WHOA: EPIC UNDERTAKER VS. STING PROMO SHOT

Via Arda Ocal's Twitter

Image - @TheRaviKhanna

No idea if this is fake or real or fan-made or fan-found or whatever, but HOLY JESUS. If your body didn't go fully erect as one giant goosebump after viewing this, you can DDT yourself and forget ever being a wrestling fan again.

Or maybe you just don't like Sting or something.

EDIT: I threw this up here in a mark-out frenzy and didn't even take a second to think about this.

Undertaker vs. Sting has been a rumour (pipedream?) for a while now, and this image looks ridiculously professional - is it legit? I don't know. But what I do know, is that this promo aired on RAW last night:

Sorry for the crude nature of the video, it's all I could find for now.

I think the answer is obvious. Even the "2 21 11" numbers form in such a way that the letters "STING" could replace them.

Sting has always been against coming to WWE, but maybe after seeing the sendoff and Hall of Fame treatment guys have been getting as of late, he won't be afraid of the Sting character being bastardized by Vince McMahon for the years of opposing the WWF that Sting has done. Is that sentence worded properly? I can't tell because I'm having SENSORY OVERLOOOAD

FUCK IT I LOVE IT

LAST EDIT I PROMISE: Wow. Immediately after posting this, the rumour mill is SWIRLING (spinning? Do rumours swirl? FORGET IT) that the "2 21 11" mystery man is...

(this is going to spoil it for you)

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(so stop scrolling if you don't want to be spoiled)

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(although spoilers in wrestling don't really make sense because how can you spoil something that hasn't happened yet)

...

(but this is still a spoiler)

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(so stop right now)

...

(if you've read this far you clearly want to be spoiled so here it comes)

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(or what if I just keep going on like this forever?)

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(how far would you keep scrolling?)

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(you'd probably just scroll to the bottom like a smart person)

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(okay here we go)

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(...)

...

THE UNDERTAKER. Wait, what? Not Sting? I should've seen that coming. Apparently, the website for the arena that's hosting the February 21st RAW is advertising the return of the Undertaker, and dirtsheets everywhere are reporting this as the answer to the "2 21 11" mystery. But I won't give up hope. That poster is too awesome to just die on the internet and not come to life and entertain the shit out of me.

Not only that, but maybe... just maybe (this is me refusing to let go), the WWE is getting better at swerving the internet, by sending out false rumours, like Wade Barrett being set to face Undertaker at WrestleMania, or the Undertaker being the man in the "2 21 11" promo, or whatever else. Maybe they're trying to keep a lid on this surprise.

I just don't see that being the Undertaker. I guess I should. Just why the fuck do we need a mysterious hype video for the Undertaker? He comes and goes all the goddamned time! I only know one dark brooding character that hangs out in the rain in a black trenchcoat, and that's my perverted neighbour at my window I mean Sting.

I want shit like this to happen every year (even though it's not happening this year). People from all over the fucking world want to come and end Undertaker's Streak like it's some kind of Super Smash Bros. BRAWL event and Sting is Snake hiding in a cardboard box giving me a nerd boner the size of GIGA BOWSER. I want to see someone draw up a poster for next year's 'Mania with Kenta Kobashi looking into a broken mirror with Undertaker's distorted reflection looking back at him, and "STREAK" written in blood or some crazy fucking shit. Or maybe a poster where Undertaker perched atop a skyscraper looking over whatever city the next 'Mania is in and in the fog behind him is a shadow in the exact shape of BATMAN AND THE LIGHTS ON THE BUILDING SPELL OUT "STREAK" AND I'M THE REFEREE AND AHAHHHHHHHAHAHAHJDKHVBEHR,.JF

I hope Sting comes some day. If only so we could finally get that Sting/Undertaker/Cena rematch we've been clamouring for since the first one happened - remember that?

ROYAL RUMBLE REVIEW: DESTINY DEF. FAITH

That makes it sound like this PPV was headlined by strippers.

But what it really means is that CM Punk had faith and was eliminated by John Cena and his leprechaun companion, while Alberto Del Rio fulfilled his destiny by winning the Royal Rumble (but you already knew that). And you probably already knew that I was going to say "but you already knew that."

ROYAL RUMBLE WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO

IT'S HIS DENSITY DESTINY!!

Photo - WWE.com

Has one Royal Rumble match ever had so much comedy? Between Hornswoggle's slapstick, Santino's near win, and Cena and Orton's utterly heatless staredown(s!), no gut was left unbusted last night.

In addition to the comedy, there was also wrestling.

WWE 2011 ROYAL RUMBLE

LIKED...

Photo - WWE.com

EDGE VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER

Holy BALLS does Dolph Ziggler bump like Shawn Michaels or what? I'm sure I'm not the first guy to draw that comparison, but watching him fly around the ring reminds me of early HBK (I just watched the '92 Rumble where he bumped like a fish out of water for the whole thing). He might wrestle with more conviction than anyone on the roster right now, save for the ROH alumni I mark like a fangirl (I'm a boy) for.

Ziggler brought out the best in Edge last night - but y'know what brought out even more "the best" (that doesn't make sense) in Edge last night? NOT USING THE SPEAR. With the spear banned, Edge was forced to find new (or old) ways to win, and that made him more entertaining in the ring than he's been in a long time. Maybe that's because he's been in the ring with Kane for a long time. But that's beside the point.

The point is, this was the hottest match bell-to-bell of the entire night. And Dolph Ziggler will find himself in more World Title matches as the year goes on, because he's doing what very few guys can do - overcome brutal gimmicks (Spirit Squad, Dolph Ziggler, etc.) with unmistakeable talent.

ROYAL RUMBLE (FIRST HALF)

When the Royal Rumble kicks off with something that would crash the ROH Message Board ten times over, you know you're in for a good match. Or at least good first half, as was the case last night (for me). You don't need me to tell you how fun it was to watch Punk and Bryan go at it (and when William Regal was thrown in the mix I think my boner leapt off and did a dance), or John Morrison's THE FLOOR IS LAVA THE FLOOR IS LAVA elimination save, or Miz eliminating Cena, or Santino's charisma overdose at the end, or Booker T (holy--) or Diesel (--fuck) or anything, because you know how awesome these things were.

THE BOOKING OF: NEXUS = FOUR STEVE AUSTINS, JOHN CENA = BRET HART

Kind of.

You get to see this every now and then in the Rumble. Punk did it last year. Austin did it in '97. A heel clears the ring and starts chucking jobbers as they come in, one-by-one, until they finally run into their ultimate foe. For Punk (2010) it was Triple H. For Austin, it was Bret. And for Nexus, it was Cena. The entire lead up to that, including Booker T lighting up the entire crowd until they were completely deflated when Mason Ryan eliminated him, was perfect.

ALBERTO DELLLL RIIIIIIOOO!

I could feel the rage-sweat beading on the brows of smarks everywhere when it really seemed like Orton or Cena would win. And then I could hear the nervous sigh of relief when Del Rio dumped Orton over the top, and Ricardo Rodriguez made the six and a half minute winning call.

To point out how crazy this win is, Del Rio debuted in the WWE on August 20th, 2009 - four months and ten days before winning the Royal Rumble. Yokozuna is the only man in history to do it faster, and Del Rio did it about a half-year faster than some UFC guy named Brock Lesnar.

In other Rumble trivia, Del Rio is undefeated in Royal Rumble competition, alongside Lesnar and uh, Vince McMahon (he only has two Royal Rumble functions - go the distance and win or blow both quads).

RANDY ORTON, SOULLESS INDIVIDUAL

I like it when Randy Orton RKO's stupid people. Or when he gets so mad in the ring that smarks thinks he's mad for real. Or when he pitches Alex Riley over the top rope like he's DJ Jazzy Jeff. Or when he gets a look on his face that he might do something psycho like disembowel Vickie Guerrero. But...

2011 ROYAL RUMBLE

DISLIKED...

Photo - WWE.com

RANDY ORTON, HEATLESS INDIVIDUAL

When Randy Orton isn't turbo-RKOing eight people at once, apparently people (and I) don't give a shit about him. I already mentioned it once, but could you believe your eyes (and ears) when the smoke cleared in the Rumble, bodies were everywhere, and John Cena and Randy Orton both turned around to face each other one-on-one... to DEAFENING SILENCE.

Hold that exchange up against Punk and Cena from earlier in the Rumble, or Edge and Ziggler's entire match, or 51-year-old Kevin Nash getting a LET'S GO DIESEL chant, or anything, and you've got a staredown (actually, two staredowns) that no one cares about.

This nose-to-nose showdown acted like a real-time poll of WWE fans everywhere - do you want to see this match at WrestleMania? The answer was a very disinterested "uh, no thank you."

ROYAL RUMBLE (SECOND HALF)

Before I start, I should say that I enjoyed the match overall. It's impossible not to. It's the most fun thing ever and no amount of giggly Hornswoggle offense could ruin it.

But between Randy Orton and Dolph Ziggler inexplicably entering the match (which was totally no sold by the announcers for some reason), a ton of WrestleMania sign-pointing, the Cena/Orton silent staredown (seriously, people didn't even boo to be like "WE DON'T WANT THIS"), and a really tame final four (devoid of any anticipation or drama, until the hilariously done Santino spot), the second half of the match really lost steam for me.

AWESOME KONG?

I don't need to write about this, because K. Sawyer Paul already put it perfectly.

But I should mention that Eve crying after winning the Divas Title was oddly sad. Maybe she just shattered her knees on that moonsault.

THE MIZ VS. RANDY ORTON

I've already touched on Randy Orton (I bet there's a lot of girls out there that want to touch on Randy Orton), but I have this to say about the match itself: I watched it last night and can't remember a thing about it. Pretty much my reaction to this match was the equivalent of the fans' reaction to the Cena/Orton staredown.

As for tonight, WWE has announced that Alberto Del Rio will decide which champion he will face at WrestleMania. Apparently they forgot about their own Road to WrestleMania, which generally features two more matches when another ten guys get a shot at the title.

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK: WMXXVI PREDICTION CONTEST - RESULTS!

Show review to come - but first, prediction results!

WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

PREDICTION CONTEST RESULTS

Photo - Unchained WWE Wallpapers

It was insanely close, but we do have a clear-cut winner (no ties for first).

1. BSTAN80 (39 Pts.)

2. Arn Anderson (38 Pts.)

T3. Cory Chaos (37 Pts.)

T3. ihopeyouareok (37 Pts.)

T3. Steve (37 Pts.)

T3. TH (37 Pts.)

7. big ern (36 Pts.)

8. ScareChan (32 Pts.)

T9. Canadian Vampire (31 Pts.)

T9. TheTazDevil (31 Pts.)

T11. Heartless (30 Pts.)

T11. PIZZABODYSLAM (30 Pts.)

T11. TOH (30 Pts.)

14. TCU (29 Pts.)

15. Masa (28 Pts.)

16. bryans7 (27 Pts.)

T17. Miko (23 Pts.)

T17. Monkey Man (23 Pts.)

19. Mike (22 Pts.)

20. Kastrada (20 Pts.)

T21. SETUP DISK (18 Pts.)

T21. SyxxHallNash (18 Pts.)

23. Mario (16 Pts.)

I think I might do this for each PPV and have a monthly winner and a yearly winner (concluding at next year's WM). Or maybe I'll give up tomorrow. Who the fuck knows.

Either way, fun show, fun contest, girls just want to have fun [/wendirichter].

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK: BRET HART

Saving the best (there is, was, ever will be) for last.

BRET HART

WrestleMania Record: 7-6

WrestleMania Moment: Making Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania 13

WrestleMania History:

def. By Andre the Giant - Battle Royal (2)

def. (with Jim Neidhart) The British Bulldogs (III)

def. By Bad News Brown - Battle Royal (IV)

def. (with Jim Neidhart) The Honky Tonk Man & Greg Valentine (V)

def. (with Jim Neidhart) The Bolsheviks (VI)

def. (with Jim Neidhart) By The Nasty Boys (VII)

def. Roddy Piper (VIII)

def. By Yokozuna (IX)

def. By Owen Hart (X)

def. Yokozuna (X)

def. Bob Backlund (XI)

def. By Shawn Michaels (XII)

def. Steve Austin (13)

BRET HART'S

MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

Punching twelve years of douchbaggery out of Vince McMahon

BRET HART'S

ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

- Gave everything he had to the World Wrestling Federation

- WAS SCREWED BY VINCE MCMAHON

- Returned to make peace, but will settle for a vicious beatdown

- That's all that happened, Bret definitely did not fake break his leg in a phony car accident thanks to John Cena's hollywood connections, nope. Didn't happen. Okay? Good. Yeah. Didn't happen. Ever.

BRET HART'S

PREDICTED ENTRANCE AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

Doesn't really matter because I won't be able to see shit through my tears.

BRET HART'S

PREDICTED SHOWING AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

Bret Hart def. Vince McMahon via SHARPSHOOTER and Jim Ross' voice can be heard all the way from Oklahoma.

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK: WMXXVI PREDICTION CONTEST: LAST CHANCE!

You can totally change your picks up until 7:00 tonight. Divas match doesn't count but you can totally make your picks if you want.

With 10 more people in, it brings our total to 20. Here's what it looks like:

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP

75% John Cena (15 Bets) (97 Pts.)

VS.

25% Batista (5 Bets) (20 Pts.)

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

70% Edge (14 Bets) (94 Pts.)

VS.

30% Chris Jericho (6 Bets) (15 Pts.)

STREAK VS. CAREER

90% Undertaker (18 Bets) (103 Pts.)

VS.

10% Shawn Michaels (2 Bets) (9 Pts.)

NO HOLDS BARRED

100% Bret Hart (20 Bets) (164 Pts.)

VS.

0% Vince McMahon (0 Bets) (0 Pts.)

STRAIGHT-EDGE STIPULATION

60% Rey Mysterio (12 Bets) (58 Pts.)

VS.

40% CM Punk (8 Bets) (34 Pts.)

GRUDGE MATCH

80% Sheamus (16 Bets) (74 Pts.)

VS.

20% Triple H (4 Bets) (20 Pts.)

UNIFIED WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

80% ShoMiz (16 Bets) (62 Pts.)

VS.

20% Mo'Truth (4 Bets) (15 Pts.)

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH

75% Randy Orton (14 Bets) (64 Pts.)

VS.

15% Ted DiBiase (4 Bets) (16 Pts.)

VS.

10% Cody Rhodes (2 Bets) (7 Pts.)

MONEY IN THE BANK

1. 60% Christian (12 Bets) (30 Pts.)

2. 25% Drew McIntyre (5 Bets) (14 Pts.)

3. 10% Kofi Kingston (2 Bets) (3 Pts.)

4. 5% Jack Swagger (1 Bet) (1 Pt.)

T5. 0% Kane, Matt Hardy, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin & MVP (0 Bets) (0 Pts.)

And just for fun, here's who everyone is betting the farm on (their 9 point spot) in total:

BRET HART - 14

UNDERTAKER - 2

EDGE - 2

JOHN CENA - 2

Feel free to also throw in your random pick for who wins the pre-show Battle Royal.

WRESTLEMANIA OMG U GUYS

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK: REY MYSTERIO

Rey needs to invent moves for the rest of the numbers in his phone number.

REY MYSTERIO

WrestleMania Record: 3-2

WrestleMania Moment: Winning his first World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 22

WrestleMania History:

def. By Matt Hardy (XIX)

def. By Chavo Guerrero - Cruiserweight Open (XX)

def. Eddie Guerrero (21)

def. Kurt Angle, Randy Orton (22)

def. JBL (XXV)

REY MYSTERIO'S

MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

Standing up for drugs and alcohol!

REY MYSTERIO'S

ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

- Did drugs

- That was his first mistake

- Eliminated CM Punk from the Elimination Chamber match

- That was his second mistake

- Did not agree with the way CM Punk is spreading his message

- That was his third mistake

- So he had to stand between his family and a psychotic CM Punk

- Became less of a fan of the Happy Birthday song

- Lost to Luke Gallows, which now means that if he loses to CM Punk at 'Mania, he will be forced to join the Straight-Edge Society. I hope they shave his mask.

REY MYSTERIO'S

PREDICTED ENTRANCE AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

In some sort of amazing cross-promotion, I hope Mysterio comes to the ring as Kick-Ass.

REY MYSTERIO'S

PREDICTED SHOWING AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

CM Punk def. Rey Mysterio to enlist him as the Straight-Edge Society's newest member.

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK: LEGACY

Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes have the MOMENTUM going into tonight. Sadly for them, in wrestling momentum means the opposite of what it does in real life.

LEGACY

WrestleMania Record: 0-0

WrestleMania Moment: Running in to make last year's Triple H/Randy Orton AMAZING! That's what happened right? I turned it off halfway through.

WrestleMania History:

N/A ... well, Cody lost in a pre-show Battle Royal or something.

LEGACY'S

MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

A triple threat match with their former handler, Randy Orton

LEGACY'S

ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

- Were born "better"

- Teamed with Randy Orton because he seems like a good role model

- Randy tried to fix Cody's lisp for a year and a half, but he just can't learn :(

- That's what this is all about

LEGACY'S

PREDICTED ENTRANCE AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

I gotta say... it'll probably be the same as always. Maybe their dad's will accompany them. And dress the same as them. Which means Dusty will look terrifying because Cody is the most naked man to wrestle since Mideon. Seriously. No pads. Just underwear and shoes.

LEGACY'S

PREDICTED SHOWING AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

Randy Orton def. Legacy with some kind of double-punt.

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK: UNDERTAKER

18-0 or 17-1?

UNDERTAKER

WrestleMania Record: 17-0 (duh)

WrestleMania Moment: Probably beating everyone ever

WrestleMania History:

def. Jimmy Snuka (VII)

def. Jake Roberts (VIII)

def. Giant Gonzalez (IX)

def. King Kong Bundy (XI)

def. Diesel (XII)

def. Sycho Sid (13)

def. Kane (XIV)

def. The Big Boss Man (XV)

def. Triple H (X-Seven)

def. Ric Flair (X8)

def. The Big Show & A-Train (XIX)

def. Kane (XX)

def. Randy Orton (21)

def. Mark Henry (22)

def. Batista (23)

def. Edge (XXIV)

def. Shawn Michaels (XXV)

UNDERTAKER'S

MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - Unchained WWE Wallpapers

A rematch of the greatest WrestleMania match of all-time

UNDERTAKER'S

ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

- Beat 16 different guys at WrestleMania

- Beat Shawn Michaels

- Shawn was like "rematch?"

- Taker's like "nope."

- Shawn goes postal at the Royal Rumble but can't win it

- So naturally, Shawn climbs out from under the Elimination Chamber like a ninja turtle and kicks Undertaker in his dead face

- Shawn was like "rematch?"

- Taker's like "ya bud"

- Mind games ensue

UNDERTAKER'S

PREDICTED ENTRANCE AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Taker's entrance will be mind-numbingly epic. As many druids as there are fans. Smoke and fire and lightning and cauldrons and just craziness. He then slow-walks to the ring (unless one of those cauldrons get a hold of him, then it's a furious sprint) and he does the old "turn-the-lights-on-with-my-hands" thing, and there's more lightning and thunder.

But as he takes his hat off all dramatically, SHAWN SUPERKICKS HIS HEAD and begs for the bell to be rung! Taker kicks out, match continues, pants soiled.

UNDERTAKER'S

PREDICTED SHOWING AT WRESTLEMANIA XXVI

Photo - WWE.com

Undertaker def. Shawn Michaels to maintain the greatest streak in all of sports (suck it Cal Ripken)