NOW JUST WHERE THE HECK DID I PUT MY SMILE? CAN'T FIND THAT THING ANYWHERE

Yes, it's that time again. I'll be taking another leave of absence. It'll be one month until you see fresh ink (or whatever this stuff is made of) on this blog again (although, there is always that very slim chance that I'll chime in with something if I find the time (and the smile)).

As always, when I return I'll most likely do a Since I've Been Gone post, which I really should add to my Recurring Features section. They're fun to do, and hopefully to read too.

While I'm gone, here are some things to keep your wrestling libido strong and healthy:

FAIR TO FLAIR

First and foremost, be Fair To Flair. There will be tons of new stuff going up while I'm gone, including the Wrestlespective Radio podcast series that covers the final matches of every single WrestleMania, one episode a day. That's 26 podcasts in 26 days, with me featured on three of them (XIV, XX, XXV). So even though I'm gone, you can still hear my voice. You can also hear my voice if you place your ear up against a conch shell.

CHECK OUT: Fair To Flair, Wrestlespective, Kick-Out!! Wrestling, Footnotes of Wrestling

THE WRESTLING BLOG

You can always count on my BroBro Brazil (have we used that one yet? My brain is shrivelling up from thinking of so many) TH of The Wrestling Blog to have all of your pro wrestling needs taken care of. He is an animal when it comes to banging posts out, and he very well may be the most thorough wrestling blogger out there, covering everything from WWE and TNA all the way down to the most obscure indies. He's currently accepting ballots for the A1W 100, which you can read all about here.

CHECK OUT: The Wrestling Blog, Tom Holzerman on Twitter, A1W 100

BRANDON STROUD

Normally this is where I would point you to where I go to read hilarious wrestling recaps and blogs, which would be Brandon Stroud's posts on AOL FanHouse. However, he seems to be done there. Thankfully, I found him on Twitter, but it appears that he doesn't have a wrestling-related thing on the go. I feel like I'm following him around the Internet like a weird kind of stalker who isn't looking for sex, just laughter. I want my laughter.

CHECK OUT: Brandon Stroud on Twitter, his Vintage Promo series on FanHouse, his posts at Progressive Boink (some of which have to do with wrestling, most don't), and finally everything he's done at FanHouse

TAPE MACHINES ARE ROLLING

I recently found this blog, I think, thanks to Jason Mann. It's funny and honest, which I find to be a rare quality in wrestling blogs. Scott and Brent write about wrestling today, and review wrestling from the past. Just read the site description and try and tell me you don't want to go there right now:

Brent and Scott are young midwestern men in their late 20s and they love professional wrestling. Scott leans heavily toward 80s-early 90s Crockett/WCW, as well as World Class. Brent likes everything Bill Watts ever did. They both sided mostly with WCW during the legit years of The Monday Night Wars. They have a fondness for ECW if not a love. There's nothing stopping them from watching Japanese wrestling, but they probably won't. JOIN THEM IN LIFE!

CHECK OUT: Tape Machines Are Rolling, Scott on Twitter

FLAIR CHOP ILLUSTRATED - THE OLD SCHOOL WRESTLING PODCAST

I'm a little late getting on the Flair Chop choo-choo, but listening to the latest podcast (their review of The Main Event from Feb. 5th, 1988) had me hooked. I'd heard a few other episodes before, but the old 80's commercials (with Jason and Justine Bateman) had me busting a gut. Love stuff like that. Their review was also a lot of fun to listen to. I fear that I might get in shit with Jason considering I'm promoting another old-school wrestling podcast other than his (in fact, they're in a very serious podcast war at the moment), but I'll stick my neck out just this once. I'M NOT A GUTLESS INDIVIDUAL.

CHECK OUT: The Old School Wrestling Podcast, and Black Cat (of the podcast) on Twitter

And finally, some of my favourite Tumblr blogs that you should check out:

- We Watch Wrestling

- Drop Toehold

- Turnbuckle Zine

- Fuck Yeah Wrestling

- On Wrestling

- Where's Randy Savage?

- And really, anyone I reblog on my tumblr.

There's too many to mention, I know I've forgot some. That's the great thing about Tumblr though - there's no shortage of great wrestling blogs.

I think that's more than enough. I could say more (Colt Cabana's Art of Wrestling podcast, Dave Lagana's I Want Wrestling podcasts - Formerly Creative, 15 Minutes, Press The Press) but I am positive you already know about and listen to them. If you don't, I am very perplexed as to how you could find me but not them.

And I'll also be scheduling some tweets ahead of time, pointing you to some of my favourite older posts and what have you.

So yeah, that's uh... that's a lot of homework I just assigned.

Keep fit and have fun you guys.

Sincerely,

PIZZABODYSLAM

THE 2/22 ROH VIDEOWIRE: PREVIEWING THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

This weekend, Ring of Honor is celebrating their 9th anniversary with two shows - tonight in Dayton, and tomorrow in Chicago (and live on iPPV) for their actual 9th Anniversary Show. Both cards are pretty stacked, and considering that in the past while they've lost Kevin Steen, Austin Aries, Tyler Black, Delirious, Necro Butcher and others, that is impressive. Here's what's in the final VideoWire before the big event on Saturday.

ROH 02/22/11 VIDEOWIRE

PREVIEWING THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

IN THIS VIDEO

- ROH World Champion Roderick Strong seals his promo with a kiss.

- Christopher Daniels and Eddie Edwards put over the importance of being a champion in Ring of Honor. Their match on Saturday will no doubt be a highlight for the weekend.

- The Kings of Wrestling don't think Kenny King is "tough enough" to hang with the ROH World Tag Team Champions.

- Rhett Titus and Kenny King, the All Night Express, RAP THEIR PROMO. NOT EVEN JOKING. DYING OVER HERE. Titus has got FLOW.

- Steve Corino turning over a new leaf. I love this story. Seeing Corino struggling to be the ultimate good guy is both hilarious, and maybe something that hasn't really been done before (someone will probably correct me on that). His "I can have a five star match... if you give me a two star curve" comment cracked me up. So did his teasing of the thumb in the bum. That really... cracked... me up. I hate myself.

- Truth Martini and Michael Elgin speak. Truth Martini might be the most hate-able man in wrestling. Whenever I see him, I want to punch him in the face. Then, I stop to think about how great he is at being a heel and looking like a guy you want to punch in the face. But then I still want to punch him in the face. And I want to punch myself in the face for thinking about Truth Martini for this long.

- Homicide brings the real talk to Roderick Strong. He also says he might do the "Homicide Shuffle" with Colt Cabana in Chicago, but he could say anything and I'd be scared.

No sign of the Briscoes or Haas and Benjamin, but an entertaining twenty minutes nonetheless.

Here are the cards, hype and tweets for this weekend.

Friday, February 25th

DAYTON, OHIO - "WORLD'S GREATEST"

Tickets + Info

SIX MAN MAIN EVENT - "WORLD'S GREATEST" COLLIDE

ROH World Champion Roderick Strong

ROH World Tag Team Champions The Kings of Wrestling

VS.

Davey Richards

"Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team" Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin

TOP CONTENDERS COLLIDE

Homicide VS. El Generico

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST FINALS REMATCH

Eddie Edwards VS. Kenny King

SPECIAL CHALLENGE

Michael Elgin VS. ROH World TV Champion Christopher Daniels

SPECIAL ATTRACTION #1

Jay Briscoe VS. Kyle O'Reilly

SPECIAL ATTRACTION #2

Mark Briscoe VS. "The Prodigy" Mike Bennett

FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL

Colt Cabana

VS.

Rhett Titus

VS.

Mike Mondo

VS.

Andy "Right Leg" Ridge

TAG TEAM ACTION

The Bravado Brothers VS. Steve Corino & Grizzly Redwood

Saturday, February 26th

CHICAGO RIDGE, IL - "9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW"

Tickets + Info - ORDER NOW at GoFightLive

ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH - NO HOLDS BARRED BARRIO STREET FIGHT

Roderick Strong defends VS. Homicide

ROH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

"The Kings of Wrestling" Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli

defend VS.

"The All Night Express" Rhett Titus & Kenny King

ROH WORLD TV CHAMPIONSHIP - 2/3 FALLS

Christopher Daniels defends VS. Eddie Edwards

FIRST TIME EVER - DREAM TAG TEAM MATCH

"The Briscoes" Jay & Mark

VS.

"Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team" Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION

Colt Cabana VS. Davey Richards

SPECIAL CHALLENGE MATCH

Michael Elgin VS. El Generico

WOMEN OF HONOR

Sara Del Rey VS. MsChif

FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL

Steve Corino

VS.

Kyle O'Reilly

VS.

Grizzly Redwood

VS.

"The Prodigy" Mike Bennett

TWEETS FOR THIS WEEKEND'S SHOWS

@ROHonHDNet

@Sheltyb803

@ccastagnoli

@theChrisHero

@SteveCorino

And finally, here are five reasons why you should order this show:

1. ROH's track record. They have literally never let me down when ordering one of their iPPVs.

2. Tag Team Wrestling. Two of the potential best matches on this card are tag team matches. You don't get that anywhere else.

3. GoFightLive allows you to watch at anytime. So even if you're someone who's looking to watch UFC that night, you can still get 9th Anniversary Show as soon as the next day (usually).

4. Christopher Daniels vs. Eddie Edwards. Their match at Supercard of Honor V was a phenomenal showcase of technical wrestling. It was one of those matches that makes you forget the pro wrestling is two guys cooperating, not two guys trying to out-wrestle each other. This match has the potential to steal the entire weekend to me.

5. There is selling.

This last point is a rebuttal to my good buddy TH over at The Wrestling Blog. He has been doing a series of posts titled "Intro to Match Analysis," and the latest one is all about selling. TH has this to say:

"Whenever I see a match featuring Shingo Tagaki or Davey Richards, and all they do is kick the other guy, take kicks and move around like nothing's wrong, it only reinforces that vile, four-lettered "f" word that haters of the artform bandy about like a sharp blade around the soft flesh of our fandom. Fake."

Now TH, we're still bros and all, but I can't help myself here.

I think a lot of people who write about wrestling on the internet have a list of keywords in their head when they watch wrestling. Where these keywords came from, I don't know. But typically these words are "storytelling," "psychology," and "selling." I think a lot of us love to use these words, and we also use these words incorrectly, probably because we just watch wrestling and that's it. I'm certainly not saying I know what these words mean more than anybody else, I don't. But I feel the need to defend Davey Richards and, similarly, ROH for a second.

I am not an authority on the matter AT ALL. I watch a lot of wrestling and love it and will be a fan until I die (probably of watching too much wrestling). I can watch Davey Richards and KENTA kick each other's faces off in a moment of "fighting spirit" and I can watch John Cena sell a stomp for forty-five seconds. The difference is that I see these two moments as two separate worlds.

I just see it as ROH (or Dragon Gate) putting themselves over as the "best wrestling in the world" and therefore you need to do more to their top guys to put them out. It's not a question of selling, it's a question of style. And if John Cena and Randy Orton started trading sequences of big moves like Roddy Strong hitting a Gutbuster, then a Sick Kick, then a Gibson Driver all in the span of three seconds, then yeah, that wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. It's the style of the promotion that drives the selling. To me. I don't know. Who the fuck am I to say. I've seen Rich Franklin knock Chuck Liddell out with a broken arm without flinching, so who knows what amount of selling is enough or not enough to make any kind of pro wrestling seem "real."

I feel dumber for writing this. But, I'd like to hear what TH has to say. I know he's a fan of ROH (and I turned this into an ROH-related argument only because he mentioned Davey, and I'm talking 9th Anniversary stuff here), although this seems to be more directed at Dragon Gate, which has the volume turned up even more on the "unbelievable" style of wrestling/selling/whatever you want to call it.

Anyway, with that said... E-FIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHT!

I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

So once again, this here blog is gonna run dry for an extended period of time. I'm sorry blog, I wish I could give you all the attention you deserve, especially at times like this (not talking about the holidays, somehow, this blog has been seeing more hits over the last week than it ever has - thank you, whoever you are).

But I think I'm going to try and do some serious ghost tweeting while I'm gone. You see, I'll be gone from today until halfway through January, as I'm travelling to Australia, which will be awesome - but isn't exactly a place you go to blog. Yeah.

So, just like I did earlier this year, I'm going to try and set up some tweets to send out while I'm gone. So while I'm unwrapping Christmas presents or digging into the holiday bird or piledriving Koalas a billion miles away, I'll be tweeting about David Otunga's lip-biting promos! Isn't technology grand?!

Have fun without me. But not too much. Here's what I'd read if I were you and I was gone (but don't get addicted to how awesome these blogs are, please come back to me... ME!!!!):

Brandon Stroud's recaps on FanHouse

TH's The Wrestling Blog

Jason Mann and Seth Roy's WrestleSpective

Footnotes of Wrestling by K. Sawyer Paul (although I believe he's gone for the holidays as well)

Enjoy. Happy holidays. Merry Chrimbus. See you soon.

Signed,

Mitch,

PIZZABODYSLAM

I'M GOING AWAY TO FIND MY SMILE (FOR LIKE A WEEK)

Well there's uh, one thing about me is I can't do anything halfway and I, and I come here and I hear the people and they chant uh, TH's name or they chant Steve's name or they chant a lot of people's names, and one thing's for sure, you're going to have all of that in the future, um, and that's what I want for PIZZABODYSLAM fans. In spite of, uh, what people may think about me, what I've always wanted for all these people is, is for them to have a good time reading my blog and to enjoy themselves. I've always tried to be the one to provide it whether it was on the funny side or the smarky side. But what was always important to me was the writing, was the writing so that these people, each time they reached into their bookmarks, they clicked on my name, they didn't regret it because they knew that if they saw my name in the URL they could laugh, they could sit and agree or disagree and they could do whatever they wanted as long as they had a good time.

I know we're in the middle of a time where opinionated writing is real big here in the IWC, and unfortunately all I've got right now for you is a lot of sorrow, a lot of tears, and a lot of emotion. I don't have any opinionated writing for anybody, so I guess, here you go, here's your blog (hands blog over to Vince).

And I have you to thank, and I have everybody here to thanks, and it means a lot to me and, uh, I'm gonna go to my cottage now. Okay? (hugs Vince and Gorilla Monsoon).

fin

Guys, never fear. I'll find my smile. In like a week. Just going to a cottage, as you may have guessed from my Shawn Michaels' speech. Funnily enough, I got the idea to write this absurd smile-losing speech about going away for a week and thought it'd be funny if I used the exact wording that Shawn did, but I was too lazy to transcribe it myself and surely no one has actually already done that, right? WRONG - you can count on the internet for ANYTHING! Thanks to Forever Shawn for already transcribing this speech for some unknown reason.

I'll be gone until the 29th, but, in my place, as you may have noticed me mention on Twitter, I'll be scheduling tweets ahead of time. So I will be still active, but it'll be like a ghost or time travel or some crazy shit.

I love pre-scheduling tweets (thank you HootSuite!). It's ridiculously fun and I don't even know why. So I'll be tweeting old blogs and new thoughts and all kinds of stuff while I'm takin' 'er easy at the old cottage. It's good to know that I can still talk about wrestling on the internet while I'm half in the bag in a canoe somewhere. Science knows no bounds!

So no new content on the blog for about a week, but plenty of tweets and reblogs and fake reactions to what's going on on RAW or whatever show, all from my Twitter feed.

Vince McMahon: Ladies and gentlemen... SHAWN MICHAELS PIZZABODYSLAM!!

JR: Well I'll tell ya folks, 25 years I've been doing this and I... I've never, I have never had the pain in my gut that I have right now. Good luck to you. Good luck to you.

THE WRESTLE SPECTIVE POWER POLL: 08/04/10

Every week I, along with several other wrestling blogs (including my blogging Angelina Brolie, TH of The Wrestling Blog), will be sending in my top ten wrestlers to WrestleSpective. My votes are compiled with those of the other bloggers and that gives us the Power Poll. Here's this week's rankings (go to WrestleSpective to view the full write-up, and check out all of the other awesome wrestling content there - you'll find it especially awesome if you're a stat-geek (or any other specific-type-of-wrestling geek) like me):

NUMBER ONE THIS WEEK

RANDY ORTON

Photo - WWE.com

NOT RANKED THIS WEEK

VINNY NERO

Credit goes to caw is jericho of the Other Feds board on GameFAQs for finding this weirdo

WRESTLESPECTIVE POWER POLL: 08/04/10

1. Randy Orton (2)

2. Kane (4)

3. Sheamus (3)

4. John Cena (7)

5. The Miz (1)

6. Chris Jericho (8)

7. Rey Mysterio (5)

8. Rob Van Dam (6)

9. Wade Barrett (10)

10. CM Punk (NR)

PIZZABODYSLAM POWER POLL VOTES: 08/04/10

1. Randy Orton

- IN KAYFABE: Def. United States Champion The Miz; kept Sheamus at bay with that sexual-in-a-rapey-way Viper-coiling mat-pounding shoulder-separating taunt.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: No one is hotter than Orton right now. Did you see how the crowd responded to that RKO? I think they broke a world record for most people in mid-air at one time. They were freaking out!

2. John Cena

- IN KAYFABE: Beat Chris Jericho so bad he quit when he wasn't even in a move; beat Chris Jericho so bad he quit Team Cena (ahem, I mean "Edge Presents TEAM JERICHO Featuring Cena plus special guest Bret Hart"); beat Chris Jericho so bad he rekindled his tag team bromance with Edge.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Had a great match with Jericho that was very close to telling a really clever story; used his serious voice more than his yelly voice; vowed to help his younger brother become an amateur wrestler with the help of Danny Glover.

3. CM Punk

- IN KAYFABE: Had his Society drinkin' that kool-aid (virgin kool-aid) and motivated them to take out that fat drooly thorn in their side, the Big Show.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Cut the promo of the week on Smackdown!; made those stomps on Big Show's swollen hand look LEGIT (although Matt Striker tried to pass off Show's swollen knuckles as the damage done by the SES, but we all know that his big old catcher's mitt always looks that way); smelled Serena's breath.

4. Chris Jericho

- IN KAYFABE: Stirred the pot on Team Cena and got one step closer to proving to us hypocrites that John Cena isn't the superhero he claims to be.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Had the match of the night on RAW; had the expression of the night on RAW when the GM email alert noise went off when he was BACKSTAGE; told John Cena he was a stupid man.

5. Kofi Kingston

- IN KAYFABE: Got himself DQ'd for no reason (appeal it Kofi! You can still get that W! If anyone cared!), but he did beat the holy hell out of Dolph Ziggler in the process.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Showed a mean streak, which is exactly to keep himself on the radar (although I still think a heel turn would be the most interesting move). He also got disqualified for being violent, which is ridiculous! He should've been FIRED!

6. The Miz

- IN KAYFABE: Stood toe-to-toe with the former 6-time World Champion, current number one contender to the WWE Championship and the hottest babyface in wrestling right now, Randy Orton.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Cut yet another awesome promo on RAW; continues to show nothing but solid improvement in the ring, week in week out; will be soon creating a truly nerve-wracking moment when he finally does cash in that MITB briefcase, because he is the first guy (not counting Swagger) who is on the bubble and could definitely be the first to fail... though I sure hope he won't be.

7. Christian

- IN KAYFABE: Scored a vengeful win over Drew McIntyre on Smackdown!

- OUT OF KAYFABE: That match with McIntyre was fun as heck; he is this close to either a full-blown, entertaining as hell feud with Matt Hardy, or a well-deserved, long overdue main event push.

8. Rey Mysterio

- IN KAYFABE: Took everything Jack Swagger had to throw at him in the No DQ match on SD!; allegedly beat the shit out of the Undertaker so hard that he almost died - even though he's the Deadman... but how do you kill that which has no life?

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Got smashed into a steel barricade via an All-American (American American) powerbomb; jumped backwards into the water like a pro.

9. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes

- IN KAYFABE: NO REASON

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Was FUCKING HILARIOUS AGAIN.

10. Sheamus

- IN KAYFABE: Def. Goldust; reminded us that he ended Triple H's career; reminded us that a year ago he could barely beat Goldust.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: That squash was in slow-motion, and his promo, aside from bringing Trips into it, was kinda like promo-by-numbers to me. But I'm one of the few who isn't sold on his mic work, so keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that I'm a nerd on the internet, blogging about wrestling and using the words "mic work" like I actually know what I'm talking about.

WRESTLESPECTIVE INFO TO KNOW:

WrestleSpective - The Blog

WrestleSpective Radio - The Podcast (now on iTunes!)

WrestleSpective Power Poll Voters - The Twitter Feeds