SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE V - WTF THOUGHT I WAS DEAD LOL EDITION

Hello anyone who has stuck with me despite my sporadic, lengthy and unexplained disappearances. If you continue to read my blog (or Tumblr or Twitter or anything I do on Fair To Flair) even after I abandon it for weeks upon weeks of International super-benders, you are my hero and I thank you. But, I can't promise it won't happen again. I could up and leave at anytime. I'm like your step dad. Unless if you have a step dad that really does leave you all the time. In that case, I'm something less offensive. Because I'd never really leave you! I love you! C'mon, let's go have a catch.

But then after that I gotta go out for smokes (don't wait up). Love you!

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE

I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING

Photo - WWE.com

During my leave of absence (fifth one, if I counted correctly), as per usual, something HUGE happened and I missed it. For once can't nothing happen while I'm gone? Just send Melina out there to make faces for a few hours, no one will notice a difference. WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S FIRED?

While I try to accept this tragic loss, let's recap what I missed on my four previous wrestling-less sabbaticals:

SIBG 1: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler, MOTY at Bragging Rights

SIBG 2: The Miz cashes in, wins WWE Title

SIBG 3: Matt Hardy gets dreadlocks

SIBG 4: WrestleMania XXVII

SIBG 5: The biggest event of the summer, not without controversy or John Cena putting it all out there for the WWE Universe...

SUMMERSLAM 2011 JOHN CENA EXPOSES SELF ON TWITTER

WE CAN ALL SEE YOU NOW EW

Photo - John Cena's outbox of shame

Here's the part where I, a grown-up man (as grown-up as a wrestling fan on the Internet can be), talk about John Cena's penis (which conveniently rhymes; I expect him to use it in one of his rapping songs [he still does rap songs, right?]). Well, not really his penis. More like his penis region.

For those who don't know (and if you don't know, it's probably a testament to your character as a citizen of the world), John Cena tweeted a very sexualized picture of himself (uh, on purpose). It depicts him completely naked in the mirror, with the photo cutting off just before U Can't See his penis.

I'm not going to call this appalling or offensive or whatever, but I will give you my first, immediate thought:

THIS IS FUCKING WEIRD.

It literally gave me the "heebie jeebies" (eye cancer).

I just found it so bizarre, ESPECIALLY because it came in a string of tweets where he was answering fans' questions, some of which were asking about a future heel turn. He responded in classic John Cena form by saying, essentially "I am me. I do what I do, and you decide my fate" blah blah blah, where he says he's always the same and it's up to the fans whether they like him or not. Then he tweets a picture of his cock. HE'S GONE FULL HEEL! OR AT LEAST HALF-CHUB HEEL.

The weirdest part about it is how WWE TV and John Cena himself have made a point of letting us know that children love John Cena. Obviously women love Cena too, but it's the children that Cena has literally (literally literally!) defended on television. He's given speeches about how proud he is to be a hero to children and how if kids like him it shouldn't be a detriment to him as a man. This all happened recently. He's a saviour to Little Jimmies everywhere, and maybe he wanted to show us his Little Jimmy I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.

Let me put it this way. Had Shawn Michaels tweeted a picture of his penis region (or say, posed in Playgirl), I would be totally on board, because he is called a Sexy Boy; I know what I'm getting into. But if John Cena tweets a picture of his SuperDick, I might go, "hey, um, what the FUCK?!"

I'm trying to imagine what it would be like if Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin tweeted a sexualized naked picture of themselves to their fans, but my brain won't allow me to ruin all of wrestling for myself, so that's not happening. And it's one thing if it was a picture (like this one, or this one) that was dug up and posted on the internet by rabid fans. This was tweeted straight from the SuperHorse's fingertips.

Very strange and out of character both in and out of character.

Also very veiny.

The end.

SUMMERSLAM 2011

THE SECOND BIGGEST EVENT OF THE SUMMER

Photo - WWE.com

While I would love to write several paragraphs about Sheamus vs. Mark Henry or John Cena vs. CM Punk or Kelly Kelly impressing the shit out of everybody, I've already wasted about 90,000 words on John Cena's upper taint. So, instead, I'll point you in the direction of some fantastic reviews of the show, and then you can come back here to read about the most important figures in pro wrestling today, the Ultimate Warrior and Matt Hardy.

THE BEST AND WORST OF SUMMERSLAM 2011 BY BRANDON STROUD (WITH LEATHER)

I rep Brandon Stroud on this blog just a little bit less than Matt Hardy, but it's still an embarrassing amount. Go read his reviews. Derrick Bateman reads them. Do it for Derrick Bateman. Do it for Chicks and America. Do it for Maxine. That last part is for people who follow NXT, which may or may not include Derrick Bateman or Brandon Stroud or myself even.

SUMMERSLAM 2011 BY RAZOR (FAIR TO FLAIR, KICK-OUT!! WRESTLING)

In addition to abandoning this blog for several weeks, I also went missing from Fair To Flair. Thankfully, fellow FTF contributor Razor was there to make fun of WWE Cock Rock and Cee Lo Green, as well as give a very positive and fair (to flair) review.

HOW TO MAKE SOME FANS HAPPY, HOW TO MAKE SOME FANS UPSET BY K. SAWYER PAUL (FAIR TO FLAIR, INTERNATIONAL OBJECT)

In addition to changing gimmicks at blinding speed, K. Sawyer Paul has also provided the most succinct review of SummerSlam in two clever posts. He's also been taking over the sidebar of Fair To Flair with exactly what he promised - the best wrestling stories on the Internet. I can wholeheartedly say that if The Dirtsheets was a VHS tape of wrestling news, I'd be taping over that shit with Int'l Object even if I wasn't a part of FTF.

THE MASKED MAN (GRANTLAND, UH, TWITTER)

He doesn't have an article on SummerSlam, but his thoughts on Twitter are absolutely worth scrolling through. The Masked Man has brought wrestling writing to mainstream sports blogs like Deadspin, as well as Grantland, where he writes about wrestling alongside the likes of Chuck Klosterman and Bill Simmons. He also gives roommate reactions on Twitter, which provides such gems of insight as "He looks like a date rapist (roommate on The Miz)".

EDIT: Grantland just posted The Masked Man's SummerSlam article, Back to Unreality.

SEVERAL SUMMERSLAM POSTS! BY TOM HOLZERMAN (FAIR TO FLAIR, THE WRESTLING BLOG)

I'd be hard-pressed not to mention my blogging Brosa Mendes who wrote a review of SummerSlam, as well as individual posts about Sheamus/Mark Henry, Kelly Kelly and Commercials on PPV. If you want to read about SummerSlam, TH has every angle covered.

ULTIMATE WARRIOR

SMOKING ASS, OR SOMETHING? I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING ABOUT A GENIUS REAPER.

I think he showed up with a YouTube account to remind us that Matt Hardy eating grapes and tazing women isn't enough to out-crazy the Ultimate Warrior. Jesus, even John Cena is out-crazying Matt Hardy! What happened Matt? Get on YouTube and show us what you're made of already! I do appreciate you burning your garbage and blowing up aerosol cans or getting bumshit hammered or giving cooking lessons to nobody, but do you think that's enough to keep up with the Ultimate Warrior swearing at a fictional lazy person? Or John Cena getting as naked and veiny as he possibly can and tweeting a picture of himself? NO. NO MATT. NO.

You need to pull yourself up by the cargo pant pockets and prove just who really is the craziest fucking idiot on the Internet. Grab your flipcam, kiss your brother, throw Shannon Moore into a pile of syringes, I don't care. Just be the best idiot you can be. I believe in you.

RING OF HONOR + PRO WRESTLING GUERRILLA

TV TAPINGS, DBD IX, STEEN VS. FINLAY

Photo - ROHWrestling.com

ROH taped their first show for the Sinclair Broadcasting Group this past weekend. I didn't read spoilers, since I will be able to watch the show on my actual TV (September 24th), which makes me happy. Okay, I did read one spoiler, but it had nothing to do with match outcomes, so that's fine.

Ring Of Honor also announced the first match for Death Before Dishonor IX in New York this September, which will feature Roderick Strong and Eddie Edwards in a "Ringmaster Challenge" match, that has nothing to do with both guys getting managed by Ted DiBiase and wearing white boots. It's a Two Out of Three Falls match where the first fall can only be won by pinfall, the second fall can only be won by submission, and the third fall, if necessary (it'll be necessary), will be a 15 minute Iron Man match. This will be the kind of match for fans with workrate boners, and they're letting you know ahead of time.

PWG's 2011 Battle of Los Angeles is happening this Saturday, with Kevin Steen vs. Fit FUCKING Finlay as the most notable match on the card. I don't think there's anything left to say. This is going to be the realest shit ever forever hyperbole ever.

HULK HOGAN

REGRETS INVESTING IN MEATBALL MACHINE

Thank you dirtsheets for providing me with this headline, and the endless laughter. You will never top this. Never.

...

That is all.

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE IV - LIVE FROM TRUMP PLAZA

Or somewhere in communist Russia, depending on what IV you want me to reference.

This was the fourth time I've left this blog to fend for itself so I can go spelunking (not really), and it's also the longest I've left it without any real updates. The hardest thing about that is trying to get back in the saddle and write like I used to. So herw goesk nothgin.

SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE

I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING

Photo - WWE.com

I was gone for over a month this time, so it goes without saying that I managed to continue the tradition of missing something completely huge. Let's recap, shall we?

SIBG 1: Bryan/Ziggler's MOTY at Bragging Rights

SIBG 2: Miz cashes in, wins WWE Title

SIBG 3: Matt Hardy gets dreadlocks

SIBG 4: ...

WRESTLEMANIA XXVII

DAMMIT

Photo - WWE.com

Of course, I missed WrestleMania. Kind of. Not at all, really. I saw it live in a movie theatre, but in my eyes that's still missing it, because I'd much rather be watching it completely bumshit hammered in the privacy of my own home. Uh, with friends too, to make it (slightly) less pathetic.

It's a little late to do a complete rundown of the whole show (maybe, if anyone's interested, I could do a full-on Like/Dislike for the show some time down the road), and I'm short on time/your attention span. So for now, I'll just mention my favourite and least favourite thing, and they were pretty much one in the same.

Favourite: the main event video packages. More specifically, the one made for The Miz, set to "Hate Me Now" by Nas.

HOLY CRAP. I always knew the WWE were in the video package business, but this is other level shit. Normally you can see through them. Like when Wade Barrett makes John Cena raise his hand in the locker room for no other reason but to reference that exact moment three weeks later in a video package. And it was even worse before that.

The WWE went through a shitty period a couple years back where every video package was the exact same: triumphant, orchestral hits that score John Cena on an unstoppable path to the title until -- EVIL VILLAIN enters and makes the screen go slow motion and hazy and sad Spanish guitar* plays.

* - interchangeable with dissonant Arabic singing.

But when a video package is so good that it's the most memorable thing about a FUCKING WRESTLEMANIA (save for Triple H/Undertaker, which I did like a lot), then you know you're doing something right.

I also liked the John Cena/DMX one, even if it made little sense with all the religion and God-lovin' and junk. But the gospel choir did make sense because John Cena loves his preacher voice.

Least favourite: the main event.

I don't want to get into this, because it's been beat to death a hundred times over (which happened to Michael Cole at WrestleMania, right? I missed that part. ahem.). But here's the bottom line for me: Rock vs. Cena should've been a month ago. Instead, it's next fucking year and WrestleMania 27 ended like a $65 episode of Raw.

Or, a $120 episode of Raw my three friends and I had to watch in public, with children and angsty teens taking sides on John Cena and the Rock all around us. GODDAMNIT

EDDIE EDWARDS

ROH WORLD CHAMPION

YEAH. This footage can really stiffen a nipple or two. Not only do I love Eddie Edwards, but I love a good rollup win - especially in ROH where it's not that common for a title change. Small aside - what do you think of when you think of a rollup win? Bret/Bulldog SummerSlam '92? Steamboat/Savage WrestleMania III? HBK/Jericho WrestleMania XIX? Bret/Diesel possum pin from an In Your House that I can't remember but I'm sure someone (Jason) will correct me on?

But that's not all that happened while I was gone...

CHARLIE HAAS & SHELTON BENJAMIN

DETHRONE THE KINGS OF WRESTLING

Photo - ROHWrestling.com

And also...

TOUGH ENOUGH

DEBUTS

Photo - USANetwork.com

NOT TO MENTION

SIN CARA

DEBUTS

Photo - WWE.com

PLUS

AWESOME KONG

TEASER PROMO

OH YEAH AND

EDGE RETIRES

IRL

Photo - WWE.com

AND THIS HAPPENED

BRIAN CHRISTOPHER

WHAT

Photo - WWE.com

I CAN'T STOP YOU GUYS

TEAM

APPLE

Photo - WWE.com

AND

MANY OTHER THINGS

Photo - WWE.com

My. GOD. There is too much to mention. I've been sitting here looking at this list of shit that happened since I've been gone, just VIBRATING from too much caffeine and this overwhelming task weighing on my shoulders (that I imposed on myself like an idiot).

So there you have it. A bunch of things happened since I last posted here. Now I can get back to talking about things as they happen.

Before I go, some quick shoutouts: thanks to the Fair To Flair fellers for covering for me and letting everyone know I was out on "assignment." And thanks to my blogging DZP (down with Zack and Pri-bro) TH for letting his readers know about my reblogs.

And lastly, some link changes. Brandon Stroud linked me to the new home for the Best and Worst of Raw, which has moved to With Leather. And fellow Fair To Flair contributor K. Sawyer Paul has rebranded The Footnotes of Wrestling to Aggressive Art.

THERE. Done all my announcements. Someone else do attendance while I put my head down on my desk for a while.

THE FUTURE ENDEAVORS POWER POLL: 03/05/11

Every week I, along with several other wrestling blogs (including my Abe "Knucklebro" Schwartz, TH of The Wrestling Blog), will be sending in my top ten wrestlers to Don Owens of Future Endeavors. My votes are compiled with those of the other bloggers and that gives us the Power Poll. Here's this week's rankings (go to Future Endeavors to view the official write-up) and don't forget to check out the Future Endeavors Podcast.

NUMBER ONE THIS WEEK

THE MIZ, PROBABLY FOR THIS TWITPIC

Photo - @mikethemiz

NOT RANKED THIS WEEK

MATT HARDY, PROBABLY FOR THIS TWITPIC

Photo - @MATTHARDYBRAND

FUTURE ENDEAVORS POWER POLL: 03/05/11

1. The Miz

2. The Rock

3. Triple H

4. John Cena

5. Edge

6. CM Punk

7. Alberto Del Rio

8. Cody Rhodes

9. Randy Orton

10. Jack Swagger

PIZZABODYSLAM POWER POLL VOTES: 03/05/11

1. Chris Hero

2. Claudio Castagnoli

- IN KAYFABE: Retained the most prestigious tag team belts in all of wrestling, the ROH World Tag Team Titles, at ROH's 9th Anniversary show; let the people know that they've gone everywhere and beaten everybody, except for Puerto Rico; an angry Puerto Rican named Homicide took offence.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Of the two tag team matches on the show, I enjoyed the Kings of Wrestling vs. The All Night Express the most. Haas/Benjamin vs. The Briscoes was great, but the crowd was hanging on every moment (and every word - "HEY!!!"), and ANX brought it like they've never brought it before.

3. Cody Rhodes

- IN KAYFABE: Attacked and unmasked Rey Mysterio with the help of his dad (it's nice when fathers and sons do things together); ...everyone was staring at him.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: He is easily my favourite part of SmackDown. I loved everything he did. I already gushed about this in my SmackDown review, so I won't go on and on about it. But I will brush my hair like this everyday from now on.

4. Triple H

- IN KAYFABE: Said if he can't kill the Undertaker, he'll die trying; apparently wants the nickname "The Last Outlaw" too, because THE DESTROYER never really stuck (only with me); kicked an Irishman in the balls; cried.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: I was maybe the one person on the internet who liked Triple H's promo on Monday. It didn't really connect with live crowd, he "buried" the entire roster, and then proceeded to dispose of Sheamus a DX glowstick. But there was some weird emotional thing going on too. I like it when Triple H cries, or at least when he makes those strange guttural noises when he's mad at Randy Orton.

5. Christopher Daniels

6. Eddie Edwards

- IN KAYFABE: These two had an awesome 2/3 Falls match for the TV Title at ROH's 9th Anniversary Show.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: The match included a top rope hurricanrana from Edwards to Daniels that somehow busted the top of Daniels' head open. Don't know if it was a blade. Don't know how it happened. Don't know if it's a work or a shoot. I love Ring of Honor.

7. Roderick Strong

- IN KAYFABE: Retained his ROH World Championship in an impromptu Barrios Street Fight against Homicide.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Remains the guy that you forget is awesome, even though he's the World Champion. He's also a guy that gets picked on way too much by internet fans. I'm always in awe of his actual athletic ability, and how he seemingly never gets tired.

8. Jack Swagger

- IN KAYFABE: Was named Michael Cole's trainer for the Cole/Lawler WrestleMania match; put Jerry Lawler in the ankle lock; made short work of an already injured Kofi Kingston on SmackDown.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: I know this happened this week on SmackDown. But. This.

9. Kenny King

10. Rhett Titus

- IN KAYFABE: Fell short in their quest for the ROH World Tag Team Titles.

- OUT OF KAYFABE: Kenny King landed a never-before-attempted Shooting Star Press in a true OMFG moment. Even though they rapped their promo in the VideoWire, they've been stepping it up quite a bit lately in the ring. Between their match with Cole and O'Reilly at Final Battle and now this match with the Kings of Wrestling, the All Night Express of elevated themselves big time in my eyes.

Well it looks like my efforts to get ROH into the Power Poll didn't pan out so well. Maybe this week we can at least get Colt Cabana in there for winning the NWA World Heavyweight Title. Yes, this is me campaigning for votes.

FUTURE ENDEAVORS INFO TO KNOW:

Future Endeavors - The Site

Future Endeavors - The Podcast

Future Endeavors Power Poll Voters - The Twitter Feeds

Future Endeavors Hosts on Twitter - Future Endeavors,Don Owens, Corey Santiago & Fat Man After Dark

THE 2/22 ROH VIDEOWIRE: PREVIEWING THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

This weekend, Ring of Honor is celebrating their 9th anniversary with two shows - tonight in Dayton, and tomorrow in Chicago (and live on iPPV) for their actual 9th Anniversary Show. Both cards are pretty stacked, and considering that in the past while they've lost Kevin Steen, Austin Aries, Tyler Black, Delirious, Necro Butcher and others, that is impressive. Here's what's in the final VideoWire before the big event on Saturday.

ROH 02/22/11 VIDEOWIRE

PREVIEWING THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

IN THIS VIDEO

- ROH World Champion Roderick Strong seals his promo with a kiss.

- Christopher Daniels and Eddie Edwards put over the importance of being a champion in Ring of Honor. Their match on Saturday will no doubt be a highlight for the weekend.

- The Kings of Wrestling don't think Kenny King is "tough enough" to hang with the ROH World Tag Team Champions.

- Rhett Titus and Kenny King, the All Night Express, RAP THEIR PROMO. NOT EVEN JOKING. DYING OVER HERE. Titus has got FLOW.

- Steve Corino turning over a new leaf. I love this story. Seeing Corino struggling to be the ultimate good guy is both hilarious, and maybe something that hasn't really been done before (someone will probably correct me on that). His "I can have a five star match... if you give me a two star curve" comment cracked me up. So did his teasing of the thumb in the bum. That really... cracked... me up. I hate myself.

- Truth Martini and Michael Elgin speak. Truth Martini might be the most hate-able man in wrestling. Whenever I see him, I want to punch him in the face. Then, I stop to think about how great he is at being a heel and looking like a guy you want to punch in the face. But then I still want to punch him in the face. And I want to punch myself in the face for thinking about Truth Martini for this long.

- Homicide brings the real talk to Roderick Strong. He also says he might do the "Homicide Shuffle" with Colt Cabana in Chicago, but he could say anything and I'd be scared.

No sign of the Briscoes or Haas and Benjamin, but an entertaining twenty minutes nonetheless.

Here are the cards, hype and tweets for this weekend.

Friday, February 25th

DAYTON, OHIO - "WORLD'S GREATEST"

Tickets + Info

SIX MAN MAIN EVENT - "WORLD'S GREATEST" COLLIDE

ROH World Champion Roderick Strong

ROH World Tag Team Champions The Kings of Wrestling

VS.

Davey Richards

"Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team" Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin

TOP CONTENDERS COLLIDE

Homicide VS. El Generico

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST FINALS REMATCH

Eddie Edwards VS. Kenny King

SPECIAL CHALLENGE

Michael Elgin VS. ROH World TV Champion Christopher Daniels

SPECIAL ATTRACTION #1

Jay Briscoe VS. Kyle O'Reilly

SPECIAL ATTRACTION #2

Mark Briscoe VS. "The Prodigy" Mike Bennett

FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL

Colt Cabana

VS.

Rhett Titus

VS.

Mike Mondo

VS.

Andy "Right Leg" Ridge

TAG TEAM ACTION

The Bravado Brothers VS. Steve Corino & Grizzly Redwood

Saturday, February 26th

CHICAGO RIDGE, IL - "9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW"

Tickets + Info - ORDER NOW at GoFightLive

ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH - NO HOLDS BARRED BARRIO STREET FIGHT

Roderick Strong defends VS. Homicide

ROH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

"The Kings of Wrestling" Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli

defend VS.

"The All Night Express" Rhett Titus & Kenny King

ROH WORLD TV CHAMPIONSHIP - 2/3 FALLS

Christopher Daniels defends VS. Eddie Edwards

FIRST TIME EVER - DREAM TAG TEAM MATCH

"The Briscoes" Jay & Mark

VS.

"Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team" Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION

Colt Cabana VS. Davey Richards

SPECIAL CHALLENGE MATCH

Michael Elgin VS. El Generico

WOMEN OF HONOR

Sara Del Rey VS. MsChif

FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL

Steve Corino

VS.

Kyle O'Reilly

VS.

Grizzly Redwood

VS.

"The Prodigy" Mike Bennett

TWEETS FOR THIS WEEKEND'S SHOWS

@ROHonHDNet

@Sheltyb803

@ccastagnoli

@theChrisHero

@SteveCorino

And finally, here are five reasons why you should order this show:

1. ROH's track record. They have literally never let me down when ordering one of their iPPVs.

2. Tag Team Wrestling. Two of the potential best matches on this card are tag team matches. You don't get that anywhere else.

3. GoFightLive allows you to watch at anytime. So even if you're someone who's looking to watch UFC that night, you can still get 9th Anniversary Show as soon as the next day (usually).

4. Christopher Daniels vs. Eddie Edwards. Their match at Supercard of Honor V was a phenomenal showcase of technical wrestling. It was one of those matches that makes you forget the pro wrestling is two guys cooperating, not two guys trying to out-wrestle each other. This match has the potential to steal the entire weekend to me.

5. There is selling.

This last point is a rebuttal to my good buddy TH over at The Wrestling Blog. He has been doing a series of posts titled "Intro to Match Analysis," and the latest one is all about selling. TH has this to say:

"Whenever I see a match featuring Shingo Tagaki or Davey Richards, and all they do is kick the other guy, take kicks and move around like nothing's wrong, it only reinforces that vile, four-lettered "f" word that haters of the artform bandy about like a sharp blade around the soft flesh of our fandom. Fake."

Now TH, we're still bros and all, but I can't help myself here.

I think a lot of people who write about wrestling on the internet have a list of keywords in their head when they watch wrestling. Where these keywords came from, I don't know. But typically these words are "storytelling," "psychology," and "selling." I think a lot of us love to use these words, and we also use these words incorrectly, probably because we just watch wrestling and that's it. I'm certainly not saying I know what these words mean more than anybody else, I don't. But I feel the need to defend Davey Richards and, similarly, ROH for a second.

I am not an authority on the matter AT ALL. I watch a lot of wrestling and love it and will be a fan until I die (probably of watching too much wrestling). I can watch Davey Richards and KENTA kick each other's faces off in a moment of "fighting spirit" and I can watch John Cena sell a stomp for forty-five seconds. The difference is that I see these two moments as two separate worlds.

I just see it as ROH (or Dragon Gate) putting themselves over as the "best wrestling in the world" and therefore you need to do more to their top guys to put them out. It's not a question of selling, it's a question of style. And if John Cena and Randy Orton started trading sequences of big moves like Roddy Strong hitting a Gutbuster, then a Sick Kick, then a Gibson Driver all in the span of three seconds, then yeah, that wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. It's the style of the promotion that drives the selling. To me. I don't know. Who the fuck am I to say. I've seen Rich Franklin knock Chuck Liddell out with a broken arm without flinching, so who knows what amount of selling is enough or not enough to make any kind of pro wrestling seem "real."

I feel dumber for writing this. But, I'd like to hear what TH has to say. I know he's a fan of ROH (and I turned this into an ROH-related argument only because he mentioned Davey, and I'm talking 9th Anniversary stuff here), although this seems to be more directed at Dragon Gate, which has the volume turned up even more on the "unbelievable" style of wrestling/selling/whatever you want to call it.

Anyway, with that said... E-FIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHT!