Monday, March 7, 2011


Or is that the actual definition of premonition? What is the definition of premonition? I need to stop rhyming because this is turning into a Savage Garden song. I'm too lazy to look it up, but let me just continue on as if I know what the word means.

Just today, announced that famous troll woman Snooki will be hosting RAW next week. Naturally, everybody complained and then everybody else told them to calm down. But let's talk about the most important part - how I predicted this trend almost a year ago.

I proposed an idea for a wrestling character based on a Jersey Shore "dancing asshole." It wasn't long until Robbie E debuted in TNA, J-WOWW and Angelina started appearing on Impact, and now Snooki is hosting RAW. I'm a fucking genius!

And tonight, Stone Cold Steve Austin is hosting RAW. It was almost exactly a year ago to the day when Austin last hosted RAW, and I had prayed for a CM Punk/Stone Cole showdown of some kind. It didn't end up happening. But earlier today, Punk had this to say on Twitter:


Even my girlfriend is in on this premonition business. I should warn you that I'm about to both spoil the movie Hall Pass (uh, a small part of it), and talk about penises. This is your chance to stop reading. Or continue reading if you enjoy Owen Wilson and male genitalia.


Looks like you're a fan! Okay, so the other night, my girlfriend had a really weird dream. She dreamt that she was at a party, walked into the bathroom, and saw two people, both African American (it's important to the story, I swear!) one male, one female, naked in the tub, with the guy just awkwardly rubbing his penis on the girl's face. Yep. You know that now. You can't not know that now.

So then later that night we went and saw Hall Pass. There is a scene when Owen Wilson is in a jacuzzi at a gym, falls asleep, and gets rescued by a big naked black man, and Owen's head gets nuzzled right up near his giant penis.

Tub. Big black penis. Right by the face. PREMONITION.

Did you need to know this? Certainly not. But we were freaking out in the theatre, and I felt the need to share it with you.

Please still come to my blog.

The end.

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