Showing posts with label bret hart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bret hart. Show all posts

Monday, December 13, 2010

THE 2010 BRAIN BUSTER AWARDS - HONOURABLE MENTIONS

I've already sent in my votes for the first ever Brain Buster Awards over at WrestleSpective. You can too. It's as easy as clicking these very words, the internet will do the rest.

But this post isn't about winners. It's about those that missed the cut, but deserve to be mentioned. Honourably (which is why you'll notice that there's no mention of TNA here).

So let's get to it - my Honourable Mentions for the 2010 Brain Buster Awards:

BEST ANGLE - HONOURABLE MENTION
SHAWN MICHAELS AND BRET HART FRIGGING HUG EACH OTHER
Photo - WWE.com

The above picture was from an alternate universe up until earlier this year, when our past universe and present universe intersected at the same point on the January 4th edition of Monday Night RAW.

Seriously. Think about that. This is FUCKING CRAZY. Normally you "never say never" in the wrestling business, but you also say "don't screw me out of my title for real on worldwide pay-per-view in my home country and expose the business for all to see." If you would've told anyone in 1997 (or any year up until this year, for that matter) that Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels would hug on TV, they would slap you in your dirty mouth.

WHY IT DIDN'T GET MY VOTE: This was huge. Beyond huge. In fact I'm watching this back and my entire body is one giant goosebump. My original reasoning for not voting for this was that it seemed too real, or just kind of "above" anything else that happened this year. Daniel Bryan returning, Nexus debuting, all of these things felt like they happened within the realm of the "WWE Universe." While this moment seemed entirely different.

Pretty stupid reasoning, considering how jacked I am after rewatching this segment. Holy crap. I don't care if that hug was the most unnatural thing ever (together they looked like an old dog trying to climb a tree or something), it was the most heartwarming thing to happen in pro wrestling this year (ever?).

BEST PROMO - HONOURABLE MENTION
THE MIZ, CHICKEN CRUMBS & MVP (PART ONE | PART TWO)
Photo - WWE.com

In 2010, The Miz was a golden promo factory. From everything he did on NXT, to "HOW. DARE. EVERYONE?!" to his first promo as WWE Champion. But this promo in particular sticks out as his rise to glory. It's a big middle finger to everyone who ever doubted him, centering around how he was banned from the WWE locker room for eating chicken over a referee's bag, spilling crumbs inside. He also calls out JBL (who is either able to play the biggest, most convincing cock in the world, or just is the biggest cock in the world) for how he belittled him at every turn. It must feel pretty good to hold that WWE Title.

The promo itself is (wait for it) awesome. Just the idea that they let him take this promo all the way from the locker room out to the ring is a testament to how much faith they have in Miz on the mic. It might seem condescending saying how he can "walk AND talk" is exceptional, but it's true. Some guys can't even stand and talk.

WHY IT DIDN'T GET MY VOTE: This entire promo felt real. Like it was coming from the heart. Even MVP brings it, and that almost never happens. But when you look back at 2010, there were just too many great promos to be able to include this one. Not only that, but this was just the beginning for the Miz. The amount he grew from the start of the year to the end is pretty shocking, even for him. It also has MVP in it, so that took it down a notch.

MOST EPIC FAILURE - HONOURABLE MENTION
KANE, EDGE & PAUL BEARER
Photo - WWE.com

Why is it that I can suspend my disbelief and accept that Kane can shoot fireballs, but I can't suspend my disbelief and accept that Edge can get away with kidnapping... or even the idea that Kane would give a shit?

But it's not even the idea of logic or reason that makes this an epic failure. It's almost the opposite. I just can't understand who this is for. It's not funny (it's weird), or compelling (do people care what happens to Paul Bearer?), or logical (Edge's master plan = convoluted and already a failure), or anything (it's nothing). It's at best a terrible waste of pizza and chicken wings.

Just like Colt Cabana said in his podcast, how he'll never think of grapes and not think of Matt Hardy, I will never think of chicken wings and not think of Paul Bearer. What a bizarre idea. Seriously. Can you picture the writer's meeting? It's like one of the writer's has some kind of disturbing food fetish and was like, "what if we covered him in chicken wings and pizza... awww yeah." SO WEIRD. In fact, that writer might play a creepier Kane than Kane ever could.

To go off for a second here, Kane went from being SUPER dominant over the Undertaker, to running around crying every week for a month. I feel like I could write forever about this, so I should probably stop. Does Edge take Paul Bearer to the hotel with him? Drive him to the events? Are they constantly running from Kane up until show time? Surely this is more exhausting for Edge than it is Kane. OKAY I'LL STOP

WWE MATCH OF THE YEAR - HONOURABLE MENTION
THE 2010 ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
Photo - WWE.com

I've been going back and watching Royal Rumble matches at random lately. How we sat through twenty years of men holding each other against the ropes, I don't know. This match was a great example of what the Royal Rumble could and should be (in 2010, at least).

A match with 30 guys in it is the perfect opportunity for the WWE to exercise their "Action Entertainment" muscle. When you see Randy Orton and John Cena in an Iron Man Match, going at it for sixty minutes, and there's different stories and moments and fully-thought out sequences the entire way through - that's a great example of "Action Entertainment" (JBL trying to run over John Cena with a car like we're in a live CSI episode, not a great example).

From CM Punk's in-match sermons; to Beth Phoenix eliminating Khali; to Shawn Michaels' DX-imploding, Undertaker-chasing, elimination-fest; to Edge's bearded return, this match was full of everything you could ask for (and not an hour of stomping and rope-hugging).

WHY IT DIDN'T GET MY VOTE: When it comes down to it, even though we're in the age of multiman matches and themed PPVs and whatnot, I still feel like a traditional one-on-one or two-on-two match should take the honour of MOTY, unless of course there's an undeniably incredible multiman match. This Rumble match was close - it's not like it was just a MITB spotfest with no story, no no... what made this match so good was the stories told within it.

INDEPENDENT MATCH OF THE YEAR - HONOURABLE MENTION
KEVIN STEEN VS. EL GENERICO - ROH FINAL BATTLE 2010

This is obviously hyperbole and not fair and so on and so forth. But I don't care. I just hope I don't let my fanboy brain hype this match up so high in my imagination that I'm let down by-- what am I saying this will rule holy crap I can't waitjdjhvsbhfjhkzj,bnf,zn.

WHY IT DIDN'T GET MY VOTE: It, uh, hasn't happened yet.

BEST MEN'S WWE WRESTLER - HONOURABLE MENTION
ALBERTO DEL RIO
Photo - WWE.com

I was ready to just give Alberto the vote. There are only a handful of WWE wrestlers I can say that genuinely entertain me every time they appear on the screen, and he is one of them (but you already knew that). He's damn near flawless in the ring, and I think his genetic fibre is made of CHARISMA.

WHY HE DIDN'T GET MY VOTE: The only thing holding him back was time. Del Rio debuted in August, and while he was thrust into the main event picture (the only place he belongs), he hasn't really had a high profile match outside of his Smackdown! main event against Mysterio (and one more against Mysterio and Edge). But I will put money on him being the biggest thing to happen to WWE next year.

BEST MEN'S INDEPENDENT WRESTLER - HONOURABLE MENTION
TYLER BLACK

Even the haters have to admit that Tyler Black had a stellar year. And even if you don't accept that, he still made headlines. Check out this brief Tyler Black timeline:

- Won the ROH World Championship from Austin Aries at ROH's 8th Anniversary Show
- Successfully defended vs. Roderick Strong & Austin Aries at the Big Bang
- Successfully defended vs. Roderick Strong at Supercard of Honor V (took out three refs between the two of them)
- Successfully defended vs. Davey Richards in the Match of the Year at Death Before Dishonor VIII
- Signed a WWE contract as the ROH World Champion
- Lost the ROH World Title to Roderick Strong at Glory By Honor IX

How can you discount a guy who can draw such polarizing reactions from a crowd at any given time. From the massive pop for his finishing sequence at 8th Anniversary where he won the strap, to the violent boos from the New York and Toronto crowds where NO ONE was on his side. And in the midst of all that, he wrestled in the greatest match of 2010 (in my humble fanboy opinion). AND that's not even counting all of the events in between the iPPVs. Holy.

SO WHY DIDN'T HE GET MY VOTE: While Tyler may have done all that, there where other guys who stepped up and came into their own this year that needed to be recognized. But if Tyler Black shows up on RAW tonight and does something cool then I'll change my vote. Because that'd be crazy.

BEST TAG TEAM & WOMEN'S WRESTLER - HONOURABLE MENTION
THE HART DYNASTY & NATALYA
Photo - WWE.com

Why they are getting an honourable mention should be pretty obvious. For the start of the year, with Uncle Bret by their side, they were the hottest face stable going (maybe the only one... but whatever!). They would get big pops for their wins, and just look super fucking cool walking out together, and with Bret Hart and Natalya at ringside.

But then for the rest of the year, Tyson and DH were barely used, potentially because they had no one to wrestle besides the Uso's, who get crowd reactions like Dana White gets the internet.

For Natalya, it was the opposite. She started the year pretty much as a valet for the Harts. That worked totally well and stuff, but why they weren't using her in the ring as well is beyond me. She is a breath of fresh air in the Divas divison - she uses suplexes! But it wasn't until the past little while that she had the spotlight all to herself.

WHY THEY DIDN'T GET MY VOTE: While all three of them had bright spots throughout the year, consistency was definitely an issue (although that's not their fault in the slightest).

These are the ones that didn't make my ballot (I feel like a big loser calling it a ballot). Want to see what ones could have? Go and put in your votes for the 2010 Brain Buster Awards, and then sometime after the deadline on December 22nd, check out who and what came out on top as voted by you and the Power Poll voters.

Now I'm going to prepare* for the three hour Slammy edition of RAW.

* = get blind drunk.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON WIKIPEDIA: TEAM WWE'S SUMMERSLAM RECORD

Ever wonder what Team WWE's combined record at SummerSlam is? Ever spend an entire morning skipping breakfast to rifle through Wikipedia to find out? No? WELL YES ON BOTH ACCOUNTS FOR ME.

Spanning 29 matches on 21 events in 22 years (no one on the team wrestled at SummerSlam '96, but I'm sure Sycho Sid is available to fill that role), the Superstars of Team WWE know their way around the hottest event of the Summer. However, only one member of the team truly knows his way around actually winning matches at SummerSlam. But before I get to that, let's see what Team WWE has in wins and losses, and how that will stack up against the Nexus' 0-0-0-0-0-0-0 record:

TEAM WWE
18 WINS - 14 LOSSES
Photo - WWE.com

Pretty strong record, above 500. But who's carrying most of the dead weight here? Cena? Bret? Jericho? NOPE.

EDGE
7 WINS - 2 LOSSES

1998: Edge and Sable def. Marc Mero and Jacqueline

1999: The Acolytes def. Edge and Christian et al (Tag Turmoil)

2000: Edge and Christian def. The Hardy Boyz, The Dudley Boyz

2001: Edge def. Lance Storm

2002: Edge def. Eddie Guerrero

2004: Edge def. Chris Jericho, Batista

2005: Edge def. Matt Hardy

2006: Edge def. John Cena

2008: The Undertaker def. Edge


Edge went on an absolute TEAR at SummerSlam, winning six consecutive matches, until running into the Undertaker who kinda has a thing about streaks. But I still think Edge has a fair case for being Captain of Team Cena. And who woulda thunk that Edge's first tag team win at SummerSlam was with Sable?


Let's see what the rest of Team WWE was up to while Edge was beating everyone up (including members of his own team):


BRET "THE HITMAN" HART

5 WINS - 4 LOSSES

Photo - Fuck Yeah Hart Family Tumblr


1988: Demolition def. The Hart Foundation

1989: The Brainbusters def. The Hart Foundation

1990: The Hart Foundation def. Demolition

1991: Bret Hart def. Mr. Perfect

1992: The British Bulldog def. Bret Hart

1993: Jerry Lawler def. Bret Hart (DQ)

1994: Bret Hart def. Owen Hart

1995: Bret Hart def. Isaac Yankem

1997: Bret Hart def. The Undertaker


On his own, Bret's much more impressive at 4-2. Maybe teaming up at SummerSlam isn't a good idea? Maybe he should rethink those jorts too?


JOHN CENA

3 WINS - 3 LOSSES

Photo - WWE.com


2004: John Cena def. Booker T

2005: John Cena def. Jericho

2006: Edge def. John Cena

2007: John Cena def. Randy Orton

2008: Batista def. John Cena

2009: Randy Orton def. John Cena


Cena has only wrestled one match at SummerSlam that wasn't for a Championship, and he lost it. He's also never teamed with anyone at SummerSlam. He's also a Superman type character. All of these things are worth considering, if you think wrestling is real.


CHRIS JERICHO

2 WINS - 5 LOSSES

Photo - WWE.com


2000: Chris Benoit def. Chris Jericho

2001: Chris Jericho def. Rhyno

2002: Ric Flair def. Chris Jericho

2003: Triple H def. Chris Jericho et al (EC)

2004: Edge def. Chris Jericho, Batista

2005: John Cena def. Chris Jericho

2008: Chris Jericho def. Rebecca Michaels' upper lip

2009: JeriShow def. Cryme Tyme


With the worst record of anyone on Team WWE, Jericho probably should've checked his facts before opening his mouth about leading this here supergroup. Although, his only tag match was a successful one, and he does have a history of punching women (heads up Heath Slater).


JOHN MORRISON

1 WIN - 0 LOSSES

Photo - WWE.com


2007: John Morrison def. CM Punk


He's undefeated. This could be the start of something HUGE. Or he could get eliminated first. It's a toss-up.


R-TRUTH

0 WINS - 0 LOSSES

Photo - WWE.com


:(


I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this Nexus storyline isn't a vehicle for R-Truth's big push and he won't end up as the sole survivor. He's probably going to start off his SummerSlam career as being winless, and maybe exploded out of his shoes again.


But this still leaves us without that key 7th member. Who would benefit Team WWE the most?


THE MIZ

0 WINS - 0 LOSSES

Photo - WWE.com


Just like his sometime-nemesis R-Truth, Miz has yet to compete at SummerSlam. He's a wild card for Team WWE, no one knows where his true allegiances lie, and he could find himself more occupied with the Sheamus/Orton match than anything else. Maybe they should consider some more options... like:


THE GREAT KHALI

0 WINS - 3 LOSSES

Photo - WWE.com


2007: Batista def. The Great Khali

2008: Triple H def. The Great Khali

2009: Kane def. The Great Khali


Okay, maybe not. OH I KNOW:


TRIPLE H

8 WINS - 4 LOSSES


1995: Hunter Hearts Helmsley def. Bob Holly

1997: Mankind def. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

1998: Triple H def. The Rock

1999: Mankind def. Triple H, Steve Austin

2000: The Rock def. Kurt Angle, Triple H

2002: Shawn Michaels def. Triple H

2003: Triple H def. all (EC)

2004: Triple H def. Eugene

2006: DX def. The McMahons

2007: Triple H def. King Booker

2008: Triple H def. The Great Khali

2009: DX def. Legacy


YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON THE DESTROYER. In fact, Triple H was giving a series of winks and "heh hehs" when asked yesterday if he would join the team at SummerSlam Axxess, so maybe you really can count on him joining the team. Or maybe you can count on him to join your team, then betray you for reasons he'll explain tomorrow night on RAW. Or maybe you can count on him having something in his eye, I don't know.


All I do know is that it's a good thing John Cena didn't go running to the Hardy Boyz:


MATT AND JEFF HARDY'S COMBINED RECORD

0 WINS - 7 LOSSES (WITH 1 WIN BY DQ, 1 BY FORFEIT ON HEAT TO A ONE LEGGED MAN)

Photo - WWE.com


1999: The Acolytes def. The New Brood

2000: Edge and Christian def. The Hardy Boyz, The Dudley Boyz

2001: Rob Van Dam def. Jeff Hardy

2003: Matt Hardy def. Zach Gowen (via FORFEIT on HEAT so DOESN'T EVEN COUNT)

2004: Kane def. Matt Hardy

2005: Edge def. Matt Hardy

2008: MVP def. Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy def. Mark Henry (BY DQ)

2009: CM Punk def. Jeff Hardy


This post has been brought to you buy this randomly generated Wikipedia article.

Monday, July 26, 2010

07/26/10 RAW THOUGHTS: BUILDING FOR SUMMERSLAM

This show was all about SummerSlam and whether or not Cena's unlikely Avengers can co-exist and whether or not John Morrison and R-Truth's relationship will overcome these troubled times.

MONDAY NIGHT RAW
07/26/10
Photo - WWE.com

QUICK THOUGHTS

- John Cena screaming "DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING TO YOU RIGHT NOW" into Chris Jericho's face was both scary and awesome.


- Randy Orton killed it once again tonight. After a Flawless Victory over Jey Uso, Orton delivered a hilarious bitch-slap/RKO combo to the Miz, followed by a taunt that I thought was just an internet joke (STUPID STUPID STUPID) followed by almost saying MOTHERFUCKER on PG TV.


- Michael Cole has received another manager. Botchamania has received more content.


- I hope Ranjin Singh turns on Khali again next week, then appears weeks later at his side with no explanation. Actually, I don't give a shit, because Ranjin Singh could never truly turn anyone on with those sideburns. LOL?!?!s.d,x


- Is Heath Slater just straight-up stealing Ziggler's finish? First they ban his gloves and now they're letting any old ginger do his move? Dolph Ziggler is getting SCREWED.


- Definitely saw that Nexus clean sweep coming, but that's not a bad thing. All just smart build for the PPV. Less obvious smart build for the PPV: notice how the Nexus were in the corner that faces the camera? Normally that's reserved for the babyfaces in tag matches so they get more face time. But since the Nexus are relatively new to WWE TV and will be on PPV in a few weeks, they get the extra face time.


- I sincerely hope and pray that Bret Hart's last moment in a WWE ring isn't being pinned by Darren Young. If that happens, I bet that in the future if you ask someone "what best sums up the WWE's PG era?" that person will respond by showing you a picture of stupid crappy Darren Young pinning my goddamn hero Bret Hart.


- I love this power that Miz has over Sheamus with his looming idle threats of "Are you kidding me?! Should I cash in right now?!" I hope this dynamic continues and doesn't just end with Miz being the first MITB cash-in failure.


- Jericho playing up the babyface spots in the tag match (top rope dropkicks, that big "C'MON"s to the crowd) was cool to see. At first it felt totally weird after seeing him as a heel for so long. But then it just felt cool. Kinda like when Davey Richards would get fired up in a match where he's still generally a heel.


- No one is more excited for a hot tag than John Cena. Not even the chubby jiggling sweaty kids in the crowd.


- And, as evidenced by his reaction, no one is more scared of Edge's spear than John Cena.

Friday, April 16, 2010

STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS: GO PHOENIX

Because of this, from The WWEUniverse's Twitter:



Photos - WWE.com

Jason LaBarbera is sporting a specially made WrestleMania XXVI mask with Vince McMahon, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker all wrapped around his head.

As a Canadian, I probably should be cheering for Montreal or Ottawa or Vancouver, but since my beloved (read: crappy) Toronto Maple Leafs didn't make the playoffs this year (look out next year!*), I think I'll cheer for the team with the goalie most likely to chokeslam someone (REST IN PEACE, HENRIK ZETTERBERG).

So I'll throw in my prediction for the Phoenix/Detroit series, which Phoenix is leading 1-0 already.

- Phoenix wins game 2 at home
- Detroit comes back to take game 3
- Detroit makes it two in a row and takes game 4, tying the series
- Detroit looks like they might take game 5, but the lights go out and everyone is laid out, and Phoenix wins in OT
- Detroit invades Phoenix's home
- Phoenix calls Detroit a BULLY
- Detroit makes Phoenix face Detroit's lackeys to get to Detroit at the PPV
- Phoenix takes game 7 inside the Hell In A Cell at the Hell In A Cell PPV, San Jose interferes to set up the big Phoenix/San Jose program.
- IWC says Phoenix is not "ready" for the Stanley Cup.

* = what we say every year :(