Wednesday, June 2, 2010


I don't even think I need to write about RAW. It was too fun to watch just as a fan, I don't want to ruin it by dissecting every segment. Evan Bourne was the star, Santino was funnier than ever (and had the crowd eating out of his hand) and Ashton Kutcher was great (even if he was clearly not there).

And the American FUCKING Dragon stole the show - he is such a bonafide star it actually scares me.

So instead of breaking the show down, here are a few things I wrote down while watching the show:

RAW 5/31/10
Photo -

- No one can fold-up Wile E. Coyote style like Evan Bourne.

- Daniel Bryan getting the Ashton Kutcher rub!

- The farm hand is a reference to a joke he made on Punk'd once. How I know that, I don't know.

- And Eve asking to see the farm hand is just about the creepiest thing she could ask. If she asked to see his cock I'd be far less creeped out.

- R-Truth's overtly sexual pelvic thrust dance taunt being described as "R-Truth's unorthodox style" by Michael Cole makes me instantly think of Michael Cole fantasizing about sex with R-Truth.

- R-Truth nearly paralyzed Chris Jericho with his unorthodox style!

- The number of times Cole has said "belly" instead of "stomach" leads me to believe he has the brain of a seven year old boy.

- Bret Hart using his Lonesome Dove acting chops.

- holy hell i'm dying over here. santino is the funniest man on earth. regal (with his "bloody pathetic!!!" and "RIHZGUFSGSIHAOAIH!!!") is a close second.

- YES. Daniel Bryan vs. Miz. My good god. How long I have waited. Okay, like a couple months I guess.

- Greatest segment of television I've seen since Jack realized that he too died.

- Weird segment. Jerry Lawler pretends… then Khali just comes out. Who is still supposed to be in India getting ready to be a World Champion. And it's not him. It's Goldust. No wait, it's one of their "DAMN" segments that upsets my bowels.

- I miss Tony Chimel's "Rated R… SoooOOOOOoperstarrr…"

- I think my two favourite misheard lyrics are Brandon Stroud's "It's a shameful thing, LOBSTER HEAD" and Mario of POW's "APPLEDOUGH" (John Cena).

- Holy shit Evan Bourne main event!

- Evan Bourne looks like a ninth grader next to John Cena, who looks like four or five grown men stuffed inside a Marky Mark halloween costume.

- Evan Bourne, when he gets hit with a big clothesline or something, always reminds me of when video game characters go into rag-doll physics, or whatever it's called when someone gets hit by a car in GTA IV.

- John Cena is more excited on the apron than the fat children watching him in the crowd.

- Crowd is hot as blazes for this main event. They want a comeback like nobody's business. Maybe like Vince McMahon's business.

- Nothing pleases me more than a mark crowd that unconditionally cheers faces and boos heels.

- HUGE night for Evan Bourne. Insane. I love it. Even though I know it's not like it's the beginning of a long term push or anything. Just an awesome show.

Now, onto the second part of this post - KENNY OMEGA.

Browsing Kotaku today, I was surprised to see this post, which included this awesome video of Kenny Omega. Enjoy!

1 comment:

  1. raw was in fine form this monday nite - for the sake of it i counted 15 commercials for MEAT and an additional 4 for milk and dairy