TONIGHT: RAW VS. IMPACT - WEEK NINE: SUPERBRAWL SATURDAY!

Holy HECK I've been gone for one weekend and I feel like I haven't written about wrestling for... for... I can't even come up with a wrestling-related joke to end that sentence! Maybe that's a blessing in disguise.

RAW VS. IMPACT

5/3/2010 PREVIEW

RAW (LIVE)

Announced

Guest Host: Wayne Brady

Expected

Fallout from the WWE Draft

A failed "we want Tony Atlas" chant

John Cena and Wayne Brady do an elaborate cool guy handshake that makes me laugh

Won't Happen

CM Punk shaves Wayne Brady's head and immaculately thin facial hair

IMPACT (LIVE)

Announced

Please DVR our show please! PLEASE!

Who will Hulk Hogan give Ric Flair's Hall of Fame ring to?

Hulk Hogan confronts Sting, because no one believes Sting as a heel, not even the wrestlers

Beer Money vs. "always a #2 Contender, never #1" Motor City Machine Guns

EVERY Knockout Title is on the line in one match again

Orlando Jordan makes Rob Terry question his sexuality

Douglas Williams returns without his X-Division Title

More on the TNA Rankings System

Expected

Lex Luger FINALLY breaks his silence!!

RVD def. Desmond Wolfe to retain the TNA Title

Abyss spits all over the place

Won't Happen

Me tuning in, now that I have a friend with HDNet.

ROH ON HDNET

Match Listing (Non-Spoiler)

Austin Aries vs. Delirious

Pick 6 Series: Roderick Strong vs. Joey Ryan

Plus, the Necro Butcher & The Dark City Fight Club are in action

KENTA VS. MARUFUJI WITHOUT ANY ACTUAL MOVES

Remember how I kindly asked (demanded) you to follow the (potentially) only puro Tumblr out there, Burning Spirit? This is why.

Click the video to be taken to the original post, complete with a write-up explaining it.

RAW (NOT REALLY) REVIEW PART THREE: THE 2010 WWE SUPPLEMENTAL DRAFT

Finally, here is the big finish to the three day epic Twilight trilogy-sized review of the WWE Draft! This will be an underwhelming ending. Click for parts one and two.

TO RAW

LIKED: GREAT KHALI, GOLDUST

DIDN'T LIKE: HART DYNASTY

Photo - WWE.com

Khali and Goldust are great for RAW with all of the guest host comedy skits that go on. Hart Dynasty belong on a wrestling show... I fear the day that Bret leaves.

And Ezekiel Jackson didn't even really appear on SD!, so my guess is as good as anyone's as to how he'll do on a new show.

TO SMACKDOWN!

LIKED: CODY RHODES

DIDN'T LIKE: HORNSWOGGLE

Photo - WWE.com

I have a ton of faith in the son of a son of a plumber, Cody Rhodes. I think he'll be a big deal on Smackdown! by the time the next Draft rolls around.

I like Hornswoggle on RAW where the comedy is, but at least now we know he'll stay far, far away from Evan Bourne. That was a black period in pro wrestling.

There really isn't much to say about the Supplemental Draft. So I'll stop typing and just give you the White Castle of Fear.

I feel like a teacher when they just put a movie on and don't give you any homework.

TNA: A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FROM THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS

Give these men as many tag team titles they can wrap around themselves, already!

WHY THIS SHOULD HAPPEN: KOFI KINGSTON HEEL TURN

I don't know if I've heard anyone suggest this yet. But to me, it makes all kinds of sense.

KOFI KINGSTON

FIND YOUR INNER BADASS

Photo - WWE.com

Kofi blew everyone away with his badass, racecar-demolishing, street-clothes-wearing promo on Randy Orton last year on RAW. It was awesome. The guy we only knew as the dude who came out bouncing and smiling all of a sudden had an attitude and a pair to go along with it.

Since then, aside from the occasional moment in a promo, we have yet to see this Kofi Kingston again. Kofi's been set aside for now, so it seems, to give Randy Orton some breathing room as the resident badass tweenin' babyface. But I want to see the Kofi we saw destroy a Nascar with a crowbar. How can we see that again?

Turn Kofi Kingston heel.

Kofi could run wild with his mean streak, maybe alter his moveset a bit in order to turn those cheers to boos, and maybe we'd see a guy who looked and sounded as tough as he did that one specific time. I really think he could kill it.

Now is the perfect time to do this. Smackdown! is potentially overflowing with midcard and main event faces (Christian, Undertaker, Mysterio, Big Show, Kane, MVP, Matt Hardy) and they could definitely use a fresh new midcard heel to liven things up and add to a pretty solid - yet sparse - heel roster (Ziggler, McIntyre, Punk, Swagger, etc.).

He shouldn't be a cowardly heel. He shouldn't an "evil" heel. He should be the dude who blasted Orton's car with a crowbar and showed no remorse. This dude was a bona fide badass.

All of the greatest faces in wrestling were never truly great until they showed their mean streak to the crowd. The Rock, Randy Orton, John Cena, Shawn Michaels... you could go on and on.

Kofi Kingston needs to turn heel, find his inner badass and take the spotlight he so deserves.

Kofi Kingston turning heel. This should happen.

RAW REVIEW PART TWO: THE 2010 WWE DRAFT

Part One went up late last night, click here if you missed it.

Now, onto the Draft:

TO RAW

LIKED: EDGE

DIDN'T LIKE: JOHN MORRISON

Photo - WWE.com

JOHN MORRISON

I only didn't like this move because it meant that Morrison's win (and rope break kick-out of the Gutwrench Powerbomb) over Swagger will likely not amount to anything. Other than that, I'm all for Morrison on RAW.

R-TRUTH

Truth has got some explosive potential and he could really set RAW ablaze and totally blow-up in a big way. I wouldn't be surprised to see R-Truth on fire in the near future, that is, if his combustable interaction with DiBiase doesn't mean Truth is going to get burned in the long run. KABLAMO!

EDGE

This was awesome for three reasons - his potential swerve right back into heel territory, the apparent upcoming Rated-RKO feud, and with Big Show to Smackdown, no Edge/Big Show feud! AND this was even more awesome for like a half hour, when Edge and Christian were on the same show.

CHRIS JERICHO

I was really hoping for some Jericho/Christian stuff to happen, but with Jericho to RAW and Christian to Smackdown!, that isn't in the cards. And I'm pretty sure Jericho's left RAW "forever" eleventy billion times. Anyway, I'm curious to see where Jericho goes from here, with him and Edge being on the same show. His feuds are always ones I really tune in to watch, so I'm excited to see who he has his sights set on next.

TO SMACKDOWN!

LIKED: KOFI KINGSTON

DIDN'T LIKE: BIG SHOW

Photo - WWE.com

KELLY KELLY

I'm very curious to see what happens with Kelly, mainly because she's never really had a main Divas' program ever since she started wrestling, as far as I can remember (feel free to correct me). I think it'll be cool to see how she fits in on Smackdown! potentially being the one to take Mickie James' place.

BIG SHOW

I just really liked ShoMiz. And JeriShow. And everything he did that wasn't his singles run with Vickie Guerrero on Smackdown! last year. C'mon now. Big Show belongs as one half of a heel tag team. Let's just keep doing that. Please? Have him find a guy on Smackdown! Like Ziggler. ShoZig! Or Drew McIntyre! McShow! Please. Anything. Just not goofy Big Show who hugs Teddy Long who then dances for no reason.

KOFI KINGSTON

Kofi was floating around aimlessly even since getting definitively beat by Randy Orton 140,000 times. He needs new life. And going to Smackdown! should help. And I have another idea, that I'll write about instantly after this post.

CHRISTIAN

I love this pick! It's perfect. Except Edge is no longer on Smackdown, so FRIG. I get scared. Like a lot. Like wake up in the middle of the night after mumbling "dork chops... chumpstain... sodas rule..." in my sleep, thinking that the WWE are going to wait and wait and wait until the perfect time to pull the trigger on an Edge/Christian feud or team-up, and something is going to happen where we don't get it. All it takes is one little fuck-up and Edge could get hurt or retire, I swears it. I just want this so badly. These two dudes are my heros. I love that they have the patience to wait so long for this (hi TNA), but I can't wait any longer. Let's see this this year! Somehow.

I don't know about you guys, but part of me likes the uncertainty that follows WrestleMania each year. More specifically, I love the second half of that uncertainty (first half being the build to the first PPV after WM, where not much is done since the Draft is coming up, and the second half being each show starting to figure out where everyone fits in their new rosters).

Hopefully we see some SES/Hart Dynasty tag title stuff, some Christian/Swagger World Title stuff, and some Orton/Edge stuff all coming soon.

ROH 4/28 VIDEOWIRE: OUT OF CHICAGO AND INTO NEW YORK

Colt Cabana and Chris Hero are the stars of the latest VideoWire from ROH, which has the fallout from Dayton and Chicago, and the hype for Manassas and New York.

IN THIS VIDEO

- Colt Cabana, caked in blood, looking and sounding a little (completely) crazy, cutting a promo that rivals Kevin Steen's in awesomeness.

- ROH TV Champ Eddie Edwards stands up for fellow wolf Davey Richards.

- Erick Stevens reaches into the past to cut one of his best promos to date. And he gets left hanging by Nana lofl.

- Jay Briscoe def. Mark Briscoe in Killer Instinct. Or Street Fight II Turbo. I can't tell what game that is. Help.

- Jay Briscoe (with Mark as his hype man, echoing his sentiments) does it again, showing that he might be the realest promo in wrestling today. I swear it's just real to him. And now it is to me.

- Kenny King and Rhett Titus (or the ALL Night Express, as amazingly coined by A Double) talk smack about the Briscoe BROTHERRRS BROTHERRRS BROTHERRRS.

- Aries and Rhett discuss the carbonation in Sprite.

- Tyler Black admits he writes poetry. ... WHY TYLER?! It's just fodder for the haterz!

- A brief (and somehow quieter than everything else) promo from Roddy.

- Seven glorious minutes with Chris Hero, who will never be even challenged when it comes to promos.