Here's all the tags you need to browse through the entire recap in sections:
So long, 2009.
Showing posts with label FML 2009. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FML 2009. Show all posts
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
2009 IN REVIEW: HOME STRETCH
As I mentioned in my last post, it's taking a coon's age (a COON'S!) to finish this 2009 review. I didn't have too much left to cover, but I didn't want to just leave these things behind.
So here is what remains of my 2009 review:
MOMENTS
2009
CM PUNK CASHES IN - AGAIN
I got nervous nerd sweats when Punk came out and cashed in his MITB contract on Jeff Hardy, in fear of him being the first guy to fail. But he didn't. And I nerd-rejoiced. Unlike this guy. Holy fuck is that hilarious to listen to.
SEEING KENTA AND NAKAJIMA LIVE IN THE SAME YEAR
I was super lucky this past year as I got to see both KENTA and Katsuhiko Nakajima wrestle live in front of my face, both for ROH events. The atmosphere was incredible for both of them.
ROH WORLD TITLE CHANGES
After 545 days of Nigel McGuinness holding the ROH World Title, two title changes in the same year was massive. The crowd reactions are always goose-pimply to watch.
SANTINO MARELLA
Santino is, full-stop, the funniest man to come through the WWE since Chris Jericho. No matter how bad RAW would get, if Santino showed up, I could laugh through the tears.
STARS
2009
Photo courtesy of Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography
NIGEL MCGUINNESS
Even with the two title changes this year, some people forget that Nigel still held the ROH belt for the first four months of this year, and knocked out some great matches before becoming Desmond Wolfe - where he was elevated to the main event (for a sec) with matches against Kurt Angle.
HONOURABLE MENTION: MIZ AND MORRISON
Both of these guys managed to succeed without their bro by winning the US and Intercontinental titles, respectively. Once it's time for them to step up to the main event, it'll feel special, as they've been making that climb nice and slow.
HONOURABLE MENTION: KOFI KINGSTON
Hey, apparently Kofi has charisma! All it took was for him to speak like he normally does, instead of with an accent they made him speak with! It's GENIUS! His feud with Randy Orton had it's ups and downs, and we'll have to wait for 2010 to see where it took him for keeps.
FEUDS
2009
Photo courtesy of Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography
AMERICAN WOLVES VS. KEVIN STEEN & EL GENERICO
The blood feud of the year managed to spark what should be the blood feud of this year. With Steen and Generico losing to the Wolves, then ultimately, the Bucks at Final Battle, Kevin Steen turned on his best bud in a brutal way. But before that, Steenerico fought tooth and nail with the Wolves throughout 2009 and put forward some incredible matches.
HONOURABLE MENTION: CHRISTIAN VS. JACK SWAGGER
Remember when ECW was great? Well, I actually don't know how it is now, since it's been AWOL in Canada, but there was a time at the start of this year when ECW was awesome. Christian and Jack Swagger put on some fantastic TV matches the built to PPV matches, and had a great feud that pitted Christian, a super believable babyface that's easy to get behind, against Jack Swagger, the easier to hate, lisp carrying heel.
FML
2009
GUEST HOST CIRCUS
Kofi Johnson. Evan Braun. SummerFest. "The Show" Triple H. "The Man" Mark Henry. There's gotta be more. Bottom line: RAW was a dice roll every week since Donald Trump came round. Sometimes you rolled a 6 and scored Bob Barker. Other (most) times you rolled a 1 and got Joey Kyle and Jeff Joey or whoever the fuck those Nascar dorks were. Sometimes the show was a trainwreck. Other times it was a hit because of how much of a hilarious trainwreck it was. The worst part is that RAW is being sold to us as a show that asks you to tune in for, not wrestling (sometimes not even storylines!), but to buy whatever some Z-list celebrity is selling.
I can't wait to look back on this in a couple years and be reminded of how this gimmick cheapened any potentially good storyline (ex: Hey, remember that sweet feud DX had? It all started when Verne Troyer got mad because last week Cedric the Entertainer made a match that... ah gad).
HORNSWOGGLE/DXCAPADES
I don't understand the kind of person that is old enough to remember DX but laughs at Hornswoggle. Makes me want to barf.
KID ROCK'S WRESTLEMANIA AIRTIME
Dude spent like twenty minutes rocking out, and got more airtime than JBL/Mysterio from this year (probably countless other guys from other years - like Lance Storm who's got a grand total of 0 WM minutes!). And using his performance to introduce the divas for the battle royale was completely retarded, considering that no one even knew the ones that were returning. God DAMN.
LETDOWNS
2009
JACK SWAGGER MOVED TO RAW
Seriously. Swagger was getting deadly heat on ECW as the top heel. His move to RAW seemed like it was going to be a big deal. It wasn't. He's getting played like the "goofy" heel who loses every week. I fear for his career sometimes. Godspeed, Jack Swagger.
MATT HARDY
Another ECW-to-main-roster letdown. Matt Hardy still gets a pretty big pop for a guy that's done nothing for the past who knows how long. Teaming with The Great Khali has to be a bummer.
TRANSFORMED
2009
Photo courtesy of Scott Finkelstein's Get Lost Photography
CHRIS HERO - TO - THAT YOUNG KNOCKOUT KID
Hero went from being a guy that wasn't featured on every ROH event, to a guy who his at the top of the main event scene. From Sweet 'N' Sour to concussing with his kicks and givin' KO's with his elbows. Hero is the real deal.
BIG SHOW - TO - ENTERTAINING?
Big Show started 2009 as a love interest for Vickie Guerrero. He then actually became entertaining when he found himself paired with Chris Jericho (can that man do ANY wrong?!), spending four months as an integral part of both RAW and Smackdown! But now he's back to being just same old angry Big Show. Eh.
"HEH HEH" BATISTA - TO - "UR SPOSEDA BE MY FRENNNN!!!" BATISTA
I, as much as anybody, was totally sick of that "I shrug off anything because wrestling is fake" Batista. Batista makes so much more sense as a heel to me. And he's killing it on Smackdown! right now.
LIVE
2009
ROH IN NOVI - "ARIES VS. RICHARDS"
Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards was the best match I've ever seen live. The rest of the show, wasn't as great, because that would be impossible, but it was still totally awesome. Steenerico vs. The Young Bucks ruled, as did Hero/Strong. The other highlight would have to be Omega facing Nakajima, which, if I remember correctly, had kind of a fucked up finish, but only because Omega was dropped on his head earlier in the match with a super high angle German Suplex.
ROH IN MISSISSAUGA - "THE OMEGA EFFECT"
Omega vs. Aries was a fantastic match, but maybe not quite as good as Aries' match the night before with Davey. The show was, again, awesome, with Generico/Nakajima maybe topping Omega/Nakajima. I got to see some sweet live wrestling this year.
And that's all. Stay tuned for my final wrap-up that will separate all categories for easy navigation. NEAT!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
FML 2009: MELINA VS. JILLIAN VS. WHATEVER INTEGRITY THE DIVAS TITLE HAD LEFT
Oh the humanity.
I think what made it worse was that I actually thought that Jillian would make a hilarious Divas Champion. Then Melina showed up and proved that she is much more hilarious.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
FML 2009: BATISTA WINS TITLE, DROPS TITLE NIGHT AFTER, AGAIN
Okay, the first time it happened, I could accept it.
Jericho had a great run as World Heavyweight Champion going, then lost to Batista at Cyber Sunday, then regained the title in a steel cage match on RAW like a week later. I couldn't put it together why they ever had him lose it in the first place (maybe to make you hate Jericho even more when he won it back? Fuck, I dunno), but I marked the fuck out when Jericho bashed 'Tist on the head with a carabiner and dropped to the outside.
But the second time... I don't even have the slightest idea.
Rumour is that going into the WWE Championship cage match against Randy Orton, the WWE knew that Batista's arm was fucked. Or, they knew he was going to test positive for steroids. Or whatever. Either way, they knew that the match was going to go only like seven minutes. And they still had Batista win.
Orton had been on a hot run as WWE Champion up until they had Batista essentially squash the fuck out of him, making him the first man to win the WWE Title inside a steel cage (again, in like record time).
Then, next night on RAW, Legacy jump Batista and beat him to obliteratitry, so he has to drop the title.
...
So Orton looks bad, Batista gets put off TV (nobody forfeits like THEANIMALDAVEBATISTA), and Orton gets the belt back anyway in a fatal fourway on RAW.
WHY EVEN HAVE BOBTISTA WIN IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
FML.
Monday, December 21, 2009
FML 2009: JOHN CENA DROPS BLADE
WWE BREAKING POINT
JOHN CENA VS. RANDY ORTON - I QUIT MATCH
Well, anyway... the point is John Cena brought a razor blade to the ring, and it wasn't for a shave. It was for BLOOD.
This can mean a couple things.
1. They (uh, WWE) planned to have blood in this match.
2. John Cena (and Orton) planned to secretly blade.
3. It was just extra free Gillette blades. I'm sure he's got jean shorts just FULL of 'em.
I'm leaning towards two.
Although Cena does have quite the reputation for being a company man, he also loves wrestling. And if you love wrestling, you love your favourite wrestler covered in blood.
If this is true, it would mean that John Cena is awesome. Bret Hart bladed in a match when it was against company policy because he knew what was right. Blood makes emotional, hard fought matches have that much more credibility and drama.
Blood would have made this match make way more fucking sense. I think everyone knows that. It's an I Quit Match. Randy Orton TORTURED (Michael Cole's words, not mine) Cena.
TORTURED. AND DID NOT BLEED.
This match's potential flew out the window the second I saw that blade come spiralling out of Cena's John Deere wristband. When Mike Chioda pocketed the razor it was like he was my mom putting Donkey Kong Country on top of the fridge so I couldn't play it. Just robbing us of our FUN.
Hold up. Found a clip. But it's doing something experimental with a half-green squished type thing going on.
Either way, check it out here.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
FML 2009: EUGENE REHIRED! AND... REFIRED
The segment itself was actually pretty good. But Eugene was a little soft around the edges and was fired like the next day.
It's a shame. So much could've been done with the Eugene character. Well, not so much with... more like... to. He would fit in with Punk's straight-edge army as a guy who was constantly sedated with prescription pills, like Festus. But everyone's thought of that one. And it's not going to happen.
Poor Eugene.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
FML 2009: GAIL KIM KO'S HERSELF
And Mickie James handles it like a pro!
Click the image to finish seeing Gail Kim landing on her forehead.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
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