So instead, here are the most notable things I missed over the past two weeks:
DANIEL BRYAN
UNLEASHES THE AMERICAN DRAGON
Photo - WWE.com
Nothing made me angrier than Daniel Bryan getting kicked off NXT.
Nothing made me happier than seeing Daniel Bryan make reference to Bryan Danielson and beat the giggles out of Michael Cole two weeks in a row. NXT went from being an AWESOME show, to a piece of crap, and is now a one-segment show - tuning in to see what kind of insanity Danielson will unload on Michael Cole.
RING OF HONOR
HYPE VIDEOS THAT HYPE ME UP
Photo - ROHWrestling.com
ThatWrestlingShow has the Midas (or CM Punk, as it's known in wrestling circles) Touch when it comes to making hype videos for ROH. This one features Michael FRIGGIN Jordan as the narrator. The idea of tying Michael Jordan into a preview for an independent wrestling iPPV blows my mind. Check it:
ROH also revealed some AWESOME footage from this month's Supercard of Honor V in New York, which makes my dingle tingle:
And finally, a quick little preview for Death Before Dishonor VIII in Toronto. I can't even begin to tell you how overcome with jealous rage I am, knowing that I will be out of town on the 19th and won't be able to go to this iPPV taping. But, I suppose there is an upside, as I will be able to watch it online. Oh, Ring of Honor... you sure know make still my beating heart:
WWE OVER THE LIMIT
CM PUNK AND REY MYSTERIO STEAL THE SHOW
Photo - WWE.com
The show itself wasn't incredible, but still not as bad as I was bracing for (I brace for bad PPVs by huffing glue before they begin)!
Punk/Rey was fucking incredible. I loved this match. I watched this on my laptop with headphones on and my girlfriend in the room, and when Punk threw Rey into the barber's chair headfirst making him accordion up like Wile E. Coyote, I made a noise so strange that she thought something was wrong with ME.
Then the blood started glugging out of Punk's head, and the doctor took his sweet time getting over to him, and I started wondering if this match was going to lose steam. NOPE. GAINED STEAM. Because CM Punk is a psychopath. When he started racing around full-tilt with Mysterio looking like he was going to end his life, I screamed for help.
And finally, the head-shaving. They were THIS (I'm holding my forefinger and thumb VERY CLOSE TOGETHER) CLOSE to doing a crucifixion, the way Punk was handcuffed to the ropes and hanging off the apron. Awesome, awesome segment.
The rest of the PPV was kinda fun, kinda whatever, but watching Punk/Rey was definitely the stand-out highlight. Kofi/Drew was okay with a hot crowd. Ted/Truth was better than expected, and went much longer than expected, and had a different outcome than expected. Harts/Mizico (JeriMiz?) was good too, but the crowd killed it with their Y2J chants (don't you understand!? You chant GO JERICHO GO).
Big Show/Swagger, again, more fun than expected but very short. Divas match was okay, but definitely served the purpose of a cool down for Cena/Batista, which was an action-entertainment extravaganza. If you don't like the stunts and silliness of the new WWE PPV main event style, you did not like this match. I, for one, did like the insanity of this, especially whenever John Cena made a funny face (which was always).
The biggest disappointment was Edge/Orton, and that was beyond their control. The match that they managed to get through wasn't very exciting, but I assume what they had planned for the finish would've saved it all. Instead, Randy Orton beat himself up. But credit to Edge for improvising the double countout finish, giving the crowd one more pop with the missed-spear spot at the end.
FANTASTIC WRESTLING
ON WWE TV
Photo - WWE.com
Pretty awesome to see Edge/Christian on RAW, Punk/Rey on Smackdown! and Christian/Kofi for the Intercontinental Title on Smackdown! All really fun matches with super hot crowds. Can't ask for much more.
BATISTA, CARLITO
GONE
Photo - WWE.com
Batista quitting was AWESOME. So is TH's very scientific graphing of Batista's WWE career. I didn't see the Carlito segment.
REALIZED WRESTLING IS MORE ENJOYABLE
WITHOUT DIRT SHEETS!
Photo - WWE.com
This, I already knew, but haven't tried in ages. It was like coming up for air or something. Without reading rumour websites, I'm sure I avoided ruining the surprise that Christian would face Edge on RAW, or Undertaker would appear, or that Abraham Washington was rumoured as the RAW GM, and all that annoying, useless crap that makes it less enjoyable as a fan. Let's see if I can keep it up.
FORGOT ABOUT...
TNA
Photo - TNAWrestling.com
HULK HOGAN
SUES FRED FLINSTONE
STEEN VS. GENERICO
TORONTO - JUNE 19th - DBDH VIII
Photo - ROHWrestling.com
Once again. Livid with jealousy.
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