AND THE ROH SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST WINNER IS... *SPOILERS!*

Don't look if you don't wanna be spoiled, fellers. Because I'm about to bust this piece wide open.

Here's a mural of Razor Ramon to distract you before I spoil everything directly underneath it.

Credit: This guy's Tumblr, I guess? I don't know, that's where I found it, okay chico?

Okay, we good now? Good.

Tonight in Dearborn, Michigan... Eddie Edwards defeated five other men to become this year's winner of Survival of the Fittest.

But that's not all. Oh no.

He did it... WITH A DISLOCATED SHOULDER. Or torn. Or fractured. Depending on which tweet you read. Either way, he proved once again that he is the toughest motherfucker going right now.

If I could take you back to last year, right around this time, actually... Eddie broke his elbow just minutes into an Anything Goes match with Kevin Steen. He finished that match, wrestled the next night in the infamous LADDER WAR II and came out on top, because he is a superhero psychopath.

And now tonight, he wins SOTF 2010 with his shoulder completely obliterated. This is Eddie Edwards' time (as correctly (read: incorrectly) predicted by TH of The Wrestling Blog! Way to go, TH!).

So should we pencil in Davey Richards' ROH World Title win at Final Battle then? It's gotta be just a matter of time until the American Wolves meet in the ring for a rematch of their classic HDNet battle, except this time they'll be deciding the ROH World Championship, instead of the TV Title.

I won't make any predictions just yet. But I am excited to see this show. And I'm even MORE excited to see the show tomorrow night in Toronto. GUYS I AM EXCITED CAN TOU TELL

I'll have some kind of review up after the show as well, so keep checking back for that.

Also, can someone tell me why my I get malware warnings whenever I try to go to the ROH Message Board? Has it become so snarky that even my computer is like "dude just don't go there it's not worth it."? I wouldn't be surprised.

UPDATE: Mike of World Champion of Something (and creator of the awesome PIZZABODYSLAM banner you see above) did me a big solid and sent me this picture he snapped at last night's show. Here's Eddie with his SOTF trophy (thanks Mike!):

2010 SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST WINNER

EDDIE EDWARDS

CODY RHODES KILLS IT AT THE END OF NXT (08/17/10)

Excuse me... "Dashing" Cody Rhodes.

Now if you're in Canada (like me) and don't want NXT, which airs on Thursday, to be spoiled for you (unlike me), then don't read past this picture of Cody Rhodes:

YOU TOO

CAN BE DASHING

Photo - CodyRhodes.net

After Husky Harris was eliminated (along with Percy Watson earlier in the night), Cody Rhodes went absolutely postal on the mic. This entire segment has a sense of "I don't know if they know what's going on" and I like it. Cody is proving over and over why he's the breakout star of NXT Legacy, and that he totally deserves his big push on Smackdown (squeaky clean victories over Christian and Matt Hardy in consecutive weeks).

His facial expressions in the ring are so good. Last week on SD! when Cody was avoiding shots to the face all match from Christian, until he was finally stung with a slap - he looked like he wretched into his own mouth. But then when he won, it was a look of relief and conceit and pride all wrapped up into one dashing smile. Take a look for yourself (and watch all the way to the pinfall).

And, as for the video from NXT, you can check it out here at CodyRhodes.net.

Before I go, I want to mention how much I think this class of rookies is better than the first NXT group. Wade Barrett and Bryan Danielson were truly the only standouts on that show. But I see more in Alex Riley, Kaval (no duh), Michael McGuillicutty (ugh, that name), Husky Harris and even Percy Watson than I do in Otunga, Tarver, Young, Slater, Sheffield and Gabriel.

Eli Cottonwood, however, makes me wretch into my own mouth.

SMACKDOWN! 4/2/10 PREVIEW + AVOIDING SPOILERS AT ALL COSTS

It's impossible. I tried. And I've been spoiled. Hard. Just right in my face.

First, the spoiler-free match listing for tonight. Then, on to a rant about spoilers.

NON-SPOILER PREVIEW FOR SMACKDOWN!

TAG TEAM MATCH

"Ron-John" John Morrison & R-Truth vs. Cryme Tyme

NON-TITLE MATCH (I ASSUME)

Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy

SINGLES MATCH

The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH

Tiffany & Beth Phoenix vs. "Simply Flawless"

SINGLES MATCH

CM Punk vs. The Undertaker

PLUS A CRAZY SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!(x infinity)

I'm not going to spoil the spoiler here. But I am just going to say: what the fuck.

I never read Smackdown! spoilers. It makes the show way more fun to watch. And when shit like this happens, it makes me want to never read anything on the internet ever again. I truly feel like it takes away from fun more than it adds to my fun. And I love fun. It's fucking fun.

So when EVERYWHERE is talking about a MAJOR spoiler, I try even harder to not read anything. But even that in itself is a kick in the balls, because once you see how CRAAAAAZY everyone is marking out for this spoiler, your mind starts to wander and try and figure just what few things could warrant this kind of reaction. So instead of tuning in to the show and just enjoying the hell out of it, you already have guesses of what will happen, and you totally expect The Great Khali to unify the World Heavyweight and Divas Titles (SPOILER!: that's not the spoiler).

What's worse is when you go to a blog (like I did two days ago) and it just up front tells you the spoiler on their front page with a big picture and headline. With no spoiler warning. Thanks for that. Not going to your blog ever again.

More often than ever am I considering turning on parental control for wrestling websites and trying to turn myself into a 100% mark again (like when John Mayer gave up Twitter for Lent). It would probably be way more fun. And you know how much I like my fucking fun.

So tune into Smackdown! tonight to see Vince McMahon shoot on Barack Obama and Drew McIntyre drop the Intercontinental belt to Mario Lopez.

Sorry I spoiled it for you.

IMPACT NEXT WEEK: TAPING RESULTS (NO MATCH SPOILERS)

Taping results have been up for a while, but if you were looking for non-spoiler match listings, BUT non-non-spoiler segment summaries, then here it is:

MATCHES FOR 3/29 IMPACT

Dark Match: Daniels vs. Kazuchika Okada

Xplosion: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D

Doug Williams & Brian Kendrick vs. Shannon Moore & Kazarian

First Blood: Tara vs. Daffney

AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett

Handicap Match: Jay Lethal vs. Beer Money

D'Angel Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe

Steel Cage Match: The Band vs. Eric Young, Rob Van Dam & Jeff Hardy

NOTABLE SEGMENT SUMMARIES FOR 3/29 IMPACT

- Team 3D challenge MCMG for their Tag Team Title shot because of a "Most Popular Tag Team" poll on TNAWrestling.com MCMG accept, but what's in it for them? Nothing.

- Hogan apologizes to Jarrett for Bischoff's doucheyness. Jay Lethal walks in and hilarity ensues.

- Jeff Hardy makes the call that his six-man match will be in a cage.

- The Pope sexually assaults Chelsea and stuffs money 'tween her boobies.

- Orlando Jordan is seen hanging about the ring, then is lowered to the mat covered in yellow tape. He crawled toward the announce table. Everyone chanted "that was creepy."

- Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson hype their Cage Match for Lockdown by having a Ladder Match next week. Just for anyone keeping score, that's two gimmick matches before a gimmick PPV that devalues cage matches for life.

I think I love this show just for the exercise I get smacking myself in the face whilst watching it.

IMPACT TAPINGS: MORE FUN TO READ THAN RAW IS TO WATCH

In the worst possible way!

Let's start with this (Thanks to Monkey Man from the GSB/POW):

Now that that's out of the way, on to the rest of what is a hilarious read, unless if you have any kind of money invested in TNA.

Spoilers courtesy of PWInsider, with my "favourite" parts in bold:

* Before the tapings started, the Impact Zone crowd was addressed by members of the TNA staff. They talked to the crowd about not cursing, making obscene gestures, or gang signs. They called the crowd 'cast members' and basically told the crowd that they needed to be quiet.

* Hernandez and Matt Morgan defeated The British Invasion to retain the TNA Tag Titles. During the match, Rob Terry came out and had his X Division Title shot briefcase. Brutus tried to use the briefcase on Hernandez during the match, but he missed and hit Doug Williams instead. Hernandez pinned Williams.

* After the match, Mick Foley came out and he hit Rob Terry with a chair. After Hernandez and Morgan left the ring, Foley said something to the camera that could not be heard by the crowd.

* After pyro goes off, Ric Flair comes to the ring with two women. Flair says that he hates Hulk Hogan, but he loves TNA. Flair says that he is here to find the next 'Nature Boy'. Flair then brings out the 'next heavyweight champion' A.J. Styles. Styles comes to the ring in a suit and he is accompanied by a woman. Styles puts over the beautiful women in the ring and then the crowd chants 'You are married'. This causes Styles to laugh and there was an awkward pause. A.J. cuts a promo that utilized a style similar to his new mentor.

* Kurt Angle comes to the ring with Hulk Hogan. Hogan says that he has changed his mind about Genesis being Angle's last title shot because he runs the show. Hogan announces that Kurt Angle versus A.J. Styles will happen tonight. Hogan says that it is 'damn real'.

* Orlando Jordan defeats D'Angelo Dinero with a Flatliner.

* It was announced that Ken Anderson will face Jeff Jarrett tonight.

* Angelina Love defeated Madison Rayne after a bicycle kick. After the match, Love ripped Madison's shirt off and choked her with it. Velvet and Lacey come to the ring and they attack Love with the 'ugly stick'.

* Hogan and Bischoff come out. They are tired of The Band running around and they want to see them wrestle. The Band come out and Waltman is smoking. Hogan says that since they don't have contracts, they don't have contracts, they don't work for TNA. Hogan has security escort them out of the building.

* Nasty Boys defeated Kevin Nash and Eric Young when Saggs pinned Young after a pumphandle drop.

* Mr. Anderson comes to the ring to cut a promo. He talks about his victory over Abyss at Genesis. Abyss is standing behind him and he attacks Anderson until Anderson is able to get out of the ring.

* A.J. Styles defeated Kurt Angle with an ankle lock. This match was described as an 'Orlando Screw Job'. Earl Hebner was the referee for this match and he had them ring the bell. Styles, Flair, and Hebner left the ringside area. After the match, Hulk Hogan came out and Angle spat in his face. Angle went to the announce table and took Mike Tenay's chair and throw it into the stage.

* Eric Bischoff comes out with blood on his forehead and states that Mick Foley is fired and then he leaves.

* In an Xplosion Match: Dr. Stevie defeated Homicide with a Stevie-T.

What might be the most strange about this show is that the matches they announced (which look sweet), don't seem to be on the show.

Also, these things also happened:

To update the iMPACT spoilers from earlier, TNA taped what appear to be part of next Thursday's show right after in Orlando tonight. Unless TNA mixes things up, it looks like below is part of the January 28th show. Thanks to JP Nichols and PWInsider.com.

* Desmond Wolfe defeated Sean Morley with the Tower of London. This was a qualifying match for a tournament at Against All Odds to determine the number one contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Title at Lockdown.

* Hernandez defeated Daniels in another qualifying match for the tournament at Against All Odds.

* Ken Anderson defeats Jeff Jarrett after a low blow. Jarrett tried for the Stroke during the match but Anderson used the low blow. After the match, Anderson hit the Mic Check and then did his usual mic work.

I challenge ANYONE to make a list of TNA's roster and divide them into faces and heels. I guarantee that if you were to gather like ten people and ask them to do this, no two lists would look alike.

I can't believe I had hope for TNA. Thankfully, TNA hope doesn't stick around quite as long as THURSDAY RAW THURSDAY.