Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

So once again, this here blog is gonna run dry for an extended period of time. I'm sorry blog, I wish I could give you all the attention you deserve, especially at times like this (not talking about the holidays, somehow, this blog has been seeing more hits over the last week than it ever has - thank you, whoever you are).

But I think I'm going to try and do some serious ghost tweeting while I'm gone. You see, I'll be gone from today until halfway through January, as I'm travelling to Australia, which will be awesome - but isn't exactly a place you go to blog. Yeah.

So, just like I did earlier this year, I'm going to try and set up some tweets to send out while I'm gone. So while I'm unwrapping Christmas presents or digging into the holiday bird or piledriving Koalas a billion miles away, I'll be tweeting about David Otunga's lip-biting promos! Isn't technology grand?!

Have fun without me. But not too much. Here's what I'd read if I were you and I was gone (but don't get addicted to how awesome these blogs are, please come back to me... ME!!!!):

Brandon Stroud's recaps on FanHouse
Jason Mann and Seth Roy's WrestleSpective
Footnotes of Wrestling by K. Sawyer Paul (although I believe he's gone for the holidays as well)

Enjoy. Happy holidays. Merry Chrimbus. See you soon.

Signed,

Mitch,
PIZZABODYSLAM

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

12/20/10 RAW REVIEW: CM PUNK = VOICE OF REASON (AS ALWAYS)

WHY PUNK
WHY
Photo - WWE.com

I know why. He's just looking out for us. He doesn't want us to turn into a bunch of druggies (Jeff Hardy), cowards (Rey Mysterio), or violence condoning horrible human beings (John Cena)! This sentiment was probably put best by Mario of the POW (...and I quote):

"...in his major feuds, CM Punk plays what should be a face role and yet comes off as a perfect villain.

Jeff Hardy: Punk says that a wrestler who rode to the main event with a drug problem shouldn't be hailed and that he needs guidance in order to see the light.

Undertaker: Punk says that Undertaker uses parlor tricks and mind games to win his matches instead of actually trying to beat his competitors in a legitimate, honest way.

Rey Mysterio: Punk says that Rey hides behind a mask, ashamed of what he is, and that Rey also promotes this carefree attitude that could spiral down the path of drug abuse.

John Cena: Punk says that vengeance done unto violence is not the answer and that, no matter how horrendous a human being (or human beings) may be, setting out to end their careers is never the way to go. Basically promoting the idea of "turning the cheek."

And yet, through all of this, he's the bad guy."

Speaking of the bad guy, I'd pay to see a CM Punk/Scott Hall feud in some bleak future where we live in a world where Scott Hall is still alive and CM Punk is crazy enough to wrestle him.

RAW THOUGHTS - 12/20/10
LIKE: EVERYTHING
DISLIKE: NOT MUCH. MELINA I GUESS.
Photo - WWE.com

LIKED
- CM Punk's commentary. For example, him calling John Cena's chair stunt on Barrett "cruel and unusual punishment" was so bang on it's not even funny (it is though because I laughed). Or, to Natalya: "Did one of the Harts just call me crazy?" Or when he kept reprimanding John Cena for his actions. Even when he went "what is going on?" during the fat joke battle, because when he wonders that aloud, I fully believe it's just the truth and he doesn't know what's going on, as if he's an old man that just stumbled behind the booth and put on a headset.
- CM Punk's attack on John Cena. He was going off on him on commentary for so long that when he finally clobbered Cena with that chair, I felt pretty damn satisfied. His reasoning for it (as mentioned above) is genius, and 100% logical. This feud is going to dance in my dreams like visions of sugarplums for hopefully MONTHS.
- The Austin crowd. They were losing their shit the whole night. I can't stress enough how much more fun it is to watch any wrestling show when the crowd is throwing Cody Rhodes' tantrums of joy for everything that happens.
- Daniel Bryan vs. William Regal. Just seeing these two guys walk out to the ring erased the fact that I just watched Alicia Fox and Melina tickle each other for three minutes. What followed was a fantastic match that saw holds and exchanges (European uppercut trading? Mat wrestling? COME ON BAYBAYY) that Monday Night RAW has maybe NEVER seen. What followed that, however, was such a weird scene. So we saw a brilliant, rough, technical bout between a mentor and his pupil, followed by a man being mouth raped by twins with Michael Cole shouting "kiss them! kiss the girls!" into his headset like a horny freshman. ... weird.
- Randy Orton speaking like wrestling's Christian Bale. He can be so breathy and creepy and low-voiced, and pervertedly interested in the WWE Title. I love it.
- The short and super fun mixed tag match. Maryse forcing Santino to Cobra himself was gold. Or, if you're a tag team champion like Santino is, copper.
- LOFL AT THAT CENA WALKING SEGMENT. Accepting flowers, giving them to some girl, taking a drink of some drink, CM Punk going "FLOWERS?!" - why is this RAW so awesome?! Is there a gas leak in here??!?!
- John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler. GREAT match with a crowd that was rioting throughout the entire thing, thanks Vickie Guerrero drawing more heat than maybe ever before. Vickie Guerrero heat might actually real life scientific heat within the building it's so intense. Lawler and Cena were slaying with their fat jokes (let's all laugh at the fat girl!), and Punk's frustration was boiling under his skin. The actual match itself was awesome, and not unlike the Cena/Swagger match that happened some year or two ago on RAW when Swagger was ECW Champ. The action was totally different, but it felt so similar to me in that Cena was taken to the limit by a young guy on the cusp of the main event.
- Part of me is starting to love that Sheamus thinks everything is pathetic.
- Main event six man tag. I don't know what it is, but I love watching 61 year old Jerry Lawler wrestle. I also love watching Randy Orton Angle Slam people, and you can feel people in attendance go... "Angle... slam? hurr?".
- I could go on and on, but really, I just had a fun time watching this show, which is all I ask from the thing that so often take's out it's wiener and slaps me in the face for liking it.

DISLIKED
- Opening segment. The ghosts of Christmas whenever thing was... uh... weird. Were we supposed to believe that Miz set that up? To help illustrate his hate for Orton? Or Riley set it up to surprise Miz? Or... were we just supposed to think that this is a skit we're watching and writers wrote it and wrestling's fake who cares go to sleep.
- Whatever happened in that Divas' triple threat match. Pretty sure Alicia and Melina did about twenty seconds of "k you go here no no here yeah k now get me, no i get you" WHAT THE FUCK.
- Tony Atlas' dream segment with Tamina stepping all over Santino. This was bizarre. And if you don't get the Tony Atlas joke, download the December 13th podcast of Right After Wrestling. Yeah.
- The whole cutting between like three or more backstage vignettes IN A ROW that they've never done before until this year. They're so weird. It makes it feel a billion times more like a sitcom. We're just missing the three second guitar riff and drum fill that divides scenes in Friends.
- Cena dancing and singing. I wish they just cut to the The We Hate Cena guy nodding knowingly.
- HAHA WTF. I think we needed some kind of identifying word in there. "As far as tonight is concerned… The King is DEAD. LONG LIVE THE … KING!!"
- I would say I hated John Cena's comedy routine tonight, but I can't. Because it's all a part of what fuels CM Punk's rage against Cena (much like the rage much of the IWC feels when Cena does his goofy shtick). He's either insufferably goofy or filled with preacher-voice violent rage. And CM Punk is here to put a stop to all of that. Fucking. Sweet.

Monday, December 20, 2010

IDEA: THE PRO WRESTLING EQUIVALENT TO SPORTS' PLAYS OF THE YEAR

Maybe someone's beat me to it, but I'm staking claim to this idea for now.

For all of the year end awards going around now, and everyone recapping the best of 2010, I feel like I haven't seen this yet. I've seen everyone's favourite wrestlers, moments, matches, angles, events, etc. But not wrestling's "plays" of the year.

If someone could edit together a video of the best/most exciting/most unbelievable/most mark out worthy spots of the year and do a top fifty countdown like it was a Best Damn episode or something, I'd watch that shit on repeat.

I feel like this is too obvious for me to be the first to think of it... but I was just watching The Score hype their Top 50 Plays of 2010 countdown, and it got me to thinking of this.

Throw in Claudio UFOing someone, the SSPRKO, and any epic ROH/PWG/Indy exchange that blew people's minds, and you've got yourself a winner of a video. Something to think about.

Okay now everyone shut up while I watch the replay of RAW. NO SPOILERS K

WWE.COM'S TOP 25 MATCHES OF 2010

They actually did a pretty great job. The matches came from all over the year, from PPV, TV, with no real glaring omissions. Maybe DiBiase/Bryan from Survivor Series or Miz/Bryan from Night of Champions, but how many Daniel Bryan matches can you have in this thing? The answer is 25. But let's ignore that for now.

For those of you too lazy to click the link, here's what WWE.com had to say.

THE TOP 25 WWE MATCHES OF 2010
25. Alberto Del Rio VS. Rey Mysterio - SmackDown, Oct. 8th

24. John Cena & Evan Bourne VS. Sheamus & Edge - RAW, May 31st

23. TLC Match for the WWE Championship: The Miz VS. Jerry "The King" Lawler - RAW, Nov. 22nd

22. World Heavyweight Championship: Jack Swagger VS. Rey Mysterio - Money In The Bank

21. Extreme Makeover Match for the WWE Women's Championship: Michelle McCool VS. Beth Phoenix - Extreme Rules

20. RAW Elimination Chamber Match: John Cena VS. Triple H VS. Sheamus VS. Ted DiBiase VS. Kofi Kingston VS. Randy Orton - Elimination Chamber

19. ECW Championship: Christian VS. Ezekiel Jackson - Royal Rumble

18. Falls Count Anywhere: John Morrison VS. Sheamus - RAW, Sept. 13th

17. Chris Jericho VS. Goldust - WWE Superstars, March 4th

16. World Heavyweight Championship: Rey Mysterio VS. The Undertaker - Royal Rumble

15. Submissions Count Anywhere Match for the United States Championship: Daniel Bryan VS. The Miz VS. John Morrison - Hell In A Cell

14. Edge VS. Christian - RAW, May 17th

13. Shawn Michaels VS. Rey Mysterio - SmackDown, Jan. 29th

12. Hell In A Cell Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton VS. Sheamus - Hell In A Cell

11. The 2010 Royal Rumble Match - Royal Rumble

10. Chris Jericho VS. Daniel Bryan - NXT, Feb. 23rd

9. Wade Barrett VS. John Cena - Hell In A Cell

8. SmackDown Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kane VS. Big Show VS. Kofi Kingston VS. Drew McIntyre VS. Christian VS. Matt Hardy VS. Dolph Ziggler VS. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes - Money In The Bank

7. Chris Jericho VS. Evan Bourne - Fatal 4-Way

6. Team WWE VS. The Nexus - SummerSlam

5. SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match: The Undertaker VS. Chris Jericho VS. John Morrison VS. R-Truth VS. CM Punk VS. Rey Mysterio - Elimination Chamber

4. Hair vs. Pledge: CM Punk VS. Rey Mysterio - Extreme Rules

3. I Quit Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena VS. Batista - Over The Limit

2. Streak vs. Career: Shawn Michaels VS. The Undertaker - WrestleMania XXVI

2. (TIE) Champion vs. Champion: Dolph Ziggler VS. Daniel Bryan - Bragging Rights

Pretty shocking tie for first. And there's a tie for most appearances in the top 25, with Mysterio, Cena and Jericho all with 6. And I'd say Evan Bourne is a big standout, considering he made the list twice without being in any of the big multi-man gimmick matches either.

WWE TLC REVIEW: THE SECOND BEST WRESTLING PPV THIS WEEKEND!

I watched two wrestling pay-per-views this weekend. One I watched with a group of friends, having some beers and a shouty good time. The other I watched stone cold sober, by myself, whilst cramming a Pizza Hut pizza into my face. Let's see if it's true that your surroundings can affect your mood!

WWE TLC: TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS
LIKE: SHEAMUS/MORRISON
DISLIKE: $45 FILLER
Photo - WWE.com

Fifty-five if you got the HD feed, which I did not. I wish you could allocate portions of your $55 to parts of the PPV, so the next time they do a PPV, they know what paying customers are paying to see. So I'd give like thirty-five bucks to Sheamus and John Morrison, ten bucks to Alberto Del Rio's plunge to the outside, five to Natalya's improv-splash, five to John Cena's obliteration of Wade Barrett, and I'd ask Kane for whatever he's got in his pockets.

LIKED
- Sheamus vs. John Morrison. This was without question the highlight of the entire show. It was great for every reason you could think of. It was an awesome match, the ladder didn't feel like it was thrown in there and they had to use it (like it can feel in some matches), the selling was perfect, there were big spots, plenty of suspense, and the match made the WWE Title seem even more important based on how long and brutal they went at it. The best part is that I'm not a big Sheamus fan (I don't "laich" him) and John Morrison might be the definition of hit and miss to me. This match had me on the edge of my seat with two guys I normally don't care about. That's the sign of a good match right there.
- Parts of the World Title TLC match. By then the gimmick had worn out it's welcome (two ladder matches and several table breaks earlier in the night), but they still managed to get some good stuff in. It's a shame that it was so obvious that this match was there for the big stunt spots, while Morrison and Sheamus had more of a focus and purpose and stuff.
- Alberto Del Rio's plunge from the top of the ladder to the outside through a table. He looked he hit the ground at warp speed.
- Natalya's obviously improvised splash through Lay-Cool, which made the match/finish WAY BETTER. So awesome. And not to mention Natalya's "YOU GUYYYYYS. YOU GUYYYYYS." after the match.
- Beth Phoenix landing on her head like twice in that match.
- Kofi Kingston's ability to make up new moves with ladders. Not every match has to be about coming up with new shit to do with the ladder, we mostly just want a good match. But when you have an entire PPV devoted to the TLC gimmick (not to mention an annual MITB match AND PPV), someone's going to have to do something different. It seems like Kofi will never run out of parts of the ladder to jump through/attach to himself.
- The seeds being planted for Cena/Punk. At first, I wasn't sure if Cena was the one Punk was talking about in his Slammy acceptance speech. But now it's pretty clear - why else would they have Punk call that match if not to have some more sound bites of CM Punk not approving of John Cena. When this match happens at WrestleMania, it's going to be fucking awesome.
- The double finish to Miz/Orton. Mike Chioda calling the bell after seeing Orton lying in some table shards was pretty ridiculous, even if it did get people to boo Miz out of the friggin' country. But then having Miz STILL outsmart Orton after the restart was awesome, and should set the tone for his reign. I'm excited to see more matches where the Miz has to scramble and figure out what he has to do to hold onto the belt he loves so much.

DISLIKED
- Themed PPVs. It's not like I see numbers on these things or whatever, so I can only speak about their success in terms of watching it as a fan. It sucks knowing that Sheamus/Morrison could've stood out THAT MUCH MORE if this was just a regular PPV with stipulations added naturally, instead of being forced on matches like Miz/Orton and Barrett/Cena. By the end of it, I just didn't care anymore. It took John Cena to line up eight folding chairs and hurl Wade Barrett through them (and then dump a row of chairs onto him (kinda)) to get my attention, which sucks, because I was ready for this match to be exciting.
- John Cena covering Wade Barrett before dropping chairs on him. WTF. Don't do that spot if you can't just DO IT, instead of being like "hold on let me cover you up because this'll hurt and wrestling's fake!" It sure looked cool (if you didn't see the wooden shield). Maybe they can edit out the weird wooden Wade Barrett-protector out for the DVD!
- Kane's Christmas promo. Yeah. He cut a promo on Christmas. The Kane character is getting more goofy by the second. With Kane cutting a promo on Christmas, he's forcing me to think of a Little Red Machine looking out at the kids playing on Christmas all sad while he just sits in his home with Paul Bearer in a Christmas sweater and Kane probably in the same stupid pants he's been wearing forever now.
- The tag match for no reason. And the Big Show Santa Claus promo for no reason. When you buy a PPV on your own (I have friends, I swear!) and you know you're shouldering the entire cost of this thing, it stings that much more when the Big Show comes out for ten minutes handing out copies of his STUPID FUCKING STRAIGHT TO DVD FAILURE MOVIE. I literally got angrier as that sentence went on. And the tag match was just chucked on there, because yeah, you've gotta break up the endless gimmick matches THAT YOU FORCED ON YOURSELVES. WOW I gotta keep my rage in check. But seriously. If we're paying any kind of money for something, I'd appreciate it if we got some surprises on the card that were at least worth getting. Like, for example, the Daniel Bryan/Ted DiBiase dark match that went on before the PPV. Anyway. Frig.
- Big Show calling Cody Rhodes unfunny. That statement is so backwards that I want to punch a hole through my own face and sell it with a back bump.
- The weird running gag with Nexus and Cena backstage. "haaaay!"
- Most of Miz/Orton. I almost forgot it happened. Maybe it's because...
- It was a Tables match. All that the announcers talked about during the tables match was how dumb tables matches are. At least with Ladder matches, there's a logical goal. Climb the ladder and be the first to retrieve (or "gain custody" if you're Tony Chimel) the belt/contract/wedding ring, whatever. With a tables match, you're just waiting for the stunt. And the wrestlers know how dumb it is - you could just fall through a table and all of a sudden you're not the best wrestler in the world anymore. The idea that Miz could drag Orton onto some table shards, point the referee in the right direction and he wins, is dumb. I'm glad they overturned it for the sake of Mike Chioda's reputation (yeah I am concerned about a referee's reputation in a fake sport). With the TLC PPV, all of the other matches seem to have a point (although the Chairs match doesn't really make total sense either), and aren't constantly being argued by announcers and wrestlers how stupid they are. Tables matches should've been left behind with the Attitude Era. I wish I could articulate my point better. But I can't because my brain has melted from watching naked men pretend to fight each other all day every day.

The last thing I will say is this. I expected this PPV to completely bomb with me considering I watched Final Battle the night before. But thanks to John Morrison and Sheamus, this review isn't a total top-to-bottom trashing of TLC. But it still fell short of what ROH did on Saturday, because c'mon guys, that shit was crazy.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

MOMENTS 2010: THE HEARTBREAK KID SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

Admit it. You cried too.



I will be a man and say I teared up. I teared up even more when Triple H surprised Shawn at the top of the ramp and they embraced like Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron in Sweet November. Between this video and these pictures, how could there be a dry eye anywhere in the wrestling world?!

Photo - WWE.com

Photo - WWE.com


This promo wasn't even a promo, so I don't know why I'm calling it a promo. But whatever you want to call it, it was goddamned beautiful and I don't care who knows it. It was also the beginning of the realest retirement in wrestling history, because it's still going.

Shawn Michaels ended his career with three of the greatest moments he's ever been a part of - one being this speech, the other being his match with the Undertaker, and the last being his hug with Bret Hart on RAW. No one knows how to close like the Heartbreak Kid, that's for sure.

ROH FINAL BATTLE 2010 SUMMED UP IN ONE PICTURE


I love the guy holding his buddy's arm.

There's still a chance that I'll do a full-on Final Battle review, but I might want to watch the show a second time since I was too busy falling off the couch and to my knees during the main event to really pay attention to details.

And y'know, maybe that's the best way to review it. Not go through and pick through every little thing, but just count how many times I involuntarily screamed or fell down during the show. Hmm.

Either way the verdict is the same - show of the year.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

LETDOWNS 2010: THE NEXUS AS "RENEGADES"

Monday, June 7th, 2010. The craziest FUCKING thing the WWE has done in years happened. This:


After two solid years of PG programming lacking any kind of edge or true realism (save for the epic Jericho/Michaels, which happened pretty much right smack dab in the middle of the big switch to PG), the Nexus was born in the realest angle of all time. Or so it felt. Between Triple H's over dramatized home invasion/hunt for Randy Orton, and countless John Cena comedy feuds, it felt like we hadn't seen anything "real" in a long time.

And in came the Nexus. Wade Barrett and the seven other NXT Season One rookies eerily appeared, one by one, at ringside on RAW that fateful night. What followed was one of the most intense attack angles in WWE history. They took out everyone. Wrestlers, announcers, security, staff, you name it. They tore up the set, broke down the ring - and the glorious soundtrack to it all was the silence from the announcers' headsets and the shrieks from the crowd.

What made it especially terrifying (I was scared, okay? I peed a little. Alright, a lot.) was that these were familiar faces. We just watched weeks of these goofs flipping their hair and hanging out with Matt Hardy and trying to get terrible catchphrases over on NXT. But that night they were different. They were scary. Why were they so crazy?! What happened to the hair flipping?! It was like a creepy alternate universe for one night only.

Yep. One night. Because in the weeks and months that followed, we didn't get this scary, show-destroying "renegade" group. We got something different.

Like David Otunga singing on the George Lopez Show.


Or tweets from the Nexus Twitter about all the sweet deals we can get!


Or countless sitcom-like backstage segments where the Nexus talked and emoted like the cameras weren't there. I can't take David Otunga's lip-biting anymore. What the FUCK happened?

I will concede that sure, maybe it wasn't possible to give Nexus that same presence they initially had for an entire year. But did they have to get WWE brand t-shirts and theme music and a titantronand a catchphrase so quickly? Not to mention the fact that they went back to just the same old beatdowns that every other heel does in the company.

It's just such a change from how they debuted. I wish there was a way for them to truly commit to their characters. The Nexus could've been true renegades, and it would've been awesome. It seems like they tried at first. Even the second beatdown they did felt crazier than normal, run of the mill WWE beatdowns. And there was a rumour that they were told to not give autographs to fans and stuff - that's good enough for me! Just stick with that! But no, they had to get their stupid fucking theme music and lose everything that was ever special about them.

The John Cena/Nexus feud had some of the most memorable and goosebump-worthy moments of the year for me. But the feud also asked you to look the other way on so many small, logical details. I feel like if the Nexus were treated as true renegades, and kept as scary and unpredictable as they were that first night, it would've been a lot easier to overlook John Cena reading a novelty-sized scroll and the fact that the GM would ever legitimately agree to allowing Wade Barrett try and force John Cena to cheat for him or else he gets fired - think about that, that makes no sense.

Sure, the stipulation is that John Cena has to do what Wade Barrett says, get him water, raise his hand in the dressing room to make him feel good, whatever. But once it's "help me cheat to beat Randy Orton for the title" shouldn't the GM be like "uh, no, because that's breaking the rules and I'm the GM and won't allow that, or at the very least I won't fire John Cena for not helping you break the rules." I get that they wanted to put John Cena in a situation where he had to make a tough decision, and it's admirable that they wanted to do anything with him that wasn't about John Cena rising up and toppling insurmountable odds (it sure made for some epic video packages and fan reactions), but there was some definite plotholes that were hard to ignore once you thought of them.

WOW I've gone on forever about this. The Cena/Nexus feud wasn't even supposed to be the main focus of this post. This is about the Nexus as "renegades" and that's it.

Anyway, I'm going to cap this off with an excerpt from one of my own RAW reviews from earlier this year, where I think I summed up what I'm feeling right now better than I just did:

I still feel like it would make sense to call the Nexus a renegade group if they didn't have their own graphics and t-shirts and titantron videos and shitty music shit. If they're going to be a renegade group, keep them that way. Make it truly seem like they don't belong. Don't create Nexus brand crap. Have them come out to complete silence. Think about logic and believability before you think about selling a fucking t-shirt. Maybe when you do that, you'll sell more everything everywhere. Instead of just being like "WELP HE NEEDS A T-SHIRT" because everyone has one, think about the fact that these guys are called (by YOUR announcers!) a RENEGADE GROUP. Not a PRETEND RENEGADE GROUP JUST KIDDING GIVE US YOUR MONEY.

And I won't even accept the idea that it makes sense because they can sell the shirt to those smarks who oppose Cena and stuff, because it's not like that at all. That idea made sense for when Miz had his anti-Cena shirt. Then you sell that shirt to the anti-Cena smarks and you sell the Cena shirt to the Cena marks and everyone in the world has a WWE shirt. This needs to be kept as a "hey, these guys are fucking with our shit and we can't get rid of them and they're the scariest group ever created" not "hey these guys are fucking with our shit let's make them some t-shirts."

A RING OF HONOR FINAL BATTLE NON-PREVIEW PREVIEW

I don't think I need to even say anything.

ROH has posted a full preview on their site. There's a Final Battle minisite with all of the hype videos lined up for you to watch. TH of The Wrestling Blog did an extensive write-up for the iPPV. I've talked at length about the Kevin Steen/El Generico feud of the year. There is literally nothing left to be said.

But I will say this. There is no other event, no other promotion, no other anything that can elicit the same feeling you get when you watch (and I'm going to sound like a total dork saying this)... MMA.

And I don't even mean that in the way that ROH brings the same athleticism and realism and hard-hitting action as an MMA fight. What I'm talking about is definitely harder to quantify, but I'm going to try anyway.

It's more about the feeling that it legitimately matters who is going to win. Like there are real consequences. And not only that, but there's a sense of unpredictability, like at any moment any guy could pull out the win with one move. It's a feeling of nervousness and suspense that isn't replicated anywhere else.

That's the best I can do. It's really hard to explain without actually seeing it, like I'm sure most of you who have seen it know what I'm talking about. Or maybe you don't know what I'm talking about and I'm the only nerd who gets this giddy for a wrestling show. But it's not just any wrestling show, it's one that happens like only four times a year which makes it feel CRAZY hyped up and awesome and now I'm babbling on again like the giddy nerd I am.

I'll stop before I ruin it for anybody. Order this show.

WWE PPV PREDICTION GAME: WWE TLC: TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS

Make your picks in the comments section below.

WWE TLC: TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS (EVENT #7)
PICK DEADLINE: SUNDAY, DECEMBER 19TH - 7:59:59 P.M. (EASTERN TIME)

There are six matches on Sunday. You have the numbers 1-6 to assign as confidence points to your picks - if your prediction is correct, you earn that number of points. You cannot use the same number twice. Any match added DURING the PPV will not count.

WWE TLC: TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS
FINAL CARD
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP - TABLES MATCH
The Miz (c)
VS.
Randy Orton

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP - TLC MATCH
Kane (c)
VS.
"The Rated R Superstar" Edge
VS.
Rey Mysterio
VS.
Alberto Del Rio

CHAIRS MATCH
Wade Barrett
VS.
John Cena

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP - LADDER MATCH
Dolph Ziggler (c)
VS.
Kofi Kingston
VS.
Jack Swagger

#1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE WWE TITLE - LADDER MATCH
John Morrison
VS.
Sheamus

DIVAS TAG TEAM TABLES MATCH
Natalya & Beth Phoenix
VS.
Team Lay-Cool

PIZZABODYSLAM'S PICKS
6 - The Miz
5 - Natalya/Phoenix
4 - John Morrison
3 - John Cena
2 - Kofi Kingston
1 - Kane

You can view the current standings here.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

THE FUTURE ENDEAVORS POWER POLL: 12/16/10

Even though the switch happened a while ago, this is my first time participating in the Future Endeavors Power Poll (formerly the WrestleSpective Power Poll).

Every week I, along with several other wrestling blogs (including my blogging Bro Shiozaki, TH of The Wrestling Blog), will be sending in my top ten wrestlers to Don Owens of Future Endeavors. My votes are compiled with those of the other bloggers and that gives us the Power Poll. Here's this week's rankings (go to Future Endeavors to view the official write-up, and check out the Future Endeavors Podcast, where this week you can win tickets to the Royal Rumble (holy sweet).

NUMBER ONE THIS WEEK
THE MIZ
Photo - WWE.com

NOT RANKED THIS WEEK
THE GRINCH

FUTURE ENDEAVORS POWER POLL: 12/16/10
1. The Miz
2. John Cena
3. Randy Orton
4. Wade Barrett
5. Edge
6. Alberto Del Rio
7. Rey Mysterio
8. Sheamus
9. John Morrison
10. Kane

PIZZABODYSLAM POWER POLL VOTES: 12/16/10
1. The Miz
- IN KAYFABE: Def. Rey Mysterio on RAW; took candy from a baby (or a Slammy from a young girl, whatever you prefer); set up the table that David Arquette was put through.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: In exchange for the most priceless reaction ever captured on WWE TV (and maybe the most meme'd WWE image in recent memory), The Miz made that girl's effing year; couldn't even begin to contain his excitement of being WWE Champion when he appeared on Jimmy Fallon; is making the best out of a very forced and unnecessary table stipulation.

2. John Cena
- IN KAYFABE: Was rehired! (I was hoping for weeks of skits where John Cena tried to get hired by different departments in the WWE); def. David Otunga on RAW; beat David Otunga with a steel chair for a Bret Hart amount of time; won two Slammys: the "Holy $%^$ (insert your own vulgarity) Move of the Year" Award, and Superstar of the Year.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: Did a good job of promoting his _______ match with Wade Barrett by using a _______ on David Otunga, while Wade Barrett posed with a ________; (this formula can and will be applied to any themed PPV in the future).

3. Randy Orton
- IN KAYFABE: Def. Alex Riley and former WCW World Heavyweight Champion Big Van Vader David Arquette in a handicap match on RAW; put David Arquette through a table via deadlift powerbomb.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: Was ROBBED (and he knows it) of the Holy Rusted Metal Batman Move of the Year Slammy for his Shooting Star Press interrupting RKO; Did a good job of promoting his _______ match with The Miz by using a _______ on David Arquette, while The Miz posed with a ________; (okay this one didn't work as well, but you catch my drift).

4. Edge
- IN KAYFABE: Teamed with Rey Mysterio to defeat Alberto Del Rio in a handicap match on Smackdown!; def. Jack Swagger on RAW; presented and won the Slammy for the "Oh Snap! Meltdown of the Year"; was an accomplice in the murder of Paul Bearer.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: Was hilarious with Christian on RAW (plus, EDGE AND CHRISTIAN!!); was hilarious with Paul Bearer and Kane on Smackdown and by hilarious I mean the exact opposite like Matt Striker would say.

5. Dolph Ziggler
- IN KAYFABE: Had a fantastic Intercontinental Title defence against Kofi Kingston on Smackdown!; teamed with Ted DiBiase in a losing effort against Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston on RAW.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: Did anyone else notice the presence of mind of Dolph Ziggler in that tag match? Ted DiBiase rolled out of the ring, clearly injured (or maybe he just needed a quick peek up Maryse's skirt, I don't know) while Daniel Bryan was making the hot tag to Kofi. With DiBiase the legal man and nowhere to be found, Ziggler hit the ring and took all of Kofi's house of fire spots, including the pinfall, which he clearly was NOT supposed to take, given that Ted DiBiase did everything he could to try and break it up. Kudos to that referee for just counting the fall with Ziggler as the illegal man, in lieu of a much more awkward finish. Not only that but Ziggler continues to be one of the most reliable guys in terms of putting on a good match. He bumps like Shawn Michaels if all of Shawn Michaels' body was on fire. If that makes sense. Okay that's enough. I've used enough insider terms for this post. Maybe for the week. MOVING ON

6. Jack Swagger
- IN KAYFABE: Def. Kaval on Smackdown!; def. by Edge on RAW; cost Kofi Kingston the Intercontinental Championship.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: I wish he was still with the Eagle.

7. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes
- IN KAYFABE: Def. Mark Henry on RAW; could not break the Masterlock in the Masterlock Challenge.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: He is a ticking time bomb of awesome. I mean he's already awesome, what with his Ric Flair selling of his face being touched, his mirrored jacket that he DEMANDS Tony Chimel to hold while he checks for bumps and scratches, and of course his attempt at filing down Chris Masters' nails. But what I mean is this - how long before we get a Goldust/Cody feud? That would easily tear the house down in every aspect, be it promos, matches, everything. And we're also just moments away from any feud that will be built around fucking up Cody's face - give this guy a black eye and he'll sell it like a maniac. I really feel like next year will be his year.

8. Kofi Kingston
- IN KAYFABE: Def. Dolph Ziggler by DQ on Smackdown - unable to capture the IC strap, thanks to Jack Swagger; teamed with Daniel Bryan to defeat Ted DiBiase and Dolph Ziggler on RAW; interrupted CM Punk's MOMENT.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: Had an awesome match with Ziggler; tore it up with the American Dragon against DiBiase and Ziggler; didn't do much else really... uh, yeah.

9. Alberto Del Rio
- IN KAYFABE: Def. by Edge and Rey Mysterio when stupid Kane BETRAYED HIM. STUPID KANE; showed up on RAW to cost Rey Mysterio a win against The Miz... but you already knew that.
- OUT OF KAYFABE: Him showing up on RAW for two seconds to cost Rey Mysterio a match is better than half the shit that happens on RAW.

10. Daniel Bryan
- IN KAYFABE: Teamed with Kofi Kingston to defeat Dolph Ziggler and Ted DiBiase; won a Slammy for what he got fired for!
- OUT OF KAYFABE: Debuted a new shirt. Uh... that's... that's all. HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON PEOPLE. He deserves my vote. Although I was very close to giving it to CM Punk for his commentary and Slammy acceptance speech. I'm giddy with anticipation for whatever feud CM Punk is keeping a secret from us right now. Who's he talkin' about? I assumed at first Daniel Bryan, since they were going to feud before he got injured (or so goes the rumour), but Brandon Stroud is convinced that it's John Cena, with John Cena "wronging" CM Punk by spilling his diet soda. Sign me up for either of those and let's call it a year.

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