2009 IN REVIEW: COMPLETE!

And not a month and too soon!

Here's all the tags you need to browse through the entire recap in sections:

2009 IN REVIEW

2010 IN PREVIEW

MOMENTS 2009

STARS 2009

NEWS 2009

FEUDS 2009

TRANSFORMED 2009

FML 2009

LETDOWNS 2009

LIVE 2009

MATCHES 2009

So long, 2009.

2009 IN REVIEW: HOME STRETCH

As I mentioned in my last post, it's taking a coon's age (a COON'S!) to finish this 2009 review. I didn't have too much left to cover, but I didn't want to just leave these things behind.

So here is what remains of my 2009 review:

MOMENTS

2009

CM PUNK CASHES IN - AGAIN

I got nervous nerd sweats when Punk came out and cashed in his MITB contract on Jeff Hardy, in fear of him being the first guy to fail. But he didn't. And I nerd-rejoiced. Unlike this guy. Holy fuck is that hilarious to listen to.

SEEING KENTA AND NAKAJIMA LIVE IN THE SAME YEAR

I was super lucky this past year as I got to see both KENTA and Katsuhiko Nakajima wrestle live in front of my face, both for ROH events. The atmosphere was incredible for both of them.

ROH WORLD TITLE CHANGES

After 545 days of Nigel McGuinness holding the ROH World Title, two title changes in the same year was massive. The crowd reactions are always goose-pimply to watch.

SANTINO MARELLA

Santino is, full-stop, the funniest man to come through the WWE since Chris Jericho. No matter how bad RAW would get, if Santino showed up, I could laugh through the tears.

STARS

2009

Photo courtesy of Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

NIGEL MCGUINNESS

Even with the two title changes this year, some people forget that Nigel still held the ROH belt for the first four months of this year, and knocked out some great matches before becoming Desmond Wolfe - where he was elevated to the main event (for a sec) with matches against Kurt Angle.

HONOURABLE MENTION: MIZ AND MORRISON

Both of these guys managed to succeed without their bro by winning the US and Intercontinental titles, respectively. Once it's time for them to step up to the main event, it'll feel special, as they've been making that climb nice and slow.

HONOURABLE MENTION: KOFI KINGSTON

Hey, apparently Kofi has charisma! All it took was for him to speak like he normally does, instead of with an accent they made him speak with! It's GENIUS! His feud with Randy Orton had it's ups and downs, and we'll have to wait for 2010 to see where it took him for keeps.

FEUDS

2009

Photo courtesy of Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

AMERICAN WOLVES VS. KEVIN STEEN & EL GENERICO

The blood feud of the year managed to spark what should be the blood feud of this year. With Steen and Generico losing to the Wolves, then ultimately, the Bucks at Final Battle, Kevin Steen turned on his best bud in a brutal way. But before that, Steenerico fought tooth and nail with the Wolves throughout 2009 and put forward some incredible matches.

HONOURABLE MENTION: CHRISTIAN VS. JACK SWAGGER

Remember when ECW was great? Well, I actually don't know how it is now, since it's been AWOL in Canada, but there was a time at the start of this year when ECW was awesome. Christian and Jack Swagger put on some fantastic TV matches the built to PPV matches, and had a great feud that pitted Christian, a super believable babyface that's easy to get behind, against Jack Swagger, the easier to hate, lisp carrying heel.

FML

2009

GUEST HOST CIRCUS

Kofi Johnson. Evan Braun. SummerFest. "The Show" Triple H. "The Man" Mark Henry. There's gotta be more. Bottom line: RAW was a dice roll every week since Donald Trump came round. Sometimes you rolled a 6 and scored Bob Barker. Other (most) times you rolled a 1 and got Joey Kyle and Jeff Joey or whoever the fuck those Nascar dorks were. Sometimes the show was a trainwreck. Other times it was a hit because of how much of a hilarious trainwreck it was. The worst part is that RAW is being sold to us as a show that asks you to tune in for, not wrestling (sometimes not even storylines!), but to buy whatever some Z-list celebrity is selling.

I can't wait to look back on this in a couple years and be reminded of how this gimmick cheapened any potentially good storyline (ex: Hey, remember that sweet feud DX had? It all started when Verne Troyer got mad because last week Cedric the Entertainer made a match that... ah gad).

HORNSWOGGLE/DXCAPADES

I don't understand the kind of person that is old enough to remember DX but laughs at Hornswoggle. Makes me want to barf.

KID ROCK'S WRESTLEMANIA AIRTIME

Dude spent like twenty minutes rocking out, and got more airtime than JBL/Mysterio from this year (probably countless other guys from other years - like Lance Storm who's got a grand total of 0 WM minutes!). And using his performance to introduce the divas for the battle royale was completely retarded, considering that no one even knew the ones that were returning. God DAMN.

LETDOWNS

2009

JACK SWAGGER MOVED TO RAW

Seriously. Swagger was getting deadly heat on ECW as the top heel. His move to RAW seemed like it was going to be a big deal. It wasn't. He's getting played like the "goofy" heel who loses every week. I fear for his career sometimes. Godspeed, Jack Swagger.

MATT HARDY

Another ECW-to-main-roster letdown. Matt Hardy still gets a pretty big pop for a guy that's done nothing for the past who knows how long. Teaming with The Great Khali has to be a bummer.

TRANSFORMED

2009

Photo courtesy of Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography

CHRIS HERO - TO - THAT YOUNG KNOCKOUT KID

Hero went from being a guy that wasn't featured on every ROH event, to a guy who his at the top of the main event scene. From Sweet 'N' Sour to concussing with his kicks and givin' KO's with his elbows. Hero is the real deal.

BIG SHOW - TO - ENTERTAINING?

Big Show started 2009 as a love interest for Vickie Guerrero. He then actually became entertaining when he found himself paired with Chris Jericho (can that man do ANY wrong?!), spending four months as an integral part of both RAW and Smackdown! But now he's back to being just same old angry Big Show. Eh.

"HEH HEH" BATISTA - TO - "UR SPOSEDA BE MY FRENNNN!!!" BATISTA

I, as much as anybody, was totally sick of that "I shrug off anything because wrestling is fake" Batista. Batista makes so much more sense as a heel to me. And he's killing it on Smackdown! right now.

LIVE

2009

ROH IN NOVI - "ARIES VS. RICHARDS"

Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards was the best match I've ever seen live. The rest of the show, wasn't as great, because that would be impossible, but it was still totally awesome. Steenerico vs. The Young Bucks ruled, as did Hero/Strong. The other highlight would have to be Omega facing Nakajima, which, if I remember correctly, had kind of a fucked up finish, but only because Omega was dropped on his head earlier in the match with a super high angle German Suplex.

ROH IN MISSISSAUGA - "THE OMEGA EFFECT"

Omega vs. Aries was a fantastic match, but maybe not quite as good as Aries' match the night before with Davey. The show was, again, awesome, with Generico/Nakajima maybe topping Omega/Nakajima. I got to see some sweet live wrestling this year.

And that's all. Stay tuned for my final wrap-up that will separate all categories for easy navigation. NEAT!

MOMENTS 2009: ORTON PUNTS VINCE, RKO'S AND KISSES STEPHANIE

These three moments set this feud ablaze.

(Click the images for the videos)

THE

PUNT

THE

RKO

I was SO over Triple H by this point, but when he came running out to save Stephanie, I lost it.

I mean seriously, look at this fucking psycho:

Wouldn't you be excited for the blowoff match? Or at least a home invasion of some sort?! I KNOW I WAS! ... not so much the home invasion because that was retarded.

THE

KISS

After these three moments, I was praying for Triple H to destroy Orton at WrestleMania. That's a pretty good sign of a feud on the right tracks.

Until... (see above).

MOMENTS 2009: LANCE STORM SAYS GOODBYE

At Death Before Dishonor VII in Toronto, Lance Storm wrestled what could be his last match (no promises) against Chris Hero. Afterwards, he gave a heartfelt speech that was pretty friggin' moving, especially seeing it in person.

He's easily one of my favourite wrestlers ever, and I really only grew to appreciate his work in full after seeing him live, and more importantly, reading his blog. I've pretty much read everything he's put up there after going back and reading his archived stuff. So addicting.

His match with Hero is one of my favourites of the year, and then his speech afterwards is one of my favourite moments of the year, and can be seen in part right here:

MOMENTS 2009: KEVIN STEEN TEARS MY FRIGGIN' HEART OUT

After a lengthy Christmas break (I got Scrabble SLAM!), I'm back to write about naked men fighting each other for fun.

"MR. WRESTLING"

KEVIN STEEN

Let me set the scene.

Final Battle 2009. Kevin Steen & El Generico have just lost to the Young Bucks for the first time. Rumours are that Steen is retiring due to a nearly crippled knee after ten years in the business.

He launches into the most real (real talk) speech, thanking everyone in the business, breaking kayfabe in mentioning the Briscoes by name, and listing his loss against Nigel McGuinness in Canada as his favourite match.

Steen then hugs his longtime tag team partner and friend, El Generico, and both men are in tears.

I am pretending something is in my eye because this is the warmest goddamn embrace I've ever seen.

Then, in one swift-yet-in-slow-motion moment... he turns to Generico, (see title) tears my friggin' heart out, and says:

"I hate your fuckin' guts."

BOOM - kick in the balls, chairshot to the brain, a kiss for Colt Cabana, and he licks a fans fingers like an ice cream cone whilst making his psychotic exit.

And there goes the greatest heel turn in recent memory.

I mean, there have been some great heel turns...

- Shawn Michaels pitching Marty Jannetty through a window

- CM Punk cashes in against Jeff Hardy

- Andre the Giant rips Hogan's cross off his chest

- Bret Hart/Stone Cold's double turn at WrestleMania 13

- The Kliq turns on the business at MSG

But this one takes the cake for me. Maybe it's because there's no restriction on what these guys can do, or maybe it's because I was played like the mark I am... but nobody has ever gone this full-blown heel in my mind.

He tricked us all with his stupid good acting and playing on the rumours of his retirement. He turned on the never-hated El Generico by kicking him in the balls. And then he went GAY (which no wrestling fan likes, m i rite), by kissing Colt Cabana right on the mouth, to silence those idiots that cheered when he turned on his best friend.

Think back to Batista turning on Mysterio. It was a pretty good heel turn. He freaked out (YOU'RE SPOSEDA BE MY FRIENNNN) and said he was going to rip his head off. But people still cheered the hell out of it.

Now imagine if R-Truth ran down to console Mysterio, and Batista, clearly out of his mind crazy, kissed him right on the lips and peaced out. Don't think people'd be cheering now.

So I think that 2010 will be the year of Kevin Steen. Even though he made me cry. Bastard.

MOMENTS 2009: JIMMY RAVE, COLT CABANA RETURN TO ROH

If your nipples don't poke right through your shirt after watching this, then you need to get your pulse checked. Or at least your nipples.

The reaction of the crowd is incredible. Being there live must've been fucking awesome.

MOMENTS 2009: TAKING A SUICIDE DIVE FROM DAVEY RICHARDS

This is clearly a more personal moment, but I'm pretty positive that once everyone sees this match on DVD (and more specifically the part where Davey dives into the third row (and I assume I go down even though I was barely hit (I was a whole mess of drunk and excited))), this will be a big moment for not just me.

First off, Davey Richards vs. Austin Aries for the ROH World Title in Novi, Michigan is hands-down the best match I've ever been lucky enough to see live. And I've seen Wolves vs. KENTA/Strong, Hero/Storm, two Nakajima matches, Briscoes/Steenerico, Steenerico/Young Bucks... the list goes on (and will probably be mentioned again when I post about my favourite matches of the year). This match tore the goddamn house down.

I'm excited (and nervous) to see me get taken out by Davey, because I'm pretty sure I'm the only idiot to end up with his legs in the air, except for Davey. Could look a tad embarrassing.

But I EMBRACE it. Because that match, and moment, goes down as one of the best things I've ever experienced in my way too many years as a pro wrestling fan.

Since there are no pictures of this event anywhere, here is a sweet video of Davey's top ten moves:

MOMENTS 2009: CHRISTIAN RETURNS

His return may have been kinda underwhelming and not really sold as a big deal (it was treated more like he'd always been here "it's Christian! ..."). But I was still excited as all heck and it sparked one of my favourite feuds of the year.

Christian's always been one of my favourite wrestlers and if he doesn't make the move to RAW or Smackdown! soon, I'm just going to have to watch ECW UNDER PROTEST. Uh... if ECW still exists next year.

Also, that video gets a little ridiculous with children laughing in the background near the end. It's hard to find a good video of his return on YouTube.

MOMENTS 2009: CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI'S UFO

I was lucky enough to see this move live, and it is completely insane.

View Claudio's UFO in all it's glory HERE.

MOMENTS 2009: MARKING OUT FOR TAKER/HBK & REY/JERICHO

Looking back on 2009, two distinct moments stand out for me in terms of watching a live WWE PPV, and they both involve me marking the fuck out like an 11-year old having a Royal Rumble with his action figures (a.k.a. me when I was 15).

WRESTLEMANIA XXV: UNDERTAKER VS. SHAWN MICHAELS

'TAKER NOSEDIVES WITH HIS BRAIN BREAKING HIS FALL

I watched WrestleMania 25 in a group of about ten people, and I think everyone screamed bloody murder when The Undertaker landed completely upside down in a perfect head-first dive to the floor. One moment he was horizontal, the next, he was accordioning himself on the concrete with his head being the point of impact.

After the screaming died out, I'm pretty sure most of us just assumed he was now an actual dead man. It was super scary, and added another (like it needed it) layer of drama to an already classic match, even if it wasn't meant to go that way.

THE BASH: CHRIS JERICHO VS. REY MYSTERIO

JERICHO UNMASKS MYSTERIO

But not quite.

It was a fantastic match through and through, but I was out of my seat for the entire finish. I was had hook, line and sinker for the entire thing. When Jericho swiped Mysterio's mask, I was shocked, then further shocked when Mysterio was still running around the ring, then even further shocked to see a second mask, and by the time I could process it all, Mysterio had Jericho beat.

It was a perfectly executed finish to a near perfect match, with psychology that was executed like a wrestling feud, not a sports entertainment feud.

But the thing I remember most about these two moments was the reaction they gave me. No matter how I'll get sour on WWE, or how much I like ROH, or wrestling that is more about the wrestling than the silliness scripted around it, WWE still found a way to get me out of my seat when I was at home watching a PPV.

Granted, it was really only a couple times a year that that happened... but... yeah. Still counts!

- mitts