SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE IV - LIVE FROM TRUMP PLAZA

Or somewhere in communist Russia, depending on what IV you want me to reference.

This was the fourth time I've left this blog to fend for itself so I can go spelunking (not really), and it's also the longest I've left it without any real updates. The hardest thing about that is trying to get back in the saddle and write like I used to. So herw goesk nothgin.

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE

I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING

Photo - WWE.com

I was gone for over a month this time, so it goes without saying that I managed to continue the tradition of missing something completely huge. Let's recap, shall we?

SIBG 1: Bryan/Ziggler's MOTY at Bragging Rights

SIBG 2: Miz cashes in, wins WWE Title

SIBG 3: Matt Hardy gets dreadlocks

SIBG 4: ...

WRESTLEMANIA XXVII

DAMMIT

Photo - WWE.com

Of course, I missed WrestleMania. Kind of. Not at all, really. I saw it live in a movie theatre, but in my eyes that's still missing it, because I'd much rather be watching it completely bumshit hammered in the privacy of my own home. Uh, with friends too, to make it (slightly) less pathetic.

It's a little late to do a complete rundown of the whole show (maybe, if anyone's interested, I could do a full-on Like/Dislike for the show some time down the road), and I'm short on time/your attention span. So for now, I'll just mention my favourite and least favourite thing, and they were pretty much one in the same.

Favourite: the main event video packages. More specifically, the one made for The Miz, set to "Hate Me Now" by Nas.

HOLY CRAP. I always knew the WWE were in the video package business, but this is other level shit. Normally you can see through them. Like when Wade Barrett makes John Cena raise his hand in the locker room for no other reason but to reference that exact moment three weeks later in a video package. And it was even worse before that.

The WWE went through a shitty period a couple years back where every video package was the exact same: triumphant, orchestral hits that score John Cena on an unstoppable path to the title until -- EVIL VILLAIN enters and makes the screen go slow motion and hazy and sad Spanish guitar* plays.

* - interchangeable with dissonant Arabic singing.

But when a video package is so good that it's the most memorable thing about a FUCKING WRESTLEMANIA (save for Triple H/Undertaker, which I did like a lot), then you know you're doing something right.

I also liked the John Cena/DMX one, even if it made little sense with all the religion and God-lovin' and junk. But the gospel choir did make sense because John Cena loves his preacher voice.

Least favourite: the main event.

I don't want to get into this, because it's been beat to death a hundred times over (which happened to Michael Cole at WrestleMania, right? I missed that part. ahem.). But here's the bottom line for me: Rock vs. Cena should've been a month ago. Instead, it's next fucking year and WrestleMania 27 ended like a $65 episode of Raw.

Or, a $120 episode of Raw my three friends and I had to watch in public, with children and angsty teens taking sides on John Cena and the Rock all around us. GODDAMNIT

EDDIE EDWARDS

ROH WORLD CHAMPION

YEAH. This footage can really stiffen a nipple or two. Not only do I love Eddie Edwards, but I love a good rollup win - especially in ROH where it's not that common for a title change. Small aside - what do you think of when you think of a rollup win? Bret/Bulldog SummerSlam '92? Steamboat/Savage WrestleMania III? HBK/Jericho WrestleMania XIX? Bret/Diesel possum pin from an In Your House that I can't remember but I'm sure someone (Jason) will correct me on?

But that's not all that happened while I was gone...

CHARLIE HAAS & SHELTON BENJAMIN

DETHRONE THE KINGS OF WRESTLING

Photo - ROHWrestling.com

And also...

TOUGH ENOUGH

DEBUTS

Photo - USANetwork.com

NOT TO MENTION

SIN CARA

DEBUTS

Photo - WWE.com

PLUS

AWESOME KONG

TEASER PROMO

OH YEAH AND

EDGE RETIRES

IRL

Photo - WWE.com

AND THIS HAPPENED

BRIAN CHRISTOPHER

WHAT

Photo - WWE.com

I CAN'T STOP YOU GUYS

TEAM

APPLE

Photo - WWE.com

AND

MANY OTHER THINGS

Photo - WWE.com

My. GOD. There is too much to mention. I've been sitting here looking at this list of shit that happened since I've been gone, just VIBRATING from too much caffeine and this overwhelming task weighing on my shoulders (that I imposed on myself like an idiot).

So there you have it. A bunch of things happened since I last posted here. Now I can get back to talking about things as they happen.

Before I go, some quick shoutouts: thanks to the Fair To Flair fellers for covering for me and letting everyone know I was out on "assignment." And thanks to my blogging DZP (down with Zack and Pri-bro) TH for letting his readers know about my reblogs.

And lastly, some link changes. Brandon Stroud linked me to the new home for the Best and Worst of Raw, which has moved to With Leather. And fellow Fair To Flair contributor K. Sawyer Paul has rebranded The Footnotes of Wrestling to Aggressive Art.

THERE. Done all my announcements. Someone else do attendance while I put my head down on my desk for a while.

THE 2/22 ROH VIDEOWIRE: PREVIEWING THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

This weekend, Ring of Honor is celebrating their 9th anniversary with two shows - tonight in Dayton, and tomorrow in Chicago (and live on iPPV) for their actual 9th Anniversary Show. Both cards are pretty stacked, and considering that in the past while they've lost Kevin Steen, Austin Aries, Tyler Black, Delirious, Necro Butcher and others, that is impressive. Here's what's in the final VideoWire before the big event on Saturday.

ROH 02/22/11 VIDEOWIRE

PREVIEWING THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

IN THIS VIDEO

- ROH World Champion Roderick Strong seals his promo with a kiss.

- Christopher Daniels and Eddie Edwards put over the importance of being a champion in Ring of Honor. Their match on Saturday will no doubt be a highlight for the weekend.

- The Kings of Wrestling don't think Kenny King is "tough enough" to hang with the ROH World Tag Team Champions.

- Rhett Titus and Kenny King, the All Night Express, RAP THEIR PROMO. NOT EVEN JOKING. DYING OVER HERE. Titus has got FLOW.

- Steve Corino turning over a new leaf. I love this story. Seeing Corino struggling to be the ultimate good guy is both hilarious, and maybe something that hasn't really been done before (someone will probably correct me on that). His "I can have a five star match... if you give me a two star curve" comment cracked me up. So did his teasing of the thumb in the bum. That really... cracked... me up. I hate myself.

- Truth Martini and Michael Elgin speak. Truth Martini might be the most hate-able man in wrestling. Whenever I see him, I want to punch him in the face. Then, I stop to think about how great he is at being a heel and looking like a guy you want to punch in the face. But then I still want to punch him in the face. And I want to punch myself in the face for thinking about Truth Martini for this long.

- Homicide brings the real talk to Roderick Strong. He also says he might do the "Homicide Shuffle" with Colt Cabana in Chicago, but he could say anything and I'd be scared.

No sign of the Briscoes or Haas and Benjamin, but an entertaining twenty minutes nonetheless.

Here are the cards, hype and tweets for this weekend.

Friday, February 25th

DAYTON, OHIO - "WORLD'S GREATEST"

Tickets + Info

SIX MAN MAIN EVENT - "WORLD'S GREATEST" COLLIDE

ROH World Champion Roderick Strong

ROH World Tag Team Champions The Kings of Wrestling

VS.

Davey Richards

"Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team" Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin

TOP CONTENDERS COLLIDE

Homicide VS. El Generico

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST FINALS REMATCH

Eddie Edwards VS. Kenny King

SPECIAL CHALLENGE

Michael Elgin VS. ROH World TV Champion Christopher Daniels

SPECIAL ATTRACTION #1

Jay Briscoe VS. Kyle O'Reilly

SPECIAL ATTRACTION #2

Mark Briscoe VS. "The Prodigy" Mike Bennett

FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL

Colt Cabana

VS.

Rhett Titus

VS.

Mike Mondo

VS.

Andy "Right Leg" Ridge

TAG TEAM ACTION

The Bravado Brothers VS. Steve Corino & Grizzly Redwood

Saturday, February 26th

CHICAGO RIDGE, IL - "9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW"

Tickets + Info - ORDER NOW at GoFightLive

ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH - NO HOLDS BARRED BARRIO STREET FIGHT

Roderick Strong defends VS. Homicide

ROH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

"The Kings of Wrestling" Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli

defend VS.

"The All Night Express" Rhett Titus & Kenny King

ROH WORLD TV CHAMPIONSHIP - 2/3 FALLS

Christopher Daniels defends VS. Eddie Edwards

FIRST TIME EVER - DREAM TAG TEAM MATCH

"The Briscoes" Jay & Mark

VS.

"Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team" Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION

Colt Cabana VS. Davey Richards

SPECIAL CHALLENGE MATCH

Michael Elgin VS. El Generico

WOMEN OF HONOR

Sara Del Rey VS. MsChif

FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL

Steve Corino

VS.

Kyle O'Reilly

VS.

Grizzly Redwood

VS.

"The Prodigy" Mike Bennett

TWEETS FOR THIS WEEKEND'S SHOWS

@ROHonHDNet

@Sheltyb803

@ccastagnoli

@theChrisHero

@SteveCorino

And finally, here are five reasons why you should order this show:

1. ROH's track record. They have literally never let me down when ordering one of their iPPVs.

2. Tag Team Wrestling. Two of the potential best matches on this card are tag team matches. You don't get that anywhere else.

3. GoFightLive allows you to watch at anytime. So even if you're someone who's looking to watch UFC that night, you can still get 9th Anniversary Show as soon as the next day (usually).

4. Christopher Daniels vs. Eddie Edwards. Their match at Supercard of Honor V was a phenomenal showcase of technical wrestling. It was one of those matches that makes you forget the pro wrestling is two guys cooperating, not two guys trying to out-wrestle each other. This match has the potential to steal the entire weekend to me.

5. There is selling.

This last point is a rebuttal to my good buddy TH over at The Wrestling Blog. He has been doing a series of posts titled "Intro to Match Analysis," and the latest one is all about selling. TH has this to say:

"Whenever I see a match featuring Shingo Tagaki or Davey Richards, and all they do is kick the other guy, take kicks and move around like nothing's wrong, it only reinforces that vile, four-lettered "f" word that haters of the artform bandy about like a sharp blade around the soft flesh of our fandom. Fake."

Now TH, we're still bros and all, but I can't help myself here.

I think a lot of people who write about wrestling on the internet have a list of keywords in their head when they watch wrestling. Where these keywords came from, I don't know. But typically these words are "storytelling," "psychology," and "selling." I think a lot of us love to use these words, and we also use these words incorrectly, probably because we just watch wrestling and that's it. I'm certainly not saying I know what these words mean more than anybody else, I don't. But I feel the need to defend Davey Richards and, similarly, ROH for a second.

I am not an authority on the matter AT ALL. I watch a lot of wrestling and love it and will be a fan until I die (probably of watching too much wrestling). I can watch Davey Richards and KENTA kick each other's faces off in a moment of "fighting spirit" and I can watch John Cena sell a stomp for forty-five seconds. The difference is that I see these two moments as two separate worlds.

I just see it as ROH (or Dragon Gate) putting themselves over as the "best wrestling in the world" and therefore you need to do more to their top guys to put them out. It's not a question of selling, it's a question of style. And if John Cena and Randy Orton started trading sequences of big moves like Roddy Strong hitting a Gutbuster, then a Sick Kick, then a Gibson Driver all in the span of three seconds, then yeah, that wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. It's the style of the promotion that drives the selling. To me. I don't know. Who the fuck am I to say. I've seen Rich Franklin knock Chuck Liddell out with a broken arm without flinching, so who knows what amount of selling is enough or not enough to make any kind of pro wrestling seem "real."

I feel dumber for writing this. But, I'd like to hear what TH has to say. I know he's a fan of ROH (and I turned this into an ROH-related argument only because he mentioned Davey, and I'm talking 9th Anniversary stuff here), although this seems to be more directed at Dragon Gate, which has the volume turned up even more on the "unbelievable" style of wrestling/selling/whatever you want to call it.

Anyway, with that said... E-FIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHT!

BELATED REVIEW: ROH LIVE IN MISSISSAUGA

I had about half of a review typed up the day after the show, but never posted it. For whatever reason, I felt silly about going through each thing and critiquing it, mainly because I had an awesome time and that's what counts, I guess. Most people already know all the details, but I'll quickly hit you up with the results, followed by the highlights of the show. LET'S DO THIS ISH:

ROH IN MISSISSAUGA - 11/13/10

RESULTS + HIGHLIGHTS

Photo - SLAM! Wrestling - click here to view full gallery

QUICK RESULTS

Bobby Dempsey & Grizzly Redwood def. The House of Truth (Michael Elgin & Zach Gowen) with Truth Martini

Mark Briscoe def. Andy "Right Leg" Ridge

Sara Del Rey def. Jamilia Craft

The All Night Express (Kenny King & Rhett Titus) def. Colt Cabana & El Generico to receive a future shot at the World Tag Team Championships

Kyle O'Reilly & Adam Cole def. The Bravado Brothers

Homicide def. Jay Briscoe

The Kings of Wrestling (Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli) def. Kevin Steen & Steve Corino to retain the ROH World Tag Team Championships

Roderick Strong def. Christopher Daniels to retain the ROH World Championship

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE SHOW

- I got there late and missed the pre-show, but I was there in time to see Eddie Edwards kick off the show with his arm completely bandaged up from the previous night. He smashed his shoulder into obliteratitry in his match with Chris Hero, which he won, and then he still wrestled in the Survival of the Fittest match later in the night, which he also won. He came out in Mississauga to tell us that he wasn't medically cleared to wrestle, because wrestlers don't stop Eddie Edwards, only doctors do. Seriously though, Eddie Edwards' physical being seems to be completely comprised of PURE MAN. And when Eddie was announcing he was not allowed to wrestle, some drunken hipster beside me was yelling out "YOU PUUUSSSSSY!!!" and all I wanted was Eddie to hear him and beat this doucher's teeth inside out with one arm. Anyway, on with the highlights.

- All of the Zach Gowen one-legged jokes floating around in the crowd ("Figure Four!! durr!" which was soon followed by "Figure Two!!" which doesn't make sense, he's only missing one leg ya dope, followed by me wondering out loud if Zach Gowen and Andy "Right Leg" Ridge should form a tag team that would have two good legs (at least I thought that was funny)).

- Michael Elgin going for a samoan drop on the big slab of dude that is Bobby Dempsey... WHILE going for a fallaway slam on Grizzly Redwood! He, uh... just fell down though. But apparently Elgin nailed this same move on the Briscoes the night before, so one outta two ain't bad.

- Andy Ridge's long, deep, cat-like scratches down his back BEFORE his match started. Why, you ask? Because the night before, Homicide back raked him so hard that he FUCKING BLED. Mark Briscoe then balanced it out by drawing blood on the kid's chest from open hand chops on the outside. You could literally feel the thud in YOUR chest from across the room every time.

- The ovation Andy Ridge received for his match with Mark Briscoe. This was the surprise hit of the night, with Ridge doing more than holding his own against the younger Briscoe. I really like the idea of these "trial series" matches. It makes you go "hey let's see how he'll do against a guy he'll probably lose to" instead of looking at the lineup and going "PFF oh well OBVIOUSLY he's gonna lose boring DURR" which I'm sure a lot of people would do, had they not set up this series of matches.

- The Kings of Wrestling bowing to the Queen of Wrestling, Sara Del Rey, on her birthday.

- Jamilia Craft's ring attire, and how she appeared to be dressed in nothing but tassels.

- Colt Cabana snagging my hat (a lumberjack style winter toque) during his entrance.

- El Generico's new all black attire, complete with a new jacket that reminds me of some kind of stoic Japanese cartoon character that should be wielding an enormous sword. Even his mask is all black (maybe it's just an inside out Generico mask, I don't know), but he looks awesome. His demeanour for the whole match is another highlight of mine, denying Colt high fives and looking like he's filled with sorrow on the apron, until he gets tagged in and the ref has to pull him off Kenny King for beating on him so hard.

- The Steen/Generico story that was the focus for the entire night. Generico's dive onto an interfering Kevin Steen (who was being swallowed up by a hoard of local wrestlers trying to contain him) was awesome, as was Cabana's anger towards Generico for constantly losing focus. Later in the night, Generico came storming through the crowd to distract Kevin Steen long enough to allow the Kings of Wrestling to retain their titles. Then, in a moment of complete D'OH by me, I ran to go pee before the main event. Little did I know, Steen and Generico were having a scary brawl all over the place and I missed it ALL. Except for when Generico whiffed past me in a rage while I came out of the bathroom. Damnit.

- Kyle O'Reilly and Adam Cole. I'd never seen these guys live before and they delivered against a crowd that was vehemently against the Bravado Brothers (there's only room for one "B" brothers in ROH, you guys!). They threw suplexes and handed out submission holds like they were that dude on the sidewalk trying to get you to come to his club called "Li3uid" or something (the 3 is a q).

- Homicide's overness. He easily got the biggest pop of the night. And the only sign of the night... if you don't count the three guys in the front row who wore matching "We love Todd Sinclair" shirts.

- The awesome, tooth and nail brawling between Homicide and Briscoe. They can tear it up BIG TIME.

- Homicide's Eddie Guerrero tribute (and, I suppose, simultaneous ODB tribute as he was wearing a Wu-Tang shirt). Homicide hit the Three Amigos and pointing to the sky, did a ton of Eddie shoulder taunts, and even won the match with the old "loosen the boot" trick. Even if that didn't make sense (it was kinda strange... he just started loosening the boot out of nowhere, Jay grabbed it, it came off, and he finished him off), it was still cool to hear a room full of wrestling fans chanting for Eddie.

- Kevin Steen's pre-match promo. He is scary good on the mic. He can elicit boos, laughs and the kinds of "OHHHH's" that you only hear when wrestling fans think you've gone too far. Yeah. Wrestling fans.

- The entire tag title match. My personal favourite of the night. The Kings of Wrestling are just untouchable when it comes to tag team wrestling, and Steen and Corino are such fun heels to boo (Corino stuck his thumb up Hero's ass when he had him in an abdominal stretch... then SMELLED it. HOW CAN YOU NOT BOO THAT?!). Special mention to Claudio's UFO (which got it's own chant!) on Steve Corino, and Corino and Steen using the Sharpshooter/Crossface combo on Hero (drawing big heat from the crowd as they denounced their Canadian hertiage before the match, as Steen declared that him being from Quebec (always gets instant heat in Ontario) made him better than us).

- Roderick Strong slamming Christopher Daniels all over the apron. I'm pretty sure there were at least two apron bumps that made me cringe.

- Strong and Daniels' chemistry in the ring. These guys can really wrestle well together, even if a lot of the crowd didn't get fully invested in this match. I was definitely into it and thought that Daniels could take the belt in a shocker, but he ended up losing.

- Seeing Tatanka, Jimmy Korderas, Arda Ocal of Right After Wrestling all in attendance, and Mark Briscoe in the beer line.

It had been a while since I'd seen ROH live, and while they didn't have a bunch of key guys (Aries, Davey, Omega, Eddie), they still put on a hell of a show. They're back in Toronto on April 30th, which I'm almost positive I'll be in town for, so I'll be there drinking beers and shouting pure hate at Truth Martini's hair.

Also, this review ended up being way more long winded than I'd planned. The more I looked through photos, the more I remembered, and the more I remembered, the more I realized how much fun I had, and the more I realized how much fun I had, the more I wrote about how much fun I had, and the more I wrote about how much fun I had, the more I felt the need to explain why this was so long winded, and here we are.

That's enough.

AND THE ROH SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST WINNER IS... *SPOILERS!*

Don't look if you don't wanna be spoiled, fellers. Because I'm about to bust this piece wide open.

Here's a mural of Razor Ramon to distract you before I spoil everything directly underneath it.

Credit: This guy's Tumblr, I guess? I don't know, that's where I found it, okay chico?

Okay, we good now? Good.

Tonight in Dearborn, Michigan... Eddie Edwards defeated five other men to become this year's winner of Survival of the Fittest.

But that's not all. Oh no.

He did it... WITH A DISLOCATED SHOULDER. Or torn. Or fractured. Depending on which tweet you read. Either way, he proved once again that he is the toughest motherfucker going right now.

If I could take you back to last year, right around this time, actually... Eddie broke his elbow just minutes into an Anything Goes match with Kevin Steen. He finished that match, wrestled the next night in the infamous LADDER WAR II and came out on top, because he is a superhero psychopath.

And now tonight, he wins SOTF 2010 with his shoulder completely obliterated. This is Eddie Edwards' time (as correctly (read: incorrectly) predicted by TH of The Wrestling Blog! Way to go, TH!).

So should we pencil in Davey Richards' ROH World Title win at Final Battle then? It's gotta be just a matter of time until the American Wolves meet in the ring for a rematch of their classic HDNet battle, except this time they'll be deciding the ROH World Championship, instead of the TV Title.

I won't make any predictions just yet. But I am excited to see this show. And I'm even MORE excited to see the show tomorrow night in Toronto. GUYS I AM EXCITED CAN TOU TELL

I'll have some kind of review up after the show as well, so keep checking back for that.

Also, can someone tell me why my I get malware warnings whenever I try to go to the ROH Message Board? Has it become so snarky that even my computer is like "dude just don't go there it's not worth it."? I wouldn't be surprised.

UPDATE: Mike of World Champion of Something (and creator of the awesome PIZZABODYSLAM banner you see above) did me a big solid and sent me this picture he snapped at last night's show. Here's Eddie with his SOTF trophy (thanks Mike!):

2010 SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST WINNER

EDDIE EDWARDS

THE 08/24 ROH VIDEOWIRE: IMPRESSIONS & REAL TALK

This recap is a little late since the latest VideoWire came out while I was away, and I just watched it today. But it's jam-packed with all kinds of promo goodness, so let's watch it together, shall we? C'mon! Join me! Weee!

IN THIS VIDEO

- More real talk with Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. No one has more conviction in his or her voice than Davey Richards. And it's not because he's ranting and raving (but don't get me wrong, I love me some ranting and raving - wrestling was founded on ranting and raving!), but it's because he's so calm and collected that you just believe what he's saying. It is true when people say (or when Davey himself says) that Davey doesn't believe in face/heel dynamics. He just tells it like it is, and that's what makes his character fucking awesome.

- Tyler Black says "YOU'RE HIRRRRRED" in a Vince McMahon growl.

- Kevin Steen does the unthinkable - a bang-on Roderick Strong impression. He also continues to be the most believable "crazy" heel in recent memory by acting legitimately insane. Because crazy heels only seem crazy when they're not going around being like, "I'm crazy I love to hurt people whoaaaa!" (I'm looking at you, Eli Cottonpecker). The craziest people think they're completely sane.

- Jon Davis stares blankly into the camera looking completely pissed off and apathetic at the same time.

- Just like they themselves said, it's not even worth bragging or talking about how good the Kings of Wrestling are in this promo, because it's not even fun anymore. "Here lies your demise, close your eyes because Kings. Reign. Supreme."

- A Briscoe Brothers family reunion. Or maybe it's just a tailgating party. Either way it's the Briscoes drinking beers with people in a parking lot, and it's as hilarious as you're imagining right now.

NOT IN THIS VIDEO

- Austin Aries & The All-Nite Express. :(

ROH 4/28 VIDEOWIRE: OUT OF CHICAGO AND INTO NEW YORK

Colt Cabana and Chris Hero are the stars of the latest VideoWire from ROH, which has the fallout from Dayton and Chicago, and the hype for Manassas and New York.

IN THIS VIDEO

- Colt Cabana, caked in blood, looking and sounding a little (completely) crazy, cutting a promo that rivals Kevin Steen's in awesomeness.

- ROH TV Champ Eddie Edwards stands up for fellow wolf Davey Richards.

- Erick Stevens reaches into the past to cut one of his best promos to date. And he gets left hanging by Nana lofl.

- Jay Briscoe def. Mark Briscoe in Killer Instinct. Or Street Fight II Turbo. I can't tell what game that is. Help.

- Jay Briscoe (with Mark as his hype man, echoing his sentiments) does it again, showing that he might be the realest promo in wrestling today. I swear it's just real to him. And now it is to me.

- Kenny King and Rhett Titus (or the ALL Night Express, as amazingly coined by A Double) talk smack about the Briscoe BROTHERRRS BROTHERRRS BROTHERRRS.

- Aries and Rhett discuss the carbonation in Sprite.

- Tyler Black admits he writes poetry. ... WHY TYLER?! It's just fodder for the haterz!

- A brief (and somehow quieter than everything else) promo from Roddy.

- Seven glorious minutes with Chris Hero, who will never be even challenged when it comes to promos.