Tuesday, February 1, 2011


No idea if this is fake or real or fan-made or fan-found or whatever, but HOLY JESUS. If your body didn't go fully erect as one giant goosebump after viewing this, you can DDT yourself and forget ever being a wrestling fan again.

Or maybe you just don't like Sting or something.

EDIT: I threw this up here in a mark-out frenzy and didn't even take a second to think about this.

Undertaker vs. Sting has been a rumour (pipedream?) for a while now, and this image looks ridiculously professional - is it legit? I don't know. But what I do know, is that this promo aired on RAW last night:

Sorry for the crude nature of the video, it's all I could find for now.

I think the answer is obvious. Even the "2 21 11" numbers form in such a way that the letters "STING" could replace them.

Sting has always been against coming to WWE, but maybe after seeing the sendoff and Hall of Fame treatment guys have been getting as of late, he won't be afraid of the Sting character being bastardized by Vince McMahon for the years of opposing the WWF that Sting has done. Is that sentence worded properly? I can't tell because I'm having SENSORY OVERLOOOAD


LAST EDIT I PROMISE: Wow. Immediately after posting this, the rumour mill is SWIRLING (spinning? Do rumours swirl? FORGET IT) that the "2 21 11" mystery man is...

(this is going to spoil it for you)


(so stop scrolling if you don't want to be spoiled)


(although spoilers in wrestling don't really make sense because how can you spoil something that hasn't happened yet)


(but this is still a spoiler)


(so stop right now)


(if you've read this far you clearly want to be spoiled so here it comes)


(or what if I just keep going on like this forever?)


(how far would you keep scrolling?)


(you'd probably just scroll to the bottom like a smart person)


(okay here we go)




THE UNDERTAKER. Wait, what? Not Sting? I should've seen that coming. Apparently, the website for the arena that's hosting the February 21st RAW is advertising the return of the Undertaker, and dirtsheets everywhere are reporting this as the answer to the "2 21 11" mystery. But I won't give up hope. That poster is too awesome to just die on the internet and not come to life and entertain the shit out of me.

Not only that, but maybe... just maybe (this is me refusing to let go), the WWE is getting better at swerving the internet, by sending out false rumours, like Wade Barrett being set to face Undertaker at WrestleMania, or the Undertaker being the man in the "2 21 11" promo, or whatever else. Maybe they're trying to keep a lid on this surprise.

I just don't see that being the Undertaker. I guess I should. Just why the fuck do we need a mysterious hype video for the Undertaker? He comes and goes all the goddamned time! I only know one dark brooding character that hangs out in the rain in a black trenchcoat, and that's my perverted neighbour at my window I mean Sting.

I want shit like this to happen every year (even though it's not happening this year). People from all over the fucking world want to come and end Undertaker's Streak like it's some kind of Super Smash Bros. BRAWL event and Sting is Snake hiding in a cardboard box giving me a nerd boner the size of GIGA BOWSER. I want to see someone draw up a poster for next year's 'Mania with Kenta Kobashi looking into a broken mirror with Undertaker's distorted reflection looking back at him, and "STREAK" written in blood or some crazy fucking shit. Or maybe a poster where Undertaker perched atop a skyscraper looking over whatever city the next 'Mania is in and in the fog behind him is a shadow in the exact shape of BATMAN AND THE LIGHTS ON THE BUILDING SPELL OUT "STREAK" AND I'M THE REFEREE AND AHAHHHHHHHAHAHAHJDKHVBEHR,.JF

I hope Sting comes some day. If only so we could finally get that Sting/Undertaker/Cena rematch we've been clamouring for since the first one happened - remember that?

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