IT'S A WRESTLING COMBAT SPORTS WEEKEND!

Here's my schedule for the next four days (because I know you care)!

NOW

Sit in my tank top contemplating toasting a bagel (then eating said bagel) while the Real Housewives of Atlanta is on TV.

3:00

Play Red Dead Redemption until I've gone cross-eyed.

7:30

Buy beer

7:59

Drink beer

8:00

Smackdown!

10:00

Leave to go try and get in to Fozzy at the Tattoo Rock Parlour here in Toronto.

10:10

Remind myself that I've never been to a metal show in my life and should probably invest in earplugs.

11:00

Wonder why Chris Jericho isn't Liontamering the shit out of everyone.

11:01

Remind myself that this is a concert.

TOMORROW - 11:00

Wake up.

11:10

Regret rushing the stage last night to try and hurricanrana Chris Jericho.

12:15

Get called a pussy on Xbox Live.

12:16

Send a message back to that person that's in text and full of typos because I truly am too much of a pussy to connect my headset for real.

2:00

Throw on ROH's The Omega Effect (even though I was at that show) in an attempt to catch up on DVDs.

5:00

Get reminded of how good Omega/Aries was from that show.

7:30

Buy beer.

7:59

Drink beer.

8:00

Pre-game for UFC with either some 1997 WWF or some UFC Undisputed 2010 or something equally as awesome.

10:00

UFC 117

2:00

Pass out with dreams of Anderson Silva beating Chael Sonnen into obliteratitry dancing through my head.

SUNDAY - 11:00

Wake up.

11:10

Resolve to never drink again due to a debilitating hangover.

11:30

Buy beer.

12:00

Remind myself that I'm actually going to be watching a TNA PPV live.

12:01

Feel more sick from that than when I was crippled from my hangover.

1:30

Throw on ECW One Night Stand 2005 to set the bar way too high for tonight's show.

4:30

Throw on an episode of Impact to lower the bar back down.

6:30

Throw on Thursday's episode of Big Brother 12 to raise it back up a bit.

7:58

Wonder what the best way to prepare for HardCORE Justice is.

7:59

Drink the night dry.

8:00

HardCORE Justice!

11:00

Weep for the future of the wrestling business. Or for how good RVD/Lynn was. Either way I will be shedding some sort of shame-tears.

MONDAY - 11:00

Wake up.

11:10

Feel my brain leak out my ears and my balls fall off because I sit watching naked men pretend to fight each other while I type on my laptop all day every day.

8:00

Cure my brain leakage and ball lossage by watching ROH On HDNet!

9:00

Then watch RAW.

11:00

The end!

Anyone else doing anything this weekend?

OPERATION "RELIVE CHILDHOOD": THE 1997 ODYSSEY

THE BACKSTORY

1997 may be heralded as one of the greatest years of mainstream professional wrestling in the United States. This year was the build for some of the most memorable moments in WWF history.

So we (hi steve) have taken it upon ourselves to re-feel the feelings we had as 11 year olds (10 year olds for the first half of the year), when Stone Cold Steve Austin won the Royal Rumble and set up the Final Four main event, when Shawn Michaels lost his smile, when Bret Hart shoved Vince McMahon onto his rear end, and the infamous Montreal Screwjob.

Or how about Austin vs. Bret at WM13? Or the beginning of D-Generation X? The rise of The Rock? The debut of (THATS GOTTA BE) KANE?!

There are countless moments from 1997 that are worth rewatching - but rewatching them IN CONTEXT of the entire year's worth of programming? Now THAT is an odyssey.

THE MISSION

To rewatch every Monday Night RAW, every Shotgun Saturday Night, and every Pay-Per-View Event put on by the World Wrestling Federation in the year of 1997.

THE PARALLELS

The timing of this odyssey couldn't be more perfect. Watching Bret Hart "shoot" on Vince McMahon about being screwed by everybody (1997), only to tune into RAW to see the conclusion to this epic thirteen year story (2010) is fucking crazy.

Even watching RAW from '97, seeing what they were broadcasting in competition to WCW's nWo... then tuning into Impact to see The Band get back together, is madness in it's own right.

What's even more interesting is comparing the difference between what the WWF was then to what the WWE is now. Be it comparing production values (the grainy, call-it-as-we-see-it presentation of RAW IS WAR vs. the HD, action-entertainment style of RAW today), matches (the unpredictable, old-school, lengthy contests of '97 vs. the short, watered-down style of 2010), or feuds (the edgy, reality-based, emotional feuds of yesteryear vs. the ADHD, belt-hotshotting, scripted drama of the now) - the gap between the F and the E is much easier to take in when you follow both one week at a time.

ON DECK FOR TONIGHT

WRESTLEMANIA 13

We are already three months deep in our odyssey. Given that there's enough time, we'll be watching the biggest WWF PPV event of the year, and seeing how the event itself, as well as the build for it, stacks up against the WrestleMania that's set to take place 14 years later (a.k.a. 6 weeks from now).

Here's the card (no 13 year old spoilers here!):

FREE-FOR-ALL

Billy Gunn vs. Flash Funk (with Tracy and Nadine)

FATAL FOURWAY ELIMINATION TAG TEAM MATCH

The New Blackjacks (Windham and Bradshaw)

vs.

The Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher)

vs.

The Godwinns (Henry and Phineas, with Hillbilly Jim)

vs.

Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon

WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

Champion Rocky Maivia vs. Challenger The Sultan (with Bob Backlund and The Iron Sheik)

SINGLES MATCH

Goldust (with Marlena) vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley (with Chyna)

WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Champions Owen Hart and The British Bulldog vs. Challengers Mankind and Vader (with Paul Bearer)

SUBMISSION MATCH

SPECIAL REFEREE: Ken Shamrock

Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin

CHICAGO STREET FIGHT

The Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal) and Ahmed Johnson

vs.

The Nation of Domination (Crush, Faarooq and Savio Vega, with Wolfie D, J.C. Ice and Clarence Mason)

MAIN EVENT: WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Champion Sycho Sid vs. Challenger The Undertaker

So be prepared for the potential of a dual Monday Night RAW review coming each Monday. One from today, one from thirteen glorious years ago.