Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
I will agree. He looks unique. He's got a cartoon-style muscly body and the most contrasted orange-on-white ginger-hair-to-skin ratio I've ever seen on a human being. He talks really well (although, apparently his accent is put on, which explains why it sounds kinda bizarre), and he doesn't look awkward or uncomfortable on camera or in the ring.
But I can't figure out how people are just accepting the way this lad's being booked. I mean, look:
- Wins "Breakthrough Battle Royal" by eliminating Kofi, who had just eliminated Randy Orton.
"DOMINATING" WWE CHAMPION
So they then run all of these video packages showing how crazy and dominant and scary Sheamus is. But if anyone were to look at this objectively, they would realize that Sheamus as literally not defeated ANYONE of any kind of importance, with John Cena excluded, because he wasn't pinned, he fell through some furniture.
I'm not trying to whine or be a douchey little smark. I'm just pointing out what feels like the obvious to me, but no one else.
If the angle was "Sheamus is crazy dude, clearly… he destroyed Jamie Noble and attacks people, and has looked impressive in every match, and now he got a lucky break beating Cena. But hey, he has yet to prove himself. He isn't "dominating" until he handily defeats some big names." - then sure. I'm on board. But it's not.
To compare, let's look at a guy who in the past 17 years had the fastest beeline to the WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar (won the title 160 days after his debut - Sheamus? 166.)
Brock showed up similarly to Sheamus. He went nearly undefeated, he attacked people, and was put over as being a crazy bastard (primarily because looking at him, he just clearly was a freak). How does his track record compare to Sheamus' before winning the WWE Title?
BROCK LESNAR TIMELINE
- Wins King of the Ring by defeating Bubba Ray, Booker T, Test and finally RVD in the finals (no match touches the 10 minute mark).
ACTUAL DOMINATING WWE CHAMPION
If Brock was dominating, how in the hell could Sheamus be dominating? I know we're supposed to forget things from like a year ago, and suspend disbelief… but I didn't think suspending disbelief applied to LOGIC.
What I think has happened is, the main event scene has been so stale for so long that fans and critics alike were ready to give ANYBODY a go as champion, who's name isn't Triple H, Randy Orton or John Cena. I think the standards for matches have been so dummed down, the standards have been lowered so much, that when Sheamus won, it was not only exciting for a lot people, but it was also a "great match."
For me, it's a tough thing to complain about, because everybody is ready to jump down your throat saying it's pushing new talent, blah blah blah. I'm all for pushing new guys. But I'm not all for booking that is so flimsy you can't help but writing a whole frigging blog about it and feel like you just wasted your afternoon DAMNIT THURSDAY RAW THURSDAY.
Check out this blog about wrestlers who sprinted to the WWE Title. I was shocked to see Sheamus was number five.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
- Dennis Miller failing. Nobody knows what incontinent means. Maybe it's a title.
- Oh boy. K Kwik just forgot the shit out of his lines.
- Ever so slowly planting the Jericho vs. Big Show seeds. They do have really great chemistry.
- Christian is the most believable face on the roster.
- BIG GREAT COLLIE
- Holy crap Evan Bourne in a segment not featuring Hornswoggle - do my eyes deceive me?!? WHOA DOUBLE DIVE KOFI AND BOURNE --I THINK THURSDAY RAW THURSDAY HAS SEEPED BACK INSIDE OF ME
- Too bad Bourne took the pin, but it makes the most sense. I really hope that he can keep himself involved with Kofi and maybe get the same rub Kofi got from Punk when they teamed for that brief time.
- There can't be anyone more universally hated than Vickie Guerrero.
- Santino is never not funny holy poops.
- THE SHOW TRIPLE H
- I really want to try and compile every guest host fuck up into one glorious montage of baffoonery.
- Holy hell. Shawn Michaels challenging the Undertaker gave me instant nipple erection and I don't care who knows it. That was really sweet.
- Bret Hart? I uh… really? Crazy if this was done to set something up.
- Jericho is hilarious. I'm into the DX/JeriShow segment and I don't give a hoot how many times Jericho is kicked off RAW.
- Khali and Kane teaming together after Kane viciously injured Khali to put him out of action (stretcher'd out no less)… is completely fucking stupid. I just hate when the plotholes are so goddamned big that you could drive a big gay DX tank through them.
- I feel for Dennis Miller… there can't be anything worse than bombing for three hours straight.
- What's weird about Sheamus is how they talk about how dominating he is… when he really hasn't defeated anyone of any importance. He beat Goldust and other jobbers on ECW. He retired Jamie Noble who hadn't appeared on TV for like ever. He beat Santino. He beat Cena when he fell through some furniture. If the angle was "can Sheamus prove himself after barely earning the title?" I would be more into it. Instead, it's "holy fack Sheamus is a crazy monster of domination who can stop him?!" and I curl up in a ball and cry.
- Punk wins a Slammy for retiring Jeff Hardy. AMAZING. WAIT WHAT?! COMMERCIAL?! YOU FOOLS! Whoa okay we're back and he's still going to talk. Sweetness. No one is better than Punk on the mic. Bahaha… Charasmatic Enabler. I forgot about that.
- John Cena is the most clean cut super babyface in the history of wrestling. He comes out wearing a bright orange t-shirt that says "never give up" and his signature taunt is the "A-Okay!" sign.
- I sadly already know Cena wins this since I tuned into the replay while the live feed was just finishing up.
- Holy FUCK was that horseshit. As I was typing the above, thinking the match was just getting started, Cena taps Punk. BAHAHAH THE GIRL CRYING CHANTING CENA. Oh man… but seriously, wish I coulda timed that match. Right after Punk put himself over so hard talking about winning the World Title twice, retiring Jeff Hardy and winning MITB twice… Cena taps him in like two minutes tops. Might even be less.
- To add to the part about Cena being 100% clean cut babyface… he also apologizes to everyone for losing. Sowwy fans.
- Triple H mentions the winner's prize money?! I… WHAT.
So, you may have noticed that there are about as many things under the "liked" category as the "didn't like"... but it's not quite accurate. Most of the things under I liked were things like Dennis Miller fucking up, or unintentionally funny shit happening that makes me laugh. This show overall was a rough three hours to get through, and I literally fell asleep watching it.