WHOA: EPIC UNDERTAKER VS. STING PROMO SHOT

Via Arda Ocal's Twitter

Image - @TheRaviKhanna

No idea if this is fake or real or fan-made or fan-found or whatever, but HOLY JESUS. If your body didn't go fully erect as one giant goosebump after viewing this, you can DDT yourself and forget ever being a wrestling fan again.

Or maybe you just don't like Sting or something.

EDIT: I threw this up here in a mark-out frenzy and didn't even take a second to think about this.

Undertaker vs. Sting has been a rumour (pipedream?) for a while now, and this image looks ridiculously professional - is it legit? I don't know. But what I do know, is that this promo aired on RAW last night:

Sorry for the crude nature of the video, it's all I could find for now.

I think the answer is obvious. Even the "2 21 11" numbers form in such a way that the letters "STING" could replace them.

Sting has always been against coming to WWE, but maybe after seeing the sendoff and Hall of Fame treatment guys have been getting as of late, he won't be afraid of the Sting character being bastardized by Vince McMahon for the years of opposing the WWF that Sting has done. Is that sentence worded properly? I can't tell because I'm having SENSORY OVERLOOOAD

FUCK IT I LOVE IT

LAST EDIT I PROMISE: Wow. Immediately after posting this, the rumour mill is SWIRLING (spinning? Do rumours swirl? FORGET IT) that the "2 21 11" mystery man is...

(this is going to spoil it for you)

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(so stop scrolling if you don't want to be spoiled)

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(although spoilers in wrestling don't really make sense because how can you spoil something that hasn't happened yet)

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(but this is still a spoiler)

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(so stop right now)

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(if you've read this far you clearly want to be spoiled so here it comes)

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(or what if I just keep going on like this forever?)

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(how far would you keep scrolling?)

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(you'd probably just scroll to the bottom like a smart person)

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(okay here we go)

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(...)

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THE UNDERTAKER. Wait, what? Not Sting? I should've seen that coming. Apparently, the website for the arena that's hosting the February 21st RAW is advertising the return of the Undertaker, and dirtsheets everywhere are reporting this as the answer to the "2 21 11" mystery. But I won't give up hope. That poster is too awesome to just die on the internet and not come to life and entertain the shit out of me.

Not only that, but maybe... just maybe (this is me refusing to let go), the WWE is getting better at swerving the internet, by sending out false rumours, like Wade Barrett being set to face Undertaker at WrestleMania, or the Undertaker being the man in the "2 21 11" promo, or whatever else. Maybe they're trying to keep a lid on this surprise.

I just don't see that being the Undertaker. I guess I should. Just why the fuck do we need a mysterious hype video for the Undertaker? He comes and goes all the goddamned time! I only know one dark brooding character that hangs out in the rain in a black trenchcoat, and that's my perverted neighbour at my window I mean Sting.

I want shit like this to happen every year (even though it's not happening this year). People from all over the fucking world want to come and end Undertaker's Streak like it's some kind of Super Smash Bros. BRAWL event and Sting is Snake hiding in a cardboard box giving me a nerd boner the size of GIGA BOWSER. I want to see someone draw up a poster for next year's 'Mania with Kenta Kobashi looking into a broken mirror with Undertaker's distorted reflection looking back at him, and "STREAK" written in blood or some crazy fucking shit. Or maybe a poster where Undertaker perched atop a skyscraper looking over whatever city the next 'Mania is in and in the fog behind him is a shadow in the exact shape of BATMAN AND THE LIGHTS ON THE BUILDING SPELL OUT "STREAK" AND I'M THE REFEREE AND AHAHHHHHHHAHAHAHJDKHVBEHR,.JF

I hope Sting comes some day. If only so we could finally get that Sting/Undertaker/Cena rematch we've been clamouring for since the first one happened - remember that?

WHOA: ADAM PEARCE NO LONGER ROH BOOKER?

WHAT IS GOING ON

ADAM PEARCE

RING OF HONOR BOOKER

Photo - "Scrap Iron" Adam Pearce's Throwback Realm

Just heard this from PWInsider. All that was said was apparently Cary Silkin made the call and that potentially Delirious could be the one to fill the position.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT IS GOING ON

Pearce took a ton of flack for changing the way ROH cards were booked when he took over in 2008. Now, 2010 is being heralded by many as the best period for Ring of Honor since that crazy 05/06 run.

So Tyler Black just gets into the swing of things as ROH Champ, turning haters into believers, and he signs with the WWE.

Now Adam Pearce starts getting some serious credit for booking a fantastic run for ROH, and now he's gone.

Next I fully expect Davey Richards to retire, Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli to leave for JCW with their belts in tow, Jim Cornette to fall over dead and Eric Bischoff to slap me in the face with his wrinkly wiener because I AM LIVING IN A NIGHTMARE.

In all seriousness, I don't expect anything to happen to ROH. They have the most loyal fans in wrestling, and over time they've lost Punk, Joe, Danielson, Nigel, Gabe and now Pearce and Tyler Black. I'm just curious as to the details of this whole thing.

HOLY WHOA: ROH WORLD CHAMPION TYLER BLACK TO WWE?!

WHAT

ROH WORLD CHAMPION TYLER BLACK

REPORTEDLY SIGNS WITH WWE

Photo - Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

Is this true? Someone confirm this so I can calm my nerdves (nerd nerves).

I can't tell if I'm happy about this. I, like any other dude who writes about wrestling on the internet, is always happy to see an Indy star make it to the bigtime, be it for the money, the ability to perform on a huge stage, or both.

But he's also the ROH World Champion. And he was just finally converting those haters into believers with his fucking STELLAR match with Davey Richards at Death Before Dishonor VIII. Now, if this is indeed true, he's going to fall somewhere on this very official scale - the scale that measures how well an ROH wrestler was handled in the WWE:

C . M . P U N K

MICKIE JAMES

EVAN BOURNE

BRIAN KENDRICK

PAUL LONDON

LOW-KI

BRYAN DANIELSON

COLT CABANA

SAMOA JOE

JR thinks it's a good signing, so that's good to hear. Always nice to have someone like Jim Ross backing you before you're even in the company (or before it's even been confirmed that you've signed).

If he does end up on WWE TV, it'll give me another reason to tune in and have someone to legitimately root for (like Punk, Bourne, and Danielson (before the darkest day in pro wrestling a.k.a. "the incident" a.k.a. the Assassination of Justin Roberts by the coward Daniel Bryan)).

WHOA: KINGS OF WRESTLING V. HAAS/BENJAMIN SET FOR GLORY BY HONOR IX ON iPPV!

I took so long to post this because I've been too busy MARKING THE F OUT.

I've been praying for this announcement since April. Amazing.

This match, plus a potential Bryan Danielson appearance (people are speculating that Roderick Strong will face Tyler Black, but I think Danielson is a dark horse for that spot), plus the possibility of both the Davey Richards/Christopher Daniels "who's the best in the world?" match, and the final encounter between Kevin Steen and El Generico... we could have a MASSIVE card on our hands come September 11th.

WHOA: SAMOA JOE SUSPENDED FROM TNA

As reported by NoDQ.com

This must mean Joe is going to wrestle Danielson at Glory By Honor, right?! RIGHT?!

...

I'll try to keep my mark-outs in check for a second. But let's think about this.

Could Joe's "bad attitude" be stemming from working with Vince Russo, being booked like a total fool, and teaming with Rob Terry to lose on PPV? Hmm, let me ponder that for a seco-- WHY YES IT IS. I love the idea of a company treating a guy like shit and then suspending him for having a bad attitude. If your boss made you paint a dong on your face and get kidnapped by ninjas, you too might be a little pissed off.

Maybe this could be the first step in Joe leaving that sinking ship (I picture it as a tugboat that makes fart noises as it putts along) that is TNA. I don't even need to believe that that means he's coming back to ROH. I just hope the dude can do what he's best at somewhere. Watching the Punk/Joe shoot makes me sad, considering where Punk is and where Joe is.

But Joe could be fed up with TNA after this and decide that he needs to go where he'll be appreciated. Y'know, instead of rotting away in Orlando, feeling your brain deteriorate with every syllable that plops out of Vince Russo's mouth.

WHOA: WWE SIGNS CONSEQUENCES CREED

Announcement courtesy of Platinum Championship Wrestling.

FORMER TNA STAR

AUSTIN CREED (A.K.A. CONSEQUENCES CREED)

I always thought that Creed was a sparkly diamond in that steaming pile of TNA, so this is a good pick-up by WWE.

Maybe he's the anonymous general manager guy behind Nexus who raised the briefcase and killed Vince McMahon for GTV!!

WHOA: JOHNNY GARGANO SIGNS WWE CONTRACT WITH A DGUSA STABLE!

'Scuse me while I just edit this real quick... ahem.

JOHNNY GARGANO

NOT JUST NXT SECURITY!

Photo - DGUSA.tv

Awesome! This comes as a total surprise to me, but I also just revealed in my last post that I haven't read dirt sheets for two weeks, so maybe everyone saw this comin'. I saw this comin' over on TH's The Wrestling Blog, who snagged it straight from the horse's twitter (Gabe Sapolsky).

I will admit I haven't seen much of Gargano, but I did just see him live and in person, in front of about 120 people in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. So there's that.

Congrats Johnny!

WHOA: MASSIVE WWE RELEASES

From WWE.com:

WWE has come to terms on the release of WWE Divas Mickie James and Katie Lea Burchill as well as Superstars Shelton Benjamin, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang as of today, April 22, 2010. We wish them the best in all future endeavors.

Okay, not all shockers. But Mickie James?! Holy shitting pisswit. That came out of nowhere.

With Shelton gone perhaps my dreams will in fact come true...

And Jimmy Wang Yang has already thrown up some hints on his Twitter:

"3 strike and your out i hear florida is a nice place to visit"

WHOA: KINGS OF WRESTLING VS. MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS SET FOR ROH IN NYC

Just. Awesome.

KINGS OF WRESTLING

CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI & CHRIS HERO

Photo - Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS

ALEX SHELLEY & CHRIS SABIN

Photo - ROHWrestling.com

As announced just minutes ago via ROH's Twitter (and their website), the Motor City Machines Guns will be making a pit stop in New York to face the Kings of Wrestling, and new Ring of Honor World Tag Team Champions, Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero.

Any time the Guns' swing by ROH is a good time (I really think they shine their brightest in ROH), but facing the never-hotter Kings of Wrestling will make for a show-stealing match on a card that already has a potential show-stealing match in Awesome Kong vs. Sara Del Rey.

What I would give for a ticket to this show...

WHOA: TILA TEQUILA TO HOST RAW? (RUMOUR)

From Lords Of Pain.

If you don't know who Tila Tequila is you should probably get the Internet because it's been out for like a long time and it's great. Because that's the only way you wouldn't know who this dumb slut is.

I don't go around calling everyone dumb sluts, but I think it's warranted here.

But as I was saying, if you haven't heard/seen Tila Tequila, here is some of the retardation that happens on her show.

Does this woman:

TILA

TEQUILA

Line up with ANYTHING WWE is doing right now?

Seriously. John Cena, WWE Champion, loved by kids everywhere. Tila Tequila, literally only known for being a giant slut on Myspace and having a show where hoards of people dumber and sluttier than her vie for her nasty vagina. How can you explain the reasoning for her even being there?

There seems to be no logical reason for having her on the show. Are people going to tune in to see the NO boobs they will show on their PG show? It's so weird and it doesn't make any sense to me. Why are they booking people to host their show who can't do the things their famous for doing, because they are a kid-friendly show?

Cheech and Chong couldn't do actual drug-related jokes, Jerry Springer DID do his wacky over-the-top transvestite-ridden show and it felt fucking bizarre, and now Tila Tequila is going to show up and act (act?) dumb (which she's famous for doing) but not be naked like everyone would expect (which she's famous for doing).

To conclude, I'm not really that mad. I just can't piece it together. And who am I kidding, I'll still watch to see her botch a name or ten.

"And you'll be facing The Big Red Machine KATE!"

WHOA: ROH OVERHAULS WEBSITE!

Oh yes. Looking very, very nice. ROHWrestling.com has been due for a redesign for some time. Click the image to take a peek around:

WHOA: WWE SUMMER PPV-NAME OVERHAUL

I always knew that the Themed PPVs situation was an epidemic... but good lord the infection is spreading quickly!

Breaking news courtesy of NoDQ.com's Twitter.

April 25th - Extreme Rules (So long Backlash)

May 23rd - Wild Card

June 20th - Fatal Fourway

July 18th - MONEY IN THE BANK

Welp, the rebranding continues. I think we can all guess what some of these names mean - and one change could mean no MITB at 'Mania this year.

With Survivor Series still to be replaced, we're going to have an almost brand new calendar year for WWE Events. Cah-razy.

HOLY WHOA: I PREDICT FUTURE

From PWInsider:

By Mike Johnson on 2010-02-02 20:24:35

Sources in WWE just confirmed the ECW on SyFy series will indeed go forward under the name WWE NXT, with NXT standing for "Next Generation."

As we initially broke back in November 2009 in the PWInsider.com Elite section, one of the concepts pitched to SyFy was to build the series around an entirely new cast of characters with the tease being viewers could watch them debut and develop nowhere but on SyFy. One would think a lot of talents will be coming up from WWE developmental soon.

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST![/tmz]

WHOA: VINCE TO ADDRESS ECW'S FUTURE TONIGHT

http://www.lordsofpain.net/news/wwe/6236.html

So it looks like that "rebranding" of ECW could be happening sooner than sometime after WrestleMania (or at least the first seeds could be sown).

I'm excited to hear what will happen. And hey, if ECW aired in Canada, I might actually watch it!

Stupid Canada.

If it's a show about young talent, I'm all for it. I always liked the way guys from FCW could get their legs on ECW, then finally get moved to RAW to lose on a regular basis in front of the whole world.

But seriously, I do like the idea of ECW, and changing it up is a good idea. I'd be into these ideas:

ECW BECOMES

EXCITING CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!

Go from EXTREME to EXCITING! No violence! Or wrestling! Just comedy! I know I'd LOL! ECW! ECW! ECW!

ECW BECOMES

THE BRYAN DANIELSON POWER HOUR!

Just an hour of Bryan Danielson. He debuts. Wrestles a guy for an hour. Ratings reach three digit numbers.

ECW BECOMES

TOTAL NEXT-GEN ACTION-ENTERTAINMENT

Okay, so the whole show would be based around the young stars of the WWE - basically the future of the company. But right when it seemed like the new guys were getting their due, some old, washed up guys from RAW and Smackdown! get drafted to Next-Gen, and feud with the young guys! And all of the show is dedicated to guys being like "It's our time now, we're the young guns," and "you're not what Next-Gen is all about!" - It'd be awesome to hear guys argue about who the company should get behind right? Is anyone else doing that right now? I bet this WOULD NOT SUCK AT ALL!

WHOA: DAVEY RICHARDS PULLED FROM DGUSA, EVOLVE EVENTS

Thanks to Monkey Man for alerting me to such a puzzling tweet from Gabe himself.

Can't really guess what the hell this means. Either way, it's bizarre. Hopefully nothing super crazy.

In other news, Smackdown! is off to a wild start. Should destroy RAW yet again. Even with the bait and switch of Teddy Long changing the Tag Title match to two new singles matches, it's still going to be a good lineup.

But seriously WTF DAVEY?! I can only speculate that he got EVEN MORE COMPETITIVE and kicked Gabe's booking book of secret booking plans into his face, then EVOLVED into a DRAGONZORD.

I don't know what any of this means, I'm just all hyped up on Smackdown.

WHOA: ROH USHERS IN TV TITLE WITH TOURNAMENT

YAY.

This is so sweet. It's been talked about for so long, and to see it actually happen is really cool. I'm not sure who'll win it, or even who'll be involved - but why don't I speculate anyhow?

Here are the announced names for the TV tapings on February 4th and 5th, which is when the tournament will take place:

Tyler Black; Roderick Strong; The American Wolves of Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards; Kenny King; The Kings of Wrestling: "That Young Knock Out Kid" Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli; Erick Stevens w/ Prince Nana; Delirious w/ Daizee Haze El Generico; Steve Corino; Kevin Steen; The Dark City Fight Club; The Necro Butcher; “Addicted to Love” Rhett Titus and “Skullkrusher” Rasche Brown

And here's my guess/hopes of who will be the eight men filling in the brackets:

Tyler Black

Roderick Strong

Davey Richards

Eddie Edwards

Kenny King

Rasche Brown

Necro Butcher

El Generico

Actually I have no clue. Delirious could easily be in there too. I'm just thinking of guys who get pushed on TV a lot.

Can't wait to see how this plays out, and what it could mean for future shows. It's great that ROH will be able to have another way to turn a regular singles match into a BIG time match.

WHOA: CLAUDIO TO PERFORM INSANE FEAT OF STRENGTH

From Chris Hero's Twitter earlier today:

"Kings of Wrestling v. Kensuke/Morishima. When this hits the Tube, you're gonna wanna see. Claudio hit the most IMPRESSIVE UFO ever. On Mori"

Just to make that clear...

This is Claudio's UFO:

This is Takeshi Morishima:

He weighs around 320 pounds. That's like five Grizzly Redwoods. I don't know what kind of coffee Claudio drinks, but pour me a slice.

I am absolutely pouncing on this clip once it surfaces.

WHOA: BRYAN DANIELSON VS. CHAVO GUERRERO (PIC + VIDEO)

(Via ROH on Twitter)

Surreal.

UPDATE: A video of the full match has surfaced! Oh dear I'm too giddy for my own good.

WHOA: BRYAN DANIELSON TO FCW NEXT WEEK

BEST IN THE WORLD (WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT)

BRYAN DANIELSON

Looks like we'll have to wait just a little longer for Dragon to make a splash on WWE TV.

It's funny that there were all those rumours that he'd be skipping right over Florida, going straight to TV, and then he wrestled Chavo in a dark match on Monday (which got an apparent great reaction), so everything seemed like it was on the right path... er, 'til now.

I really think he can succeed whether he has to change his style or not, even though his success was built almost solely upon his wrestling ability.

I almost see him as a modern Bret Hart, in that he is over because he's that genuine hero-type character, that doesn't feel like a character at all. It just feels real. And he gets over with his wrestling first, personality second, which is difficult to do. At least in mainstream wrestling.

All cool with me, though. Can't wait 'til he debuts.

... I hope I don't eat those words.

WHOA: BRET HART SIGNS SHORT-TERM WWE CONTRACT (RUMOUR?)

SNAP.

BRET "HITMAN" HART

RETURNING?

I don't know what to think but I know I'm excited and feeling a little weird and maybe nervous and I don't know what else.

On the one hand, I'd be so excited to see Bret work with the Hart Dynasty and help elevate them in any way. On the other hand, I fear for him being brought back for one match. I like the memory of Bret as it is, and his style doesn't exactly suit a Hulk Hogan-esque comeback for a boot and a legdrop.

The article from the Observer speculates that Bret could be in a GM-type role, maybe even for Smackdown! and I'd be totally up for that. When I met Bret in Toronto for Death Before Dishonor weekend, he seemed about his wits (don't know why I feel the need to mention that), and would do a great job in an authority role.

Apparently the deal he signed goes into effect one the first day of 2010, so time will tell if this is true, and what exactly he's going to be doing. Like the article says, should be pretty obvious that he'd debut or host the Jan. 4th edition of RAW, which will go head to head with TNA's Live Monday iMPACT for the first time ever.

2010 could be an exciting year for Wrestling if Bret Hart is somehow involved in a WrestleMania program. I've been predicting ever since the start of the JeriShow/DX feud that DX would do something with The Hart Dynasty and the Tag Straps... and after reading Smackdown! spoilers, I can't be that far off.