Tuesday, June 22, 2010

FUCKING UP THE FAMILY NAME

Being a guy who travels for a living definitely makes it hard to keep up with blog posts. But here is one that I rattled off in the van the other day, since I just watched the premiere episode of NXT Season Two (and saw episode two yesterday).

Another quick disclaimer: I've yet to watch Fatal 4-Way, so results and junk from the prediction game will most likely go up tomorrow/next day or something. Once I get home I'll be right back on track for consistent posts - honest! Anyway, on with the show:

NXT ROOKIE
MICHAEL MCGUILLICUTTY
Photo - WWE.com

While season two of NXT kicked off with a loud, rotten fart of an excuse for an episode, the thing that maybe bothers me the most is the new name that Joe Hennig has. I truly don't understand that logic behind changing a guy's name when his gimmick is based entirely on the names of his father and grandfather.


Why Michael McGuillicutty? That is literally as if Stone Cold Steve Austin had a son who then came into the WWE and was like "my name is Geopphrey Jahosephatts!"


So here are some fake names I propose for the fake children of second and third generation wrestlers:


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE MAIVIA FAMILY NAME

Photo - WWE.com


PETER MAIVIA


And his son in law...

ROCKY JOHNSON


And his son...

ROCKY MAIVIA


And his son...

TAD GLENNINGSMAN


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE ORTON FAMILY NAME


BOB ORTON SR.


And his son...

BOB ORTON JR.


And his son...

RANDY ORTON


And his son...

SHEMP JONAS-DERP


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE STEAMBOAT FAMILY NAME


RICKY STEAMBOAT


And his son...

RICHIE STEAMBOAT


And his son...

DESHAWN FEINSTEIN


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE DIBIASE FAMILY NAME


"IRON" MIKE DIBIASE


And his adopted son...

TED DIBIASE SR.


And his son...

TED DIBIASE JR.


And his son...

CHUD LIMPLE


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE HART FAMILY NAME


STU HART


And his son...

BRET HART


And his son...

DILDO RICKLES


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE LEVESQUE FAMILY NAME


TRIPLE H & STEPHANIE MCMAHON-LEVESQUE


And their daughter...

AURORA ROSE LEVESQUE


And her demon spawn...

ZUUL


THE LINEAGE OF...

THE COLE FAMILY NAME

Photo - LavaLife.com


MICHAEL COLE


And his son...

N/A (NO SEX)

4 comments:

  1. next world champJune 23, 2010 at 3:57 AM

    my favorite reason was that Michael McGillicutty is actually the son of Tommy Dreamer and Beulah McGillicutty and was adopted by Mr. Perfect cause everything was perfect about him except his erectile functions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dildo Rickles? Why not.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's been a while since this was posted, but I keep coming back to this and laughing my ass off. Dildo Rickles was my initial favorite, like the hit single from a good album, but now I'm all about Shemp Jonas-Derp.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's funny - I too initially preferred Dildo Rickles, but now I'm a Chud Limple man.

    I hope this band goes on tour!

    ReplyDelete