ROH FINAL BATTLE 2010 SUMMED UP IN ONE PICTURE

Photo - ROH's Official Facebook Page

I love the guy holding his buddy's arm.

There's still a chance that I'll do a full-on Final Battle review, but I might want to watch the show a second time since I was too busy falling off the couch and to my knees during the main event to really pay attention to details.

And y'know, maybe that's the best way to review it. Not go through and pick through every little thing, but just count how many times I involuntarily screamed or fell down during the show. Hmm.

Either way the verdict is the same - show of the year.

ROH GLORY BY HONOR IX REVIEW: ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE

Before I kick off this review and spoil everything that happened, I should mention that you can still catch the replay by ordering the event from GoFightLive.TV right here. And you should most definitely do that. I don't really need to do a review, I guess, if the point of the review is to make you, the reader, decide if you should order the show. But I'm still going to do one to try and get my blog over like the nerd I am!

ROH GLORY BY HONOR IX

RESULTS, ANNOUNCEMENTS, HIGHLIGHTS

Photo - SLAM! Wrestling

Full gallery here

First, the quick results. Then, the announcements made at the show. Then, the highlights of the show. Then, that's it actually.

QUICK RESULTS

1. Kenny King def. Jay Briscoe with the Royal Flush

2. Mark Briscoe def. Rhett Titus with the Cut Throat Driver

3. Erick Stevens & The Necro Butcher (representing the Embassy) def. Grizzly Redwood & Ballz Mahoney (representing the carnival) when Stevens pinned Ballz

4. El Generico & Colt Cabana def. Kevin Steen & Steve Corino in a Double Chain Match when Corino submitted to Cabana's Billy Goat's Curse

-INTERMISSION-

5. Eddie Edwards def. Shawn Daivari (representing the Embassy) to retain his ROH World Television Title when Daivari submitted to the Achilles Lock

6. Christopher Daniels def. Austin Aries with a SUPER Angel's Wings

7. ROH World Tag Team Champions "The Kings of Wrestling" Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli def. "Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team" Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas via a "loaded" elbow pad shot

8. Roderick Strong def. Tyler Black to win the ROH World Championship after a Sick Kick.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

- Final Battle 2010 will be on December 18th and will be live on iPPV once again via GoFightLive.

- Davey Richards has resigned with ROH and will face the Ring of Honor World Champion at Final Battle 2010.

- Homicide has returned to Ring of Honor.

HIGHLIGHTS

- The ROARING HOT New York crowd to kick off the show. No one can bring the heat like NYC. Unfortunately, by the same token, no one can bring the "twinkies" chant and weird, douchey hecklers (TNA! TNA! and UFC! UFC! were particularly annoying) like NYC.

- Kenny King and Jay Briscoe almost ACCIDENTALLY redoing the Benoit/Sabu spot from ECW when Sabu broke his neck. Looked fatal. As I wondered if King was okay, he landed on his feet out of a monkey flip as if he was inside my head. Thanks Kenny!

- Mark Briscoe's corkscrew senton to the outside hitting 5% Rhett Titus and 95% tailbone-on-ringside-floor. Me may develop arse-ritis.

- Mark Briscoe delivering a top rope - literally both men on the top rope, sounds easy, looks super insane - Ace Cutter to Rhett Titus.

- Titus taking the Cut Throat Driver entirely on his head.

- Erick Stevens gorilla-pressing Grizzly Redwood to the outside for Necro Butcher to catch him. No wait, he didn't catch him, he PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE and let him fall to the floor! My. God.

- Ballz Mahoney bashing people with countless seven dollar beers.

- Eddie Edwards' overness. And badass suicide dive onto Daivari.

- The bloodbath that was the Double Chain Match. Holy hell yes. From the awesome brawling to Generico's top rope somersault plancha to the outside on Steen (that extra step he did scared the living shit out of me), to Steen pulling Generico off the top through a table, to everything else, this was a goddamned war just as promised.

- Austin Aries' tweenin' promo on Christopher Daniels, revealing that Daniels was the one to dub him "A Double." So Aries, in fine A Double form, says that Daniels should be dubbed "CD" because much like the CD, Daniels is obsolete.

- Aries falling victim to Boy Who Cried Wolf syndrome, because throughout the whole match I thought he was working his back injury... but... he just was injured. Or was selling in the most believable way of all time. Wait, maybe I fell victim to the Boy Who Cried Wolf syndrome...

- Daniels' absolutely devastating-looking top rope Angel's Wings to Aries. If Aries was indeed hurt throughout this match, this only compounded what appeared to be some serious discomfort. Or I am just a big dumb mark (likely the case!).

- Just everything about the Dream Tag Match between the Kings of Wrestling and WGTT. The crowd was truly electric, creating an atmosphere that elevated this match to a whole new territory. From the chain wrestling to the crazy double team sequences to the long build to hot tags that got the ROH faithful, a fan base that is usually numb to the hot tag spot, out of their seats. The finish was perfect - the match was promoted as a dream match, one that would be one of the Kings' toughest challenges, but the champs went over and there's room for a rematch. The belts were put over for how competitive the match was. The champs were put over because they won and outsmarted the team that hadn't teamed in years (and the start of the match told this story with Hero and Claudio getting the best of WGTT through double-teaming and heel tag tactics like pulling the rope down and cutting off the ring). Fantastic match.

- I literally can't even list all of my favourite parts of the tag match.

- Charlie Haas' elbow drop to Shane Hagadorn's taint (this was after the match).

- Jim Cornette on commentary for the main event just amped things up even more. He can hype me up for anything. I need a Jim Cornette alarm or something for the morning.

- Tyler Black's constant middle fingers to the New York crowd. This must've been the most cathartic experience in this history of independent wrestling.

- YOU CAN'T SEE ME from Tyler Black, right into an STF, drawing some very real boos. And eventually there was a "LET'S GO TYLER! - TYLER SUCKS!" duelling chant that I can't tell if it was a Cena reference or not, because I don't think I've ever heard anyone else's name used in that chant.

- Tyler hitting the Superplex and going for the Superplex-roll-into-God's-Last-Gift-combo-of-glory when Roddy counters with a fighting spirit brainbuster. Just. Madness.

- Todd Sinclair getting kicked off the fucking planet! He flew through the air and apparently obliterated his shoulder. Get well soon, feller.

- People complaining about Funk's count speed. What the fuck else did you expect from someone nearly crippled (and middle aged and crazy) from 800 years of wrestling? In fact, I honestly thought it made it more suspenseful.

- Roderick Strong finally doing what no one thought he would do, after fifteen (I believe) attempts, capturing the Ring of Honor World Championship.

- Tyler Black's final swan song - DOUBLE MIDDLE FINGERS TO THE WORLD.

- HOMICIDE.

An awesome, awesome show. It definitely made watching RAW tonight a little difficult (even though it had some really fun stuff). It's a shame there were issues again with the feed (and the replay), but GoFightLive has owned up to it, so no real blame can be placed with ROH.

Final Battle should be yet another great show from ROH, especially if we get Davey/Roddy, a WGTT/KOW rematch for the belts and Homicide's return to NYC. We should get the ever impending Davey/Daniels match that's been teased since the Big Bang somewhere down the road too.

Final thought: watch this show.

A BELATED REVIEW: ROH'S THE BIG BANG ON iPPV

It took me four days, but I finally sat down and watched the Big Bang. I feel like I can breathe again and go to ROH's website and other wrestling sites freely without fear of spoilers... and boy am I glad I managed to avoid any spoilers.

But right now I'm debating whether this is even worth writing about. What could I even say that could do even the slightest justice to how good these matches were? I could probably write until the internet ran out of space, but you have to actually see Tyler Black superplex Austin Aries and hit God's Last Gift all in one fluid combo to understand it (and involuntarily exclaim out loud while you're by yourself watching it on your computer).

So, instead of a lengthy match-by-match write-up, here are my favourite moments from The Big Bang:

RING OF HONOR: THE BIG BANG - MOMENTS

- Kevin Kelly and Dave Prazak on commentary. It felt like all of the rough patches from Final Battle 2009 on iPPV were smoothed out and they did a great job calling the matches, making it feel like the big event it truly was.

- The Charlotte fans. They were on their feet and white hot from start to finish, even giving it up for the local boys in Phil Shatter and Jack Salvation. They were obviously just exhausted by the end of the night, but who could blame them? I needed an inhaler halfway through and I was watching from my COUCH.

- Kenny King looking like a legitimate star standing toe-to-toe with Davey Richards. A fantastic match.

- FALLEN ANGEL.

- I LOVED the brawl between Stevens and Necro. It stood out on the card as being just completely chaotic, while the rest of the night was about athleticism. Necro blasting Ernie Osiris with the Section B sign was deadly.

- Cassandro El Exotico was not only hilarious, but also a goddamn WARRIOR. How can a guy who feels his opponent up for laughs (and boy was I laughing) also BREAK HIS LEG on a dive and not only CONTINUE the match - BUT WIN. Incredible.

- Rhettski's apron headscissors is also worth mentioning.

- El Generico finally fighting back against Kevin Steen - AND EVERYONE ELSE. His Brainbuster rampage was awesome, not to mention his crazy over-the-corner dive to Steen and Corino. I can't wait to see the big Chicago Street Fight.

- Colt Cabana's out-of-nowhere dive to the outside, splitting Corino and Steen like a couple of bowling pins.

- Grizzly Redwood being Generico's example for Kevin Steen and getting BRIANBUSTAHH'D, potentially squishing his head into his body and making him somehow even shorter.

- Hearing from Cornette, Bobby Eaton and Tommy Young during the intermission was especially cool considering I just picked up Cornette's Midnight Express Scrapbook, which is incredibly addicting.

- Highlight of the entire night may have been the new Chris Is Awesome/1812 Overture MASH-UP THEME MUSIC.

- I could name a ton of spots from the World Tag Title match, but Hero's running, leaping-onto-the-apron elbow with Claudio holding whichever Briscoe it was, made me leap off the couch.

- Jay Briscoe barfing all over the place after being concussed by Hero's "loaded" (loaded with TALENT if you ask me) elbow pad.

- I was 100% swerved by the Kings of Wrestling winning the tag belts. Just an awesome match. KINGS REIGN SUPREME.

- There are too many exchanges in the ROH World Title Three-Way Dance to name. It was a stellar match, much like the Tag Title bout. Roddy was the star of the first half, beating the ever-loving shit out of everyone.

- Austin Aries's heat-seeking missile to no one but the BARRICADE. How his chest cavity didn't cave in on itself is beyond me.

- Tyler Black handing out superkicks like Johnny Cage.

- As mentioned before, Tyler Black's superplex-to-God's Last Gift combo.

I could get real specific and name every awesome spot in that match or any other match on the card, but I would be overstaying my welcome.

Bottom line: This iPPV would've been even more fun had I been able to watch it live (I blame Jesus being resurrected and my family loving me - stupid family!), but it was still entirely worth the four day non-spoiler wait.

ROH FINAL BATTLE 2009 iPPV REVIEW

I'll let the hoards of whiners whine about the production/booking/whatever else they can whine about (they are whiners), and I'll just list my favourite moments from what was a crazy entertaining show that I ended up paying only five bucks for, since I split it with two pals (pals > whiners).

FINAL BATTLE 2009 MOMENTS!

- Hearing Dave Prazak accidentally spoil Sweeney's return when the GFL stream went up early - I marked the fuck out then, AND when he came out.

- The spots in the opening fourway (Omega's Kota Ibushi-style moonsault to the floor, Claudio's UFO on Titus, and the match-ending gravity-defying deadlift German Suplex)

- Bison Smith hurling a returning Pelle Primeau to the outside, chest-first

- ALL of Hero/Kingston, including the sickest looking head-first bump (through a goddamned crowd barrier) I've ever seen.

- ALL of the Bucks/Steenerico match, including the Godfather (movie, not wrestler)-like Superkicks of death to Kevin Steen

- Kevin Steen making me cry

- I should clarify that. His retirement speech had me nearly in tears (I can admit it I am A MAN) and then I'm pretty sure I screamed bloody murder when he nutted Generico. More importantly, their hug was the realest thing I ever did see, and this heel turn (FULL BLOWN, he went crazy and gay and evil all at the SAME TIME. Almost positive he licked fans who gave him the finger, on their fingers), -- was the best heel turn I've ever seen.

- Roddy essentially throwing Kenny King up in the air and having him land on himself, squishing his head. Yikes.

- AAA match was fun, really too bad the tag match couldn't happen, woulda torn the roof off the place.

- Surprise Teddy Hart/Jack Evans spotfest, which is what they would've done in a match anyway, so it works even better having them just put on a show - some mind blowing shit here.

- Briscoes winning the Tag Titles - did not expect this, but it was a great match - and the Kings of Wrestling reuniting was fucking crazy. 2010 will be awesome.

- Main Event was GREAT, I think it was better appreciated on the stream than in attendance, at least from what I read. Aries' played me like a fiddle. I was %100 positive his shoulder was fucked and the match had to end. I am a mark.

I will order any iPPV they put on. Even though there were some technical issues, I felt they were forgivable and understandable for the most part. Should make the next one (if there is one) that much better.