?!"

UNDERTAKER AND KANE

PUSHING THE LIMITS OF SANITY (UNTIL VINCE MCMAHON'S DREAM COMA ON RAW)

Photo - WWE.com

This feud bounced back and forth between being completely un-paul-bearable (lol?) to being legit viral video worthy. I can't tell if I loved it or hated it. The Paul Bearer promo that looked like it was edited by Tim Heidecker where he challenged Undertaker to a Buried Alive match was accidental comedy GOLD. But then all of the whiffed punches and punch-drunk selling that came in between the voodoo lightning bolts and arena-climbing took up so much time that I think I'll stick this in the "hated it" column. And that's hard for me to do, because so much of this was so camp and cheesy that it was fun to watch when you're blind drunk.

RING OF HONOR NEWS

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, FINAL BATTLE, TYLER/DAVEY

Incredible photo - Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

We're heading into yet another exciting couple of months for ROH, and I'll be seeing some of it live. I'll be hitting up both events next weekend - Survival of the Fittest in Michigan and the Daniels/Strong title match in Toronto, both of which I'm vibrating with anticipation for. Yep. Vibrating. I'll have some kind of preview up for those shows sometime soon.

While I was gone, a few awesome things happened, and one not so awesome thing happened. The not so awesome thing would be ROHBrazil's YouTube channel getting suspended. I was so psyched to throw on Tyler/Davey from a couple weeks ago and have a shouting match with my laptop (in excitement), but that didn't happen, DID IT?!

The awesome things, however, are these two badass hype videos. One is for the final encounter (or battle, I guess would be a better word) between Kevin Steen and El Generico at Final Battle - mask vs. career:

The other video is more of a music video. It's taken from Glory By Honor where the Kings of Wrestling had their theme music performed live by Cody B. Ware:

MATT HARDY RELEASED

CORE GROUP TO TNA?

Photo - MATTHARDYBRAND

There's nothing like leaving for a month and coming back to enough Matt Hardy YouTube videos to fill every pocket of your designer cargo pants. My personal favourite has to be this one, just for how it starts. I won't say how it starts since it caught me off guard and I spit up on my laptop in hysterics.

Now the question is, where does Matt go from here? Well, he wasted no time in telling us. After he assured us that he's doing great, he's better than ever. He's awesome. Never felt better - he's great guys! So great, so happy. So happy and great to be released - glad even! Guys, I'm fine. I love it. Fine guys. Never felt better, look at me. So happy. I'm fine. Fine. Great.

After he did that, he dropped some very subtle hints (watch carefully, you might miss the hints!) about where he may end up.

EDIT: I don't think I surveyed the situation properly to find my actual favourite Matt Hardy YouTube entry that went up while I was gone. Because I just watched this one. To quickly summarize, it begins with him in the shower and ends with him holding a gun over a bed full of money. And there's a giant broadsword. You're welcome.

ALSO THIS HAPPENED

HULK HOGAN RAPSTAR COMMERCIAL, FEATURING BROOKE HOGAN AND THE THING THAT MADE BROOKE HOGAN

Video courtesy of Kotaku - click image to watch

No, not Jimmy Hart - Hulk Hogan's genitalia! What a strange commercial. This, in addition to his "full-blown evil on your ass/draw money/start shootin'/fake ass wrestlin'" twitvid, and in addition to all of the insanity floating around TNA about concussions and brutal chairshots and "THEY" being these guys, goes to show that I haven't missed a thing in TNA in the last month. Business as usual.

That's definitely not all that happened this month. Smackdown! continued to produce the best mainstream wrestling show going, highlighted by a PPV-headlining-worthy main event contest between Alberto del Rio and Rey Mysterio. Evan Bourne and CM Punk were both injured, thus making RAW about 500% less watchable over the next few months. Lita ruined a game of diva-twister, Mark Henry revealed he needs to write "R" and "L" on each of his hands, Johnny Knoxville pulled some pranks, Undertaker was murdered and Freddie Prinze, Jr. is back with WWE as the resident medical doctor, specializing in Stephanie McMahon's fucked up dreams.

I love pro wrestling.

09/24/10 SMACKDOWN! REVIEW: PAUL BEARER RISES FROM THE DEAD, ALSO, CROWD IS DEAD

Well, well, well... that crowd was certainly dead. RIP that crowd. Yeah.

SMACKDOWN! 09/24/10

WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF JUMPING THE SHARK?

Photo - WWE.com

Swimming under it? It jumps you? Whatever it is, the Paul Bearer angle tonight did exactly that.

For me, this feud has been a butt-ton of overly serious gibberish that makes my eyes un-focus (whenever Kane starts riffin' over Garage Band violins). But tonight, with Paul Bearer sitting up from within that red casket, everything felt... well, perfect. And if "jumping the shark" is a ridiculous moment in a story in an attempt to gain viewership, but ultimately is the moment you can pinpoint as the story's demise (did I get that definition right?), then this is most definitely the opposite, where this ridiculous moment took a shitty story and made it AWESOME.

This is what the feud should be. Forget the long, drawn-out, unbelievably serious promos, and bring on the cartoony, over-the-top absurdity. Forget the trying-to-hard-to-be-creepy Kane laughing/appearing/reappearing devoid of logic, and bring-on Undertaker bowing to the power of Paul Bearer's urn.

As the show went off the air with Kane screaming - ahem... "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!HSJQJHK" and Undertaker was on bended knee with Paul Bearer vibrating with voodoo powers, I was loving it. Now this feud makes sense to me.

No matter how good Kane was at shouting the gibberish, it was still gibberish, and I couldn't get behind it. I liked that he and Undertaker were using their "powers," but I didn't like it when they talked about their "powers" as if there is an actual laundry list of "powers" that they each have ("Okay, body-swapping? Check. Lightning from my hands? Check. Druids? WAIT WHERE ARE MY DRUIDS") - it just seemed out of place.

But now with Paul Bearer here (so fitting with 'Taker's career potentially winding down - I'd have even accepted a grey-haired Paul Bearer - wait, is he immortal?), this feud has had a firecracker of pure drugs shot up it's ass and I'm now excited for whatever unthinkable lunacy is gonna go down at Hell In A Cell.

OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPENED

- Christian was put out by Alberto Del Rio (he is getting quite the unfortunately fortunate rub from guys getting injured at bad times, isn't he?)

- Chris Masters took Kane TO THE LIMIT for some reason. Whatever works, I s'pose?

- Kaval and Chavo Guerrero had a short, but fun match. I wonder when Kaval will get his first big win - losing to Chavo seems kind of random since the focus didn't seem to be on either guy, really. Maybe I missed something. Ah well. Still got to see some good action (best on the show, or at least on par with the tag match).

- Rhodes/McIntyre def. The Hart Dynasty to retain the WWE Tag Team Championships. Two things: 1) As mentioned by Storm on the POW, aren't the Harts RAW guys? Details can be added to the list of Victims of the WWE's Rebranding. And 2) Arda Ocal of Right After Wrestling pointed out something Grisham said, where he essentially asked if Cody and Drew could become a great team... AND THEY'RE THE TAG CHAMPS.

- MVP did something while I was in the other room.

- Jack Swagger had his clothes stolen by the Dudebusters and Hornswoggle, who are essentially doing the same angle that Jesse and Festus were doing the last time Smackdown! switched networks.

- CM Punk def. Luke Gallows in a match that could've meant a hell of a lot more if Big Show didn't obliterate (whilst having a big headband-wearing slobbery laugh) the SES for months. Derp.

- Other stuff? I kinda forget. Oh right, Big Show squashed Vance Archer and Cu--zzzzzzzzzzzz. Actually it wasn't that bad. Fun, but served no point in my mind except for being fun to watch a big fat guy slap a medium muscly guy in the chest. And there's nothing wrong with that.

The focus of this show was obviously Taker/Kane/Bearer, especially with Undertaker doing a lot of emoting in a purple stairwell throughout the show.

I feel like I would punch my future-self in the nutsack region if he knew that I thought the saving grace of an episode of Smackdown (the wrestling show) was a promo between Kane, a casket, Paul Bearer and the Undertaker with his tongue sticking out. But it's just true.

And finally, that crowd... HO BOY. Was there a gas leak or something? They were sitting on their hands for the whole show, until the final segment. Yipes. I think they were even editing out the "WHAT" chants during Del Rio's promo, or there was just some seriously bizarre deadpan reactions from the crowd. Really weird.

Can't believe Hell In A Cell is nine days away. Could you imagine spending $110 on the WWE in two weeks time? Hot damn.

Oh, almost forgot. Watch this super creepy (to me at least) video of Paul Bearer getting covered in cement... during, uh... rehearsal, I guess? Check it:

UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE HAVE TOO MANY BELTS: UNIFYING THE WWE TITLES AT WMXXVII

Inspired by @StingerLOP's "Deadly Venom" column on Lords of Pain.

Since 2003, we've been seeing double when it comes to WWE titles. Two world titles, two midcard titles, two tag team titles and eventually two Women's titles (little known fact: if you type the word "titles" enough, it begins to look like the word "titties," which in fact makes the phrase "two Women's titties" pretty funny to me). But, as the reason for the initial brand split eventually lost it's original meaning of why they needed it in the first place (having too many wrestlers employed after absorbing WCW and ECW), the WWE began coming to it's senses.

At WrestleMania 25, the World Tag Team Titles and the WWE Tag Team Titles were unified when Primo and Carlito defeated the team of John Morrison and The Miz. Coming up at Night of Champions, the Women's Championship and the prestigious Divas Championship (coined the "tramp stamp" belt by Paul London) will be unified when Melina faces either Michelle McCool or Layla (or whatever who cares). And finally, the going rumour on the internet (great place, check it out) is that at WrestleMania XXVII, we will see both the world titles and midcard titles unified.

That's right. Only one world and midcard titty. I mean title.

When I first heard this idea, I was (and still am) excited. It's been long enough with two sets of titles. The brand extension doesn't have anything to do with belts anymore really, the extension is more about making sure everyone gets on TV and that you can save certain feuds/pairings so it feels special. Same goes for when someone appears on a show they aren't supposed to be on - I like that idea, cool with me. But it is now time to make the belts themselves feel special too.

Stinger put it perfectly in his column when he said that it gets almost tiresome when you watch a PPV and every match is a title bout. It's true. Why should I care about the midcard titles when there's TWO WORLD titles to be worried about? And when they change left, right and center anyway, why should I care about them-- that's a whole other story and now my rants are starting to leak into one another. Kind of like the way my brain leaks out my ears when I watch Impact--SORRY IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.

Bottom line is this: the WWE needs to restore prestige to their championships. They've tried in the past by centering certain feuds around incredible matches for a belt (i.e. Jericho v. Mysterio of last year), and that is half the battle, but when there's so much other gold out there, it's hard to fully get behind this idea.

If you just had the one world title, the one midcard title, the one pair of tag team straps and one women's title - then the focus is simple and clear. There's a belt for each division and only one man/woman/tag team/leprechaun can be the best.

So now the conversation shifts to this - who should unify the belts? Stinger's suggestions made me wet in the crotch, so I'll include those, along with the other possibilities that I think are out there. BEGIN.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP

+

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

=

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

The last time this match happened was when Edge and Test squared off at the InVasion PPV. It was a good match. But this match needs to be better, especially if it's going to happen at 'Mania. So...

United States Champion Daniel Bryan

VS.

Intercontinental Champion CM Punk

This was Stinger's suggestion. Look, he even made a nifty graphic for it!

The fact that this jumps out to me as the most obvious pairing to unify these belts fills me with giddy nerd sweat. It seems so simple. Danielson takes the US Title from Miz, the IC Title can bounce around until it finally lands on Punk - and BOOM: you've got yourself an instant mat classic at WM27. The kind of match that will make people forget about Steamboat/Savage. The kind of match that will make me go on and on with ridiculous hyperbole.

But more importantly, it will set a precedent - a tone, if you will, for this newly unified belt. And hopefully that would carry on.

Think about the UFC (I hate comparing the two, but bare with me). When someone like BJ Penn sets such a precedent for his Lightweight Title by holding it for so long and putting on great fights, you wonder who could ever beat him. Then when Frankie Edgar comes along and wins, you're suddenly like, "now who could ever beat HIM?!" It's this one-uppsmanship (how the fuck do you spell that made-up word?) that no longer exists with WWE championship belts. It's all about shock and swerve and bullshit.

On to the next one...

United States Champion The Miz

VS.

Intercontinental Champion John Morrison

This one presents a less exciting in-ring matchup, but still has a big match feel to it. The first time these two former partners (and tag champs) met was at Bragging Rights last year - both holding the respective titles I have listed above. Even though it's no Danielson/Punk, it's still got that iconic feeling where two stars on the rise, former partners, are squaring off in the biggest match of their careers. When you're unifying these titles, it's got to feel big. It's got to be Bulldog/Owen for the European title. Okay, well if it can't be that good in the ring, then it can at least have that feeling of two former best friends going at it to prove who is the better man (and who's the Jannetty), right?!

United States Champion Evan Bourne

VS.

Intercontinental Champion Alberto del Rio OR Rey Mysterio

In a matter of seconds, the entire landscape of the WWE can change, and does on a regular basis. So I know that these two potential matchups are super fresh and WrestleMania is monnnnnths away. But I really like these two pairings and think that something big could happen if either match was given the time to shine. With Bourne/Mysterio you get that fluid, thrilling "who's the best high-flyer" match that would be an instant classic and a possible show-stealer. With Bourne/Del Rio, you still get a fantastic match, but you also get the heat that Alberto brings and the underdog face reactions Bourne's been pulling from crowds lately.

But a billion things can and for sure will happen between even Elimination Chamber and WrestleMania, so I'm going to just tuck this idea back into the folds of my brain (folds that have developed after watching naked men pretend to fight each other all day every day).

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP

+

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

=

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP

This one, unlike the US/IC title match, has never happened. At least, the titles themselves have never been previously unified, so it is a big deal (obvi you guys, obvi).

WWE Champion John Cena

VS.

World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker

The other suggestion made by Stinger. And here's the other nifty graphic. NIFTY!

This match has been rumoured to take place at a WrestleMania for a while now, and this would be the biggest way to do it. We all know why this would be one of the biggest matches the WWE could present at the moment, but the problem is this: in putting all of your eggs in one basket, you thin out the rest of the 'Mania card. An Undertaker match alone is an attraction in itself, so to throw him in the main event World Title Unification match, you're losing the attraction match that 'Taker brings with the streak, along with the two titles that are already placed in the same match. And with Money in the Bank potentially only being held at it's PPV by the same name, there's only so many featured matches on the WM card for this coming year. With no MITB, and mashing the Taker match with TWO World Title matches… it could be trouble for the undercard.

But if you put John Cena, The Undertaker, the streak (and not just any old streak - he's at 19-0 with a nice, even 20 wins just over the horizon), and both World Championships in one match - it will sell the shit out of the PPV. Not only that, but I'd propose this insane idea:

John Cena wins.

And then, after no doubt soaking in some boos after defeating the beloved Undertaker and ending the streak that no one else can end - the ULTIMATE SuperCena move... he turns on the fans. By then, someone will be hot enough (Orton, whoever) to takeover as the WWE's #1 babyface, and Cena can feel fresh again. And we can hate the shit out of him. I bet he'd be a really annoying, pompous "I beat everyone all the time" heel. Anyway, that's enough fantasy booking for what's already a long ass post. NEXT:

WWE Champion Sheamus

VS.

World Heavyweight Champion Triple H

It makes my wiener hurt just thinking about this, but it's a possibility. This feud isn't even close to being over. No one puts the DESTRRROYEEER out of action and doesn't pay for it. We all know how the WWE works, so they could find a way to get the belts on both of these guys in any number of ways. It's just a matter of if they're ready to put such high implications on a match that was in the midcard of last year's WrestleMania.

Who knows when Trip will be back. And even then, this feud could brew for months, so I could definitely see it culminating at WrestleMania XXVII. I could also see myself taking a pencil and shoving it in my peehole at ramming speed if this happens.

WWE Champion Edge

VS.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian

Not holding my breath for this one (altho`ugh I am holding my boner (I've made a lot of dick references in this post, is there something wrong with me?!). I've been waiting… and waiting… AND WAITING for some kind of lengthy program involving my two childhood heroes. I loved Edge and Christian growing up - whether they were heel or face, they were Canadian to me and that's all I needed to know. Not only that, but they made me bust a gut weekly. Ever since Christian's return, we've only had brief little glimpses at a potential feud with E & C. Occasional encounters backstage… a throwaway (albeit GREAT) match on RAW… even a duelling promo on Smackdown before Edge permanently went to Monday Nights (which was terrible timing since Edge was in heel/face limbo at the time, and people were too busy wondering if they should chant SPEAR instead of marking out at Edge and Christian cutting a promo together in the ring for the first time since I don't even know when).

Point is, I'm terrified that they're going to miss the boat on this. I appreciate that patience, because nothing is worse than diving head first into a feud right away, and then you've blown your load and not given the idea enough time to simmer in fans heads at all. But Edge is just a torn whatever away from calling it a career, and Christian has been putting midcarders over on Smackdown for a dubious amount of time, which worries me that he won't be able to attain that main event status he so deserves.

I want this to happen. It won't. But at least throw me a bone (or a kazoo) and put these two in a feud. Don't wind up regretting that you waited too long because all of Edge's ligaments disintegrated.

But when it comes down to it, I wholeheartedly agree with Stinger and his suggestions (and reasoning for each one, which are very well outlined in his column). Cena/Taker and Bryan/Punk both have the level of importance needed for those two matches to happen at WrestleMania 27. Because I hope we don't see the US or World Heavyweight titles for a long time after that.

Follow Stinger on Twitter

Read his Deadly Venom column about unifying the belts

Visit Lords of Pain