Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
- Mean Gene's got one hell of a trembling microphone, which they are clearly trying to get out of frame. Good luck with that ALL NIGHT.
- Even with a stumble or two, Bob Orton can cut a meaner promo than the entire locker room.
- I love how beat up Miz's briefcase is from smacking people over the head with it.
- How can something as simple as guardrails and no flashy lights and ring ropes and all that stuff that's not supposed to matter… make this feel so much better. AND THE PICTURE IN PICTURE PROMOS. FUCK IT I LOVE IT.
- SEXUAL CHOCOLATE. Best RAW ever.
- I feel like there have been a lot more "Jerry Lawler likes inappropriately young girls" jokes lately. I also feel like this Mark Henry/Dolph Ziggler match has been a whole Vickie Guerrero shirt-load of fun.
- Did Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry kick out of the Zig Zag? Maybe he needs to remain in this sexually charged Mark Henry state.
- Has Tony Atlas been huffing WD40?
- I believe Yoshi Tatsu just committed Seppuku.
- David Hart Smith's suplex clinic ruled.
- BOO. Tyson turns on DH. For what, Tyson. For what.
- Mean Gene's face is moving in all kinds of places, as if there are small electrodes underneath his skin in random spots.
- I like the logic R-Truth brings to the table. Why the FUCK should John Cena care about Randy Orton? Sure, he stands for morality and all that is good in the WWE, so giving in to Wade Barrett would be against all that he is. But, if he were to use logic, why should he help Orton, who's attacked his fucking dad and tried to end his career in the past, when he could help Barrett, then just beat the shit out of him and challenge him to a match for the title which he will no doubt win? Truth is the voice of reason… or truth I guess. (EDITOR'S NOTE: watch for me to flip on this idea by the end of the show!)
- They really went all out with the Old School theme. Just like the old merch commercials with the TV's in the backgound. Great idea to sell merch, bad idea to sell Survivor Series, but everyone knew that coming into it. (EDITOR'S NOTE: this one too!)
- I kinda feel bad for some of the kids who probably just want to see the guys they know. But I guess this is one show out of a billion that isn't for them.
- Big Zeke loves to smile, doesn't he? They make it super easy. Good guys = smile, point, maybe skip to the ring. Bad guys = frowny faces.
- I don't think I can take another David Otunga lip-bite without scooping my own eyes out with a spork.
- Haha, referees in 80's wigs trying to split up a serious fight is hilarious.
- This Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, Santino Marella, Vladmir Kozlov, Slick song and dance segment is complete chaos. And I totally feel like they were just like "HO SHIT GET THE USO'S OUT THERE TO STOP THIS MADNESS"
- Snuka's hands always look inhumanly large to me. Like balloon animals or something.
- Uso's vs. Santino/Kozlov, winners become #1 Contenders to the tag titles by default because this is all we got left.
- Holy fuck. Can someone feed the babyfaces another line besides "you're a bully."?! Even though that was one of Morrison's better promos for sure, just saying you're a bully is so unintimidating and after-school special that it deflates anything I was feeling a second ago. I guess that's not JoMo's fault, since he sounded pissed and stuff. But… bully? C'mon guys. We're grown ups. And I don't even mean me. You're grown ups.
- Otunga threw the best move he's ever thrown in that criss-cross elbow to Kofi.
- Loved all of the extra random details thrown into the Sheamus/Morrison feud - yelling at a waitress in Milan for messing up his cappuccino, picking on flight attendants… too good. I can't even tell if I like this because of how ridiculous it is (picturing Sheamus ordering a cappuccino... THEN YELLING BECAWSE IT'S JOAST TOO HOT FOR ME IRISH TUNG) or how there's so much to this story we didn't know, and for no apparent reason. I thought Morrison was just sticking up for Santino because Sheamus was bullying him, not because he also bully's people on the road too! WHAT A BULLY!
- I want someone to make a montage of every "DAMN" segment that devolves into a musicless dance-off. I don't know what use I would have for it, but I can only assume it would solve some kind of epidemic in the future.
- Eve's aggressive dancing isn't old school or new school or any kind of school that teaches things.
- R-Truth with a somersault plancha.
- R-Truth with a big goober spilling out of his mouth.
- R-Truth with a big goober catapulting out of his mouth, after a big weird Wade Barrett elbow drop (am I the only one who finds his top rope elbow drops weird?)
- Can they do Attitude Era RAW next week? I just want to see how jarring it would be to go from this to blood and boobies and cussing' and jiggly-leg Rock stomps.
- Tito Santana introducing Alberto Del Rio, as being driven by Chavo Classic, with the ropes held open for him by the Mexicools. Okay not the last part.
- I love Alberto Del Rio. - I zoned out while watching the match and apparently wrote this but I have no recollection of doing so whatsoever. Turns out even my subconscious loves Del Rio!
- LOL. Mae Young drops a bomb! Amazing. SLUTS AND BITCHES.
- My favourite diva special move = call her diva friends with a conch shell to stand in a red rover line.
- J F'N R.
- JR and King embracing somehow brings a tear to my eye like when my mom and dad hug.
- HOLY FUCK YES. Bryan Danielson being called by Jim Ross. I love this show.
- My god. RAW has become a godly show in two seconds. Jim Ross calling Bryan Danielson vs. Jack Swagger. The All American American vs. the All American American Dragon.
- I love JR completely ignoring Cole. It's the only way.
- BIG FLYING KNEE FROM DRAGON
- EVEN BIGGER DROPKICK.
- Holy hell. Great match between Swagger and Bryan. Even if it had Michael Cole stink all over it.
- AND DIBIASE ISSUES HIS CHALLENGE. I think these guys could have some great matches. But so could Danielson and a cardboard cutout of David Otunga biting his lip.
- The sheer number of legends brought in for this show is pretty overwhelming. Not to mention all of the other changes to the show. Pretty impressive. See you Sunday, whatever PPV. (EDITOR'S NOTE: wait for it...)
- Best line ever from Piper. If you had a problem, you did something about it. Today, you emote about it for several months.
- Roddy Piper. Incredible.
- John Cena's emoting. I take it back. Also incredible.
- And now the booking of the SS main event makes more sense (EDITOR'S NOTE: there it is!). Sure, no one is tuning in to see what John Cena does during the match. You can find out that result online in seconds/on RAW the next night/whatever. If you're buying this PPV based on this match, you are buying it to see John Cena beat the holy piss out of Wade Barrett. And if THAT doesn't happen (Nexus run-in/whatever) then this PPV is a fail. Because that is all they are building to.
- Goddamn. Cena hits Barrett with the Attitude Adjustment. I really thought they'd wait until the PPV. … I should have known.
Roddy Piper put that match over more than anyone involved in it has for me. And it has nothing to do with him being an old school guy or anything. He just spelled out John Cena's motivation for me in a way that John Cena has yet to do.
Anyway, great show. There was rumour that they'd run another "Old School" RAW in the near future if they pop a rating (see how I used insider language there? I'M LEARNING!), but I do believe the rating for this RAW fell pretty much on par with what they've been doing lately, which is a bummer. I thought for sure they'd do well off of this show, but maybe the advertising just wasn't there for it or something.
Oh well. Looks like it's back to regular old RAW next week. Or maybe they could do a "future" RAW where Michael Cole is hoarse and grizzled and wrestlers don't wrestle in the ring, they shoot guns at each other, because it's come full circle to the extreme since Triple H runs the show and I haven't fully fleshed out this idea that I'm making up as I write this sentence so now the joke is over okay bye.