Click the video to be taken to the original post, complete with a write-up explaining it.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Finally, here is the big finish to the three day epic Twilight trilogy-sized review of the WWE Draft! This will be an underwhelming ending. Click for parts one and two.
LIKED: GREAT KHALI, GOLDUST
DIDN'T LIKE: HART DYNASTY
Khali and Goldust are great for RAW with all of the guest host comedy skits that go on. Hart Dynasty belong on a wrestling show... I fear the day that Bret leaves.
And Ezekiel Jackson didn't even really appear on SD!, so my guess is as good as anyone's as to how he'll do on a new show.
LIKED: CODY RHODES
DIDN'T LIKE: HORNSWOGGLE
I have a ton of faith in the son of a son of a plumber, Cody Rhodes. I think he'll be a big deal on Smackdown! by the time the next Draft rolls around.
I like Hornswoggle on RAW where the comedy is, but at least now we know he'll stay far, far away from Evan Bourne. That was a black period in pro wrestling.
There really isn't much to say about the Supplemental Draft. So I'll stop typing and just give you the White Castle of Fear.
I feel like a teacher when they just put a movie on and don't give you any homework.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I don't know if I've heard anyone suggest this yet. But to me, it makes all kinds of sense.
FIND YOUR INNER BADASS
Kofi blew everyone away with his badass, racecar-demolishing, street-clothes-wearing promo on Randy Orton last year on RAW. It was awesome. The guy we only knew as the dude who came out bouncing and smiling all of a sudden had an attitude and a pair to go along with it.
Since then, aside from the occasional moment in a promo, we have yet to see this Kofi Kingston again. Kofi's been set aside for now, so it seems, to give Randy Orton some breathing room as the resident badass tweenin' babyface. But I want to see the Kofi we saw destroy a Nascar with a crowbar. How can we see that again?
Turn Kofi Kingston heel.
Kofi could run wild with his mean streak, maybe alter his moveset a bit in order to turn those cheers to boos, and maybe we'd see a guy who looked and sounded as tough as he did that one specific time. I really think he could kill it.
Now is the perfect time to do this. Smackdown! is potentially overflowing with midcard and main event faces (Christian, Undertaker, Mysterio, Big Show, Kane, MVP, Matt Hardy) and they could definitely use a fresh new midcard heel to liven things up and add to a pretty solid - yet sparse - heel roster (Ziggler, McIntyre, Punk, Swagger, etc.).
He shouldn't be a cowardly heel. He shouldn't an "evil" heel. He should be the dude who blasted Orton's car with a crowbar and showed no remorse. This dude was a bona fide badass.
All of the greatest faces in wrestling were never truly great until they showed their mean streak to the crowd. The Rock, Randy Orton, John Cena, Shawn Michaels... you could go on and on.
Kofi Kingston needs to turn heel, find his inner badass and take the spotlight he so deserves.
Kofi Kingston turning heel. This should happen.
Part One went up late last night, click here if you missed it.
Now, onto the Draft:
DIDN'T LIKE: JOHN MORRISON
I only didn't like this move because it meant that Morrison's win (and rope break kick-out of the Gutwrench Powerbomb) over Swagger will likely not amount to anything. Other than that, I'm all for Morrison on RAW.
Truth has got some explosive potential and he could really set RAW ablaze and totally blow-up in a big way. I wouldn't be surprised to see R-Truth on fire in the near future, that is, if his combustable interaction with DiBiase doesn't mean Truth is going to get burned in the long run. KABLAMO!
This was awesome for three reasons - his potential swerve right back into heel territory, the apparent upcoming Rated-RKO feud, and with Big Show to Smackdown, no Edge/Big Show feud! AND this was even more awesome for like a half hour, when Edge and Christian were on the same show.
I was really hoping for some Jericho/Christian stuff to happen, but with Jericho to RAW and Christian to Smackdown!, that isn't in the cards. And I'm pretty sure Jericho's left RAW "forever" eleventy billion times. Anyway, I'm curious to see where Jericho goes from here, with him and Edge being on the same show. His feuds are always ones I really tune in to watch, so I'm excited to see who he has his sights set on next.
LIKED: KOFI KINGSTON
DIDN'T LIKE: BIG SHOW
I'm very curious to see what happens with Kelly, mainly because she's never really had a main Divas' program ever since she started wrestling, as far as I can remember (feel free to correct me). I think it'll be cool to see how she fits in on Smackdown! potentially being the one to take Mickie James' place.
I just really liked ShoMiz. And JeriShow. And everything he did that wasn't his singles run with Vickie Guerrero on Smackdown! last year. C'mon now. Big Show belongs as one half of a heel tag team. Let's just keep doing that. Please? Have him find a guy on Smackdown! Like Ziggler. ShoZig! Or Drew McIntyre! McShow! Please. Anything. Just not goofy Big Show who hugs Teddy Long who then dances for no reason.
Kofi was floating around aimlessly even since getting definitively beat by Randy Orton 140,000 times. He needs new life. And going to Smackdown! should help. And I have another idea, that I'll write about instantly after this post.
I love this pick! It's perfect. Except Edge is no longer on Smackdown, so FRIG. I get scared. Like a lot. Like wake up in the middle of the night after mumbling "dork chops... chumpstain... sodas rule..." in my sleep, thinking that the WWE are going to wait and wait and wait until the perfect time to pull the trigger on an Edge/Christian feud or team-up, and something is going to happen where we don't get it. All it takes is one little fuck-up and Edge could get hurt or retire, I swears it. I just want this so badly. These two dudes are my heros. I love that they have the patience to wait so long for this (hi TNA), but I can't wait any longer. Let's see this this year! Somehow.
I don't know about you guys, but part of me likes the uncertainty that follows WrestleMania each year. More specifically, I love the second half of that uncertainty (first half being the build to the first PPV after WM, where not much is done since the Draft is coming up, and the second half being each show starting to figure out where everyone fits in their new rosters).
Hopefully we see some SES/Hart Dynasty tag title stuff, some Christian/Swagger World Title stuff, and some Orton/Edge stuff all coming soon.
Colt Cabana and Chris Hero are the stars of the latest VideoWire from ROH, which has the fallout from Dayton and Chicago, and the hype for Manassas and New York.
IN THIS VIDEO
- Colt Cabana, caked in blood, looking and sounding a little (completely) crazy, cutting a promo that rivals Kevin Steen's in awesomeness.
- ROH TV Champ Eddie Edwards stands up for fellow wolf Davey Richards.
- Erick Stevens reaches into the past to cut one of his best promos to date. And he gets left hanging by Nana lofl.
- Jay Briscoe def. Mark Briscoe in Killer Instinct. Or Street Fight II Turbo. I can't tell what game that is. Help.
- Jay Briscoe (with Mark as his hype man, echoing his sentiments) does it again, showing that he might be the realest promo in wrestling today. I swear it's just real to him. And now it is to me.
- Kenny King and Rhett Titus (or the ALL Night Express, as amazingly coined by A Double) talk smack about the Briscoe BROTHERRRS BROTHERRRS BROTHERRRS.
- Aries and Rhett discuss the carbonation in Sprite.
- Tyler Black admits he writes poetry. ... WHY TYLER?! It's just fodder for the haterz!
- A brief (and somehow quieter than everything else) promo from Roddy.
- Seven glorious minutes with Chris Hero, who will never be even challenged when it comes to promos.
Mmmm. Supplements. Let's get down to some seriously belated business. This will be in three main and hopefully not too boringly-long parts - the show itself, the Draft, and the Supplemental Draft.
LIKED: HART DYNASTY, JERICHO/CHRISTIAN, EDGE BACK IN FAMILIAR TERRITORY (ESSENTIALLY - CANADIANS!)
DIDN'T LIKE: GUEST HOST JOHN CENA :(
- Kicking off the show with the big Hart Dynasty title win. Holy Rick Moranis was this crowd on fire. I couldn't get over it. They LOVE them some Harts. From beginning to end, this was a masterpiece. From the promo beforehand with Miz playing off the crowd, to Bret's interruption, to the DH Smith stalling suplex with Tyson checking an invisible watch (AMAZING), all the way to the STELLAR finish with Bret shoving Miz's feet off the ropes (and his hat off of his own head - oopsie!), Miz's incredulous reaction, Tyson Kidd's crowd-popping somersault plancha from the apron to a Bret-seeking Big Show, the springboard Hart Attack, the fired-up reaction from DH and Tyson and finally, the glorious Sharpshooter on Miz (and his "I can't tell if I'm in the Sharpshooter of if I'm being electrocuted"-selling) and how the crowd popped harder for that Sharpshooter than they did for the 13-years-in-the-making Sharpshooter on Vince McMahon. I could write forever about this match. We marked out like we were eleven in our mom's basement watching this. Great way to set the mood for a very fun show. My bad for the wall of text.
- And I also forgot to mention how much I love watching Bret and Nattie on the outside together. This is the best thing going not named CM Punk. If I get to see some kind of Straight Edge Society/Hart Dynasty Tag Title Feud in the future, I'll tongue kiss my TV.
- Big Show's real life punch to Miz. That was real right guys? Looked real. Unlike UFC. Which is fake.
- Jack Swagger having a degree in finanth.
- Kelly Kelly's smiling and waving followed by a cut to Layla and Michelle McCool challenging Kelly to get in the ring with them, followed by a frequent cuts back to Kelly still smiling and waving.
- Punk/Bourne. It's too bad these two couldn't have ended up on the same show somehow. They could develop a great series of matches, even if it's not a main feud of any kind. Between Evan Bourne's Tekken-like leaping knee strikes and Punk's not-so-video-game-like kicks, they could definitely tear down a house or ten.
- Randy Orton's elaborately detailed threat to Sheamus, which the crowd responded to like wildfire.
- John Cena's hilarious fashion style. Jean shorts, sweatbands, running shoes without socks, tight-fitting baseball cap, Championship belt fastened OVER the t-shirt (thus bunching it up comically at the back and poofing it out everywhere else like he's Jerry Seinfeld (and not the "puffy shirt" - just a regular Jerry Seinfeld shirt)), all in matching fluorescent orange. Try and describe this exact outfit to a friend and also mention that this dude is the biggest name in pro wrestling, and your friend will laugh in your face. In conclusion, this makes me somehow love John Cena for being such a nerd.
- DiBiase and Mysterio making the battle royale feel more special at the end then it probably even needed to be. Bonus points for Santino hilarity. And a quick side note: I love DiBiase snatching up Marufuji's now-you-see-me-now-you-don't rope running clothesline.
- Jericho/Christian. Fantastic from bell to bell. I was hoping we'd get to see more of them together on Smackdown, but once the night was through, so was this idea.
- Swagger/Morrison - it was nice to see Swagger even the score with Morrison. More on this in the Draft portion of the review.
- Ted DiBiase attempting to recruit R-Truth as his own personal Virgil, which earned himself a smack in the mouth, and a busted-gut from me laughing so hard. Really hope Ted brings in the Fortunate Sons, then we'd have some super solid stables for the first time in a long time, between them, the Harts and the SES.
- Dolph Ziggler choking out Hornswoggle in way that made for a more convincing death than R-Truth being blown-up a week ago.
- Batista's scary promo. I didn't even expect to see him on the show and I think they knew that most people (or at least some) felt the same way, which made his interruption, his psycho-pissed promo and his shocking win all that much more awesome.
- Edge's attack on Orton, potentially u-turning him right back to heel to start a Rated-RKO feud that could feel like a tweener vs. tweener feud, which would light this summer on fire, if followed through on in a good way (which I hope it will).
- The apparent ShoMiz split. The punch was truly AWWWESOME and all, but I loved these two as a team, and really thought they still had a lot left to offer. Maybe they're not done for good, but after that definitive "I think we should see other people" right hand KO and Big Show's goofy interaction with Teddy Long, it really seems like Big Show is off to SD! as a face. Only time will tell.
- The Divas' tag match. Didn't totally hate it or anything, it just didn't measure up to the rest of the wrestling on the show.
- No Wade Barrett. :(
- Wayne Brady bringing me back to reality. Not every week can be without a goofy guest host.
- Actually, now that I mention it - same goes for this week's show! We were promised no goofy guest host, and we still got a goofy guest host... John Cena. He even cracked-wise about the whole guest host concept, then proceeded to be one for the rest of the night. All we were missing was a "Word Life: The John Cena Story" DVD plug. Actually, WE DID get a plug for the Army featuring John Cena! Holy crap.
- Hornswoggle chucking things at Dolph Ziggler and not getting disqualified. This is so nit-picky, but it's just another case of the WWE writing a segment that doesn't fit the rules of wrestling, just so they can get the result they want, even though they could've found another way AND uphold the rules of the ring. I don't want to go off on a tangent or anything here, but this happened last year sometime: In a match against Evan Bourne, The Miz was on the outside flapping his gums at Swagger, and the count on the outside was at like 7. Evan Bourne dove to the outside, taking Miz out - so the count should be reset, right? Nope. Bourne slid back in, the count continued, Bourne wins by countout. Couldn't they have found a way to finish that match, or this Ziggler/Hornswoggle match that had the same result, but didn't ignore established rules? I am such a nit-picking son of a gun, but I can't help it. *pushes up glasses on nose*
- Most of the main event. It was alright, but until the finish with Edge running in, I wasn't super into it. Maybe it was the wear and tear of three hours and change of WWE in a row, plus the three hours of Extreme Rules the night before.
Part two, the Draft recap, will be coming tomorrow (or later today, since it's 2:33 a.m. and I'm still writing about wrestling in my sweatpants. I promise I will get a life someday, dad. I promise).
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I find it hilarious that Eric Bischoff trashed the IWC publicly and now he's the guy responsible for bringing in the new Top Ten Contenders system, where the IWC shows up in hoards to vote for Indy-favourite and current poll leader Nigel McGuinness to fight for the World Title.
Place your vote (or multiple votes, so it seems), here.
Also, just quickly, I wonder how much bullshit this voting system is, considering all of the other "factors" that are involved in this ranking system. In addition to the fan vote, these weighted factors include individual wrestler career performance (aka no jobbers), win/loss record (aka you can vote for whoever and we can make them lose if we want), and opinions from Bischoff, Hogan and Dixie Carter (aka time will tell how much they pay attention to the fans).
If you did not like this PPV, I firmly believe you've been seriously conditioned by the WWE's recent penchant for events that feature random surprises and dudes winning matches they weren't advertised as being in... so you expect zaniness, get great wrestling instead, and feel disappointed. Fools!
DIDN'T LIKE: DUCT TAPE :(
In fact, I really don't need to do a full review for this. The wrestling was great, Rey/Punk had me hook, line and sinker for the whole thing (thinking that Punk was going to lose), until I finally realized the awesomeness of their feud (well, I always knew how awesome it was, but I finally got it). Rey beat Punk when the only stip was Rey joining the SES. Punk beat Rey when the only stip was Punk shaving his head. Now they need a rubber match with both stipulations in play. Awesome.
Edge/Jericho was fantastic and ended with a vicious beatdown that stays in line with Edge's character, especially following last night's RAW when he attacked Orton. The springboard Codebreaker was badass, as was Jericho hanging on the outside of the cage with his wrists tangled up in the steel supports of the cage.
Triple H/Sheamus was totally surprising and had the crowd the whole way through. Having Sheamus attack Triple H right at the start of the PPV was fantastic, as it led to Triple H selling the shit out of his arm for the entire match.
I could go on and on (Orton/Swagger was awesome with Swagger going over squeaky clean, Tag Gauntlet was fun and the Hart Dynasty are over the fucking moon, Cena/Batista delivered some serious table spots and got more exciting as the match went on), but I think I've made my point. This PPV was all about the wrestling.
The only real sour points for me were the following:
The Divas' match was good, but I just wasn't digging the whole makeup crap. It was weird seeing two totally talented and tough female wrestlers in wrestling gear suddenly bringing campy, sexist shit into their match. It made a ton of sense for the Good Housekeeping match, because that was the story. But this just seemed a little silly. I would've liked it more if it was straight up "loser gets a makeover from their opponent" to rectify what happened to Beth on Smackdown. Woulda made more sense to me, and probably would've got a big pop. Ah well.
And the main event. I really liked most of it. The start was pretty shaky for me, but then they finally caught their stride and everything picked up. But what really felt weird was the finish (which I'm sure everyone else has been talking about).
It's just bizarre that John Cena needed to find a loophole in the rules of the match to beat Batista, by taping him to the ring post. In fact, I'm not even sure it IS a loophole, since the rule states that you win when your opponent "cannot ANSWER the count of ten." The referee could've definitely used discretion and been like... well... he can answer the count, so the match should technically continue.
But overall, even with the questionable finish, I enjoyed the match and the pay-per-view the whole way through.
I apologize for this review being pretty tame. I've been sick today. That's no excuse though. The Miz would reprimand me if he heard me say that.
In our first event of the year-long series, we have a TIE.
EXTREME RULES (EVENT #1)
T1. Canadian Vampire (28 pts.) [PERFECT]
T1. French (28 pts.) [PERFECT]
T1. TOH (28 pts.) [PERFECT]
4. Monkey Man (27 pts.)
T5. Kastrada (26 pts.)
T5. Masa (26 pts.)
T5. PSO CheZi (26 pts.)
8. SETUP DISK (23 pts.)
9. SSJ Storm (22 pts.)
T10. pizzabodyslam (21 pts.)
T10. Heartless (21 pts.)
T12. TH - The Wrestling Blog (20 pts.)
T12. Cory Chaos (20 pts.)
T12. Arn Anderson (20 pts.)
15. Steve - Burning Spirit (19 pts.)
16. Mike - Next World Champ (18 pts.)
17. TheTazDevil (14 pts.)
18. TCU (10 pts.)
These points will carry over to every other event. If you missed making predictions for Extreme Rules, you can still join in at Over The Limit, or any other event and your points will still carry over.
Over The Limit airs May 23rd, 2010, so look for the next Prediction Game Post around then.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Here is what everyone is thinking for tonight's PPV, which begins in just a few hours:
Only 43% think CM Punk will have his head shaved tonight.
An overwhelming 93% (all but one lonely fella) predict that Edge will defeat Chris Jericho tonight inside a steel cage.
71% believe that Jack Swagger will rectify his questionable booking as champion by defeating Randy Orton tonight.
Only 2 out of 14 people have learned that you never bet against THE DESTROYER (I am not one of them).
The recent split-up between Cryme Tyme has almost everyone split: 43% are for JTG and 57% are for Shad.
Michelle McCool's chances of retaining her Women's Title: 29%
And LITERALLY EVERYONE is banking on John Cena to be the Last Man Standing. Well, I wonder why...
You can STILL make your picks for Extreme Rules and get in on the year-long PPV Prediction Game (it will definitely help in the long run if you get in on the first event), by posting your picks HERE. Or just right below. Either way.
Tonight is going to be EXTREME.
A while back, I mentioned I would be reblogging anything cool I found on the tumblr feeds I added to the sidebar, and here's me following through on that.
These all come from Fuck Yeah WWE! and mostly feature WWE Superstars with kittens and babies. The last one is from Speechless Superstars, and is just kind of a cool John Cena picture (am I a twelve year old girl?!).
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Photo - Tyler Black's Blog
I have never been shy about my hate for Tyler Black haters (I'm a Tyler Black hater hater!), but as of late, the hate has died down a bit (and rightfully so). Tyler has put on some incredible matches as of late, winning and defending his ROH World Title on iPPV.
But if there are any of you still out there, here is what I propose for you:
Go fuck yourself.
I've always been a Tyler Black fan, but reading his blog definitely gave me a better look at what he's actually like. He says some funny shit, makes fun of himself, and he talks to his fans, which is always cool.
From his blog:
-Songs I am liking right now: "Kids in Love" by Mayday Parade, "Soul Sister" by Train, "Live Like You're Dying" by Kris Allen, "Starting Over" by Killswitch Engage, and as much as it pains me to say this because I thoroughly hate her guts "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. I hate myself.
From his blog, re: the new ROH World Title:
The belt is actually gold, which is great because now I can refer to it as such in promos without looking like a dummy.
From his Formspring:
So I was just wondering.. how big is your weiner?
Well actually I have a yorkie. And he's big. A fat boy at about 7 pounds.
Oh man I miss that hat! And those days...I was probably 17 years old. Shoulda been out chasing
I just think that the people who trash him need to stop thinking about Gabe's Book of Secrets (I've never seen it) and what was "s'poseda happen!!!!1" (to be squealed aloud in nerd rage), and just start watching his matches as the exciting as hell wrestler and seemingly legitimately cool guy he is.
I really hope as his young career progresses (remember, he's only 23 - two months older than me) that his personality starts blending with his wrestling persona more, and we get a more natural Tyler Black in promos and stuff.
In other Tyler Black news, he'll be defending his ROH World Title tonight in Chicago against Chris Hero in the main event of a completely stacked card. Check it:
MAIN EVENT #1 - ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH
Champion Tyler Black
Challenger, ROH World Tag Team Champion "That Young Knockout Kid" Chris Hero
MAIN EVENT #2 - COME-AS-YOU-ARE STREET FIGHT
Colt Cabana & El Generico
Steve Corino & Kevin Steen
PICK 6 CHALLENGE MATCH
(1) Roderick Strong VS. (4) Davey Richards
TAG TEAM CHALLENGE
The Briscoe Brothers VS. Austin Aries & Kenny King
ROH World TV Champion Eddie Edwards VS. The Metal Master
FINAL COUNTDOWN TOUR: CHICAGO REMATCH
Petey Williams VS. "Addicted To Love" Rhett Titus
TAG TEAM ACTION
The House of Truth VS. Erick Stevens & Shawn Daivari
"Skullkrusher" Rasche Brown, The Dark City Fight Club & "New Horror" Sami Callihan
Friday, April 23, 2010
Alexander Ovechkin turned heel on children everywhere when he skated full-speed at a flag-waving kid and stopped right in front of him - snowing the little feller in.
People are fuming over this, one hockey writer even kayfabed and called him "bush league," while hockey smarks everywhere applaud his heel tactics (knowing that hockey is in fact rigged).
You can catch the potential blow-off tonight as Montreal seeks revenge against Washington. If the kid interferes and costs Ovechkin's Capitals the game, I'll lose my shit. The IWC (IHC?) will call the finish "predictable" and trash Commissioner Gary Bettman's shock-value booking.
CHIKARA's 2010 King of Trios begins tonight. So naturally, I went on an unstoppable CHIKARA YouTube bender.
I give you this video: a montage of Tim Donst getting killed to death.
And this bonus video, that will make you weep.