2009 IN REVIEW: COMPLETE!

And not a month and too soon!

Here's all the tags you need to browse through the entire recap in sections:

2009 IN REVIEW

2010 IN PREVIEW

MOMENTS 2009

STARS 2009

NEWS 2009

FEUDS 2009

TRANSFORMED 2009

FML 2009

LETDOWNS 2009

LIVE 2009

MATCHES 2009

So long, 2009.

2010: IN PREVIEW - COMPLETE!

Here's the tag to read them all!

2010 In Preview

Now, back to finishing up my '09 in Review!

And then an in-depth detailed look at the year 1994!

Just kidding!

!

...

2010: BATISTA RETIRES

Bro's a grampa. C'mon.

2010: ROH IS PILLAGED AND SURVIVES

It's happened before. And this seems to be the year that it'll happen again.

Danielson and Nigel left last year, and with the Briscoes having tryouts, Rhett Titus reportedly attending an FCW tryout of some sort, and Davey Richards reportedly being contacted by WWE, it seems like ROH stars are hotter than ever.

But I think, even if another few big names are plucked from Ring of Honor, they'll survive, as they seem to be the only company that's good at making new stars.

So let's say all of the above names were gone from ROH in 2010 (Briscoes, Titus (eep!), Richards... and why not throw in Aries). There would still be Tyler Black, Chris Hero, Roderick Strong, Claudio Castagnoli, and Kevin Steen and El Generico (who will almost most definitely have the feud of the year), and as budding stars, Kenny King, Kenny Omega, and more.

Maybe I'm just letting my fanboy colours show, but I fully believe in ROH's ability to survive with their style of wrestling, and consistency in building new stars.

2010: SHELTON BENJAMIN DOES INSANE SHIT AT WM26, IS FORGOTTEN ABOUT NEXT DAY

Should be most over midcard face on the roster (smarkiest sentence of the week).

He should just come to RAW and tear it up with Evan Bourne every week until people get it ingrained in their brains that he (uh, and equally Evan Bourne)'s amazing.

In fact this should be as much about Evan Bourne as it is Shelton. I just feel like Shelton is overlooked more, being on ECW and junk. And he seems to something crazy every year at WM that people pop so hard for, but when he comes out the week after, everyone's just like "meh."

MOVING ON!

2010: CHRIS HERO - ROH WORLD CHAMPION

Whether he does it by turning full-blown face later in the year, or still as a heel, I think his time is now.

I think enough people are pulling for him that if timed right, he could win the title to turn himself face.

Either way, doesn't matter. I'll stand by this one.

Because Chris is awesome.

2010: MARIA PUTS ON HER GREATEST ACCIDENTALLY COMEDIC ACTING PERFORMANCE TO DATE

She is a pioneer in her genre. A trailblazer for her generation.

This prediction is my biggest longshot. Because I don't know how she'll top this flawless piece:

Good luck on the Apprentice, Maria! And chin up! Come on!

2010: DRAGON GATE USA HAS FIRST-EVER 6-STAR MATCH

Doi vs. Shingo was insane.

Davey vs. Shingo was fucking crazy.

And those were just the main events.

The matches just seem to mutate into greater beings as they progress, and at this pace, I don't think my prediction is farfetched.

Could happen in the next couple weeks, in fact.

The Freedom Fight PPV on January 22nd (taped event Open The Freedom Gate, I think) has a stellar line up.

And the next night in Chicago they'll be taping another, called "Fearless." And yes. The card is crazy.

And then there's the WrestleMania weekend shows in Phoenix, which will most definitely deliver the best wrestling (er, alongside ROH and PWG) to take place that weekend.

So I know I'll be watching on the 22nd to see if there's a 6-star match that breaks the internet.

2010: CHRISTIAN TO MAIN ROSTER

This has got to be a no brainer, right?

He's been on ECW for a year now, doing an amazing job. He's been the longest reigning ECW (WWECW) Champion in history, and is one of the only two-time champs as well.

What's left to do?

Christian coming to RAW or Smackdown! would be perfect. It would freshen things up, he'd be a top (believable) face, and we would be just biting our nails, waiting for any Edge-Christian interaction.

Even if it doesn't happen until late in the year to build to a SummerSlam or 2011 WrestleMania feud, I'm cool with it. I just need me some Christian.

CHRISTIAN

TO MAIN ROSTER PLZ

2010: SOMETHING GOOD IS FOUND FOR KANE

13 YEARS OF...

KANE

Something good hasn't been found for... well, for years. In fact, he's been tied to some of the worst things to ever go down in the history of sports entertainment. Let's take a look at the past decade or so of THEBIGREDMONSTERKANE:

KANE LOWLIGHTS

- Jerry Lawler's personal dentist

- was fake Diesel (isn't real Diesel bad enough?!)

- set Jim Ross on FIRE

- revealed that his facial scars from when he was in a FIRE as a kid, were actually mental scars

- pretended to have Lita's baby until Matt Hardy interrupted and brought REAL LIFE with him

- accidentally aborted Lita's baby

- feuded with Gene Snitsky

- promoted his See No Evil movie when his voices started coming out of the arena speakers saying "May 19th!" - the release date of his movie, which, unfortunately, he revealed was also the day his mother and adopted family were killed in a FIRE. Ain't life funny? Huh!

- fought himself in a storyline with no actual end (fake Kane = Festus (isn't real Kane bad enough?!))

- set MVP on FIRE

- carried a hook around for a while

- had an off-screen(!) feud with Rey Mysterio

- And, lest we forget, the storyline that shant be named.

The Kane character has been around longer than half of the WWE's audience right about now. That is pretty bonkers.

The thing about Kane is, he always gets tossed in the worst angles (see above) without the least amount of planning or logic involved... and yet he remains consistently over. HOW THE HELL IS THAT? Dude has been the same bald weirdo for like five years. At least change your pants! SOMETHING!

So much could be done with the Kane character that would be cool. Pretty much anything besides what he's doing. And I think 2010 is his year. I've just had enough of menacing, evil, tweening, non-threatening-but-always-laughs-like-he-is Kane.

And my biggest problem is I don't even like Kane that much. He's alright and stuff, but I think I like Glen Jacobs more than Kane. Which, is why I think he could pull just about anything off and do well with it, as long as it's not that same old Kane.

It was awesome when he unmasked and was a little crazy for a while (but believably, not like now) - we need something like that. Er... not need. But it'd be cool.

2010: CHRIS JERICHO BECOMES FIRST-EVER TWO-TIME FIRST-EVER UNDISPUTED CHAMPION

YEAH I SAID IT.

CHRIS JERICHO

FOR FIRST-EVER TWO-TIME FIRST-EVER UNDISPUTED CHAMPION

Make no sense? Maybe. But listen (read) for just a second (longer than that).

Jericho is already the first-ever Undisputed Champion. He beat The Rock and Stone Cold in the same night. We know this. But that was the WWF. This is the WWE. And I think it's time we crown a new first-ever Undisputed Champion.

And by new, I mean Jericho just does it again.

He needs MORE belts! How awesome did he look with two titles and the Bragging Rights trophy? Had he and Big Show not lost the straps the night before, he could've carried around two slammies and been the most decorated man to not win the J-Crown.

My other (and more realistic) prediction is that 'Tist beats Rey this Friday, beats Taker at the Rumble, Cena somehow regains the WWE Title (likely at Elimination Chamber), and then WrestleMania 26 closes with Batista/Cena II to unify the World Titles.

It's not that far out of a prediction, and I'm not holding my breath (because who holds their breath over things), but it's so plausible that it may just happen.

Point is, I would rather see Jericho just do it all over again, and brag about it every night. I'd eat that shit up.

2010: UNDERTAKER WINS AT WRESTLEMANIA!

UNDERTAKER

UNDEFEATED FOREVER!!!

Guys, I'm going out on a limb here. I think he can do it.

18-0.

It's crazy shit, I know. But I'm going to be bold and be the first person to predict that the Undertaker will win a match at this year's WrestleMania!

In fact, I'll just lay out my Undertaker WM predictions for the rest of his career. But first, his history:

PAST

VII: def. Jimmy Snuka

VIII: def. Jake Roberts

IX: def. Giant Gonzalez via DQ (They prolly had to keep Gonzalez strong)

XI: def. King Kong Bundy

XII: def. Diesel

13: def. Sycho Sid for the WWF Championship

XIV: def. Kane

XV: def. The Big Bossman via hanging

X-Seven: def. Triple H in his only career loss

X8: def. Ric Flair

XIX: def. The Big Show and A-Train (with the help of good friend Nathan Jones!)

XX: def. Kane

21: def. Randy Orton

22: def. Mark Henry

23: def. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship

XXIV: def. Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship

XXV: def. Shawn Michaels in a "bet you'll cry when we're gone and retired" match

FUTURE

XXVI: def. CM Punk

- We finally get our big Punk/Undertaker match. But this time, the angle is all about Punk trying to prove to everyone that the Undertaker is on drugs, because clearly, if you believe you're a deadman, you're high as a kite. Punk's straight-edge army is built around wanting to expose the Undertaker, and the Phenom has to fight off Luke Gallows, and a (re)returning Nick Dinsmore (formerly Eugene).

XX-Seven: def. John Morrison

- Morrison gets his biggest match to date against an aging Undertaker. They steal the show. Morrison is further pegged as this generation's Shawn Michaels.

XXVIII: def. Kurt Angle

- Angle returns after leaving TNA, and is crazier than ever. Taker wins and Angle has a temper tantrum.

XXIX: def. Sheamus

- Sheamus has gone on a Triple H style reign of terror and won the World Titles a combination of eleven times in three years, as well as accumulating a WM streak of 3-0. Undertaker defeats him, looking super slow, despite being on a Road to WM-only schedule.

XXX: def. Kane

- Kane comes out of early retirement to lose to his brother for a third time at WrestleMania. The Kane character is then "killed off" in some kind of absurdly firey pyro explosion, because Vince McMahon is becoming senile.

31: def. Bryan Danielson

- Bryan Danielson has become the biggest star since John Cena, but Taker still goes over him because the streak cannot end! Danielson taps to the weakest looking Hell's Gates, because the Deadman is barely mobile. Wrestling fans everywhere shed a tear.

32: def. AJ Styles

- Vince McMahon has bought TNA, and NEEDS to bury all of their talent! So what better way than having their last champion lose to a fully-grey, wheelchair-sporting Undertaker in two minutes flat! 24-0!

XXXV: def. Vince McMahon

- After taking three years off, Undertaker comes back looking like an actual Dead Man to face a completely senile Vince McMahon in a feud that makes no sense. Undertaker wins when he collapses in the ring and is placed on Vince McMahon by the official, as Vince yells for the referee to do so, because Undertaker is actually dead, but Vince won't let the streak die (and is batshit crazy). Long live the Undertaker('s streak!)! Vince McMahon lives on because he is fucking immortal.

XXXVI: def. Kane and Vince McMahon

- Turns out that Vince is somehow crazier than anyone ever could have imagined, as he worked Undertaker's death for publicity, and one year later, Taker returns to get his revenge in a feud that still doesn't make sense, because Kane is there, who died a couple WrestleMania's ago. All three men die of a triple-threat heart attack.

The show goes on for the big main event of Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre for the WWE Championship though!

2010: BATISTA/CENA II

THE ANIMAL

DAVE BATISTA

SMALL GOAT CRADLER

JOHN CENA

We saw it at SummerSlam 2008. Now get ready for it...

John Cena vs. Dave Batista: THE SEQUEL.

Maybe at WrestleMania. Maybe at SummerSlam again. Either way, this is happening this year.

Batista is finally heel and everybody is cheering him, and Cena is full-blown face and is soaking in the boos. It's perfect!

There's no telling who will win, or how many inexplicable injuries will occur, but I know I will be watching.

2010: DX/HART DYNASTY: TAG TITLE FEUD

UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS

DX

BETTER THAN THE BEST, PERIOD

THE HART DYNASTY

This prediction would've felt way better had I made it before that segment on Smackdown.

But this has to happen.

Bret Hart's coming back. We need a big WrestleMania moment. And what better than Bret Hart, alongside the Hart Dynasty, challenging DX and Vince McMahon. Or Hornswoggle. Or whatever.

But seriously. This has got to happen, and DX dropping the belts to the Harts would be amazing, and put them over so so hard.

Not only that, but the feud leading up to WM should provide some real ass dialogue between Bret, Shawn, Hunter and Vince.

You can just pre-order the $90 PPV or whatever it is if that match happens. And I predict it does. Or at least the feud.

These predictions are off to a BLAZING START.

2010: AN UNORGANIZED FUTURSPECTIVE

I don't know what the opposite of a retrospective is. So that's what happened.

Since it's New Year's Day, 2010, I figured I'd start my 2010 predictions now and finish my 2009 thing later.

Once I'm finished both I'll post all tags, and then everything will be nicely put together like a well made bed. Cozy.

HAPPY NEW YEAR